Singapore Mei Fun

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Steve creeped deeper into the dark cave, holding his sword quiet against his side as tried to find sturdy footing on the sandy entrance. It was easier to move in his reduced armor, stripping everything but his gauntlets, pauldrons, shield, and sword, but he was aware that he was going into a very dangerous situation with very little protection. For a moment he thought darkly of the chief advisor, Lord Coulson, who had approached him a fortnight ago for help with the kingdom’s ‘little problem’:

A dragon.

A dragon that set ablaze huge swaths of farmland (granted, only after the harvest had been collected). A crafty dragon that stole armor from soldiers when their convoy stopped for the night (except it only stole the dented helmets and right shin guards). A greedy dragon that ate half a herd of wild deer from the King’s Forest (which ended the mounting overpopulation to the relief of the gamekeeper). A dragon that rolled around in the fields and put the cows off their milk (...there didn’t seem to be a positive result from that besides the surplus of cheese generated).

When Steve had asked if the dragon had actually hurt anyone Lord Coulson had grumbled a terse sounding, “No, but it’s only a matter of time with the way people keep chasing after it trying to catch a look”, before placing a heavy bag of gold alongside a weathered map that depicted where the animal was seen last.

Thus, Steve was given the noble quest of finding and disposing of the dragon that was...annoying the countryside. Actually, when he investigated the matter more, besides the king’s chief advisor, everyone who had been in contact with the dragon seemed to find its actions either amusing or highly interesting; like that of a cat's.

He hadn’t even had to use the map after he exited the crowded streets of the inner-city; just mentioning the large flying beast resulted in a laugh or two, a remark of what it did last time(“It stole my mother-in-law’s pewter pitcher!” “It scattered my compost heap to take a nap!” “It ate the pies I had cooling on the windowsill!”), and Steve was steadily pointed south towards the next village where it had been ‘terrorizing’ the locals.

The last villager he talked to, a teenager studying to be a scribe, described the dragon’s cave in loving detail before asking if he could come to see the dragon and perhaps ask it a question of two. Steve, being much older and much wiser, snipped the request in the bud and quickly mounted his horse to make the picturesque ride towards the dragon.

Steve was fairly sure the dragon was going to be less than expected after he started on the journey; possibly smaller than a cottage and fairly dumb, from the way it allowed itself to be seen and how it seemed to be stealing items from townspeople instead of sneaking off with the royal jewels. The dragon was probably docile, too, according to an old lady from two villages past, who mentioned that it had made friends with a couple of the sheep in her flock that were less than stellar when it came to the brain’s department. With the nicknames of Dummy, Butterfingers, and You, Steve had assumed the old woman wasn’t that much smarter than her sheep.

After dismounting and walking for half an hour in the cave, there it was: huge, menacing and magnificent. Filling up the space that could have held the entirety of the King’s cavalry, and a head big enough to swallow a horse whole, Steve began to wonder if Lord Coulson had sent him on this mission to fail. There was no way he, a single knight, could defeat a dragon this large.

Red scales shimmered with each exhale, glimmering like rubies in the dark light. Bronze decorated the points of the dragon, the tips of its folded wings and the smidgens of underbelly he could see when the creature shifted slightly, giving it an unnatural glow from a hole in the ceiling that allowed in sunlight. The only difference in the dark red and golden hues was the pale, blue spots located high on the skull and the large circle of similar color near the plated chest area.

‘Eyespots,’ Steve thought, carefully stepping closer, ‘possibly a diversionary tactic? Similar to that of-’ He paused his inner monologue when the dragon shifted its heavily armored neck, sending a helmet and a few other pieces of armor skittering across the well-compacted sand floor. This wasn’t his first time seeing a dragon, he remembered Bucky once pointing out a splash of vibrant green against the sky when they were young and spending a week finding its abandoned lair, but it was the first time he had actually been close enough to count every scale that delicately circled its nostrils and it was making the hair on the back of his neck stand up in sheer terror.

Small humans were not supposed to be this close to an animal this big, his hindbrain screamed.

Steve ignored the instincts telling him to turn tail and run, but allowed his curiosity to convince him to bend and check the helmet that rolled to a stop nearby to make sure there weren’t any...remains. He let out a breath of relief when he didn’t find a burnt skull inside the metal and shifted his weight back into a defensive position, only to find an eye, dark, honeyed bronze, staring down at him from atop the pile of armor and decorative metalwork.

“Uh, that has to be uncomfortable,” he blurted, finally realizing that the dragon’s hoard really wasn’t gold or princesses, like other dragons, but was a huge heap of metal items and armor. He eyed the horseshoes near the base that had been scattered about in a haphazard pattern. “I mean, it’s metal and sharp and…” Steve quickly composed himself when the dragon didn’t move to attack, possibly shocked that someone had found it in its home, and prepared himself for battle by issuing a challenge.

“I’m here to drive you from my kingdom, foul creature, and avenge those you’ve wronged,” Steve proclaimed, swinging out his shield to prepare for the blast of fire he was sure to result from his pronouncement. When he wasn’t toasted or thrown against the wall, he peeked over the curved edge to see that the dragon had shut its eyes again in slumber.

“Hey! Hey!!” Steve indignantly shouted, kicking at the helmet that had fascinated him before with a loud clang that garnered the response of the dragon waking up with a disgruntled huff, “I’m here to challenge you! Proper knight to dragon protocol states you have to at least acknowledge my challenge before burning me to a crisp!”

The third eyelid of the large animal blinked slowly over, gaze unwavering during the action, and Steve, for some reason, knew that the animal was more bored than interested in his words.

“Come on!!” He yelled louder, gesturing with his shield and becoming more frustrated when the dragon seemed ready to go back to sleep...again, “I know you can understand me! Stop being obstinate and fight me like a man!”

“Like a man?” The dragon rumbled finally, groaning afterwards when it began to move its body from its comfortable perch, “I think you’ve been reading the wrong books, gallant knight. Dragons are not men, and we do not fight like them,” it said, bowing down into a deep stretch that highlighted the arch of its back and the large wings that brushed against the vaulted ceiling. “Granted, you’re not the first knight to find me, but I will say you are the most handsome,” it finished, looking over the knight who was now turning bright red, “I might not even eat you, it seems such a waste...”

Steve felt a little queasy. He didn’t know if it was because a giant lizard was flirting with him or the fact that his looks might prevent him from being eaten.

“But you did state your terms, so I guess I must abide. Those ‘knight to dragon protocols’ you seemed so fond of,” it sighed.

Before Steve was able to ask what terms the dragon was talking about, he was sure he hadn’t said anything that could be taken that way, the dragon had slid cat-like off its hoard and was abruptly enveloped in a lighting blue colored magic. Just as Steve was prepared for the attack, because that had to be the only thing the dragon could be gearing up for, the crackling blue pulsed and abruptly filled the room with a sudden blaze of light.

As Steve blinked to restore his vision, black spots dancing in front of his eyes, the dragon had disappeared and a man, who obviously had been a prisoner (maybe a prince?) was left standing in the middle of the cavern. There was a moment of silence where they took each other in, Steve with his travel-worn clothes and the other man without a stitch on him, before the moment was broken by the clunk of another horseshoe falling off the dragon’s hoard.

The man with the oddly-shaped facial hair sighed while rolling his shoulders, glancing at the knight who seemed more embarrassed by his nakedness than taking advantage of a soft and squishy potential enemy. “Well? Are you ready?” The man stretched his hands towards the ceiling, highlighting the lean muscles, before dropping into a sloppy defensive position.

Steve was not blushing. Steve was not blushing while staring at the, frankly, gorgeous man standing naked in front of him inside a dragon cave. A man who, know that he looked a bit closer, had eyes that were extremely familiar, almost like the-

“Y-you’re the dragon!” Steve stuttered, gesturing vaguely in the other man’s general direction, careful to make sure his eyes didn’t catch on any...interesting bits. “I-this isn’t how it’s supposed to be! A dragon! I have to fight you as a dragon! I have to get rid of the dragon, not the dragon-turned-person!”

“You said to fight you as a man, and this seemed like the easiest way.“ The man snorted, seemed amused by the noise, before shrugging and distracting Steve again at the smooth play of muscles under olive-toned skin, “I don’t see why it makes a difference. I’m still me. You’re still you. I just made it a little fairer. I could have just eaten you.” He mused, tapping at his chin and looking over Steve again. “I mean, I still could eat you, but it seems un-sportsman like. Don’t want it getting around that-Gods!”

Steve had taken the chance to lunge forward with his sword, surprised when the dragon-in-human-skin managed to dodge, barely, by scrambling around the heap of metal junk nearby.

“Hey, hey, hey, Mr. Knight, I thought you’d be all noble and at least let me get a weapon or something before you skinned-yeow!” The other man scrambled back when Steve threw his shield at him to try and hit his legs, all cockiness leaving him when he realized that Steve was going to kill him. “Seriously? You can’t even-“ the dragon yelped again when Steve strode towards him, circling the larger section of the hoard at a panicked run when Steve unsheathed his broadsword.

A few moments later, after Steve had chased the naked man around the huge pile of broken armor and rusty nails three times, he finally closed the gap when the other man stumbled-“Oh winged one! That hurt! Nails hurt when you step on them in this stupid body!”- and threw his sword to the side to subdue the other by tackling him. He didn’t really want to hurt him, but he was obviously a little rough when the dragon-man wheezed out a gasp after Steve pushed him against the wall, making sure to pin the other’s hands to the wall above his head because for all he knew dragons needed their hands to perform their magic.

“Okay, okay, I give, I give,” the dragon said grimacing as he shifted from foot to foot before he continued to ramble, heaving in a huge breath that drew Steve’s gaze to the round circle of blue glass in the smaller man’s chest before he was abruptly sidetracked by the fact that the man was still naked and Steve had him pressed right against his front and he swore he could feel the dragon’s body heat even though there was at least a foot between them.

“-or maybe some horseshoes? They’re really nice, and I know you have a horse around here,” the dragon stopped momentarily to lick at his lips, which Steve unfortunately noticed, “And I know that shield wasn’t made for you, I could make you a new shield? And-what are you looking at?” The dragon asked.

Steve did not reply ‘your nipples,’ but it was close.

“Nothing.” Steve grumbled, leaning ever so slightly away to put distance between them. “I’m just deciding how to get rid of you,” he continued, ignoring the widening bronze eyes, “Lord Coulson said I had to defeat the dragon. Except, well, you’re not a dragon right now.”

The naked body squirmed in fear and Steve did not look down, though he did tighten his hands around the slender wrists.

“In fact, it might be better if I don’t bring you back with me. Everyone in the city will think I’m crazy. Sir Steven bringing back a man and saying he’s a dragon.” He pursed his lips in thought and stared down at the man who was now sucking on his lower lip and widening his eyes so he looked more pathetic and innocent at the same time while trapped against the wall. “And I can’t kill you, because I’ve been tasked with protecting the weak and defenseless, which you now are.”

The dragon nodded and then stopped midway with a muttered, “Hey! I’m not pathetic!” while resuming his struggles against his captor, “I’ll have you know I’m one of the strongest dragons! And the oldest! My wings make all the lady dragons fly at the cycle!”

“That may be true, but right now you’re a skinny, and a bit sickly,” he added when he saw the dragon still hadn’t caught its breath from ranting at him, “So I guess I have to let you go,” Steve sighed, stepping back after releasing the smaller man and ignoring the tingles in his hands. He had been right; the dragon seemed to run hot even while in a human body and it had made his gauntlets warm to the touch.

“Oh gallant knight,” the dragon simpered, massaging his wrists with a grimace as he stepped from the wall back into Steve’s personal space, “I truly do owe you my life and I have to repay you in some manner.” He said while walking his fingertips up Steve’s chest. Steve was so distracted by the motion (where had his training gone?) that he didn’t realize the dragon had asked him a question until the awkward silence was hovering between the two of them.

“Oh, um, yes?” Steve answered tentatively in response, hoping he hadn’t just agreed to have his horse turned into an appetizer.

It was worse.

Steve swallowed against the lump in his throat at the firm press of lips, refusing to open them when a tongue teasingly dragged over them. The dragon’s warm body plastered itself against his own, squeaking against the heavy metal pauldrons to leave streaks, and Steve couldn’t help but bring his hands up to clasp the smaller body tightly. It wouldn’t be polite or knight-like to allow the other to fall to the ground.

“Well,” Their lips separated with a wet smacking sound, Steve coughing to hide his discomfort, and he turned to locate his shield while ignoring the dragon who was now obscenely licking his lips. “Um, now that that’s done, I guess I’ll just go and come back when you’re a dragon again ruining the countryside and-“

“Ah ha! No, foolish human, there won’t be a next time! You’ve let me go and now-“ The dragon frowned, flexing his arms, “And now I can-“ The smaller man grunted and flexed again, sweat breaking out across his body before gasping in defeat. “That should have, I should have been big again, I mean, unless-“ He abruptly cut off and looked at Steve with an expression that was more filled with fear than when Steve was chasing him with a sword.

“Please don’t tell me you’re a virgin.”

Steve didn’t respond but he couldn’t stop his face from flushing bright red. He had, well, he had received favors from countless maidens and princesses, but he had never- would never unless- he had been hoping he would find the one during his countless travels and maybe settle down. Start a farm. Stop hunting dragons; he eyed the still naked man who was now moaning into his hands.

“No. No! You idiot, I’m stuck like this now. I mean, I never thought I’d meet a virgin. Really? Are you sure?” The dragon raked its golden eyes up and down Steve’s body, which he felt like a hot caress. Maybe the dragon had some type of poison in its saliva and he was only having a reaction to it now? “I’d say you were lying but the proof is obviously in the pudding. I’m sure your little situation would help if you ever have to suddenly storm a castle of haughty unicorns, but that really puts a crimp in my plans to turn back into my beautiful scaled self and eat you.”

“Wait, what? You were going to eat-”

“I said, you made this mistake and now you’ve got to fix it. We have to go find my true love and get a kiss from them. Think of it as a quest or something noble if that helps you sleep at night, stupid brave knight.” The dragon grumbled and stomped over to the pile of metal and ignored the gaping knight, who had his hands limply hanging next to his body. “I swear, if you try to pull that knight stuff again about having to vanquish me I am going to-“ The rest was cut off as the dragon began digging through the scraps, sending a tower of rakes to the ground with a crash.

True love’s kiss?

Steve swallowed thickly and definitely did not follow the curve of the naked ass in front of him, which had started swaying as the dragon-no, man for now- dug deeper into the hoard. “Do you know who they are?”

“No. And since this is your fault you might as well start calling me Tony.” The dragon gave a small exclamation of joy and pulled out a lump of melted iron, “It’ll be easier to call me that then ‘you dragon’ or, what was it that other knight called me? Ah! Egg sucking belly dragger!” Then he shoved the metal and a pickax into a rucksack before turning and striding out of the cave and towards the morning light.

Steve followed the man docilely after collecting his sword and shield, watching him as he loaded what seemed to be knickknacks and jewelry into the saddlebags of Steve’s charger. The horse had its neck arched so it could snuffle at the olive-toned, bare skin that was, frankly, gleaming in the sunlight. “Clothes?” He weakly suggested, not sure why he sounded so reluctant.

The dragon-Tony-turned and placed his fists firmed on his still-unclad hips. “Is that a thing humans do?”

Steve was doomed.

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