His flesh palm is sweating.
Back in their day, when publicly entertaining such ideas would have gotten him arrested, Bucky had decided that were he ever to propose to Steven Grant Rogers, he was going to damn well do it properly. The perfect day out, followed by a slap-up meal and a surprise engagement ring. The gorgeous blush that went straight across Steve's cheeks and down his neck that was simultaneously hotter than hell and adorable as fuck.
Then the war happened. Then Erskine happened, and the serum, and HYDRA. Then they took a train across the Alps and Bucky had thought he'd never get to ask Steve anything again, let alone to marry him. Then seventy years of torture, of pain, of diabolical puppeteering and murder, and the next thing Bucky asked Steve was what the hell was his own name.
Which makes him even more determined to get it right.
To Steve, it's any other date night. To Bucky, it's the culmination of three weeks stress and careful planning. One of Steve's favourite artists was exhibiting at the MoMA and Bucky bypassed Tony's teasing and went straight to Pepper Potts about a private showing for him and Steve. They followed this with an evening stroll through Central Park to get to here. The rest was had required a little gentle persuasion on the part of the kitchen staff.
Steve looks radiant under the soft restaurant lights, in a light blue button-down and khaki slacks. "Because you obviously like to look your age," Bucky teases.
"Jerk."
"Punk."
Steve smiles softly and Bucky damn near melts.
The best part is that Steve doesn't seem to suspect a thing. They're surrounded by people; a couple sitting next to them, also on a date night, business associates, small families, a rather raucous birthday party, but Bucky feels he and Steve exist in their own little world. Steve's holding Bucky's metal hand, stroking his thumb across the cold, smooth plates, so he can't feel how damp his palm is.
His nervousness must be comminucating itself though, because Steve squeezes his hand. "Hey. No threats in here, Buck. You're perfectly safe."
"What do you mean?"
"You keep checking the exits every two minutes. You only do that when you don't feel safe."
Bucky flushes. "Can't help it."
"I know. I remember when we first moved into the tower. You didn't sleep for two weeks until you’d got used to the sounds of the place."
“Can you blame me? Living with Howard Stark’s son?"
Steve laughs. God, Bucky loves him.
The mains plates are cleared away and the server brings them their dessert menus.Steve picks his up and starts to scan it, but Bucky puts a cool hand over his. Then he turns and winks at the server.
"We'll have one chocolate fondant, and one blueberry sundae," he says. The server winks back and takes the menus back to the kitchen.
Steve looks archly at him. For half a horrible second Bucky thinks the game's up, but Steve simply says "You're never going to let me forget that 'fondue' thing, are you?"
Bucky chuckles, relieved. "Well they don't do fondue here, Steve, had to pick the next best thing."
Steve rolls his eyes, but he takes Bucky's hand again. "Again, you're a jerk."
"Yeah," Bucky said, "but I'm your jerk."
Steve flushes. "Yeah." He runs his thumb across Bucky's metal hand again.
Bucky's never had any sensation in the arm. It was designed as a weapon. The only signals it sends to his brain occur when he touches something, or when something touches him. It allows him to function and gives him fine motor control, and that’s it. But Bucky loves it when Steve touches his prosthetic arm like it's just another part of him. Like it's perfectly normal. Bucky's never felt particularly normal in his life.
"Sap," he mutters.
"Hey, you started it."
They bicker comfortably until the waitress comes back with their desserts. Again, she winks at Bucky as she sets them down. He nods to her.
Steve watches the exchange shrewdly.
"She does know you’re taken, right?" he asks once she’s left them alone.
Bucky grins at his boyfriend. "She’s probably fishing for tips, let her be."
The server returns and serves the couple next to them their desserts; ice cream for the man, and an identical fondant for the woman.
Steve smiles, picks up his fork, and digs in to the squidgy chocolate sponge. Bucky makes a start on his sundae, but watches Steve like a hawk.
But the dessert disappears quickly, bite after bite.
Bucky wipes his palm on his trousers. What the hell happened to the ring?
Steve looks at him, concern written all over his face. "Bucky? Buck, you okay?"
"I'm...I'm fine, Steve, it's okay. I'm not about to snap."
"Never said you were, but you're pale as a sheet."
Bucky's been trained in espionage and misdirection, but right now his mind is drawing a blank. "Um...well..."
Suddenly the woman at the table next to them chokes, drops her cutlery and grabs her napkin to cover her mouth. Her date dives around the table to her side. "Honey? What's wrong?" Steve, ever the chivalrous knight, is halfway out of his seat himself.
The woman chokes once more, spits into her napkin, and then looks down. "Holy shit." she says. "It's a ring."
She looks meaningfully at her date, who flushes. "I...I didn't...I mean...what the hell?"
Bucky freezes. Oh shit.
Steve looks between the couple and Bucky and his own dessert.
Bucky leans over the their table. "Um...excuse me ma'am, but can I see that ring?"
The couple look up at him. Steve is staring at him.
The woman cleans off the ring on a spare corner of her napkin, and holds it out to him.
It's unmistakably the ring he picked out for Steve. Oh SHIT.
His expression must say it all because Steve begins to laugh, right from the bottom of his stomach, doubled over on the table. The couple also begin to giggle. Bucky buries his face in his hands.
Alerted by the ruckus, the waitress hurries over. "Everything okay?"
The other woman smiles at her. "I think you got our fondants mixed up."
The waitress glances between them and the penny suddenly drops. "Oh gosh. Oh gosh, I am so sorry, I wrecked your surprise. Oh I am such an idiot..."
Steve still hasn't stopped laughing, the damn punk.
Bucky lifts his head from the cradle of his hands. "It's okay, ma'am, it's an honest mistake."
Steve regains his composure. "Bucky, were you trying to be romantic?"
"Trying? I was succeeding! I was going to wine you and dine you and then...oh God this is embarrassing..."
The woman next to them pats his back. "There, there. It could be worse, I could have swallowed it. Or your boyfriend could have swallowed it."
Steve snorts. Bucky puts his head back in his hands and takes a couple of breaths. Honestly, if he hadn't been so nervous about the whole thing, it would have been hilarious. Tomorrow, it probably will be. But tonight, his romantic and clever proposal has gone horribly awry and he wants to crawl away into a hole because he's screwed up royally.
Soft, familiar hands take his. "Hey," Steve’s gentle voice says. "It's okay. I'm touched, really."
Bucky looks up at him. "You mean in the head, right?"
"Funny, jerk." A cool metal ring is pressed into his flesh hand. "You wanna try that again?"
Bucky looks down at the ring, a plain silver band with two central bands of red and blue in the middle. He cleans the rest of the chocolate off it with his napkin, acutely aware that the rest of the restaurant is now attentively watching the drama unfold.
He no longer cares.
Steve steps back as he slides off his chair and down onto one knee.
Bucky, here and now in the 21st century, is far less verbose than he was in the 30s and 40s, but he's had a lot of time to think about this and the words trip easily off his tongue.
"Steven Grant Rogers," he begins. "I am screwed up. I have hurt you so many times in so many ways. Some days I can't believe that after everything we've been through, everything we've seen and everything I've done, you still want to know me, much less be with me."
"That's Captain America and the Winter Soldier..." someone whispers. Bucky is fairly certain there's a camera on him right now. He doesn't care.
"Against all the odds we made it here, we found each other again, and again, and if I hadn't been in love with you since 1932 I'd call you dangerously insane. And this was supposed to be a romantic surprise, but that plans' gone AWOL, so I'll just say it out loud; I love you, and I want stay by your side for the rest of my life. So, if you'll have me, Steve, will you marry me?"
They are definitely being filmed now.
Steve looks like he wants to cry. Bucky hopes he doesn't because it'll set him off.
"Bucky...when you fell off that train I thought that I'd died, not just you. And when I found you again, in this century...I didn't care what you'd done. I decided I'd never let you go again. And I intend to keep that promise."
"Just a simple yes or no would do, Stevie." Bucky jokes.
"You punk, of course the answer's yes!" And Steve drags him off the floor and into a passionate kiss as the restaurant erupts around them.
It wasn't quite what Bucky was aiming for, but he'll take it.
***
(The video goes viral overnight. Coulson hates his job.)