Semantics of Free Will

By the following afternoon, Bea was beyond worried about the two rookie sister warriors. She refused to talk with anyone and threw herself fiercely into her training. The nuns gave her a wide berth and stayed out of the training room that she occupied. Only Ava was willing to approach her.

“You’re going to reinjure yourself if you’re not careful,” said the Warrior Nun lightly as she sat on an exercise bench, watching the other woman terrorize a sparring dummy. Bea did not acknowledge that she heard anything. Ava gave her another minute.

“Don’t hurt the dummy,” she called. “It doesn’t deserve this.” Still the other woman did not respond. Ava got up and walked around behind the dummy directly into Bea’s line of sight but the sister warrior’s focus was so intense that Ava wasn’t sure that her girlfriend registered her presence. She watched for another minute and as Bea’s sequence pulled her away from the sparring dummy, she walked forward phasing right through it.

“What the..!” Bea shouted as she pulled up on what Ava was sure would have been a vicious punch. “Dammit Ava!” She leaned forward a bit and put a hand to her chest. “I almost laid you out!”

“I knew you could pull back,” said Ava confidently, hands held loosely behind her back.

“What are you doing here?” Bea asked as she wiped the sweat from her face with a small towel.

“Checking on you,” she said simply. “Making sure you’re alright. Trying to convince you to stop frightening the villagers.”

Bea gave her an exasperated look. “I’m not as bad as all that.”

“Sure,” agreed Ava with an air of nonchalance, “that’s why you’ve had the room to yourself all day.”

“I’m just worried.” She sighed. “I sent them away by themselves, without any way of contacting us, without any way of asking for help!” She looked over at Ava with tears in her eyes. “What if they weren’t ready? What if something happened?”

Ava’s heart broke a little for her girlfriend. “Was it the right decision?” she asked.

“I don’t know! That’s the problem. I’m not sure anymore!”

“At the time,” Ava clarified quietly, “was it the right decision at the time?”

Bea took a deep shuddering breath. “Yes,” she whispered.

“Then you did all you could,” the Halo Bearer assured her. “I know I don’t need to remind you of the situation. There wasn’t time for anything else.” Bea nodded. “Eileen and Rosemary are good. I know they’ll be fine,” she added.

“How?” asked Bea quietly.

Ava smiled at her. Her first genuine smile since they got back to Cat’s Cradle. “I have faith.” Bea looked up quickly and smiled back. Ava cleared her throat. “I would hug you but, well, I’m nice and clean and you’re really all kinds of gross right now.”

Bea scoffed, pretending to be offended. Then she suddenly grabbed Ava by the arm and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Ahh!” screamed Ava. “You’re so sweaty! Let me go! Let me go!” She phased out of the older woman’s embrace, both of them laughing together. Dark chocolate met amber as Ava gazed into Bea’s eyes. In that moment, Ava could feel her tension melt away. She was still—frustrated? Angry? —she wasn’t sure. But it felt good to comfort her lover again. It was a nice reminder that they could and would get through anything together. “Everything will be alright,” she said.

They were outside together to greet Dora, Yasmine and the final group of sister warriors returning from Italy. “Look who we found on the way!” Dora shouted with excitement as she leaned out her window. The rear door behind her slid open to reveal Eileen and Rosemary. Both rookies smiled and waved.

“We brought back the divinium!” shouted Eileen. Bea felt Ava’s arm wrap around her waist pulling her close.

“Told you so,” Ava whispered to her. She smiled at the Warrior Nun as relief instantly flooded through her body and they made their way over to the other women.

“You made it!” said Bea and she pulled Eileen into an embrace as Ava hugged Rosemary. They switched before the sister warrior and Warrior Nun drew the two rookies away from the group. “What happened?” asked Bea. “I was expecting you back days ago.”

“Nothing really happened,” said Eileen. “We were holed up in Rome for two days. Then he brought us to Civitavecchia and put us on a boat.” She gave Beatrice a look. “He’s—an interesting guy.”

“What do you mean?” asked Bea.

“Well I’m pretty sure he’s—he works for…” Eileen trailed off.

“Yes, Eileen,” said Rosemary, smirking and yet still looking slightly annoyed, as if they had already had this conversation multiple times. “He’s with the mafia.” Ava looked over at Bea with interest and amusement written all over her face.

“The mafia?” she asked with a grin. The older woman ignored her.

“How else did you think you were going to get stolen valuables out of Italy?” asked Bea.

“We figured that out,” responded Eileen, looking a little embarrassed. “I—just wish I knew beforehand.”

Ava tried to cover her snort of laughter as Bea closed her eyes and brought a hand to her face. “What did you do?”

“She threatened him,” said Rosemary trying not to laugh, “with you.” Bea stood staring at the girls with her mouth hanging open. Ava wasn’t even trying to hide her grin.

“Wow,” she said. “You two are fitting in perfectly.”

Bea took a deep calming breath. “And what did he say?”

“Just that this one was on him and to tell you that you’re even,” Eileen replied meekly.

The sister warrior nodded. “At least I don’t have to smooth things over with the Italian Mafia.”

“Not that you could anyways,” reminded Ava, “since you aren’t allowed in Italy anymore.”

Bea gave Ava an ironic smile. “Thanks darling,” she said, sarcasm dripping from every word. “I had forgotten about that.” Ava laughed as they took in the shocked and confused looks on the two nuns’ faces.

“Oh you two missed a lot!”

Dinner that evening was a loud and jovial affair. Just like when Beatrice was delivered to the safe house, the sister warriors of the OCS had something to celebrate. The mission was now officially a success with the return of rest of the sisters and the two stray rookies they picked up along the way, not to mention the divinium they aquired.

“Ladies!” said Ava to the dining room at large as she stood at her table. She looked around the room as the murmurs died down. She was sitting at her usual table with Bea next to her. Camila, Dora and Yasmine were also there, as were Eileen and Rosemary for the first time. The rest of the nuns were in their usual groupings but instead of being scattered across the dining hall, each group stayed in close forming a tight-knit web in the center of the room. Ava noticed Mother Superion and Father Vincent watching from the doorway.

She paused for a moment, losing a little of her confidence as all the eyes in the room were on her. “Wow, I should have thought this through.”

Quiet laughter rippled throughout the room. “Congratulations on a successful mission!” Camila whooped, leading to a round of cheers. Ava waited for it to calm down. “It may not have been as smooth as we had hoped. But you all adjusted really well and kicked some major FBC ass.” Another round of noise interrupted her. “I’m proud of you—all of you,” she said quietly as she looked around the room, “and I’m proud to be one of you.” She cleared her throat as she raised her water glass. “Um—cheers!”

Bea took her hand and kissed her on the cheek as she sat back down. “That was very nice darling, if not a little unorthodox.”

“What do you mean?” asked Ava.

“Typically the Warrior Nun doesn’t lead post-mission celebrations,” said Camila. “We do our jobs and then move on. Not that it’s not allowed!” Camila continued at the look on Ava’s face. “It’s just never really been a thing before.”

“Since when has Ava been tied to tradition?” Dora joked.

Bea put an arm around her girlfriend and smiled. “It was lovely, darling. And honestly I think the OCS could benefit from more celebrations like this.” Ava saw her share a look with Dora. “After all no one else cares that we’re the only ones fighting to save the world, we may as well take at least a little pride in it ourselves.”

“Thanks, Beebs.”

Bea sat quietly as she listened to Yasmine regale the table with her story of the FBC chasing their truck. She, Dora and Camila had spent most of the last hour making the rookies laugh with their tales from Italy with most of the jokes coming at Bea’s expense. But she didn’t mind—nothing they could say could ruin her mood tonight, not now that the girls she had put in jeopardy had returned safely with their charge. Ava had gotten up to visit with the other sisters and Bea was struck again by how easily she worked the room. Bright smiles and playful banter followed her all around. She was so distracted by the young woman that she—almost—didn’t notice Mother Superion take the seat next to her.

“That girl is going to change the way everything is done around here,” said the older woman.

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing,” replied Bea, her eyes still on Ava.

“No, it’s not,” agreed Mother Superion. “With everything that has happened to the church after Adriel, the OCS has had to start finding its own way. I believe she will only have a positive influence on that.”

Bea chuckled as she turned to the matriarch. “Would you have said that all those months ago when you first met her?”

Mother Superion shook her head and laughed. “Definitely not. She’s come a long way. Just look at the way they respond to her.”

“Even a group of disciplined, dedicated, God-fearing nuns is no match for Ava,” agreed Bea. “Who would have guessed?”

Mother Superion looked at Bea seriously. “You were no match for her. We should have known then.”

Dinner was going late into the night when Ava felt Bea grab her hand and lead her out of the dining hall and into the cool night air.

“What’s going on?” Ava asked, smiling at her girlfriend. “Are we gonna make out?”

“No,” replied Bea rolling her eyes. “Mother Superion is still inside.” Ava giggled quietly in response. “I just wanted to talk to you and it was getting a little loud in there.” Ava watched her expectantly. Bea was worrying her bottom lip and running her thumbs between her fingers. She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it several times.

“Bea?” asked Ava, feeling a little concerned. “Are you okay?”

The sister warrior looked down at her feet and then up and into Ava’s eyes, a small smile upon her lips. “I just wanted to say thank you.”

Ava waited for more with a smile but Bea didn’t speak. “Well, you’re welcome,” she said, a little confused, “but I’m not sure for what.”

Bea chuckled softly before she continued. “For everything,” she said. “For being you and for coming into my life. You’ve been there for me from the very beginning.”

“Beebs,” Ava responded affectionately, “we’ve been there for each other. That’s what we do, right?”

“Yes,” the other woman agreed with a smile. “But lately, particularly since Vincent told us about the divinium, I’ve come to realize just how much more I’ve been able to rely on you—for support, for your trust,” she smiled a little brighter, “for breaking me out of jail when I need it.” They laughed together quietly. “You understand me in a way that no one else ever has, and certainly in a way that I never thought I would allow. You're the only person in this world that makes me feel like—me. So,” she took a deep breath, “thank you.”

“Wow, Bea…” Ava wasn’t sure what she to say. Bea was the only person that could ever make her speechless. It had only been a few hours since she had comforted her girlfriend in the training room and had started questioning her feelings about Bea hiding the truth from her. But after an admission like that?

“…If our time in this life is limited, then I don’t intend to waste it being angry and doubting you.”

Ava smiled. Contrary to popular belief, she could be patient. She could live in the moment with the amazing woman in front of her. The rest would play out and she could deal with it then.

“I love you, Bea.” Like always, it didn’t seem enough. But the kiss that Beatrice gave her upon hearing those words was pure fire that burned that thought away.

As a few days passed by, life at Cat’s Cradle slowly returned to normal. The sisters of the OCS resumed their routines. Camila spent most of her time with a team of nuns sweeping the entire building for bugs. Ava and Beatrice had resumed training together and generally not leaving each other’s side. They were outside together in the mid-day sun when they spotted a lone dark figure in the distance walking up the road towards Cat’s Cradle. Bea’s eyes went wide as she realized who it must be.

“Lilith,” she whispered.

“What?” Ava turned to look and Bea put a firm hand on the younger woman’s shoulder. “You don’t need to stop me, Bea. I’m guessing she’s here to report what’s she’s found?” She looked back at the sister warrior.

Bea’s eyes went wide. “How did you…”

“I figured it out,” interrupted Ava.

“Oh,” said Bea, feeling nonplussed. “Well, that’s good I suppose.”

“Hmm,” Ava grunted in response, looking back at the demon warrior walking slowly towards them. “I suppose we should go greet her.”

Bea looked around them and seeing Rosemary in the distance called her over. “Go straight to Mother Superion and tell her Lilith is coming up the road. Run, don’t walk.” She turned to Ava. “Shall we?”

Ava thought she should feel more nervous about seeing Lilith again. After all, she couldn’t remember the last time they saw each other and weren’t fighting to the death.

Well, I suppose she wasn’t trying to kill me last time.

The three women all stopped walking when they were about five meters apart. “You told her?” asked Lilith, eying Ava warily.

“No,” Ava responded before Bea could answer. “I figured it out on my own.”

Lilith raised her eyebrows. “I don’t know if I should be impressed or shocked.”

“Lilith,” Bea warned with a harsh voice.

Lilith looked at the sister warrior and then back at Ava. To Ava’s surprise, she looked mildly ashamed. “Sorry,” replied the former nun. “Old habits and all of that.”

Ava took a deep breath and walked towards the other woman, leaving Bea standing alone. The tension in the air was palpable. Ava stopped within arm’s reach of Lilith and the two women, for a moment, glared at each other until the demon woman dropped her gaze. Lilith sighed. “How’s your arm?” she asked.

“Healed,” said Ava simply. “I assume you are as well?” Lilith nodded and Ava nodded back. “Good. I’m sorry I tried to cut you in half with the Halo.”

Lilith nodded again. “I really am impressed that you are able to remove it and use it.” She looked Ava in the eye. “Perhaps it did choose correctly after all.” Then she smiled at the Warrior Nun. “I’m really glad you’re not dead anymore.” Ava thought back fondly to the only pleasant interaction she ever had with the other woman. She smiled back.

“You too.”

Mother Superion, Camila, Dora, Yasmine and Father Vincent all ran up to the three women, wide-eyed shock plainly written on all of their faces.

“Lilith!” whispered Camila. She and Dora immediately adopted defensive stances.

“Wait!” yelled Bea urgently, as she and Ava both stepped in between them and Lilith.

“Beatrice,” said Mother Superion, not taking her eyes off Lilith. “Explain.”

“Lilith has been spying on the FBC,” Bea replied. “She warned me about their plan in Italy.”

“Lilith?” Mother Superion still had not taken her eyes off of the demon woman.

The tall woman looked down awkwardly before bringing her gaze back to meet the matriarch. “Hello Mother,” she said quietly.

“I can vouch for her, Mother Superion,” continued Bea. “She saved the mission and probably our lives.”

“And she already saved mine,” put in Ava. Bea gave her a grateful smile.

Mother Superion walked up to Lilith.

“The prodigal daughter returns?” asked Father Vincent. Lilith looked down at her feet again.

“Lilith,” said Mother Superion. She placed her hand on the smooth, human-side of Lilith’s face and lifted it to look her in the eyes. “Have you come back to us?”

Lilith’s eyes flitted around from face to face until they settled back on the older woman. “Yes Mother,” she answered in a whisper. Ava was surprised to see a tear running down her cheek.

Mother Superion stared at her for a moment then smiled at her, her own tears falling gently down her face. “Welcome home, child.”