The lasagna was good, it was probably the best thing Maya had ever eaten until now. When Carina had stepped into her office, it felt like an invasion. The office was her space, and Carina just stepped into it. No warning and on top of it all, holding a Tupperware with lasagna, only for her.
She was too nice, and Maya felt like she didn’t deserve nice. She had just failed at her job; she didn’t need people to look after her. She was good on her own, she thought. She pushed Carina away, but immediately felt sorry after.
The kiss sealing unspoken words between them.
"Do you have time now?" Carina asked, wanting to take the time and eat with Maya
"Not much, I need to finish these reports but come sit, I want to know if it tastes as good as it smells." Maya answered, smiling slightly as she was looking down...
The Italian insisting that the blonde should warm the food up. So, while the blonde was in the beanery to also grab them two forks, Carina was alone in the captains office, looking around.
The shelves were very organized, every binder labeled, and files neatly sorted.
Then, something else caught her gaze. Framed, on one of her shelves...
Carina couldn't stop staring.
-
"Oh, running is kind of my thing, Olympics 2012. I won, on a sprained ankle."
It was the first thing they had talked about at Joes a little less than two weeks ago.
Carina was obviously impressed, the blonde smiling at her proudly. But before she could ask more questions, Maya was the one now wanting to get to know her better and she started talking about her traveling from Italy to the states.
-
London, 20212 was engraved in the medal. Carina now standing in front of the shelve, looking at it in awe.
"You like it?" Maya asked, Carina flinching slightly, not expecting Maya to be back already.
"It's so classy." Carina said, finally turning around to Maya as she said so.
Once again, the firefighter flashing her that small smile, proud but also as if winning the Olympics was something casual.
"Ready to eat?" Maya then asked, Putting the Tupperware on her office table.
Carina grabbing one fork as she sat back down again, still having a perfectly good view. Maya in her uniform, her tight ponytail, and behind her the golden shimmering medal Carina had just examined closely.
They had talked about her day, Maya venting about the shift she had. Carina listening closely. It was a short visit, before the captain excused herself, needing to finish her reports.
This was the first time Carina had seen a glimpse of Mayas time during the Olympics. Other than that, it was something Maya rarely talked about, her time at the SFD was something she was more willing to open up about.
The blonde kept a lot to herself, Carina noticed that quickly. It made her more curious, about all the things she wanted to get to know about her. Her childhood, her family, her dreams and goals.
They kept texting each other day after day and Carinas visits to the station becoming more and more frequent, Maya often picking the brunette up from Grey-Sloan. Them sharing their evenings and next morning’s together. Time together became more and more valuable for both of them, not just because they had an exceptional good time in bed, but also because they felt good in each other’s general presence.
Over time they talked a lot, Maya opened up to her girlfriend and Carina realized how much more complex, layered, and broken Maya seemed to be. But also, much more sensitive and loving.
They'd been together for a little over a year now, Mayas hair now a few inches shorter, both their lives a lot messier, but both in love with each other.
“I’m on my way bambina.” Carina said, her phone on her ear while she was walking out of the hospital, heading to Joes where she was meeting with Maya.
“Alright see you.” Maya said before she hangs up and nodded towards the bartender, ordering a gin tonic for both of them. Maya smiled to herself, she was happy to see Carina again, it always had been a special feeling somehow.
A few minutes later she heard the door open, she quickly turned around her smile widening as she saw that her girlfriend was finally here.
“Ciao Tesoro.” Carina said cheerfully as she reached the bar, quickly embracing the shorter women in a hug.
“Heey.” Maya greeted, her cheeks blushing as she felt Carinas lips on her cheek.
“I got you one too.” Maya said, pointing at the untouched drink next to her own.
“Thank you,” she said smiling.
“So, are you ready to have our little celebration?” Carina asked, as she sat down and pushed her stool closer to Mayas.
“I guess I am.” The firefighter said, laughing nervously.
It had been a month, a month since their reconciliation, since Maya and Carina had shared their first love declaration and then had a heart-to-heart conversation about everything that had happened, which resulted in Maya dialing Dr. Lewis’ number the same evening. Because when Maya had something in mind there was no stopping, so she hadn’t actually waited until the next morning but awakened the psychologist and made an appointment.
“Cheers, bambina, love you.” Carina said, raising her glass.
“I love you too, so much.” Maya said, mimicking her girlfriend.
New beginnings, new adventures, new memories.
It had gotten late and over time some of Carinas colleagues joined them, Carina in a conversation with Teddy and Amelia. Mayas attention was fully on eyeing the very good looking back of Carina in her black blouse she was wearing. It was a talent of hers to make the most basic pieces of clothing look absolutely stunning.
“Maya Bishop?” The blonde turned around, as she heard the unfamiliar name call her voice.
“Oh my god it really is you!” The woman exclaimed, looking at Maya her eyes widened.
Maya needed a few seconds before she realized who stood a few steps away from her.
“Hi, Hima.” Maya said, a bit overwhelmed to see the girl she hadn’t seen in years.
Her black hair in a messy bun, her eyes dark brown. Teenage Maya couldn’t resist them.
“Olympian Maya Bishop, huh?” She said raising an eyebrow.
“Haha, yeah.” Maya said laughing awkwardly.
“How’s life?” Hima asked, taking a seat next to Maya now, the blonds heart rate increasing, knowing that her Italian girlfriends would be looking after her at some point and she kind of dreaded what was coming. She knew tend to be very jealous and impulsive.
“Good.” Maya said, keeping her answers short. Hating to spill the beans to people she didn’t knew well.
“Oh, come on, tell me more. Still running?” The old friend asked, before she took a sip of her drink the bartender had just handed her.
“No, I mean yes, but not professionally anymore.” Maya said, taking a much bigger sip of her gin.
“Oh, why that?” She asked again, Maya trying to not get annoyed at how curious Hima seemed to be. And she really not wanted to talk about all of that right now, suddenly though she heard steps approaching, knowing that it was the sound of Carinas heels clattering.
She wasn’t sure if the situation was about to get better or worse now.
She turned around, seeing Carina approaching her, though her usual smile was not on her face this time.
“Hi bambina.” Carina said, slinging her arm around Mayas back, standing next to her.
“Hey,” Maya said, smiling coyly, though on the inside she was feeling proud that she had such an amazing girlfriend.
The two of them had a brief moment of intense eye contact before they got interrupted.
“I see, Maya Bishop has found someone.” Hima interjected.
“Si, and who are you?” Carina said, confidently, looking between Maya and Hima for answers.
“Hi, sorry, I’m Hima.” The woman said, a little quieter this time, obviously a bit intimidated by Carina Deluca. Maya understood that, she was too when she first saw the brunette in this exact bar.
“We know each other from track, we ran together in high school.” Maya said, searching for Carinas hand for reassurance.
“I understand.” Carina said, forcing a smile. It was clear that she was not that amused about the new acquaintance.
“She always was the best on the team.” Hima said, smiling to both of them. Carinas face softening a little, pride and love taking over her heart, the jealousy she felt fading away a tiny tiny bit.
“I came in second once though.” Maya said, looking down quickly.
“Yeah but considering that you ran back to check on me because I tripped. And at least three people ran past you during that, plus we were close to finish line.” Hima said, looking at Maya with admiration.
“Oh Maya, that’s huge.” Carina said, looking at Maya.
“It was, but still second.” Maya persisted.
“Everyone else would have come in at least ten positions behind.” Hima said laughing.
“Yeah, probably.” Maya said, letting out a laugh.
“So, what are you doing?” She then asked, hoping Carina wouldn’t shoot her a look, but she didn’t instead, she just patiently sat next to Maya, her grip around her body never loosening though.
“I’m just finished studying sports journalism and before I just worked here and there a bit, nothing in particular.” She told Maya, who slightly nodded as she listened.
“That seems interesting,” Maya said, taking another sip of her beverage.
“So, your dad still an idiotic trainer though?” Hima then asked, Mayas posture suddenly stiffening.
Carina taken aback by the sudden statement, looking at Maya who just stared at her.
It had only been a month since Maya had really started talking about her dad, and she mostly did that solely with her therapist so far. Letting Carina know how she was feeling about her sessions though. It was a hard and long road and every step in the right direction was a win, and Carina had learned not to push too much.
The few seconds before Mayas answer felt like an hour, “I guess.”
Carina discreetly put her hand on Mayas lap, the blonde suddenly standing up and aiming for the bathrooms.
“I’ll be right back.” She mumbled, giving Carina an apologetic look.
“I’m sorry, if…” Hima then began, before she paused when the Italian gave her a look that said it was better to stay silent.
Then, she quickly made her way to look after her girlfriend, entering the restrooms.
“Maya?” Carina called out, hoping Maya would choose to talk to her and not shut down.
A few seconds later, the door got opened, Maya coming out. Visibly swaying as the alcohol she drank finally affected her body.
The brunette quickly made her way over, linking arms with her girlfriend to steady her.
“Are you alright?” Carina asked, noticing Maya looked a lot more drunk suddenly.
“Can we go home, please? Maya asked, her voice raspy.
“Si, of course Bella.” Carina said, laying her hand on the blondes back for a few seconds before they made their way out.
“Do you want to say goodbye to her?” Carina asked, still wildly curious about the woman but keeping it to herself for now.
“I.. I yeah…” Maya stuttered as they made their way to the spot Hima was sitting.
“We’re heading out now.” Maya said, forcing a tight-lipped smile.
“Alright, and sorry if-“
“It’s fine, Maya said, smiling once again, clearly wanting to leave. Carina just quickly nodded a goodbye before she gave her undivided attention to Maya who clearly needed the support from her girlfriend.
The walk home took a bit longer but was still fairly quick, both women relieved when they stepped into comfortable surroundings again.
“Couch?” Carina just asked, and Maya nodded, following Carina in the living room.
The brunette got the electric fireplace turned on, before disappearing into the kitchen.
“Are you mad I left?” Maya asked, as she saw Carina leave the living room.
“Bella, no… I just wanted to grab you a glass of water, I’ll be right back.” Carina said.
She wasn’t mad, she was just a little jealous, her Italian heart beating a bit faster the whole time the other woman sat next to Maya. She saw the looks she gave Maya. And she just wanted to know the story behind it.
Talk it out and leave it behind. She just hoped it would clear the multiple questions she had in her mind.
Though, that could wait. Right now, she just wanted to make sure Maya would feel a little bit better.
One minute later, Maya was cuddled into Carinas side, sipping her water.
Carina knew she had to give Maya space, she learned it the hard way, after all.
They just stayed at the couch, Maya trying to sober up by occasionally sipping her water, the tv turned on for some comfortable background noise.
“What do you want to know?” Maya asked, thinking it was easier to ask questions than just start rambling about that part of her childhood.
“How old were you when you first met?” Carina asked, deciding to start simple.
She grabbed Mayas hand, pressing a kiss to her palm. She knew this was hard for Maya and she wanted to give her all the support.
“15, both of us.”
“Were you in love with her?” Carina then asked, finally wanting to get the answer she needed the most.
Maya smiled to herself shortly, before making eye contact with Carina.
“No, no… I wouldn’t… my dad wouldn’t even…”
“Oh Maya…” Carina answered when she realized what Maya was about to say.
“We kissed once.” Maya confessed, a small smile crossing over her face at the memory.
“How was it?” Carina asked, now eager to know the details. She always wanted to know the details. This was nothing new to Maya. It just felt weird to talk about a former, kind of, romantic interaction with her current girlfriend.
She rolled her eyes and smiled.
“Carina…” She whined, suddenly feeling a little more at ease with all of this than she had been. It was Carina just being herself, unfiltered and loving person she needed to feel safe to share these moments with her.
“She came to my place, we did schoolwork. Otherwise, she wasn’t allowed to come. It was the first time meeting her outside of training and at home. We only went to the movies like a week before. We were sitting on the floor, talking about homework. Then, she suddenly asked me about movies, celebrity crushes. I didn’t know any. It was embarrassing….” Maya told her, sighing.
“It was not bambina…”
“It was… She looked at me like I was an alien.“ Maya complained.
“I told her I had a crush… but that it wasn’t a celeb.” Maya said, clearly abashed thinking about this situation.
And then, Carina started giggling, looking at her Maya with the most adorable face.
“I bet you were so cute, Maya Bishop.” Carina said, quickly kissing her reddened cheek.
“Ugh, stop it Carina. It was such a mess…”
“Probably, but every first time. Even for me.” Carina said, laughing.
“I don’t believe you.” Maya argued, looking at Carina with serious eyes. “You’re queen of orgasm, there can’t go anything wrong.” She said smiling.
“I was also a young girl. Not shy. But young sometimes careless and unexperienced.” Carina told her with a smile.
“But, keep going, what happened afterwards?” Carina pried.
“A kiss.” Maya said, staring at the cushion next to her.
“And then?”
“We finished our homework, she had to leave soon.” Maya explained.
“Were you sad?”
“It was a tiny amount of time where I was allowed of being carefree. My dad not checking on me all the time. I could laugh, even if I had to keep the volume down. And I finally felt like being true to myself. I always watched the other girls prep for races; you know.” Maya said.
“I understand.” Carina said, pulling Maya closer to her again.
“Well, she left and never really came back, my dad being by my side for the races almost all the time. There was no chance to talk to her. She tried once, but I didn’t have the guts to say something while my dad was standing beside me…”
“That’s sad.”
“She was the only real friend I had growing up; I had many earlier. I mean, they all somehow admired me. I was fastest, you know. But my dad all scared them away once I was even allowed to hang out with them on birthdays and stuff. Hima somehow was just… sticking around I guess…”
“Okay.” Carina hummed, waiting for Maya to continue.
“She often asked about my dad, even back then… Why he did what he did and stuff.”
“How did you feel about this?” Carina asked, gently taking Mayas hand in hers, the blonde immediately interlacing their fingers.
“I don’t know… In hindsight I just feel dumb that I had always defended him, I would never believe anyone who implied anything bad towards him.”
“That’s often the case. I needed long to realize that too. Do you remember what I told you that day? The human brain is brilliant, and it is devious and it walls off what it doesn’t wanna know. You were trying to protect yourself, Bella. Until there was the point you realized and know you’re learning how to deal with all this. And I’m so proud of the work you’re putting into your mental health.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you, Carina. I always knew I loved you; you know. I just did feel like I didn’t deserve it. But I am so glad you’re still here with me after all of this, I am truly so thankful.” Maya said, her voice slightly wavering.
“Oh bambina, you’re gonna make me emotional.” Carina said.
“I didn’t want that…” Maya said, looking at Carinas glazed eyes, feeling her own eyes watering but ignoring it as usual, just smiling at her girlfriend.
”I just love you so much, you know.” Carina explained.
“I love you too.” Maya said, leaning in to kiss Carina gently, their breaths smelling like alcohol mixing together like every so often when they came home from Joes and ended up on that couch.
“Your hair grew.” Carina said, when they pulled apart. Her hand wrapped around Mayas neck and hidden in her hair.
“That’s nice.” Maya said, feeling her own hair strands slowly starting to almost reach half of her neck again.
“I don’t want to have them this long again though, I think.” She quickly added.
“I like shorter hair, you look sexier.”
“I love your long hair.” Maya said, running her fingers through the thick brown locks.
“Oh I know you do.”
“We still need to finish our celebrating.” Maya husked, her lips close to Carinas ear, wanting to finally see the things underneath the pretty clothing.
“Mhm…” She hummed, smiling.
“Wanna take this off?” Maya asked, quietly, her fingers hovering over the buttons of the blouse.
“Only for you.” Carina said, opening the buttons slowly.
“My girl.” Maya cheekily said,
“Only mine.” Carina said, smiling and then laughing after Maya pulling the now loose blouse over Carinas head, pushing her back down once she was only in her bra and pants.