secret moments in a crowded room

“What do you think people think so far?” Ava asks Beatrice as she and Oprah exchange pleasantries on the show.

“When Camila and I spoke earlier, she said that people are very supportive,” Beatrice smiles at her.

“Good, good,” Ava breathes and smiles.

youngsilva: MY LOVE???? MY LOVE??? I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK!!!

avatricetrash69: BEATRICE CALLED AVA HER GIRLFRIEND I AM ASCENDING

silvasilvasilva: their story… I am bawling my eyes out

queercoded: ANOTHER WIN FOR GAY PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD

beatricedefender: as long as you are happy my love bea

gobading: they are so brave for doing this fr they will become such an inspiration to many queer people out there

notmichael: so proud of you two!

avasilvaswife: AHHH I CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR MORE!!!

galpalssss: WAIT I CAN FEEL SOME ANGST IS COMING! THERE’S GOTTA BE ANGST IT’S NOT A LESBIAN STORY WITHOUT ONE

“I am very honored to be here,” Ava tells Oprah.

“She’s a huge part of this story so it’s only fitting that she’s here with me,” Beatrice takes Ava’s hand and kisses it. Ava blushes hard. They have only been showy with their friends and the thought of the whole world seeing Beatrice be sweet with her just puts her in awe.

“Look at you two,” Oprah beams. “Now, Ava, would you say that what Beatrice told us was accurate?”

“Very,” Ava chuckles.

“So what happened after you two became official?”

“It was hard,” Ava admits. “We had to hide it.”

“But we got used to it in time,” Beatrice supplements.

“Secret moments in a crowded room,” Ava smiles.

“People knew we are best friends so it’s normal for us to be with each other all the time,” Beatrice says.

“What’s hard was keeping our hands to ourselves,” she chuckles. “We both love physical touch.”

“We would just exchange knowing looks and casual touches,” Beatrice says. “To people it might look like normal friend stuff but to us it meant something more.”

“What did the people close to you think of it? Did you tell them? How about your team?”

“Our publicist didn’t like it one bit,” Beatrice sighs. “Especially mine. They wanted us to break up.”

“But we didn’t want to so they just warned us,” Ava says. “Every minute of every day.”

“Did that put a strain to your relationship?”

“Of course, it did,” Ava tells Oprah. “We know they mean well. We know that we had our careers and image to protect. I mean, I was honest that I am not straight but that’s where it should end. I can only go public if I am dating a guy.”

“Have you ever dated a woman before Ava, Beatrice?” Oprah asks. “I’m sorry but I just got curious after Ava said that.”

“No,” Beatrice admits. “I mean, I had flings but serious relationship, no.”

“Okay,” Oprah says. “How about your family and friends?”

“Friends... I didn’t tell them but I think they always knew I am gay,” Beatrice answers. “They knew and it didn’t really matter, which is good.”

“Same here,” Ava says.

“As for family…” Beatrice pauses. “My mom is finding out now with the rest of the world.”

“Why is that?”

“Mom is very traditional, very religious,” Beatrice explains. “She didn’t like show any signs that she’s against it ever, don’t get it twisted. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m afraid to tell her. That she’ll look at me differently.”

“Is it because of how Ava’s parents reacted to her?”

“Yes,” Beatrice nods. “And I have read so many sad stories of family shunning their kids because they are members of the LGBTQIA+ community.”

“It’s a cruel world indeed,” Oprah nods. “But I’m sure your mother isn’t like that.”

“I hope so,” Beatrice glances to Ava and she gives her a reassuring smile.

“Ava, you and your parent just reconnected, right?” Oprah asks.

“Yes, we now understand each other better,” Ava tells her. “We put everything that has happened behind us.”

“What do they think of Beatrice?”

“They love her,” Ava beams at Beatrice.

“Now, I know people are curious how you two continued your secret relationship,” Oprah says. “And I’m sure you’ll give us answers after a short break.”

The commercials roll.

Beatrice phone rings.

“Camila?” Ava asks.

“It’s my mom,” Beatrice says with worry on her face.

“Go on, take it,” Ava gives her a reassuring look.

“I’ll take it here,” she says taking Ava’s hand.

Ava nods.

“Hello?” Beatrice’s voice is full of unsureness.

“Bea,” Suzanne croaks. It’s obvious that she’s been crying.

“Mom…” Beatrice breathes. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she tells her. “It’s me who should have been apologizing.”

Beatrice can’t help but cry as well. Ava strokes the hand that is holding hers soothingly.

“I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I won’t approve,” Suzanne tells her. “I love you, Bea. So, so much. Nothing can change that. Please, remember that.”

“I will,” Beatrice smiles through her tears. “Thank you.”

“I’m proud of you,” she tells her.

“You’re not mad about what I said about Dad?”

“No,” Suzanne says. “It’s your right whether to tell or not.”

“Okay,” Beatrice breathes.

“We should talk more later,” Suzanne says. “Is it okay if I visit you?”

“Of course,” Beatrice says. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“I’ll let you go,” Suzanne tells her. “I am eager to know more about you and your girlfriend.”

“Mom,” Beatrice chuckles. “She’s right next to me now.”

“Hi, Ava!” her mom screams.

“Mom!” Beatrice complains. “Mom says hi,” she tells Ava.

“Hi, Suzanne,” Ava leans in to greet her.

“See you soon,” Beatrice says.

“I love you, Bea.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

She hugs Ava after they hang up.

“I can breathe so much easier now,” Beatrice tells Ava.

“Turns out that Areala was wrong,” Ava comments.

“She was the religion-crazy and not Mom,” Beatrice sighs.

“People will probably still say shit but we got all the important people in our life’s approval,” Ava smiles.

“You’re right.”

“Now for the angst,” Beatrice chuckles pointing at the TV.

“I want to show you something,” Oprah says. Chanel comes into frame and gives her an A3-sized cardboard with “The Oprah Winfrey Show” logo on one side. The other is facing Oprah.

The shot zooms in as Oprah flips it. It’s the blurry picture of them kissing at The 1989 concert in 2015.

“Oh god,” Beatrice hides behind Ava.

Ava laughs.

“Is this you two?” Oprah chuckles.

“Yes,” Ava is still laughing. “Bea, get up.”

“Why?” Beatrice asks Oprah.

“People want confirmation,” Oprah shrugs. “Especially our floor director, Chanel, who is a die-hard Avatrice fan.”

“That was us,” Ava nods.

“We were so drunk,” Beatrice explains. “We were so fed up by our publicist that we just let go and had fun.”

“The next day, they sat us down and gave us a very lengthy sermon,” Ava rolls her eyes.

“The solution they came up with is we immediately go on a date with guys,” Beatrice shakes her head in disbelief.

“And you did,” it isn’t a question.

“Yes,” Beatrice bites her lip. “We had no choice. I was still in a contract with Big Machinery and Ava has her contracts with the movies she was doing.”

“How did that affect your relationship?”

“It added to the pressure we are getting from our teams,” Ava says.

“Plus, the jealousy,” Beatrice sighs.

“But you both were aware that it was for damage control, right?”

“I did admit to her that I am bisexual,” Ava tells Oprah. “She knows I have fallen in love with both men and women before her. Like really loved them.”

“I on the other hand,” Beatrice points to herself. “I thought that I fell in love before her but I was wrong. I have never loved guys like I loved her. For guys, it's more like I fell in love with the idea.”

“Is it okay if I ask what you identify yourself as?” Oprah asks with caution.

“I am a lesbian,” Beatrice says.

Oprah nods. “So you get jealous of these dates Ava goes to?”

“Very,” Beatrice rubs her face. “I am very ashamed that I was very jealous.”

“We would fight,” Ava purses her lips. “Our fights will always be about her jealousy.”

“You didn’t trust Ava?”

“It’s the guys I don’t trust,” Beatrice tells Oprah. “Her publicist picks the,” she pauses for a moment. “The ones that looks like can’t be trusted. Sorry for the ones who are really good guys, but you have the face.”

It’s Ava’s turn to rub her face because of Beatrice’s antics. Before, it would’ve made her mad but now, she just is trying hard not to laugh.

“Would you say your relationship became toxic?”

“Definitely,” Beatrice admits.

“We would break up,” Ava reveals. “We would date other people in between but then it won’t work out and we’ll be back with each other.”

“So let’s be clear here, you both never dated someone else when you are together?”

“Yes,” Ava says. “The damage control we did was just one date or a hang out session. Just to be seen.”

“Does the guys you went with knew of this?”

“Sometimes they do,” Beatrice reveals. “And usually, they also have some damage control to do.”

“Okay, you were on and off, correct?”

Beatrice nods. “Most of the time, it’s because of me. I was the one who was not good at handling the pressure from my team and the jealousy just mixed with it. It was my fault we started falling apart.”

“Can you elaborate on that?”

“This was also the time Michael moved to Los Angeles from London,” Beatrice tells her. “We bumped to each other in a charity event and we just started catching up. He was my childhood friend. We were neighbors until he moved to the UK when I was seven and he was nine.”

“It was my turn to get jealous,” Ava bites her lip.

“Why?” Oprah asks.

“I know Bea wasn’t attracted to him like that,” Ava says. “But it’s the connection they had that I was jealous with. Before he came to the picture, it’s only me and her. And then there’s this guy that my girlfriend could talk with for hours and hours. Of course, I was jealous.”

“We fought about that a lot,” Beatrice admits.

“Especially when she went with him to have dinner with his family and her mom,” Ava tells. “It’s our anniversary.”

“Oh, no,” Oprah gasps.

“I lost track of time,” Beatrice says. “But I did make it up to her.”

“But it was never the same,” Ava sadly smiles.

“Isn’t this the time that JC la Torre came into the picture?”

“Yes,” Ava nods. “He was cast to star with me in Beatrice’s ‘Story of Us’.”

“It’s supposed to depict our story,” Beatrice says. “A day before the shoot, we broke up again,” she reveals. “Everybody knows she’ll star in the music video because we already teased it in the previous one so we had no choice but continue with the shoot.”

“I liked JC,” Ava tells. “We were going through a rough patch and he was like breathe of fresh air.”

“So you dated him?” Oprah asks.

“We never made it official that time,” Ava recalls. “It was a casual thing. I had my thing and he’s just a rising actor and his career was his priority.”

“How did that make you feel? Seeing Ava with JC?”

“Hell,” Beatrice huffs. “Of course, I asked her back.”

“And I came back,” Ava looks at her. “I was always going to choose her.”

“Until my battle for my masters started,” Beatrice sadly smiles. “That’s when it all went to a downward spiral.”

“Your battle with Francesco Duretti of Big Machinery.”

“The same,” Beatrice nods. “It was actually Ava who introduced me to Atty. Rachel Duncan who helped me a lot.”

“Then why did it caused an irreparable rift between the two of you?”

“Duretti was connected to my parents,” Ava reveals. “His parents were big investors to my parent’s vineyard. I was already on thin ice with them for outing myself in an interview. I don’t really care until I found out that they really need their support because the vineyard was experiencing financial problems.”

“So what did you do?”

“I really want to side with Beatrice and fight alongside with her but I can’t because of that. I was in a bind. I don’t hate my parents that much to have their beloved business that they put their hard work to crumble,” Ava says. “When I was asked about it in the premiere of my last movie before I went on hiatus, I just gave a vague answer.”

“And people misinterpreted it as you siding with Duretti, didn’t it?” Oprah asks.

“They did,” Ava nods.

“And so did I,” Beatrice tells. “She explained it to me but I had none of it. It was all too much. I felt betrayed even though she didn’t do anything. I will admit I wasn’t in the right mind because of so many things going on.”

“I think that’s understandable,” Oprah comments.

“I thought so too,” Ava agrees. “That’s why I though her breaking up with me was just one of our hot-and-cold things. I just let her go to cool off.”

“But when I came back to the apartment I gifted her for her birthday, I packed my bags and didn’t say a word,” Beatrice relays.

“I begged her not to go,” Ava sniffs. “And she just went without glancing back. That hurt like hell.”

“I would say that was the biggest mistake of my life,” Beatrice reveals.

“I’m sorry,” Beatrice hugs Ava as the show took a break. “I’m so sorry.”

“Stop,” Ava strokes her back. “You don’t have to say sorry anymore.”

“I hurt you so bad,” Bea tells her.

“It was the circumstance that made you do it,” Ava comforts her. “It was out of our control.”

“I was an asshole.”

“You’re not anymore.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“Bea, I’m just as lucky as you.”