Fitz,
Please don't tear this up. I know I don't have the right to ask you for anything, but please read this.
Every part of me wants to make excuses for what I did to you, but I wont. I'm determined to be a good person - to be the person you always believed I was. I know I can; it's in me, you saw it there. That good person is in me, I'm just working to make sure he's the ONLY person in me. Does that make sense?
Maybe not. I've never been very good at expressing my feelings. It wasn't part of the job, you know? My job was to do what I had to do to get the job done, and I lied a lot. I hurt people. Thinking back on the things I did now makes me sick and I hate myself. I'm sure you don't believe me, and I understand if you don't. I wouldn't believe me either.
I won't ask your forgiveness. I don't deserve it; no matter what I do for the rest of my life I'll never deserve your forgiveness, so I'll never ask. That's not why I wanted to write this letter to you.
I just wanted you to know two things:
1) I'm sorry. From the bottom of my soul, I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.
2) You were always my friend.
~Ward