Fractured

January 5, 1976

A chill was in the room when Remus woke. And as much as he wanted to pull his comforter over his head and keep sleeping as soundly as his dorm mates still appeared to be, he needed to get to the library to finish up his winter break homework, which he had been avoiding over the Christmas holiday.

Rustling his hands together for warmth, he tiptoed across the dimly lit room towards the bathroom to freshen up. His teeth were fuzzy from all the fags he and Sirius smoked the night before in the common room after Peter and James went to bed. Neither of the teens knew what time it was when they found their way back to the warmth of their beds, but after seeing the circles under his eyes, it couldn’t have been more than three hours ago, maybe even two.

~

“I mean it, Sirius. You’re not coming with me.”

“Why the hell not, Moony? You can’t go alone? And besides, do you really think your parents wouldn’t check in with the Potters since you’re supposedly there?”

“I’m still going.”

“You’ll only be sixteen. You can’t even use magic outside of school, you twit!”

~

He had finally let Sirius in on his plan to find Greyback over the summer. His spare time was spent in the library researching pack theories, their leaders, and any other information that could help him in his search. Dumbledore had been less than subtly hinting to him that when the time came, he would need Remus to help in ways the others couldn’t. It was the first silver lining he had seen with his lycanthropy since he could remember.

There had been only one werewolf attack so far, but he could tell everyone thought there would be more in the future, as more and more rumors circulated about the impending war.
Remus knew that if he could just get into the right mindset to find Greyback or any of his followers, he could somehow help stop more deaths from happening.

Sirius was less than amused by his half cooked scheme. He knew how scared Remus was to channel the wolf. For almost four years now, he had been watching his best friend in both physical and mental agony, doing anything in his power to keep himself separated from the beast. Now, he was plotting an entire summer spent trying to find others like him. Sirius thought he had gone absolutely mental, and he hadn’t been afraid to tell Remus as much.

Most of the night had been spent in hushed tones as they argued, wielding their opinions back and forth like hexes. He realized then it was useless trying to make Sirius or anyone else understand why he wanted to do this. He had five months to finalize his plan. By then, he hoped he’d be ready. And if he wasn’t, he’d revise it, but he wasn’t willing to waste more time arguing with his friends, especially Sirius.

Throwing his robes over his jeans and flannel, he sauntered down the winding stone steps back into the common room. Most students appeared to be taking advantage of the last full day of their break before lessons resumed, sleeping in until they were on the verge of missing breakfast. ‘Perfect,’ he thought, ‘the library will be nice and quiet.’

It would have been the perfect time to sneak into the restricted section with James’ invisibility cloak, but if his friend woke and found it missing, there wouldn’t be a good enough reason for Remus not to come clean like he had with Sirius. If he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t ready for anyone else to know. He hoped to Merlin, Sirius would keep his big mouth shut like he promised. There was a 50/50 chance of him keeping his word; he desperately needed this to be one of the times he did.

~.~

“Albus, this entire situation makes me entirely too nervous,” Minerva said as she sipped her Earl Grey tea from the antique teacup, shaking her head in disapproval. She had been up all night. Tossing and turning, fretting over their new student situation.

The headmaster sat his cup and saucer down on his desk as he stood to grab a small treat for Fawkes, who was grooming himself while bathing in the sunlight of the stained glass window behind his desk. “I don’t see what choice we have but to trust them.”

“But how do we know…”

“We don’t, and we can’t. Not without interfering more than we already have.”

Nervously, Minerva nodded when the knock at the door echoed up from the stairs. She stood brushing her robes off while Dumbledore appeared absentmindedly, stroking his bird's bright red feathers.

As Minerva cleared her throat, the two new students entered the office quietly, their eyes downcast. When they reached the desk, Professor McGonagall motioned for them to take a seat with the sincerest nod she could manage. She was doing her best to keep a stoic face, but she sensed that even she was out of her depth. None of them had ever been in this situation before.

“I hope the two of you slept well after your long journey. I know the hospital wing isn’t quite the comfort either of you might have been hoping for.”

“It was fine,” the blonde whispered with her head down once she sat. “Thank you.”

“We’ve arranged for the remainder of your time here for you both to stay in Gryffindor Tower. It tends to be the most accommodating,” Dumbeldore said, his back still turned to the girls, as Minerva sat down again in her seat, trying not to fidget with her robes.

“That means I’ll also be close by if either of you needs anything…anything at all,” Minerva chimed in. She watched the girls closely, with her hands now folded before her.

The brunette brushed her curls away from her ear to hear what her friend was whispering to her in French. The teacher knew somehow this would be trouble. Nothing but trouble. Clearing her throat, the young ladies hushed, settling their attention back on the teachers.

“There is an empty dormitory for the two of you for your privacy, given the circumstances. Uniforms and robes will be provided—no need for the two of you to stand out more than you already do. When you get to your room, you’ll find a class schedule that is utterly important and that you stick to. Now, considering the other circumstances…you’ll also need to prepare for the OWL exams with the other fifth years. Whether you’ll be here by the time the exam comes around is yet to be seen, so until we know, keep up the best you can. None of these things are requests.”

Panicked, the girls started to protest. Dumbledore spoke first as he moved back to his desk, “I think you both know how important it is that this plays out correctly. For everyone involved.” With a quirk of his eyebrow that communicated this. It was clear none of this was up for discussion.

Nodding again in unison, the girls responded, “Oui..”

“As far as what we discussed upon your arrival, I will still hold up my end of our bargain as long as you hold up yours. Let Professor McGonagall know when you need to speak with me directly, and I will make the proper arrangements.”

“Thank you, headmaster,” the blonde forced a tight smile as she stood and tried to get her footing in her silk blue, patent kitten heels. She tried to rush her friend to stand and make a swift exit.

“Ms. Evans will meet you out front of the tower. She’ll show you both to your room. Please try to enjoy this time now and be careful.”

“Easy for him to say,” one mumbled to the other.

Briskly, they made their exit, leaving the teachers alone again.

Minerva looked back at Albus anxiously. “Are you sure about this?”

“They’ve left me with no choice, Minnie. I have to be.”

~.~

It took Remus’ stomach growling audibly for him to check the time. It was nearly half past four, which meant he had no hope of getting lunch at this hour. On his way to the library this morning, he had helped himself to two plates of toast, bacon, and eggs, but he was still insatiable. “Damn it,” he muttered to himself.

Shutting Dark Creatures & Their Origins, he crammed the book into his satchel with several others he had collected this morning. He had told himself he’d get to his Charms essay before he left, but he found himself lost in finding information to flesh out his plans for the summer instead. He had never researched lycanthropy this much before, aside from what was asked of him in class; he was too afraid of what he might find. He couldn’t stop reading passage after passage on others like him. He had discovered a handful of firsthand accounts from other werewolves, their life stories, and the healers who have tried to help them. Several old articles were printed in the Daily Prophet and other publications of the terrors and movements of packs or rogue wolves. Every piece told a different story. Remus wasn’t sure if this was good or bad for himself.

Moving a tad bit slower than usual, thanks to the additional weight, he stopped in the kitchens on his way back to the dorm. He flashed a coy smile at the house elves, something Sirius and James had taught him if he was ever in a pinch for an extra meal. Flattered and blushing from his subtle charm, the elves generously made him a turkey sandwich with all the fixings. One even threw in a chocolate cupcake for dessert. Graciously, he accepted the sweet treat. He gave the elves a wink just before he left to find his friends.

Feeling much better now that he was stuffed from a late lunch, Remus found his way back through the portrait to the comfort of the common room. Seeing his friends were already lounging by the fire, he dropped his bag and automatically started towards his usual overstuffed chair next to the fireplace. It took him by surprise when he saw it was already occupied.

“Ah, Moony, there you are!” Sirius was sitting on the red sofa with a massive grin. Remus nodded at his friend, cautiously eyeing the petite girl, who was dawning a satin blue outfit from her hairpiece down to her shoes, who had somehow claimed his spot. Her brown eyes met his, and she offered a friendly hello. Giving him a small smile, she let Sirius talk for her. It was not like he was giving her much choice, either. “This is our new friend, Colette. One of the transfer students from Beauxbatons.”

“Er, hello,” Remus extended his hand, slightly hesitant, “nice to meet you.”

“Bonjour,” she said, “it’s nice to meet you as well.”

There was something comforting about her touch and her voice seemed familiar in a comforting way. It also sounded like a song he had heard before but couldn’t remember where. Remus felt off balance, like being in her orbit had somehow knocked him off track. He could tell she was nervous, but who wouldn’t be with the entire male Gryffindor population gawking at you?

Remus looked around and noticed that every male from the fifth to seventh years seemed to be mozying about the common room at this exact moment. Some were trying to be less obvious, acting as if they were playing chess or finishing winter break homework. Others walked in and out as if they had forgotten something and urgently needed an excuse to enter the room again.

Sirius grabbed Remus, pulling him down between himself and James, but not next to Colette as if he was saving him a seat like they were first years unsure of where to sit for lunch. “We were just asking Colette how she was settling in,” he informed Remus.

“Turns out Dumbledore found them best suited in our house,” Peter piped in with a cheeky smile.

“So, no sorting ceremony then?”

“Guess not. Lily didn’t say much. Just that they’d be here lumped in with our lot.” James was doing his best not to stare at the brown eyed beauty but was failing quite noticeably. Remus supposed it was new and different. They had been around the same girls for five years now. Any new ones were far too young to be gawked at or looked at romantically. Despite the awkwardness, it did make sense.

“Well, welcome then. Sorry if these blokes are giving you a rough time.”

“Everyone has been really nice so far. It’s nice to meet everyone,” Colette said softly in her French accent and gave him another friendly smile.

“Good,” Remus smiled back. Then, out of nowhere, that scent hit him again—lilacs and bubblegum.

Circling like an idiot, he tried to find where the scent was coming from. The same sensations the wolf felt the night before were in overdrive. The hair on his arms stood straight up while an overwhelming sensation of urgency and eagerness shot through his spine like lightning.

‘What the bloody hell is that?!’

Practically chasing his tail, trying to find the source, he saw Lily coming down with Colette’s fellow transfer student, who was now wearing a proper Hogwarts uniform and robes, along with a Gryffindor tie.

Her blonde curls bounced as she descended the stairs next to his friend. Catching a glimpse of her blue eyes. He stood frozen, unable to move, unable to speak, he watched- more like gawked- at the young woman coming towards him.

He was transfixed as she tucked her hair behind her ears and chewed on her lower lip. Nervous habit, he thought to himself. Now, he realized he looked like an idiot.

“Remus,” Lily greeted him with a smile, “this is…”

“Fi,” the French girl cut off the prefect, “Fi…”

It took every ounce of self control Remus had to not rush toward Fi. The aroma she carried had completely taken over all of Remus’ senses. There was a rush, an urgency, a calamity he had never felt before. He had the urge to flee, to get out of there. The wolf was clawing in the pit of his stomach, trying to get out, to push him towards her.

“Fi, right. Nice-nice to meet you.”

“Looking right at home in that red and gold, Fi!” Sirius called from the couch, still awkwardly close to Colette, who seemed uncomfortable and looked as if she didn’t mind too much.

Looking back and forth between the girls, Remus took a step back. “If you’ll please excuse me, it was nice to meet both of you. You’re in good hands with Lily here,” he said as he slowly turned away from the group.

Colette glanced over at Fi, who met her worried look with her own.

Sensing the mood shift, Sirius grabbed Remus before his long legs could hit the stairs. “Hold on there, Moony. It's these lovely girls' first night. We should give them a proper welcome.”

“Pads…” Remus whispered with a roll of his eyes and groaned.

“Proper welcome?” Colette asked timidly.

“No, Black, no!” Lily pointed at him forcefully, “No parties-”

“A party!” he shouted over Lily.

James jumped up, ready to pull Remus back into the circle of friends.

“James Potter, what did I just say?” Lily exclaimed, glaring at the lovestuck boy.

Getting on the other side of Remus to make a sandwich of him with Sirius, James tossed his arm around his friends. Smirking at Lily, he spoke with charm. “Seems only right. The year's first party will be in our new student’s honor. Term doesn’t even begin till…”

“Tomorrow. As in twelve hours?” Lily protested.

“Then we have a good eight to ten to be the welcoming committee,” he said with a cheeky wink towards her.

There was no stopping the two boys now. Once Sirius and James got an idea in their heads, there was no turning back.

“Really, no one needs to fuss.” Fi hurried to her friend and took her by the hand, eagerly pulling her from the armchair and away from the quickly progressing party planning. “We can just go to bed after dinner.

“Nonsense!” the three Marauders exclaimed together.

“Sirius, please let this go–-”

“Too late, I’m already picking albums out in my head. That settles it. Tonight we shall properly induct our new Gryffindors into our home and start this year off with a fucking banger.”

This was it. No turning back or talking him out of it now. Tonight would be one of the weirdest nights of Remus’ life, and there was nothing he could do about it.

‘Damn you, Sirius Black…’