Falling
Loki found himself woken the next morning by Ash, way before her alarm was due to go off, flinging the covers over him and all but tumbling out of bed. His brain took a moment to register what was happening as he rolled over and by the time he had pushed himself upright in bed, she had already darted through the door and into the bathroom.
“Ash?” Loki frowned, trying to make sense of it all as he pushed the covers off himself and staggered to his feet, still half asleep in the darkness of early morning. He had no idea what could have caused her to suddenly bolt out of bed before the sun was even up...unless she was ill.
Pulling himself together, he made for the bathroom. The door was shut and he was about to open it when it occurred to him that he had promised to respect her privacy and not burst in on her in the bathroom for anything, so he stopped himself just in time and knocked on the door instead. “Ash? Are you alright?”
“No, I don’t think I am.” He heard the sound of water running and then paper tearing before she called out “It’s ok; you can come in.”
Bracing himself for whatever he might find, Loki opened the door. She looked terrible, pale, her eyes watery, her hair mussed and she was shaking, almost shuddering, violently. He quickly walked up to her and placed both hands on her arms, looking her over for any signs of...well, anything bad. “What happened?” he asked.
Ash shivered as she tossed the scrap of loo roll she had just wiped her mouth on into the bin, but managed a weak, brave smile even so as she looked up at him. “I just suddenly had to be sick. I feel terrible.” She put a hand to her forehead. “Achy. I think I’ve got that bug that was going around the office a while back.”
Loki frowned at her. “Bug?”
Ash made a sound that sounded like a feeble giggle and shook her head against her hand. “Not “bug” like an insect, not that kind of bug. I mean a virus, an illness,” she added, when he looked even more confused.
“Do you need to see a healer?”
“No, that won’t do any good. There’s no cure. I’ve just got to wait it out. It’s alright,” she added as he stared at her in alarm. “It’s not fatal; it’s just like having a cold or flu. It’ll be gone by tomorrow, hopefully.”
She was still shivering, Loki noted. “Come back to bed,” he murmured, leading her out of the bathroom. Ash didn’t argue, she simply ran her hand through her hair with a sigh and a mutter of something that sounded vaguely like “I hate being ill,” as she clambered onto the bed, provoking a smile from him. He helped her settle herself and then reached over to flip off her alarm, as he had seen her do so many times in the morning.
Ash frowned at him. “What the hell are you doing?”
Loki blinked at her. “Well, you can’t go to work in your state.”
“Oh, I know that; I was going to phone in sick, but I still have a pile of stuff left over from yesterday that I couldn’t be bothered to finish.”
Loki sat down beside her and shook his head. “No.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ash, look at yourself.” Loki picked up her arm to show her. “You’re shaking all over,” he laid a hand on her forehead, “you’re freezing cold and clammy, and you’ve just been sick. You’re going nowhere.”
She raised an eyebrow. “I thought you’d stopped ordering me around?”
He was surprised how much her jibe hurt, but he didn’t rise to the bait. “It’s for your own good,” he said, dropping her arm back onto the covers.
“I’m not made of glass, Loki.”
“Look, if I have to tie you to the bedpost, I will. I can do that pretty easily with magic.”
Ash sighed, dramatically. “Fine,” she muttered, flopping back on her pillow.
“You’ll stay in bed?”
Ash nodded. “Why do you have to be right all the time?” she mumbled, bringing her knees up to her chest as she cuddled up in a ball.
Loki smiled, feeling her forehead. Now her temperature was fluxing between freezing cold and overly warm at an alarming pace. At his touch she closed her eyes, and he suddenly felt the need to take care of her, protect her, do anything he could to make this illness easier for her. “Do you need anything?” he asked, surprised by the gentleness of his own voice.
“Just a glass of water would be nice,” Ash murmured.
“Anything to eat?”
“No. Thanks, but I won’t be able to keep it down.” Her eyes flew open suddenly and she sat up. “Actually, do you think you could get me some tissues and the washing up bowl, please?”
Loki snapped his fingers, conjuring them into the room for her, the bowl landing conveniently on her knees. She shot him a grateful look with her eyes for that as he summoned her a glass of cold water, and then glanced at him, expectantly. He frowned. “What?”
“Well, I’m not going to throw up in front of you. You’re the last person in the world who deserves to see me being sick.”
Somehow Loki doubted that was true, but he didn’t say anything about it. “It’s not like it’s anything I haven’t seen before,” he said, truthfully.
Ash shook her head at him and then pointedly turned away to empty the contents of her stomach in the bowl. Loki quickly brushed her hair back from her face, making sure that all the stray strands remained relatively vomit-free, and then, seeing the way her shoulders shuddered with the motion, placed a hand between her shoulder blades and rubbed her back, gently. She exhaled with another shudder, breathing deeply, and then looked up at him, apologetically. “Can...can you catch this from me?”
Loki offered her a reassuring smile. “No; I think you’ll find I’m immune to your little Midgard diseases.”
“Of course you are,” Ash murmured, managing a feeble smile. “I was forgetting you’re a God.”
One day, Loki thought, he would probably contradict her about that assumption, tell her the truth, as Odin had once done to him and Thor in their youth. But that could wait for another time. For now he was perfectly content, happy even, to let her think him a God. With a quick snap of his fingers, he cleaned out the bowl for her. Ash blinked at him. “Where did that go?”
“Trust me,” Loki smirked. “You don’t want to know.”
Ash shook her head again and reached for her water. She took a large gulp of the stuff and then leaned back against her pillow, cradling the glass between her hands. “Sorry I woke you.”
Loki shrugged. “I’m glad you did.”
“Why; were you in the middle of a nightmare?” she teased, and then had the decency to look humbled just in case she was right.
Loki chuckled, softly. “No, I mean I’d rather know that you were ill so I can help you through it. I’m glad you trust me enough not to try and hide it from me.”
“Well, you are surprisingly easy to trust,” Ash murmured, placing her glass back on the table beside the bed and curling up again. “Small wonder you’re the God of Mischief.” She gave a small yawn and butted her head against the pillow, her eyes drifting shut. “Suppose I should try and get some sleep.”
Resisting the sudden urge to kiss her forehead, Loki took the bowl off the bed and placed it on the floor. “Tell me if you need anything else,” he said.
Ash nodded and then her breathing levelled out as she began to drift to sleep again. Loki settled himself beside her, lying on top the covers rather than under them to give her space, even though he was now fully awake. He just wanted to be close to her. A small part of him was worried about her, even though she had assured him that it wasn’t anything to worry about. Was this, he wondered, idly, what Odin and Frigga had sometimes gone through whenever he and Thor used to get ill; whether, in spite of all the reassurance from the healers, just a tiny part of them worried that their children wouldn’t be quite right again afterwards. The rest of him just wanted to make her feel better, and that feeling was strange, unfamiliar to him, and yet, not entirely unwanted. In his entire life, he realised, he had always been the one to rely on other people, but now he felt needed, for the first time.
It’s just because she’s your friend, he told himself. Albeit, she was the most beautiful thing he had seen since the last time he had stood on the Bifrost Bridge looking over the constellations of the Nine Realms, but surely even the Warriors Three worried about each other like that? And, he stifled a laugh at the thought, he was certain that none of them felt attracted to one another, even if Volstagg and Fandral did argue like an old married couple some days.
He must have slept, because the next thing he was aware of was being roused by a violent spasm of coughing. Sitting up, he saw Ash shuddering over the bowl and in an instant he was at her side, rubbing her back and stroking her hair until she finally turned to him with apologetic eyes. “I was trying to be quiet,” she murmured.
“It’s alright.” Loki felt her forehead again. She was only a bit warm now, so he took that as a good sign. “ Are you feeling any better?”
“Not yet,” Ash replied, her body shivering again under his hands as she reached for a tissue and her water. “How long have I been asleep for?”
Loki glanced over at the clock. “About three hours.”
“Mm!” Ash groaned, rubbing her eyes. “Suppose I’d better call in soon, tell them I’m sick, and then pray someone doesn’t turn up tonight with an extra big workload for me to finish by tomorrow.”
“If that happens, I’ll turn them into a snail.”
“You can really do that?”
“I could do, if I chose; but I was referring to what you said that day we played in the park.”
“Oh.” Ash giggled, her voice sounding a little stronger than it had a few minutes ago. “Well, thanks the offer but I wouldn’t advise it. It would raise some questions.”
“Have it your way, then,” Loki teased back, swinging his legs off the bed. “Can I get you anything from the kitchen?”
“Mm.” Ash looked like she was about to refuse and then her stomach gave a low rumble. Loki just managed to keep himself from laughing as she looked up at him, sheepishly. “I shouldn’t, but...maybe some toast? With nothing on it? And some more water, please?”
Of course he could summon them by magic, but if he was leaving the bedroom anyway, it made more sense to bring them to her, so Loki took the glass from her hand, offered her one last small smile and then made his way into the kitchen. He was grateful that she hadn’t asked for anything more complicated than water to drink; for even though he observed her in the kitchen from time to time he hadn’t attempted to make any of those hot beverages she had introduced him to for himself just yet. She had, though, taught him how the toaster worked, and he knew by now that she liked her toast browned but not burned black, and usually with butter spread all around, right to the corners.
Popping two slices of bread into the contraption, he leaned against the counter, eying the array of fruits she had bought for them at the weekend and recalling how she had introduced him to the ones unavailable on Asgard. Like cherries. Absently he plucked one from the bowl, allowing the soft, sweet taste to wash over his tongue and his eyes closed, automatically and recalling how he had panicked at almost swallowing a stone by accident and how Ash had laughed, gently, and reassured him that nothing bad would happen to him if he had done.
Not for the first time he could see exactly why his brother had been all prepared to swap Asgard for Midgard for the rest of his life. The place had so many wonders that Asgard couldn’t hold a candle to.
Like Ash.
It was safe to say that she was quite unlike any woman he had ever met before in his life, not that he had met that many, bar a few maids he had bedded, and even then, even if you counted Sif and Frigga, it still amounted to a small number compared to the amount Thor had been with. Sif might be a great warrior, yes, with a similar amount of feistiness in her veins as Ash, but she didn’t quite know when to settle, when to stop being the warrior. Frigga was kind and protective, but she needed to be; after all she was his mother. But Ash’s courage, Ash’s kindness, both touched him in a different way, both set strange feelings stirring with him, feelings he had never known could exist before.
He was roused suddenly as the toast popped out of the toaster. Shaking away any forbidden thoughts from his mind, he pulled the slices of hot bread onto a plate, poured more water into the glass and then carried both into the bedroom. Ash was still curled up in a ball but she sat up, smoothing her hair back into place, as he came in and quickly took the glass from him.
“Thanks,” she smiled, taking a long gulp of water. Loki handed her the plate and cleaned the bowl for her before sitting beside her on the bed.
“Do you want anything else?” he asked. “A book or something?”
“Well...you could bring me my paperwork,” Ash said, innocently.
“Ash!”
“What? I might as well do as much of it as I can. I’ve got to hand it in tomorrow.”
Loki rolled his eyes. “I can do it for you, you know.”
“I know, but if I’m not allowed to get out of bed, it’ll keep me from being bored at least,” she returned, taking a careful bite of her toast.
With another burst of magic, Loki summoned it all for her, along with the book she’d been reading recently and then got to his feet. “Just yell if you need anything,” he said, squeezing her hand.
“Well, I’ll try not to yell too loudly, or Mr Lewis will have us both kicked out,” Ash smiled, weakly.
Loki laughed and then left her to it, busying himself with the books she had brought him on her last trip to the library. He was still only halfway through the enormous collection of Shakespeare plays she had found for him, so he reclined on the sofa with that for most of the day, keeping an ear out for Ash calling him. She did only a few times to request some more water, and each time Loki also cleaned the bowl out for her with magic and checked on her temperature. Soon, however, her bouts of sickness became less frequent and as evening finally rolled around, Loki decided to check on her, since she hadn’t called out for him in a while. She was snuggled down in bed, with her book, surrounded by her paperwork, and, to his surprise, the bowl was empty.
“Hi,” she smiled up at him.
Automatically Loki found himself tidying her papers for her. “Have you stoped being sick, do you think?”
“Probably. It’s been a few hours.”
“Do you want some more water?”
“No, thanks. I’m going to try and get some sleep.” She offered him a small smile. “Sorry you’re having to put up with this.”
“I don’t mind.” And he didn’t mind, not in the slightest, if it meant he could make her feel better. As she set her book aside, and settled herself to sleep, he pulled the blanket up around her shoulders and, once again restraining himself from kissing her, murmured “Sleep well,” before he left her to it.
He was surprised half an hour later, however, as he sat engrossed in another of Shakespeare’s tragedies, when the living room door opened and she shuffled in, holding her dressing gown wrapped around her lower half like a blanket.
“Can’t sleep,” she murmured, sitting down beside him as he shuffled up to make room for her. “What are you reading?”
Loki held up the book. “Coriolanus.”
“Oh.” She smiled. “Never seen that one; or read it. Any good?”
“Brilliant.” Loki glanced at her and smiled. Though she still looked tired, she seemed to have got some of her colour back and her voice sounded almost normal now. Ash rubbed her eyes and leaned back against the sofa cushions, looking for all the world like a sleeping angel.
An idea struck him. Putting his feet back up on the sofa, he moved over to one side of it and held out an arm to her. “Come here.”
Ash glanced at him and for a second he thought she was going to ask him why. But instead, she calmly crawled over to lie beside him, her eyes drifting shut as he began to caress her head, stroking her hair gently, soothingly.
“Loki?” she murmured, presently.
“Yes, Ash?”
“Thank you. Thanks for taking care of me today. You’re a good friend.”
Loki felt his heart jump at that and he shook his head, the play he was reading forgotten. “Not as good as you. I mean, you’ve...you’ve done a lot for me, without me even having to ask you for it. You’ve got a good heart...I’ve never met anyone as kind and...fiery...and clever, and fun, as you...before and I-” He stopped, realising that he was pouring his thoughts, his feelings, into words, and that he knew exactly what the inevitable end of that sentence would be...what it had been for quite some time now.
“Ash, I think I’m falling for you.”
No response.
Loki glanced over at her and sighed, realising that Ash had fallen sound asleep next to him, and that she probably hadn’t heard a word of what he’d been saying beyond “You’ve done a lot for me.”
This time, however, he didn’t restrain himself from pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.