Flatmates
“Ash?”
Ash jumped and spun around, but it was only the librarian. The place had fallen so quiet that she had forgotten anyone else would still be in here, although, as she looked around the room, she realised that they were now the only two people left and that the lights had been dimmed.
“We’re closing,” he informed her, kindly.
“Oh.” Ash sighed and shoved the book she had been looking at the back of back onto its respective shelf, a feeling of dread writhing in the pit of her stomach. “Ok, thanks for letting me know.”
“I know,” he replied, falling into step beside her as she made for the door. “I wish this place could be open longer hours too.”
“If it was, I’d stay here all night,” Ash replied, rubbing her eyes.
The librarian glanced at her. “Is everything alright at home, Ash? You look like you had a late one last night.”
Ash took a deep breath. “Well, I sort of have this new flatmate...that is, a friend-acquaintance-crashing at mine at the minute and...well...sometimes it’s just hard to get to sleep with another person in the house. Hopefully it won’t be for much longer, though,” she added, quickly, not wanting the old man to fuss. He was, after all, the closest thing she had to a friend, unless you counted Mark, although he was more of a colleague than someone she could confide in.
“Well, as long as you’re sure that’s all it is,” he replied, before seeing her out.
Stepping out into the streets she knew so well by now, Ash sighed to herself. So far, Loki had been in her life, and in her flat, a week and living with him wasn’t getting any easier. She couldn’t believe that she was being treated like a servant in her own home, and all because the threats of being hurt, broken even, were hanging over her like a black cloud all the time. If Loki wanted her to do something, he would “Command” it of her, and any time she protested or spoke back, he threatened her until she apologised, or worse, begged him to stop. Sometimes the threats came with a physical warning; a quick seizing of the hair, a hefty pin to the wall and more lately the iron grip that left bruises across the back of her neck, her wrists and sometimes her shoulders.
Even sharing a bed with him was bad, for although he stayed true to his word and didn’t take advantage of her in her sleep, he would often stroke her hair in an almost possessive manner and the thoughts of spending the next day and the next and the next and so on with him filled her with such dread that she had trouble sleeping. The circles under her eyes were becoming so dark that it was taking extra foundation to cover them, and once or twice she swore blind that people at work were beginning to look at her with worry, clearly wondering whether she was being abused.
Most days she could cope, as long as she did what he asked and held her tongue, but even then, if she was too quiet, he would demand her to do so. Sometimes he even provoked her into lashing out at him temper, whether he was aware he was doing so or not, and that then would be followed by the threats and the pain. He hadn’t removed her clothes again since that first time, but every time she clambered onto the bed beside him, she worried that she might wake up naked, which only added to her stress.
Today things had really come to a head; the way he had used his tricks to torment her so much that she had run from the flat. He had taken to doing this lately, and each time resulted in her fleeing the building for a few hours, taking a walk about the city at night before her feet finally, reluctantly, dragged her back to it. Tonight, however, she had been out in the city for a very long time, at least several hours, trying to stay away from the flat for as long as was possible, but now instinct told her that she had to go home. It was that or risk getting mugged, attacked or raped in the small hours, so she turned in the familiar direction of her street and set off, praying that he wouldn’t be too angry at her absence. The night before he had been rather tetchy about it, and she knew that he had been paranoid about her attempting to run away from him, in spite of his threats against her life. Tonight would probably be even worse.
To her surprise, however, when she got in, the place was silent. Too silent. Preparing herself, she walked into the kitchen. It was empty, as was the living room. The bathroom door was wide open, so that ruled out anyone being in there. Crossing her fingers and praying that he might just have taken the hint this time and left, she pushed open her bedroom door, tentatively.
No such luck.
“Where the Hel have you been?” Loki asked from the bed. His voice was oddly calm, although she could sense the anger there, as well as see it in his eyes.
Trying not to feel afraid, she shrugged, nonchalantly. “Just out.”
“Where?” His voice was tight now with irritation.
“What does that matter?” Ash couldn’t help responding with. “Why are you so concerned?”
“Concerned?” Loki sat up abruptly and all but glared at her. “Why in the Nine Realms should I give a damn about what happens to you?”
“Well, something’s got you like this!” Ash snapped, forgetting who she was talking to. “You know, you’re not my keeper! You can’t just keep me locked up in this place all day just because you feel like it!”
She turned to leave the room, only to be brought up short by Loki standing behind her. “You have no idea what I’m capable of!” he snapped back at her, and then she felt him again, behind her, seizing the back of her neck again, his fingers biting into her flesh as he pulled her head back. “Or do you forget that I could break every single one of your bones right here and now with no effort at all?” he hissed into her ear. Ash squirmed but his grip was too tight and fighting only made it worse. “It would be surprisingly easy, pet.”
“I’m not your pet,” Ash hissed, and then she felt him loosen his grip slightly. Taking her chance, she stumbled out of his reach and spun to face him. “You’re a bloody psycho! You can’t treat people like this! You’re not on Asgard anymore!”
“That should be “in” Asgard,” the Loki behind her replied, and Ash spun to face him. Then, suddenly, she was terrified to see not only two Lokis in her room, but multiple ones. The question was, which one was the real Loki? Panic rose up in her as she caught her breath. One Loki was bad enough; what could this many do to her? “What, pet, are you afraid?”
“No!” she insisted, in spite of her racing heart.
Loki, in fact all the Lokis, chuckled, wickedly as one. “You should be.”
“Look, just get out, will you?” Ash cried. “Just get out of my flat and out of my life!”
“I think you’ve forgotten which of us gives the orders here, pet,” one Loki smirked at her. Feeling like her head was spinning, Ash darted for the door, pulling it open before Loki could react.
“Just leave me alone!” she exclaimed, yanking open the front door and tumbling out into the corridor. It was too much and she was running before she was even aware of it. Stopping two steps down, she sighed and then sank down on the step, feeling tears threatening to overwhelm her. It wasn’t right that she kept being scared out of her own flat by a malevolent Norse God with an attitude problem. Cuddling down with her head on her knees, she began to sob in frustration...until she heard the sound of a door being opened.
Thinking that Loki had followed her out, she jerked her head up at once, but it was only Mr Lewis.
“Miss Gray!” he spluttered, his bushy moustache quivering as he spoke. “Will you please try and keep the noise down in your flat? Some of us have work to be getting on with!”
Taking a shaky breath, and wishing that he would cut her a break once in a while, especially today of all days, Ash tried to pull herself together. “I’m so sorry, Mr Lewis; it’s just that I’m having-”
“Don’t give me excuses!” he barked. “Keep it down or I’ll report you to the landlord!”
And he slammed the door before she had a chance to reply. Wiping her eyes, Ash decided to screw her courage to the sticking place. ‘Come on, girl, you’re British, for God’s sake. Your people won the wars. If you can’t even attempt to win this one, then, well...then you’re unworthy of being a British subject. Shame on you for running and crying when you should be fighting for what’s right, just like your ancestors did.’
With another deep breath for courage, she got to her feet and made her way determinedly back to the flat. Pushing the door closed, she leaned on it a second, trying to calm her nerves.
“Hm, half a minute this time. You must be learning, pet.”
Opening her eyes, Ash was relieved to see only one Loki in front of her this time, smirking down at her, the way she imagined a spider cornering its pray.
“You know,” she retorted, finally finding the courage she needed, “it’s ridiculous that I keep running out of my own flat because I’m terrified of what you might do to me. But I have to keep on coming back, not because I want to and not because I’m worried about what you might do to this place in my absence, but for the simple reason that I have to! Because I have nowhere else to go! So, you know what, Loki, just do your worst, because right now,” and here she let out an exasperated laugh, “I am beyond caring!”
So saying, she finally slid down the door and buried her face in her arms. Loki stared at her in surprise. It wasn’t the fact that she had answered back that had struck him momentarily dumb – he had come to understand that she was feisty, hell, sometimes he even provoked her just for the pleasure of hearing her fight back – but her words. They had struck a chord.
‘I don’t have anywhere else to go.’
They were more than familiar to him. They were the very words that had echoed throughout his mind as he had allowed himself to fall from the Bifrost. Asgard was no longer home. Jotunheim wasn’t home. Nowhere else in the Nine Realms could be home to him. So he allowed himself to fall into whatever death he had assumed was waiting for him; because he had no other choice, nowhere else to go.
Suddenly he was seeing a lot of himself in this girl. Her fears, her indignation, her tempers, her cleverness; they were very matched to his own. Suddenly it was like he was purposefully torturing himself, through torturing her.
He dropped to his knees in front of her and reached out, his hand falling, with a gentleness she didn’t know he possessed, onto her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
Ash raised her head to meet his gaze and gave him a pitying look. “Is this another trick?”
“No,” Loki answered, truthfully. “Not this time. It’s just...what you said just then. It got to me. Because we’re very alike, you and I.”
“How so?” Ash asked.
“I don’t have anywhere else to go either,” Loki explained.
Ash looked into his eyes and could believe him. There was no trace of what people might have called his “silver-tongued charm” in his voice, and his eyes were genuine and honest. She sighed and leaned her head against the door. “Look, you can stay if you want to, but, please, stop terrifying me with your tricks and mind games all the time. I’m not a servant, or a pet; I’m a human, and this isn’t how you treat other humans on Earth. If you want to stay, then I’m going to have to lay down some ground rules.”
“Such as?” Loki asked, looking interested.
“Such as stop scaring me out of the flat all the time,” Ash replied, clambering to her feet. Loki straightened up. “And if you want something, don’t command or demand,” she added, before wobbling and almost toppling over. Automatically, Loki caught her hands and steadied her. “Thank you. If you want something from me, just ask.”
Loki nodded. “I can do that.”
“Right,” Ash replied, surprised at how easy that was, how readily he had agreed to it. “And, please, give me a bit more personal space. No more taking off my clothes with magic, alright?” Loki nodded again. “And please move out of my room.”
Loki shook his head with a mischievous grin. “I’m afraid I can’t do that. Your bed’s too comfortable.”
“Fine,” Ash sighed. “I’ll move into the spare room them.”
“I can’t let you do that either.”
“Loki, I’m not going to sleep with you!”
“I thought I’d already made it plain that I don’t want you to.” Noticing that he was still holding her hands, Loki dropped them and folded his arms.
“Well, then, why share a bed with me at all, then?” Ash asked.
“I like the closeness,” Loki admitted. “Sometimes being away from Asgard gives me nightmares. The closeness helps.”
Ash felt her heart soften a little. “Alright, I guess that’s understandable. But we just share the bed, alright? No watching me get dressed or anything.”
“You have my word as a Prince,” Loki promised.
“Right, and perhaps help me a bit around the flat when it’s needed. Like when I clean or something, instead of sitting reading my Shakespeare books. I mean, if we’re going to be flatmates now, then we should start co-operating together.”
Loki nodded again. “That’s doable.”
“And one more thing.”
“Which is?”
“Stop calling me “pet,” Ash finished. “I have a name.”
Loki nodded a final time. “As you wish.”
Ash held out her hand and Loki took it and shook it once, the way Asgardians did when making a deal. Ash sighed. “And now I can have a cup of tea. Do you want one?”
“Please,” Loki replied, and then as she walked past him, “Ash?”
Surprised by him addressing her by her first name, Ash spun around. “Yeah?”
“Thank you.” Loki turned to face her. “For this. I appreciate it.”
She frowned. “It’s just tea, Loki.”
“I didn’t mean the tea. I meant about you giving me a second chance.” Loki looked at his feet. “People don’t usually.”
To Ash he suddenly looked like a child that was genuinely sorry for their actions, vulnerable and in need of comfort. Suddenly she could feel nothing but pity and emotional empathy for him. Taking a step towards him, she folded him in a hug which surprised him so much that it took a moment for him to respond.
“What’s this for?” he couldn’t help asking. Not that he was complaining. When was the last time someone had held him like this? It had probably been Frigga, back when he was a boy; he couldn’t remember anything since then. Her hold was so warm and welcoming that he allowed his eyes to close as he finally moved his arms to return her embrace.
“You just looked like you needed it,” Ash replied. Then, a moment later she thought to add “But don’t go getting any ideas. It’s just a hug.”
Loki smiled. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Lady Gray.”
“Stop it,” she insisted. “It’s Ash.”
“Very well, then. Ash. I suppose I’ll have to get used to that.”
Ash smiled herself as she finally let go of him. “If I can get used to having a Norse God as a flatmate, you can get used to calling me by the right name, Loki of Asgard.”
Turning, she made her way into the kitchen, satisfied in knowledge that she might have finally made a breakthrough with him. Where they went from here was anyone’s guess, but, for now, she was perfectly contented to let Loki stand by the table and watch in fascination, although he didn’t show it, as she padded about the kitchen, making tea for two.