The first time Darcy made the Captain blush because of a song, it was a complete accident. Hardly her fault, even, because she wasn't the one who explained what 'skeet' meant. Yep, totally not her fault. The subsequent incidents were all on her though.
~
"To the window!" She pointed to the window. "To the wall!" She pointed to the wall. "To the sweat drop down my balls! All these bitches crawl! Aw skeet skeet, mother fucker! Aw skeet skeet Thor damn!" She twisted and writhed and twerked just like Taylor Swift taught her.
Unfortunately, because of her enthusiastic "dancing" and "singing," she didn't hear the door to the common room open. She did, however, hear someone ask JARVIS to cut her tunes.
"Oi! Party foul! What gives?" She turned around to see Clint and... Steve Rogers, who she hadn't actually met yet. If she wasn't so occupied with teasing Merida, here, she might've been embarrassed.
"Since when is it party time at 2 pm? And without me no less?"
She was about to answer, but the Cap spoke up. "Skeet? What is that?"
Darcy choked on the air and Clint had to grip the Steve's forearm so he wouldn't fall over from laughing. If she could've stopped coughing for two seconds, she would have rescued him from the bowman with a filter worse than hers. As it was, she could only watch as Barton whispered unintelligibly into his ear.
The effect was instant as Steve turned red from his scalp to the shallow v of his t-shirt. This only made Clint laugh harder and even Darcy couldn't decide if she wanted to laugh or continue hacking up her lung (she did both).
Eventually, Steve stormed out indignantly, which renewed the peals of laughter (and coughing). Clint got up and fetched her a bottle of water (Thor, or Jane for that matter, would kill him if he let the intern die on his watch) but his snickering continued on.
"Darcy, thank you. I haven't laughed that hard since Natasha caught Thor polishing his hammer." He laughed even more at the look on Darcy's face.
~
This time it was planned with a little help from a disembodied voice.
Darcy walked into the boardroom. "JarJar?"
If AI's could sigh, she was certain he would have. "Yes, Miss Lewis?"
"Where is Steve?"
"On his way here to debrief after the mission."
"Excellent," and she found herself rubbing her hands together conspiratorially like Monty Burns. She rolled her eyes. "When he comes in, I want you to play America, Fuck Yeah. Can you do that?"
"Certainly."
Darcy wasn't banned from debriefs, especially one as declassified as this, but she chose almost never to go. A tired looking Tony in bullet perforated armor eyed her suspiciously but didn't say anything.
He was the last to arrive and Darcy thanked her lucky stars. Steve Rogers walked in, still clad in his uniform. The familiar guitar riff began to play and Darcy beamed.
America, Fuck Yeah!
Comin' again to save the motherfuckin' day, Yeah
America, Fuck Yeah!
Freedom is the only way, Yeah
Terrorists, your game is through
'cause now you have ta answer to
America, Fuck yeah!
So lick my butt and suck on my balls
America, Fuck Yeah!
Whatcha' gonna do when we come for you now
The whole team grinned and cheered while Steve screwed his expression up into the most adorable scowl she'd ever seen. His face was partially hidden by his mask but of what she could see, he was pink (despite his reluctant smile). She whooped for the Captain and herself.
~
The third time took a bit of finesse. She didn't want it to happen right when he walked in, she wanted him to think he was safe before she struck.
She was in one of the many kitchens prepping Jane and Thor's romantic pop tart dinners when the Steve and Natasha walked in and sat, spreading out sheets between them.
She slathered each pop tart in peanut butter just the way Thor liked it but her eyes were fixed on Steve. She subtly (for a woman who prided herself on being conspicuous) repeatedly tapped out the four beat rhythm of a timelord's heartbeat. That was JARVIS' cue to do his thing.
East Coast party style
bitches going crazy
Booty shakin' never ceases to amaze me
Girl, I wanna get you in to my bed
But we ain't gonna sleep, we make love instead
Your vagina is a self-cleansing muscular tract
With over 50,000 nerve cells ready to act
In fact 6.5 inches side to side and with a pH-value of 4.5
When you become aroused-
"Cut the music, J," she called as if she was rescuing him.
It was called Work It by the same dudes who made The Fox and it was very informative (and a pretty rockin party song, too). It also made Steve blush so hard, she thought his hair might turn red, too.
"Sorry, Steve, I've been studying for my Anatomy and Physiology final." Natasha raised a brow at Darcy, and she shrugged meekly at one of the few people in the world that made her want to think before she speak.
"Right, well I-" he began skeptically but just at that moment, he stood, knocking over the small table.
Darcy watched with minimal drooling as Steve Rogers bent and snapped, like, three times. Darcy may have fallen just a bit in love with that ass (and maybe she plotted to steal that booty with Nic Cage because it had to be a national treasure).
~
She didn't get far into Dance(A$$) by Big Sean (literally, 'ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...') before Steve walked out.
~
Steve had wised up to Darcy's scheme by now so she had to enlist the help of the master: Tony Stark himself.
"I think he's avoiding me," she said with a grin that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Yeah, I'm not sure who he likes more at the moment, me or you," he remarked, watching her closely.
He smirked at the twitch of her eye. "Well, how am I gonna get him this time?" Her voice was a little too high pitched for someone who was in this purely for fun.
This girl had foolishly fallen for one of her victims. And here he was thinking she'd be an adequate protégée. Well, that idea was nixed. You never fall for your bitch.
Even though he was out an apprentice, he could still make a love connection. He just needed some time to convince Steve that this was her own odd way of flirting (shouldn't be to hard considering the way he looked at her when she wasn't trying to embarass him).
"Look, Lewis, I'll help you. What song?"
Darcy grinned, her eyes lighting with mischief. "My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't, my anaconda-"
He raised a hand to silence her. "Alright! I hear that song enough in the quinjet with Barton. I'm guessing you want to be there."
"Of course! What's the point if I can't watch him squirm a little?"
"Right well," he said, pushing her toward his elavator. "Come here at 5 pm tomorrow. I'll have it all set up."
"Hey wait, what?"
"Do you trust me, Lewis?" They connected eyes. "Don't answer that. Look, if your anaconda doesn't, don't come. Otherwise, here, tomorrow, five."
~
She rode the elevator to Tony's suite, bouncing with nervous energy she didn't want to examine too hard. When the doors buzzed open (he refused to own any thing that dinged), she walked into the dimmed penthouse with a frown. "Tony?"
"He took Pepper out for dinner and a night on the town." Darcy nearly jumped out of her leggings.
"Jesus Christ, Steven! You scared the shit out of me!" She placed a hand over her heart willing it slow. The look on Steve's face, the out of place smirk, made that nearly impossible.
"I got figured out your little plan, to make me blush. When Tony came to me this morning with a plan to get you back, I couldn't resist."
"That son of a bitch."
Steve barked out a laugh. "He isn't so bad sometimes." He walked toward her so that there was little space between them.
"What-what are you doing?" Her voice hitched, and she hoped like hell that he didn't notice.
"Revenge." He offered her his hand. "Do you want to dance?"
"Sure," she agreed readily. There was still a part of her hoping that Stark hadn't completely stabbed her in the back and they'd soon be dancing to Anaconda. No such luck.
A low, slow strumming began and Steve pulled her flush to him. (Ah Ah, You're beautiful) They swayed slowly back and forth, the Captain with his hand on her lower back and Darcy with her hand on his shoulder. Their other hands were clasped tightly. A man started to croon melodically.
Hop on the back of my bike
Let the good wind blow through your hair
With an ass like that and a smile so bright
Oh, you’re killing me, you know it ain’t fair, yeah
Ride on through the middle of the night
Let the moonlight kiss your skin
When you dance like that, your jeans so tight
Oh, you’re killing me, baby do it again
Steve spun her ending with a dip.
You’re beautiful, and your mind is fucking beautiful
And I can’t pretend that doesn’t mean a thing to me, to me, yeah
You’re beautiful, good lord, you’re fucking beautiful
And I can’t pretend that doesn’t mean a thing to me, to me, yeah, yeah
The look in his eyes was so intense and heady as Miguel and Mariah Carey harmonized, Darcy was sure she'd melt. It was like Steve was convinced that this song was only meant for her and him in that one moment. Their staring contest continued for what felt like an hour before she had to look away and if Darcy wasn't red before, she was most certainly blushing now.