The Flu

"We gave Victoria a heart attack?" Jasper gasped. He had known she wasn't going to take everything well, if she found out about the mess with her funeral, but still, she had had a heart attack as a result? "Shouldn't you be getting her to a hospital instead of talking to us?" What if she died? Could you somehow jinx someone and cause their death if you went ahead and wrote their obituary and sent it to the paper while they were still alive? And bought them a tombstone? And a coffin? And picked out their burial plot? They had done all of that, and it had probably called down some sort of horrible karma that doomed Victoria!

"It wasn't a heart attack. He didn't say she had an actual heart attack." Fury said. But was a near heart attack much better? "Coulson, exactly what happened?"

"For some reason Vic was messing with her phone, and she must have clicked the wrong button, because the funeral popped up and she just started screaming." John said since he was the one who had been there when the problem started. He shuddered, recalling those screams. Vic mad, frustrated, annoyed, ready to kill him, those screams he was used to but a scream of pure, absolute fear, he had never heard that before and he never wanted to hear it again. "You actually let them have a funeral for her? I know Shield's supposed to be in lock-down, but letting them have a funeral for someone who isn't dead rather than break the lock-down?"

"We are trying to avoid anyone else getting sick. We have been calling constantly for the past twenty-four hours trying to get the thing cancelled. No one has returned a one of our million calls." And you would have thought someone would, if only in the hope of getting some sort of quote for what had turned into the funeral of the decade. "Exactly what did Agent Simmons say was wrong with Victoria?"

"Spasm of an artery." May said. "She thought she could take care of it with medicine, but if something else happens to upset Victoria, we could have a real problem on our hands."

Spasm of an artery. That didn't sound serious but he had a feeling it was a whole lot worse than it sounded. "Is Agent Simmons sure that Victoria doesn't need to be in a hospital?" But then this was the agent who had yelled at him for wanting tests ran on Victoria that she thought could potentially endanger her. She was being incredibly protective of the senior agent for some reason.

"She thinks she can handle it here, as long as something else doesn't happen to upset Victoria any more." Coulson said. "Director, I hate to put anyone else at risk, but it doesn't seem like phone calls are fixing this thing. I think John's right. You need to break that lock-down and get someone over to that funeral fast to put a stop to this."

"My mother's going to try to talk to Victoria's family after the service." May said.

"But there are over 3000 people there and they've got the burial and then a wakes scheduled at the Watergate and the White House afterwards." Maria said as she looked up from checking her phone for funeral updates.

"So my mother may not be able to get anywhere near them."

"Right. I'll handle it. Tell Agent Simmons I'm going to handle it now. The funeral and the death issue are going to be taken care of." Fury said as he ended the call and reached into his desk for his car keys. He just hoped he could manage to get there before they left for the wake at the Watergate. He had no desire to have his car towed again. "Maria, call Agent Carter and have her meet me downstairs. She can pick up her aunt and get her back home where she belongs."

As Fury and Maria both left to hopefully fix the mess that was Victoria's death, Jasper's phone rang.

"Jasper, have you seen what's happening online? Victoria's funeral is fast approaching the last royal wedding in numbers of viewers! What is Fury doing about this?"

"He's on his way to try to straighten it out now. Felix, we have a major problem." Jasper said as he hurried down the hall and into the thankfully empty break room. "Victoria saw the funeral online."

"What?"

"She saw it. She somehow hit something on her phone, and there the funeral was, live and shocking. Felix, Phil called and that scientist of his that's been looking after Victoria, she says the news almost gave her a heart attack!"

"A heart attack? Do you mean the kind of heart attack that will lead to all of us needing funerals or…."

"The other kind. The kind that might lead to Victoria needing a real funeral." But how would they do that, if she died for real after they had already gone to so much trouble over a funeral that was a mistake? They would have to do it all over again, wouldn't they? But did insurance cover two funerals?

The other kind of heart attack. Not good. "But you said she almost had a heart attack. She didn't actually have one, right?"

"She had some sort of spasm of an artery. I'm not sure what that is, but it doesn't sound wonderful. And it sounds painful too."

Spasm artery heart. Felix typed those words into his computer and a few seconds later he was cringing as he started to read. "Coronary artery spasm. Emotional stress can cause it."

"And seeing your own funeral would definitely count for emotional stress." Victoria was going to kill them and he couldn't blame her one bit. How had this situation gotten so far out of hand.

"Uh, oh."

"Uh, oh? I don't like that. Why did you say uh, oh?" Jasper demanded. And why was he sensing a new complication?

"One of the things it says you should avoid if you have a coronary artery spasm, high stress situations. Wouldn't you say that being a senior Shield agent would count as a high stress situation?" Felix said.

"So Victoria might not be able to be a agent anymore? Early retirement?"

"This can lead to heart attacks. Would Fury want to take the risk that she could have a heart attack in the middle of running a major opperation?"

"Retirement. What have we done?" Jasper moaned as he buried his head in his hands. Victoria was going to kill them if she was forced to retire. That is if a heart problem didn't kill her first!