i’m a dumb teen boy, i eat sticks and rocks and mud
It was a slow day at Run of the Mill. The type of day where Usagi could get away mindlessly scrolling through for you page, spamming his friends, or talking to his coworker, Maika. Now, usually, slow days would stay slow, but this day proved to be an anomaly, due to the fact that as soon as he turned to Maika to engage them in a common debate about comic book characters, he could hear a group of people having a heated debate about.. something somewhat illegal?Maybe?
“Poison and venom are not the same thing!”
“Uh, yes they are-“ the door was pushed open, as turtle (?) yokai walked in. “Both are liquid that make everyone fucking die.” The yokai who said that, a small one with an orange bandana, was frowned at by a larger one with a red bandana. “Hey- language!” The orange one rolled his eyes as he sat, and the others followed.
“Scoff!” The purple one proclaimed. “Michael, I don’t think that you understand. Poison is a toxin that enters the body by inhaling, swallowing or absorption through the skin. Venom is when the toxin is injected into you.” With that, he picked up a menu that had been set on the table earlier by Usagi, and began scanning through it.
“Hey, know what else is injected?” Asked the orange bandana one.
The purple one tilted his head up. “Yes, blood, a worryingly lot of different drugs-
“No, your mother.” With that, the orange one gave a long, self satisfied sniff, and picked up a menu. The blue one, who had been watching the conversation with vague interest, made a loud, wheezing sound, and slammed the table with his fist. The blue one motioned as though he were wiping a tear from his eye. “They grow up so fast,” he whispered to the red one loudly, who was facepalming so hard Usagi could almost hear it.
The purple one gave a long sigh and went back to his menu. “Interesting attempt, Michael, but we share the same mother.” He paused. “I assume.” The orange one opened his mouth to reply, but Usagi didn’t hear, as Maika gave a loud snort. “God, I love those goofs.” At Usagi’s confused expression, they laughed. Maika was the sort of person who laughed a lot, and Usagi liked that about them. “Some time I forget you started like, half a week ago. They’re regulars.”
“Oh,” said Usagi, glancing back over at the table where they were sitting.
“Do you wanna wait them, or should I?”
“I can!” He said loudly, grabbing the attention of the group for exactly one and a half seconds, before they went back to their conversation. “I think I could do it, uh, I should.” He said, quickly glancing at her before back to the group.
Maika tilted their head and gave a confused smile. “Okayy,”
Usagi gave a jerky nod. “Okay!” He said enthusiastically, before walking over to their tables. “Hello! Uh, what can I get for you today?”
“Hi!” Said the red one. “Can we just have a pepperoni pizza, please?”
“And orange soda!” The orange one gave the red one a pleading look.
“..Yes, and orange soda.”
“Okay!” Usagi quickly wrote that down in his notepad in case he forgot- he had a real ten second memory. “Anything else?” He glanced around at the table, and accidentally made eye contact with the blue one, who he had been more or less trying to avoid looking at- for no particular reason, really.
The red one pondered this for a second. “Nah, we’re good! Thanks!”
“No, thank you! Your food should be ready soon.”
Usagi gave his best Customer Service smile(trademark patenting), and pretended he didn’t trip and almost fall over his own feet as he left.
_____________________
“The blue one?What interest do you have in him?”
Before meeting Señor Hueso, Usagi didn’t think that skulls could have expressions. He was wrong, and the Señor Hueso was currently sporting a look that was a cross between being severely unsurprised and being severely unimpressed.
Usagi blinked. “.. I think it’s important to get to know our regulars?” He tried.
He also didn’t think it would’ve been possible for someone to look even more unimpressed. He was also wrong.
“So do you want to learn the names of the others?”
“Sure!” Usagi beamed.
Señor Hueso sighed. “I’m not gonna tell you his name, because that’ll just end up making you bug me even more about him.” He turned around, prepared to stride back into the kitchen. Before he left, though, he tilted his head back. “You wanna know his name? Just ask him. I’m pretty sure he’s glanced at you at least twenty times since they came in.”
Usagi sputtered, and with a satisfied smile, Señor Hueso strode away.
_____________________
It was a week and a half before Usagi talked to the blue-bandana wearing yokai.
(Well, technically, he had talked to him, if walking up to his table when he had only came with the orange-bandana one who had to use the bathroom as soon as they came in, and Usagi had walked up to him and sputtered exactly four seconds of unintelligible nonsense before promptly turning and running away. Usagi hoped he didn’t remember that. Minnie, from the frequent smirks they sent whenever he stole not-so subtle glances at the yokai, definitely remembered.)
But today- he had a plan. Well, not really a plan, per se, more so as he had noticed the blue-bandana wearing yokai had came into Run of the Mill alone, he had decided to talk to him. About what, he wasn’t really sure, but he was determined to make sure it was better than his last disastrous attempt.
“Hello! Welcome to Run of the Mill, what can I get for you today?”
“Oh!” The yokai seemed a little caught off guard but gave a relaxed, almost lazy, grin anyways. “Can I get one of your finest pizzas, please?”
“Sure!” He propped his notepad up, which he probably should’ve had out anyways, “What kind?”
The yokai stroked his chin, as if he were making a very important, life-saving decision. “..Cheeese.” He said decisively, seemingly drawing it out for no particular reason. “With the extra parmesan too?”
Usagi laughed. “Sure!” He really needed to stop saying that.
The yokai smiled at him, and Usagi had no idea why he stayed for so long after (probably no longer for three seconds, but it felt like at least two minutes)
“Yeah,” Usagi continued for no particular reason, flusteredly. “I- your food should be ready soon.” And then promptly ran the fuck away to the kitchen.
“Smooth moves, Yuichi,” Maika teased, as they took a pizza to a couple. “Shut up,” he groaned back.
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“Here’s your order! Cheeese, extra parmesan.” Usagi set the pizza down on the table. “Anything else can I get for ya?”
“Oh, can I get some of it to go? Most of it’s for my siblings,” he added.
“Of course!”
The yokai took a bite of his pizza, while Usagi frantically scanned his brain for something to talk about. “I like- your katanas,” he blurted.
The yokai seemed surprised at his statement, and quickly finished what was in his mouth. “Oh, you mean these babes?” He patted the swords on his back. “Thanks, I stole them.” He tilted his head curiously. “Technically? I think?”
Usagi, caught off guard, gave a loud snort. “I was going to compliment you on how well taken care of they are, but now, I’m frankly a little afraid you’d steal mine.”
The yoka lit up, which Usagi was woefully unprepared for, and could feel his heart palpitate in his chest. “Woow, we’re both totally awesome, like the color blue-“ he motioned to Usagi’s tie for his ears-“and love swords? Are you feeling something? Because I’m feeling something.”
“Um, what?” Asked Usagi, voice slightly hoarse.
“But first of all- I’m gonna need your name. It’s, y’know, for science.”
(The yokai didn’t pronounce science the way it was meant to, he pronounced it sky-ence, and even though Usagi couldn’t tell whether he was doing it on purpose or not, it probably shouldn’t have been as endearing as it was.)
“Yuichi.” As cute as he thought the guy was, he wasn’t going to let some person he’s talked to for barely longer than two minutes refer to him as his given name. “What’s yours?”
“The name’s Leo Hamato, but you can call me-“ he stuck out his hand and gave a confident smize- “anytime.”
Usagi laughed. “Okay. What’s your number then?”
Leo’s eyes widened, and Usagi inwardly high fived himself. Holy shit that was fucking smooth, where the hell did that come from?
“Uh, it’s, funny story. I sort of forgot it?” He gave a shrug. “Not an excuse, I quite literally did.” He
gave an almost nervous chuckle.
“Oh,” Usagi said. He had no idea why he felt so awkward. “That’s fine.”
“I mean, I could probably leave and go get my phone-“
“Oh, no, it’s fine- I’ll just go.”
As Usagi quickly left to go serve another customer, he realized something that would have probably been very obvious to a different person.
God fucking dammit.
I should’ve just given him my number, shouldn’t I?
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“Thank you for coming, and I hope you found your experience at Run of the Mill satisfying!”
“Oh trust me,” The yokai got up with his pizza box and winked, “I am very, very satisfied.”
Usagi laughed. “Um, okay,”
There was a pause. “Okay- uh, I don't know whether you were serious or what-“ Usagi carefully took a slightly crumpled napkin out of his pocket with his number scrawled onto it in messy writing. “But here’s my number.I’ve never really given anyone my number and don’t really know what to expect, so just so you know-“ he said, avoiding the yokai’s gaze, “if I find this number posted online or you ghost me or something, I will hunt you down and kill you.”
(Okay, maybe the death threat was a little much? Usagi didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.)
“Oh, okay,” the yokai took the napkin. “Cool.”
They stared at each other for a moment, before simultaneously breaking it. “Cool,” Usagi echoed.
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(123) 567 8933
3:45 am
(unknown number)
so
youve never given out ur number?
what else havent u done
i have an idea
i hope you know that if this is a booty call i’m blocking you