Nagomi Yui and Fuwa Kokone were sitting together in front of the computer screen of their shared apartment, both of them focused on the video game they’d picked up at a local store when they’d been shopping together earlier that afternoon. The bright light of the screen illuminated Nagomi’s face with highlights as she moved her character to a new map while keeping her eye glued to the game controller. “So this is how I’m doing it,” she said quietly as she continued to move her characters through the map without really moving. She seemed very pleased about having an entire level of skill displayed for herself.
“It is.” The taller girl nodded before taking a sip from her drink. It was a smoothie made out of fruits and water and probably contained some kind of protein or vitamin supplement that she wasn’t sure exactly what it was. Her friend had taken to drinking weirdly colored drinks from time to time. “But why don’t you just get the next level instead of all the other levels? That way you can do more damage to those guys’ bosses.” She pointed to another player who was trying to take advantage of one of his bosses’ openings by stealing their boss’ weapon. This guy’s strategy was going to come back around and destroy him eventually. “You could use those attacks to finish off all his bosses.”
“Yeah, but that would make me slower than my other characters. My boss has already lost most of their bosses to that guy so now he has less enemies to deal with. Besides, that would require a lot of power.” Nagomi stopped moving around to point to a character in a separate corner of the map. She was wearing armor and wielding a sword while fighting against two enemies. “Besides, I have enough monsters already to kill that guy.” She finished the last bit of her smoothie before setting the bottle onto the table next to the couch. “There isn’t much reason for me to play any longer if my main quest is dead.”
She paused the game so she could look at her friend. Fuwa’s eyebrows furrowed slightly at Nagomi’s words, but didn’t say anything. She was still working on getting her level of experience up to level 25 before her first real job as a professional gamer. While her skillset did increase rapidly thanks to having a powerful monster to rely on, her skillset hadn’t developed as fast as her friend’s.
“Hey.” Nagomi turned away from the game and looked straight at Fuwa. “I think your character will win anyway. Your boss is only a third your age and seems pretty weak compared to everyone else. You might even be able to finish the boss off yourself since you have enough monsters to defeat him.” She smiled at the dark haired girl. “Then you won’t need to spend too much extra effort to get stronger.” She chuckled lightly as she got up from the couch. “After all, your main task is killing him so you can get the boss to level five instead of ten. Then you can beat everyone else, including those guys over there. And after you get past those levels, you will also end up becoming a high ranking official like me.”
Fuwa sighed softly. “Yeah, I know. But if we end up defeating everyone here first, I’ll still have some time left to level up again. Plus, I don’t know if I can handle leveling up all of these levels right now.” There was concern in her voice. After playing online games for years, she knew what a difficult task it was to level up to level 10 in the game industry. Not all levels in the game industry existed in reality, which meant that most levels in the game were different versions of the same thing. If you ended up leveling up into a boss or a mob boss or whatever, you were either going to fight them for your own survival, or fail the quest. No matter what level you leveled up to, it wouldn’t change the fact that you needed to survive to reach that boss. So Fuwa couldn’t help but feel apprehensive about leveling up.
Nagomi put her hand gently on her friend’s shoulder. “Don’t worry.” She smiled reassuringly at her. “We’re friends. We can always count on each other. Right?” She glanced down as she realized she was touching her friend’s shoulder. Slowly, her eyes went wide as her brain processed her actions. With both hands, she immediately took her hand back from her friend’s shoulder and held it close to her chest instead, hoping that none of Fuwa’s other friends had noticed her action. She swallowed uncomfortably as her mind ran a thousand miles an hour wondering why on earth she had done that.
The dark haired girl was looking at her curiously. Her eyes seemed concerned, but not angry, which made sense since her friend had just touched her shoulder. Instead of feeling like an idiot or even worse, she looked embarrassed and felt as though she wanted to cry. Why did her body decide to move on its own? What was happening to her lately?! It wasn’t a good sign, she decided, especially because she was used to acting quickly in stressful situations. It must have something to do with her sudden realization that her feelings towards her best friend weren’t entirely platonic. ‘Wait. Maybe… that could be it…’ She had read somewhere that people who fell in love could develop unhealthy relationships. It was just one theory, but it sounded logical to her, considering everything she’d observed and witnessed lately.
Maybe she liked Fuwa? That was definitely possible. They had known each other for a long time now after all. However, that wasn’t necessarily a good thing since they were friends, so maybe that could pose problems for them in the future… She sighed. That train of thought brought up unpleasant thoughts about the future. For example, there would be no way for the pair to keep hanging out outside of work. She’d probably lose her job sooner or later anyways. She could just imagine it – Fuwa leaving her alone in the apartment whenever she came home early. She shuddered as she imagined being alone and miserable every day. Just imagining her life without the other girl was depressing.
As if sensing her distressed emotions towards her own thoughts, Fuwa stood up and walked towards her friend. She sat down next to her and placed her arm around Nagomi’s shoulders. Her friend was still staring intently at the game, so Fuwa gave her a gentle nudge. “Nagi? Are you okay?”
Her friend jumped at Fuwa’s voice. “Huh? Uh, yes, I am fine. What were you saying?” Her face was flushed pink as she shifted away a bit from Fuwa. A part of her knew that it was stupid to act this way in front of anyone other than her parents, but she was too scared to speak up at that moment, so she simply waited.
The shorter girl gave her a concerned look, but didn’t push the issue. It appeared like her friend was just distracted by the game at hand and wasn’t ready to talk about whatever it was she was thinking about. “It was nothing important,” she said softly. She leaned forward and kissed her best friend’s cheek. “Go ahead and level up. I’ll be watching.”
“Thanks.” Nagomi returned the gesture before turning her attention fully to the game, which allowed her to forget about her previous thoughts for a while. She didn’t really expect to ever grow any closer to her friend or for things between them to become awkward, but she found that she was more than willing to give it a chance if Fuwa was willing as well.
Chapter 2
It had been nearly half a year since their first date, but it seemed as though their relationship was progressing steadily. Though they were both rather busy people, Fuwa managed to squeeze in time to visit Nagomi almost everyday. Whenever she wasn't working, she'd usually find an excuse to come see Nagomi at the apartment complex where she lived and stay over until her father forced them to go their separate ways. Despite her father's constant protests of "you're young! You should be spending more time playing video games!", he couldn't stop his daughter from seeing her childhood friend every once in awhile. He understood the importance of keeping in contact and being able to communicate with her when the opportunity presented itself (which happened quite often in recent times).
So when a new month rolled around, Fuwa found herself waiting outside of Nagomi's apartment building for the doorbell to ring. Usually she wasn't nervous about knocking on someone's door since there would be no reason for her to get nervous, but today was different. In fact, it was the first time that she actually knocked on the door instead of using the doorbell. As a result, her knuckles trembled noticeably, making it clear that she was far from calm. Still, she tried not to let her nerves show on her face despite how nervous she was feeling inside. She kept reminding herself to breathe, but every time she did, it became harder for her to breath. She was trying her hardest to calm down, but was failing miserably. The thought of having to leave the warmth of Nagomi's apartment and walk through her cold empty streets filled her with dread.
She wasn't sure what she expected upon arriving at Nagomi's apartment. To be honest, she didn't understand why she had agreed to meet her best friend for coffee after they both said goodbye to each other the night before. Perhaps, the two of them planned to have a small breakfast together to hangout before Fuwa headed home, but the idea was shot down before even reaching reality. After they said goodbye, Fuwa spent the rest of the morning in shock. She hadn't expected Nagomi to be the type of person to break up with someone just because they broke up with someone else. She knew that breaking up was a big deal when it came to couples who were still dating and she had never considered herself as a person whose relationship status was particularly low to begin with, but she was shocked that it was Nagomi who ended things. She hadn't seen her best friend at all during all this time that passed. She hadn't heard anything from her, except for one text message asking her whether she was free for lunch. That was the only word she received. Even when she asked for the address of their favorite place in town to meet, she had received no reply.
That was the main reason why she had agreed to meet her best friend for lunch today. She knew that her father wouldn't stop her from visiting Nagomi once in a while. It would just make sense if she stopped by and paid a visit to her old friend. She figured that it might make things a little less awkward for them once they started talking about it casually. Besides, she didn't want to risk losing Nagomi over a misunderstanding. If things got awkward, then she could always take matters into her own hands and apologize for having been too rash.
After standing outside of Nagomi's apartment for several minutes, the door opened unexpectedly. The man who answered the door was dressed in casual clothes that were covered in paint. He blinked in surprise at the sight of Fuwa outside his doorway. “H-Hey, I wasn't expecting you… Is everything alright?”
Fuwa smiled nervously at him as she stepped inside. She then walked over and closed the door behind her. “I'M sorry for barging in like this,” she apologized sheepishly as she rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly.
“It's quite alright. Please don't worry about it. You're a friend of my son, right?” He motioned for her to come inside. “I'm Ryo. How can I help you?”
She nodded slightly, before taking the seat that he offered her. She hesitated for a second, but finally spoke up. “Actually, I'm here to ask for your advice about something.” Fuwa watched as he pulled a chair across from her and seated himself, crossing his arms over his chest.
He tilted his head slightly to the side, seemingly intrigued about what the raven-haired woman could possibly need from his advice. “What about?”
“I... I'm worried that my girlfriend might not be comfortable with me coming by her apartment every day just because we've grown closer,” she confessed quietly.
Kasai frowned slightly as she stared at her ex-girlfriend for a few seconds. Fuwa wondered what exactly she was thinking about judging from the expression on her face. “I know that you haven't seen her in a while, but surely she has told you already that she won't allow your visits to happen anymore unless you' re serious about getting back together, right?”
She shook her head immediately. “No, she hasn't told me anything yet.”
She nodded slowly as he continued to stare at her ex. “Well, I suppose you'll just have to tell her yourself eventually. You know, you can just drop in unannounced and say hello to her as soon as she comes home. Or you could write letters to each other or call to say hello.” She paused for a moment as she tried to remember something before she shrugged helplessly. “But either is fine with me. Honestly, I think the most important thing you can do right now is to try and reconnect again. If you can manage to overcome your differences, then you'll know that you're doing the right thing and that you should continue to remain in your current relationship.” With the words that she'd given her, Fuwa felt a lot better, but deep down, she knew that she couldn't really trust herself to be the strong person that her girlfriend wanted her to be in the first place. No matter how much she wished otherwise, she knew that she wasn't the type of person to break up with someone just because they weren't happy anymore. She knew that Nagomi was capable of being strong in a situation like this. However, she doubted very much that the latter's opinion of her was going to change completely once she learned about the truth behind all of the events from last month.
Fuwa sighed quietly and nodded towards the young woman sitting beside her. “Thank you, I needed to hear those words to know how strong I'm meant to be.” There was another brief pause in conversation before he suddenly began chuckling to himself. The sound startled Fuwa, causing her to tilt her head in confusion. Kasai glanced over at the dark blued-haired girl before replying to her questions with a smile.
“Sorry, I guess I forgot to mention that I'm pretty damn good at helping people feel better when they're upset.” She laughed lightly as she reached out with her right hand and placed it against the top of Fuwa's left shoulder. Although Fuwa looked somewhat surprised, she couldn't suppress her grin at her touch. “I believe that it's probably time for us to start heading back now. We have work tomorrow.”
She blinked blankly at her for a few moments before looking around, realizing that she had somehow forgotten to tell anyone else that she planned on coming over to Nagomi's. Looking back at her ex-girlfriend, she could only shrug helplessly as she apologized profusely. “You're right. Sorry about that. I must have been so preoccupied that I didn't realize I'd forget to tell everyone about this. Thank you for reminding me though.” She then stood up from her chair. “Um, do you mind if I use your bathroom for a few minutes to freshen up before we leave?”
Nagomi nodded. “Go ahead.”
“Thanks.” Fuwa bowed briefly in gratitude before turning around and walking towards the direction of the bathroom. When she reached the hallway leading to the bathroom, she quickly entered it before closing the door behind her. She leaned against the door for a minute, trying to compose herself as she struggled to keep her breathing steady. Her heartbeat pounded heavily in her ears as she struggled to calm her rapid breathing. The thought of confronting Nagomi over the phone had crossed her mind earlier on during their conversation on the street, but she wasn't sure how to bring up the subject in a way that wouldn't cause her to look incredibly foolish.
Eventually, she straightened up and decided that it was time to give herself a pep talk in order to prepare herself for the confrontation. It helped to remind herself that this wasn't some sort of game that she was playing to gain information from Nagomi. They weren' t two high school students pretending to date to see who was more popular and which ones they had the least problems with. Instead, they were adults who were facing some of the toughest problems in life. This was an adult issue that they were both involved in. She took a deep breath as she walked through the hallways until she eventually found herself in front of Nagomi's front door. Placing a hand on the handle, she hesitated for a few moments. She knew that the chances of her knocking on the door were slim to none. If she were to knock, Nagomi would definitely open the door and she was sure that she didn't want that to happen. Taking another deep breath, she pushed the handle downwards, slowly opening the door as she peeked her head inside the apartment. Once she saw that the room was empty, she stepped inside the apartment and shut the door gently behind her.
The apartment was relatively quiet aside from the sound of a radio that had been played softly somewhere far away. After placing the backpack down next to the couch, Fuwa removed her coat as well as placing it on the sofa before she made her way over to her bedroom where Nagomi was supposedly sleeping. She knocked on the wall multiple times without receiving any response. After waiting in silence for five whole minutes, she finally gave up on searching her apartment alone. “Nagomi? Are you there?” she called out to the other woman through the thin wall. After hearing nothing back from the other woman in return, she turned around and started making her way to the kitchen, hoping that she might find Nagomi there. While she may not be able to reach Nagomi with her voice, at least she could try reaching her physically. She stopped at the end of the corridor before she slowly opened one of the doors on the opposite side. As soon as she looked inside the room, she saw the same dark-haired beauty she was seeing now.
A sigh escaped her lips as she took another step toward the doorway and spoke. “Are you sleeping now? Because you don't seem to be asleep yet.” Fuwa looked over at the other woman before she spoke up again. “Are you okay? If something happened to you after I left, I swear I won't forgive myself.”
“I'm perfectly fine,” the dark blue-haired beauty replied quietly as she lay in bed with her eyes staring up into the darkness above her.
She sighed quietly as she sat down on the edge of the mattress before she turned to the side to get into a position that would allow her to face the dark blue-haired beauty lying beneath the covers of her bed. “Look… ” She paused for a moment as the raven hair turned onto her stomach before she continued. “You can't go on like this. Things are getting dangerous for both of us. I know you don't want to talk about it with me, but at least let me help you.”
Nagomi stayed silent for a few moments before she let out a deep sigh. “I don't think I have enough strength to carry through this right now.” Her voice remained soft and her tone sounded almost defeated as the corners of her mouth curled upward in what could only have been supposed to be a slight smile, but she seemed to be struggling to muster up the effort to pull it off.
She closed her eyes as she attempted to swallow past the lump in her throat. “If you won't let me help you then you at least need to let me come over to your place occasionally. We can go for a walk together whenever you decide you want. Or even sit on the porch, if it will make you feel safer. Whatever makes you feel better right now.”
A small smirk formed on Nagomi's lips as she slowly turned her head to face the bluenette in the doorway. “That sounds nice.”
“I'm glad that you at least agree to it.” As Fuwa said those words, she felt like she was releasing a huge weight that she had unknowingly been carrying. Even though she hadn't done anything wrong in the situation itself, she still felt that she was responsible for it. In fact, she could've gone to Fuumin and begged him for forgiveness as easily as that. He would've given it to her readily if she had asked nicely. However, she chose instead to confront things head on. Perhaps that was what she deserved. After all, she did betray him. If she wasn't afraid of hurting his feelings, perhaps she would've accepted his forgiveness easily, but instead she chose to hurt him. She didn't care about what he felt, but at least she could apologize.
Her expression softened as she looked over at Nagomi. She could sense that the other girl was feeling conflicted, but she didn't know exactly what she was feeling. The entire scene was confusing, but she could never understand why she felt the way she felt when she saw Nagomi in that state. Even as she approached the dark haired beauty in front of her, she couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that the sight of her caused inside of her heart. Just looking at Nagomi like that felt like she was suffocating her; her chest tightened, her breathing quickened, and her vision blurred. She swallowed hard as she tried to maintain some semblance of her usual composure.
Despite that however, she managed to refrain from crying in front of Nagomi because she knew that it wouldn't have been appropriate in the slightest. Still, the tears started to gather at the corner of her eyes, unable to stop themselves. She tried her best to blink them back, but they just kept on spilling over and spilling down her cheeks. She bit her lip nervously before she cleared her throat and forced the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes away. The last thing she wanted was for Nagomi to notice and question her emotions as well.
She clenched her hands tightly against her skirt as she spoke, the sound of her voice sounding weak and shaky to her own ears. “Nagomi, can you tell me what's really going on?” She watched closely as the other woman shifted in the bed, seemingly uncomfortable with having someone stare at her so intently, despite her attempts at avoiding eye contact with her.
Fuwa heard a faint sniffle from the other woman and wondered whether or not she should say anything else. But she knew that she needed to push forward regardless if the other blonde liked her advances or not. There wasn't much she could say or do now anyway. The sooner she got this problem resolved, the better.
For several moments she listened anxiously for any sign that Nagomi might start answering her questions, but nothing came. She waited for another couple of minutes and then began wondering if she should leave before she changed her mind. But then, unexpectedly, Nagomi reached up with her left arm and pulled the sleeve up over her shoulder so that the fabric rested along her upper arm before she looked up at Fuwa. Without prompting, Fuwa slowly extended her hand and placed her index finger under Nagomi's chin. Slowly, her index finger began to move downward across the surface of Nagomi's skin, tracing a line from the base of Nagomi's neck along her collarbone, toward the top of her bra. As the finger descended further and further down, she could hear the sound of her own heart beating wildly within her chest as she moved slowly downward until it reached the center of Nagomi's body, stopping for a brief moment there before moving down slightly toward the curve of her breasts. She stared at Nagomi's chest as she traced a line along the curves of her biceps and lightly grazed the edge of one breast while keeping a gentle grip around the other. Once Fuwa was satisfied that she'd discovered every part of the woman's body, she raised her hand from Nagomi's body so that she could examine the rest of her arm. With a slight hesitation, she carefully ran her thumb over each knuckle before moving it towards the base of the elbow and trailing her fingers all the way down to her fingertips.
As she trailed her fingers downward from Nagomi's elbow to her hand, the raven haired beauty felt herself beginning to sweat as she felt her cheeks heat up a little. Forcing herself not to look up to meet the other woman's gaze, she slowly lowered her arm, which was resting on the blanket underneath them, once more. She slowly removed her fingers from Nagomi's arm as she kept her eyes trained on her hand. A couple of moments later, she heard Nagomi shift around once more, but instead of speaking, she remained still, waiting patiently for the other woman to speak.
It took nearly an hour before Nagomi finally broke the silence, letting out a long sigh. “I'm sorry I made you worry.”
With that single sentence, Fuwa finally dared to meet Nagomi's eyes as she smiled sadly before turning her head towards the window. It was completely dark outside and it reminded her how time really passed. The moonlight that had filled up the room just seconds ago disappeared, giving way to the night sky. The stars were no longer shining brightly. All of the lights in the neighbourhood had faded as well, leaving her and the other woman standing in complete darkness.
When Fuwa had first arrived home, she had noticed how quiet it was. Normally, she would've immediately went over and lit up the entire house with some sort of light, but she decided that doing so would only make the situation worse. So, after putting her suitcase down near the door, she went to her bathroom and splashed some cold water onto her face, hoping to refresh herself and make herself look somewhat presentable.
After that, she headed downstairs and opened the front door. Before she shut it behind her, she glanced back at her house, but soon decided not to linger on it. Instead, she returned her attention to heading straight toward the main road that lead to Fuwamori High. It may appear unimportant or insignificant to others, but Fuwa found comfort in being able to travel in this direction whenever she wanted. She always liked walking by herself to clear her thoughts. She would often find herself lost within thought as she walked and even though she rarely realized it, she preferred the silence that accompanied walking alone.
She took a moment to stretch her arms as she walked, relishing in the cool air caressing her skin for what she assumed was the last time. She breathed in deeply as she exhaled slowly and let herself fall in step beside her mother who was sitting at the sidewalk across the street from her house. It wasn' s until her mother spoke that she turned her head towards her mom with her eyebrows knit together.
“Did you bring everything?”
Fuwa nodded before reaching into her coat pocket and pulling out her wallet. She placed her driver's license inside and handed it over to her mom with a smile. Her mom inspected it for a few seconds before handing it back.
Her mother looked at her daughter for a second before shaking her head. “You'll need to take these to a doctor, don't forget. You're too young to drive without an adult present after all. And besides, it won't take them too long to check up on you if that's what you're worried about.”
Fuwa rolled her eyes and groaned a little. She hated doctors. They always seemed to take forever to check up on you when you were sick. No matter how many times you reassured them that you were okay and that nothing was wrong. “Mom...”
“Just humor me for once and try not to drive too recklessly, alright?” Her mother said sternly. It was obvious that her mother had a soft spot for her. Maybe it was just because she was used to seeing her daughter get into scrapes like this all the time. “But don' be late or I'll give you my famous apple pie again,” she added playfully, smiling kindly.
Fuwa couldn't help but laugh softly. “Thanks Mom! I promise I won't go anywhere without you watching out for me. I love you,” she replied sincerely, causing her mother to blush a bit before hugging her.
“Don't make promises you can't keep, darling.” After they separated, she continued, “Go on and finish your homework. Don't want you getting any bad grades now, right?”
Fuwa snorted, “I doubt that will happen.”
Although she doubted that her grades would suffer from her mother's strict standards of perfection, she figured that she could always ask one of her teachers to help her study, even if they probably would think that she was being a brat for asking.
“Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, Mom!” she said as she walked past her mother who stood up before following after her. “Goodbye!” she called out over her shoulder.
As her mother waved goodbye, Fuwa felt her lips tug upward into a small smile. Though their conversation earlier hadn't gone particularly well, her parents were actually trying their hardest to show her that they cared about her. Despite all that happened years ago, she knew that they loved her unconditionally. In fact, she knew that her parents adored her unconditionally and wished for nothing but the best for their youngest child.
The sun was slowly sinking towards the horizon as it cast a warm orange glow upon the earth. As the light illuminated the streets of Tokyo and created small shadows and patterns on the ground, something occurred to Fuwa in that moment. She stopped in her tracks as she glanced up at the sky above her and tried to focus her vision and her thoughts. Something didn't feel quite right to the brunette. She couldn't pinpoint exactly why she was so concerned. Perhaps it was just her imagination, but she didn't necessarily believe that it was that simple of a reason. The only thing she did know was that it wasn't the time nor place that caused her discomfort, however.
It was more a feeling that she had been feeling for weeks now. That same feeling she had felt when she was looking at Nagomi just a couple of days ago. But unlike before, the feelings were stronger now than they have ever been in the four years she had known the woman. She could feel herself leaning slightly in the direction of Nagomi's body, as if she were unconsciously drawn to the person sitting a few feet away from her. She couldn' t understand what it was that was making it feel as if she was being pulled in two different directions at the same time.
“I love you, Mother.”
“I love you, Father.”
She remembered how her father's eyes crinkled with joy and happiness when he saw her, and his deep brown eyes glistened with pride. He held himself very differently compared to her mother who was much taller than both her father and her younger brother. She always wondered whether her father saw her resemblance to him through her features or her looks, but it didn't matter either way. He was proud of her regardless of where she came from, and despite having her own family that was much closer to him than anyone else in the world, she felt as if she wasn't truly loved in the same way that her parents were. Perhaps that was the real reason she never got close enough to anyone to be close to someone like her mother. If there was such a thing as unconditional love, it certainly wasn't given freely to just anyone. It was a privilege that people were born with, and it was the privilege of having that privilege bestowed on them that gave them a special kind of freedom and selflessness. The fact that her father was willing to share everything he knew about her with the other members of their family, including her mother, meant that he was truly blessed with a unique relationship with her. There was no one else but him who would share his knowledge with someone other than himself. And although she had shared so many things with Nagomi and Tanaka, she could only imagine what else her father might've told them.
“I'll see you tomorrow morning. Goodnight, Mother. Love you.”
She turned away from them before closing the door behind her and heading down the porch steps. She walked down the pathway toward the main road, taking one last glance backwards. It was at that point she realised that, whatever it was that was holding her back, she would deal with it eventually. The fact that it was going to affect her ability to continue living was something that she wouldn't allow to keep her from moving forward. No matter how difficult or dangerous it would be for her, she couldn't allow herself to stop now. For some reason she felt like she needed to keep moving forward, she needed to push forward because she knew in her heart that something important awaited her.
A familiar feeling began to stir within her as she started to walk down the street. The strange sensations began to spread throughout her system, causing her hands to grow increasingly sweaty as she tried to contain the excitement that was growing within her. She was finally going home. Home. This was where she belonged. Not at Fuwa Elementary School; home was wherever she felt the most comfortable being. It was true that this trip home could end in another fight, but she felt certain that she and her siblings could easily overcome anything that was thrown at them, and even worse yet, she felt confident that she'd be able to come out victorious. After all, she always did.
‘So what am I waiting for then?’
With newfound determination, she stepped outside of Fuwa's gate and crossed onto the sidewalk which ran along the street, making her walk further and farther away from her home.
‘I have to hurry; I'm going to miss curfew!’
When she reached the intersection, she immediately turned left before continuing down the sidewalk. Once she made it back to the highway, the first thing she noticed was that there were already cars approaching the intersection. While she couldn't see all of them, she spotted a large SUV parked across from hers before a man stepped out of it and headed straight for her.
“Hey there! You must be Fuwa! Your dad said we should pick you up here at 8:30 p.m.,” he said as soon as he got close enough. “Do you remember the address of the apartment? We need you to tell us where it is before you leave!”
“Of course I do! It's right over there in front.” Fuwa pointed behind her at the building located across from them, where she had been standing less than a minute earlier.
“Great, great! Let's go then!” said the man, turning around in order to start walking back to his car. But Fuwa was unable to move at that moment, rooted to the spot as if she had been struck by lightning. Even if the man was talking to her, she still hadn't realized what was happening. And the more the seconds ticked by, the more panicked she grew. Her breathing suddenly became uneven and ragged, her stomach churning wildly. What was going on? Was this really happening to her? Was she dreaming? Or was this really just a dream? She looked anxiously up at the building again and found herself staring blankly at the sign hanging above its entrance. ‘9F. Apartment 7B.' She stared at that name for a good ten minutes, unable to tear her gaze away, as though hypnotized. Eventually, she forced her eyes open and blinked a few times.
Then, all of a sudden, she remembered what had happened earlier and she felt panic setting in. She grabbed hold of the strap of her backpack while digging through it frantically. The contents fell out, falling onto the floor and onto the pavement below. The papers scattered everywhere and the books dropped to the ground as well. She let out a cry when she found what she was looking for, but froze when she realised that it wasn't her diary. Her heart started beating fast as realization dawned upon her, sending cold shivers throughout her entire body. Why would her book have fallen out? It hadn't seemed like the diary had been affected at all.
Before her mind could register what was happening, she heard footsteps coming closer. The footsteps stopped when she felt a hand grip hers from behind. Looking at her hand in bewilderment, she noticed that the owner of the hands was none other than the man who was now holding her hand and staring into her eyes.
“Fuwa, calm down! We're going home, okay? Just breathe with me,” the man said softly, letting her go.
After regaining a bit of composure, Fuwa nodded her head and followed her captor as he guided her out of the neighborhood and back to her house. She was completely unaware of everything that had just transpired. They continued to walk together until they arrived at the destination. As soon as the man unlocked her house's door, Fuwa quickly rushed inside and hurriedly closed the door after slamming it shut. The man chuckled lightly when he entered the apartment after her, and after locking the door, he stood next to the sofa and waited patiently for her to join him in the living room. When she finally appeared, she stood opposite him and gazed nervously down at her hands which she had brought up to her mouth.
“You know, I'm sure your family would be happy to hear that you're back safely.” The man smiled reassuringly.
“Are you sure?” She asked hesitantly. “Because if not, you don't need to explain yourself to me. I'll take care of myself. It's fine. Everything will be okay…”
The woman paused as she glanced at the floor once again. “But it won't be.”
“Why not? Did something happen? I can help!” He exclaimed as he stepped closer to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.
“No, it's nothing like that. It's just…”
“Is it related to what happened earlier today? Are you hurt? Are you scared? Should I go call your parents-”
“No!” She shouted, cutting him off with a glare. “There' s no need to call my parents because it wasn't anythin' they did!”
“If you say so...but if you ever want to talk about it, I'm all ears. You're not alone; you never will be.”
It took a few moments before Fuwa finally managed to muster up the courage to speak again. “Can I ask a question?”
“Sure. Anything you want,” he replied with a smile.
“You said that you knew my mom, right? You were talkin' about her before we left home. Can you tell me about her? Please?”
His smile instantly faded from his lips when he heard what she had asked him. All the happiness that he felt when thinking about his wife disappeared within mere moments of hearing those words that he had uttered to her. The last thing that he wanted to hear was that question. It wasn't a subject he wished to discuss with anyone, especially not at this time of night, so why was she asking about her mother so late at night? The last thing he wanted to do was get caught up in some sort of argument. It would mean having to explain to her why her mother had been taken by the police after all these years. He sighed heavily as he shook his head. “Fuwa, it's not a good time….”
“What does that mean?”
“Look, I understand that it's hard for you to comprehend right now, but there are some things that you need to understand. There's nothing wrong with wanting to know the truth. But this isn't the place for that discussion. It's too much of a risk for both of us. Besides, you don't even know her yet; you've only seen her at parties and gatherings. There's plenty of time in the future when you meet her for yourself.”
"Is that really true?" she asked him, her tone slowly becoming more desperate. "Will she really come to meet us someday?"
"She might," he responded quietly.
“And if she doesn't? Then what?”
“Then you'll just have to wait a little longer."
“That's not an answer at all! I don't understand at all! Is it possible to meet her at one time?”
The man paused briefly before sighing heavily. With a sad expression on his face, he shook his head and answered her question. “Unfortunately not. But I'll make sure to let you know when she comes. In the meantime, please think about what I told you and how you feel about it. It may be best for you and your father if you stay away from the city center for a while, at least until we're sure that our friend will be safe. Do you understand?”
“Yes. I understand.” After saying her response, she began walking toward the kitchen without waiting for him, leaving him standing alone in the living room. But he didn't stop her; instead he simply watched her leave. After she had gotten as far as the hallway and disappeared through one of the doors leading upstairs, he finally turned around and walked slowly back to the elevator. When the elevator doors finally opened, he entered, pressed the button for the parking garage, and headed toward his car without giving it another thought.
The drive home was uneventful. When the man finally pulled up in front of the house, she got out of the car, waved goodbye to him, closed the door, and locked it. Without bothering to take her shoes off or her bag off, she went straight to her room and shut the door behind her. Before she changed into a pair of pajamas, she sat down at her desk and pulled her diary out of its drawer. Once it was open, she flipped through the pages until she reached the last one that had contained his last entry. Reaching inside her pocket, she retrieved her pen, tore a piece off the corner of the paper, then wrote a message:
‘Please forgive me.’
* * *
“Well, I certainly hope that you're not blaming your friend for what happened, Mr. Smith,” said Mrs. Smith. The look on her face indicated that she clearly disapproved of the way that Fuwa had behaved. Her eyes narrowed slightly, as though she was trying to figure out whether to believe him or not. However, she soon changed her mind and decided to change the subject. “I assume that you haven't met her yet, then.”
“I have met her, yes,” Mr. Smith replied curtly. “I saw her at a party last weekend. She was nice enough to introduce herself to me, although I couldn't say the same for my wife. She was rather unpleasant when I first encountered her. Not to mention that she kept pestering me afterwards.”
He gave his wife a sideways glance. She had gone very pale during the brief conversation that he had just had with her. If he had bothered to listen to what she'd had to say, then he probably wouldn't have believed her anyway. After all, who wouldn't be afraid when being approached by such a forceful lady? That aside, there was still the issue that she hadn't shown them the note that the girl was carrying. He looked over at Mrs. Smith, who was already watching him expectantly. When it became clear that she wouldn't budge from her position, he spoke again:
“May I ask what this is all about?”
“I see no reason for you not to know. So, if you insist that you must know, then it seems pointless for me to keep anything from you.”
“Alright then, what's this all about?” He raised his eyebrows slightly as he crossed his arms and stared her right in the eyes challengingly.
Mrs. Smith hesitated briefly before replying, “You should know that when your friend came into the office earlier today with her sister, she also brought along a letter. That letter is now sitting on the table over there.”
Looking in the direction Mrs. Smith had pointed at, Mr. Smith saw that her husband was indeed referring to the piece of paper sitting innocently on the wooden surface beside the tea cup. He immediately understood what she meant, so he made his way over to the small table and picked up the envelope lying there. He opened it and pulled out the single sheet of parchment resting on top of the folded papers inside. Once he had read the contents, he frowned, looking up towards the woman who had been patiently waiting for his reaction since he had finished reading the letter. He looked at her, a hint of annoyance present in his voice when he spoke, “So you found that strange too.”
“Strange? No. Strange is a relative term. What I found odd was the fact that she was willing to give it to you willingly. It's unusual behavior for someone whose name ends with 'F.' It makes me wonder if she trusts you.”
“Maybe she does,” he murmured. He stood silently for several seconds before continuing. “We'll talk later about this matter,” he stated coldly. With that, he turned around and started heading toward the door.
“Where are you going?!” his wife called out sharply.
“Out. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? Why tomorrow?” Mrs. Smith questioned, confused.
“I have some work that needs attending to,” he replied nonchalantly, although he could see the slight frown etched onto his wife's face. “Don’t worry, I'll see you tomorrow.”
“Wait…what about Fuwa? Where is she now? And why did you bring her to my apartment in the first place? Are you planning something?”
“Nothing is planned right now. She's sleeping right now,” he responded calmly. “I didn't want her to disturb you when you weren't feeling well because I knew that you needed sleep. That's why I brought her here. She's fine. She'll be alright. Goodnight, Mrs. Smith.”
With that, Mr. Smith closed the door behind him, grabbed his coat from the coat rack located in the entrance hall, and made his way out of the building. Once he had stepped outside, he quickly hailed a cab and told the driver where to take him. Once they arrived, he paid him the fare and got out of the vehicle. He walked across the sidewalk and headed toward the entrance gate to the underground parking lot, which was located between the main road and a small area filled with trees. Once inside the underground parking lot, he noticed the black car parked right in front of him. A few minutes later, he had parked his car, removed his coat and hung it on the side, then got back into his vehicle and drove away. As he passed by a row of residential buildings in the area, he looked up toward the window of a house directly next to him. From the moment that he caught sight of it, he could hear a child giggling excitedly and running about the house. For some reason, it reminded him of a little boy that he once knew. A son of the people that lived there, but unfortunately lost to the darkness.
A year ago.
On that day, he wasn't able to do anything more than watch as their little boy, who had been playing outside, had been suddenly hit with a heavy stone thrown by his own mother. He had fallen on the ground, unable to get up again after hitting his head against the ground hard enough to cause him severe damage. It was then that he felt as though the weight had been taken off his shoulders, allowing him to breathe easily. And so he did.
But now, he remembered that day vividly as though he were experiencing it all again. He could hear that sound of his son crying even in his dreams, even after so many years. His heart tightened whenever he heard those cries, and every time he saw them, he felt an urge to save him despite knowing that he would never be able to. Yet at the same time, he realized that there was nothing he could do. This was something that he could never change. And he couldn't do much more either. The only thing he could really do was pray that his child would eventually recover enough from that terrible accident to leave the house. To live the life that he deserved.
However, as much as he wanted to continue to hold onto that naive hope, he couldn't. Because if he was being honest with himself, the truth was that he knew that his child was dead, and that he would spend the rest of his life grieving for him. That's exactly what happened when you lost your son.
That's why every second that passed seemed like eternity to him. Every second that he continued to wait for the child to come to his senses and realize how unfair life truly was. He waited, hoping that his prayers had been answered, praying to whatever god might be listening, praying that the child had learned the lesson that he needed to learn. And yet, he always knew that he would never get what he wanted; he never received his prayer answered. Eventually, he realized that he just couldn't hold on to hope any longer.
After that day, he stopped praying. He gave up. He just tried to move on, just accept that it was time to move on from the tragedy that had occurred. But it was impossible for him to ignore the pain that lingered inside of him every single day. Always I love you Good Bye , Little One, he thought bitterly as he sat in the cab, clutching the sheets of paper tightly in his hand. How many times had he read that piece of paper over the course of the past three years? There was no way that he would ever be able to forget the sight of the small boy being brutally murdered. That day, he'd almost given in to despair. Almost given up his whole world – except for the one that held the only family that he had left. The only family that he could count on. In his life, there was no other family that he had known better. No one whom he would trust with the secrets hidden deep within his heart. And yet, everything had come crashing down upon him when he realized what he'd done.
Even though he hadn't been able to go through the pain that had accompanied losing one of the most precious things that he had in the whole world. Because in the end, he had betrayed his best friend's daughter. Even though he had tried his best to shield her from all of the bad news, she had nevertheless managed to notice the signs of the approaching end. And thus, her death was inevitable. He should have protected her better. She shouldn't have died, but he had failed her. And that was something that he could never forgive himself for. That's why, in spite of all the pain and anguish that he suffered during that horrible time, he refused to allow himself the luxury of taking another chance on anyone else in the world. Not only was he too afraid of being betrayed, but he was already so broken that he wouldn't dare let someone else break the fragile pieces of his soul even further. So he took all of his misery out on his wife, who had been doing her best to try to comfort him in order to avoid making him feel worse. After what had happened, he was sure that he would never again find comfort in any form of physical contact with another human being. At least until the time that he would die.
And so, he had stayed silent for the sake of protecting her. He kept her safe, even though he knew full well that he was only keeping himself alive. He knew that if he dared to open his mouth to say anything or even breathe, he would fall apart completely. Just thinking about saying anything that might lead to the knowledge that his father had possessed his identity had already caused him more harm than good. So he kept quiet for fear of hurting her once again. That day, he had decided to stay silent instead. To not utter a word. Only watching as his life slowly crumbled around him. He was powerless to stop it. If only he had said something. Well i have to go now. Please don't follow me and make sure Fuwa doesn't get hurt, he had muttered as he made his exit out the building and towards the subway station.
The train ride back home was long and painful. Despite everything, he still ended up falling asleep for a while after the train had arrived back at its destination. However, he was rudely woken up by the harsh jolt of the train stopping. He looked out the window, noticing that there was an odd number of passengers boarding the train. Most people were probably rushing home after a long day of work. When the doors opened, the people rushed out of the train, some even shouting as they did. He followed suit, getting off the train and heading toward his office. Upon arriving there, he entered into the elevator before pressing the button to go to the floor below his office. Once the elevator reached the correct level, the door slid open, and he began walking down the hallway. He had never actually entered this particular part of the building, but he had heard quite a bit about it due to the amount of gossip regarding this particular building. People talked about the strange occurrences occurring in the building, some even calling it haunted. He could never understand that kind of stuff. If something had happened here, then it was likely because of some unfortunate event. Like the fire that destroyed the entire building two months earlier. But then again, since when had ghosts cared about such trivial matters? Since forever, apparently.
When he finally reached his destination, he knocked on the door before entering the room. Once he entered, he locked the door behind him, put his bag down next to the chair, then went up to his desk and sat down. He then pulled out a folder filled with papers which he began filling in on. As he worked, he couldn't help but keep glancing up at the clock hanging above his desk. The minute hand moved forward, passing a minute, then another, then another, and soon he realized that it was already ten o'clock at night. He checked his watch. Ten thirty-three PM. Time for the children to start playing outside. Still, he didn't get up from his desk, continuing to fill out the paperwork on the table, and as he did, a familiar name appeared on the screen of his computer.
He glanced up at it a couple of seconds later to see a name that he was all too familiar with, and he felt his heart sinking into his stomach, as he stared back at the image of his former assistant, Risa Yamada. Her face was pale and lifeless, staring blankly back at him. Her long dark hair hung loosely against her neck. Her eyes were closed. He could imagine her sitting on a comfortable couch, reading a book while her young sons played nearby. For him to walk in and ruin that image in just one short month was simply unthinkable. Yet, he had to admit that he could imagine what that scene could've looked like, what it would've felt like for her to stand in the middle of the hallway with no one to greet her as she walked by. She must have been confused as to why she couldn't find anyone coming out of the apartment. Then a voice echoed loudly through the apartment, asking everyone who was in the living room who was missing: "Where is everyone?" and Risa had answered immediately: "I'm here." As soon as she'd said those words, however, the voice had become angry and demanding: "Why aren't you answering my question?! Where is everybody?!" By the time Risa had finished her sentence, tears had started to flow freely down her face as she pleaded with her mother, begging her to answer her. "Tell me where everybody is!" she'd shouted, and that was when she fell unconscious. Her mother hadn't said a word in response to the woman's questions, nor did she move away from the couch that she'd been seated on for a very long time, just staring at the television set, her lips moving silently as she spoke to herself. But then, right as the person who was speaking had been about to hang up the phone and leave the conversation, his own mother's voice rang out clearly, cutting through the silence of the room and causing the man to gasp softly, dropping the receiver on the phone which lay on the countertop. He stood stock still, staring at the telephone, frozen as he listened to his mother speak. He could remember clearly every word that she had said to her lover, telling her to call the police and inform them that they needed to look for their little girl. That she was dead. And that she couldn't bring her back. He recalled how she told him that she would never see her son again. She promised, that she wasn't going to go back there anymore. She was never going to look at that place again. His heart broke, and he wished that she could have spared him from having to suffer like this. All alone. Abandoned.
It had taken hours for the police to come into action, hours that he spent crying as his mother was forced to undergo a medical exam and be examined by doctors that she didn't want to believe that she had lost her child to illness. After everything they found out in the examination room, it was clear to everyone that it was the case. It was true that her heart had stopped beating. There was nothing left of her except a corpse. They had told his mother that she had passed away. That the autopsy report had stated that it was suicide, and he knew that the woman was devastated at hearing the cruel news. But he couldn't help feeling relieved. It meant that he would finally get rid of the evidence that she had committed suicide that day. But there was still a large part of her that remained. A part of her that wouldn't ever fully disappear. Even though he tried to fight the urge to cry whenever it was brought up, he still couldn't help himself from letting the tears roll down his cheeks as the thoughts came flooding into his mind. The memories of his daughter's beautiful hazel eyes and bright smile still lingered in the back of his mind. He always wondered when he would be able to see her again. When the next time that he would see her again would be. But now he wouldn't.
His fingers tightened around the edge of his desk as he stared at the picture frame resting on top of it that held the picture of his daughter. Although, there wasn't much of a resemblance between the two of them, he couldn't deny that their facial features were almost identical. They shared the same pair of light brown eyes, and the same nose. They also had the same straight, slender nose, although hers was longer than his. Their smiles were identical as well. She had always smiled brightly when they saw each other. They had always laughed together. And he knew that he should let her rest now. That she wouldn't be waking up any time soon. So he lifted the picture frame gently into his hands and stood up from his seat, placing the photo frame gently onto his desk before making his way over to his bed, lying down on it and looking up towards the ceiling of the bedroom as he did so. He thought back to what had happened that fateful day.
It was almost eleven years ago that that fateful day. He couldn't remember exactly how it happened, but he remembered that he had been working in an orphanage with his younger sister at that moment. Everything seemed normal, as usual. He could hear the cries of a baby in the background. A child that would be born a year after him. He had heard countless stories about kids in the orphanage that had been adopted, so he had gotten used to seeing that child whenever he walked past the door. But he hadn't expected things to be different with her. He had seen her around the orphanage, but he'd never given her much attention. Why, anyway? Wasn't it a little strange for a child to be living there alone without parents? He would just assume that she must've belonged to someone else. Afterall, what parent would adopt a three year old? No, it wasn't possible. Besides, who would care about a kid who was being ignored and treated badly? Who would take her to the doctor or take her grocery shopping or do anything nice? Who would give her toys and dolls instead of food? Who would feed her and clean up after her once she was done using whatever bathroom she used? Who would pay for her schooling and clothes? Who would care for her until she was sixteen, only leaving her for a few days during the summer months? Who would make sure she didn't wander off? What parent would allow her to be so careless? That's what he thought.
That's what he had thought. Now, though, it turned out that that wasn't entirely true. Before he had come across this child, he never even knew that she existed. She hadn't even existed when the police came to ask for his help finding her parents. He had only known her when they had told him. They had told him that they were looking for their baby girl named Risa. They had asked him if he had any idea why a little girl such as her might suddenly be left alone at an orphanage. He had said that he didn't know. He claimed that he hadn't heard anything about that happening before. In fact, he was certain that he never had seen this child before. That she must've arrived here by accident. He didn't know whether to believe this statement or not, but he supposed that it was best if he didn't ask any more questions. So the detectives had taken that information for what it was worth and had thanked him politely. He didn't have to tell them anything else. They were the ones who should've been thanking him. Instead, they had gone back home and continued to investigate. He was thankful for that. He didn't think that he could've managed to keep everything inside of him if he had told them anything more about Risa. That night had ended up lasting several hours, and he couldn't quite figure out what exactly went wrong that evening. It seemed that something went wrong in some way. But that was the way things always happened in his life. Everything would eventually come back to bite him in the ass one way or another.
But it didn't happen like that that night, he thought. It certainly didn't turn out the way that it did. Not that he would say that the night had turned out bad, but he had expected a lot better of himself. Of course the cops wanted to ask questions. The reason behind it all probably had more to do with them thinking that they had caught a break that night. But he hadn't told them the truth. He really hadn't told them anything. If he had, they would've never found that baby. He might've been able to find her in less than five minutes, even, instead of waiting for hours, searching for days and weeks and months for somebody with whom he felt as close as a father and mother. But since that night, he hadn't heard a single thing about her. No matter how hard he looked, he had no luck. Not a single soul had seen her. Nobody had spoken to her. Everybody knew her name because she had grown up surrounded by children all around her age who had been taken away from their families and given her new ones who didn't know who they were or where they had come from, but nevertheless cared for them. She had been loved by nobody. She had been abandoned by nobody. And yet nobody had heard a single sound coming from that little girl who was supposed to be their salvation. Because she had been taken away. Just as she had promised.
And now, sitting by his desk, holding a photograph of his little girl, trying to keep himself from losing it completely, he thought of how it would have made his wife feel had he told the police about his wife's situation. That night, they would have been unable to sleep at all. They would have had nightmares every night as they waited for the police to appear at their doorstep again, asking them the same question again and again and again. Would they like to press charges against him and the woman, the woman who had killed their innocent baby girl? Or would they like to release her as soon as the police released her? How much time did she really have? Two days had already passed since she had disappeared, and they still hadn't found her. She may very well die before morning. And then, they would still end up with the child's body and would still need to identify her, which they didn't seem to want to do. She may end up being identified. They may never be able to find her.
He closed his eyes tightly as he shook his head from side to side as he thought about those words that they had said to him. Those people wanted to take her away from him forever. It was all his fault. He was the one who had allowed her to become separated from the rest of her family. If he hadn't been so distracted by a new project that he hadn't paid any attention to what he had put up as the front desk, then none of this would have happened. They would never have been called upon to deal with this mess. None of these things would've happened. He was the one responsible for all of this. And that was the last straw. His emotions began to surge up to the surface of his consciousness as his fists clenched tightly at the sides of his desk, and a loud sob escaped from him as he finally broke down. Tears slowly streamed down his face as he tried desperately to blink them back, his hand trembling as his knuckles turned white. It hurt more than it ever had before. This pain. This feeling inside of him that he was being ripped apart from the inside. All he felt. All he felt at this moment was the pain that the loss of his little girl had caused. It hurt him. But at the same time, he couldn't imagine being able to go through the same pain as he did now. As he would go through the pain of watching her disappear in his arms. He couldn't bear to watch that little girl, that little girl whose face lit up when she smiled, vanish from sight. Not again. He had lost enough people already that year. Enough people that he never thought he would be going through again. And yet here he was, watching his daughter disappear one final time. The same way she did every time that he saw her little face light up with a smile, the same way she did every time he saw her bright, sparkling eyes glimmering, the same way he always saw her smile when she was happy and carefree. He wished he had been able to see that smile. Even if it were the last thing he saw. He could've saved her if he had only noticed that something was wrong sooner. But what was done was done and it would never change. All he could do now is wish that things had been different. That nothing horrible had ever happened to her. All he could do was pray that this wouldn't happen to her. He prayed that this won't happen to any of the other people who would come into contact with her. He hoped fervently that he wasn't the only person who would go through the pain of finding a tiny baby girl with golden hair disappearing mysteriously one day, along with the parents. He hoped desperately that his wife was alive and that she would be reunited with her daughter.
The sun rose on the next day, and although the news that they had found that small child didn't reach the ears of anyone except the two policemen standing outside of the orphanage at 6 o'clock sharp that morning. They were surprised to see how quickly their search had led them towards the location that they were hoping for. At first, they couldn't even believe it, but when they realized that they had found that child, a grin grew upon their faces and tears began running down their faces once more. For the first time in years, the two men felt that they had succeeded. But there was more. Much more to it all. There were more missing children and mothers who didn't know how their own children got lost. Their story of grief. There were many cases of children growing up and disappearing without a trace. Cases of kids who simply vanished one day, leaving everyone wondering what had happened to them and whether they were still alive. Some of them were reported missing within a few hours after the disappearance. Sometimes not even a single clue appeared. The children just vanished. One day, you'd look for them only to discover that they were never missing at all. The police had also discovered a number of bodies among the victims and their remains were never recovered. Many times, the children were never returned to their families. But each time, a few of the children found their way back home to their mothers. Most children never made it to adulthood. It seemed that the police were constantly looking for a miracle that wasn't going to arrive in their lives.
In spite of all that had occurred, they had been successful and their efforts had proven to be fruitful. The two policemen took pride in having finally found the one piece of evidence to prove to the world that a serial killer was roaming loose in the city. For years, they had believed that it was impossible that they were dealing with a murderer. That was until they finally found the proof they needed. It wasn't long before they would have found out where he was. They didn't have to wait too long. He wouldn't dare try to hide his whereabouts anymore. After all that had happened, he surely knew that his life would be threatened the moment they found him once more. Sooner rather than later. He would probably even make some kind of attempt to run as soon as he realized what they were doing. The fact that the murderer hadn't fled yet gave them the chance to catch him easily. And when it came time for him to face them, there was absolutely no doubt that he wouldn't be able to escape from their hands.
"So we're gonna arrest him today? Aren't we?" The question slipped from their lips as soon as they had finished talking about their findings. The two officers looked down at the photograph they had taken. "It seems that it looks like our work here isn't over yet."
"That's right," answered the first policeman with a slight nod, turning around to leave while he held the photograph tightly between his fingers. "We'll have to follow him all the way home before we can catch him."
As he walked back downstairs with one last glance at the picture of the little girl that they had found among the rubble, he felt his mind start spinning around again. All the details were beginning to come back. They had searched all night, even though it had rained quite heavily. And then they had gone to the orphanage and had asked all of the adults there about a missing little girl with golden curls, a smile like sunshine and green eyes. They had asked each one of them separately. And they had received various responses. Some of them weren't very helpful either. The majority of them were just trying to pass off the blame for an unknown reason onto someone else. Some of the parents hadn't been very forthcoming either and didn't seem to understand why they had been questioned the way they had. None of them had been able to tell the police anything. And so they decided to move on to another house and continue checking everywhere that had been searched in case they'd missed some clues about her. Maybe one of the residents had seen something or someone suspicious. Or perhaps one of them had heard her voice somewhere. In order to get a better idea of their location, they had started searching the area close to where they had last left her. And they had finally reached the place, but the police had discovered that the little girl whom they were looking for had vanished without a trace. The man who had been working at the orphanage hadn' t had any information to give them. Neither had anyone from the neighbors whom they had talked to in the past. They weren't expecting any answers from anyone. Especially since she had disappeared. Everyone was scared. Every parent was terrified that it might happen to them if they didn't find her immediately. It would mean death, and no one knew how that child had gotten herself all the way across the ocean without anyone helping her. How could that have possibly happened? How could she have survived? No one knew.
It was almost noon by the time that they had finished speaking with the people that lived near the orphanage. They didn't feel as tired as they had felt earlier, though. Instead of taking a break, they decided to walk over to the orphanage and check out the room that her parents had given to her. Her mother had written everything in detail for them on the sheet of paper in front of them. The woman hadn't known much about how the girl had been abducted, or what had really happened to her. But she had written it all down anyway. The man was sitting on the table at the end of the room and the officer placed the photograph beside him while he opened the door and stepped out of the room. He turned around and went straight outside before closing the door behind himself. The moment he did, however, he stopped dead in his tracks for a second, unable to believe what was right in front of him. The man's body fell forward as he leaned against the wall with both of his hands clutching his heart and breathing heavily. His knees shook uncontrollably underneath him. When the officer had entered the room, he had looked directly at the little black envelope and had taken notice of how it had been folded neatly and neatly closed. He assumed that she was holding on to it. He figured that the note she had scribbled on it had been addressed to someone. But it didn't say who. He wondered why she hadn't given her address instead of writing it down. Then it clicked in his head. He remembered reading something about the girl being picked up somewhere in the neighborhood and sent off to somewhere where she could live a good life. Something like that.
He slowly moved his finger over the letter in front of him as he began to read. When his eyes landed on the bottom of the page, he froze completely. He read the words again and again in his head. And he suddenly knew exactly what his sister was going to say. "You are my hope", she had said. She was going to say those exact words right before handing her father the little bag filled with chocolate bar wrappers and lollipops. He had always kept it inside the drawer. Now that he understood what this mysterious child must have meant to his little girl, he understood all the hardships and suffering that she had to face every day. This child who had disappeared without a trace. A girl who had become a mystery. Who disappeared without anyone knowing who she was. A girl who had become a symbol of hope. Someone who had disappeared without even giving her parents any clue about where she had disappeared to. The man who had spent most of his days alone in his lonely flat with his dog was now standing in the same spot, as though frozen in time. The child who had become a symbol of hope and a symbol of his family, was standing on the other side of this door.
For several moments, he couldn't utter a word of utterance. He couldn't even hear the rain falling outside. As he stared at the little black envelope in his hands, he had thought about her. About how this little girl had vanished without a trace and how he was going to have to carry on the search for her as well. It felt so heavy that he actually felt as though it was suffocating him. It weighed so heavy that he felt like he couldn't breathe. Slowly but steadily, the officer raised his hand and reached out toward the door handle. He hesitated. Then he lifted his arm. Just a bit longer he thought. That's all I need to do! Finally, after taking a deep breath, the officer turned his wrist slightly. And he opened the door. He stepped inside.
She was waiting for him behind the door. She was there, in the flesh. There she was. The child that everyone called 'the little blonde angel'. The daughter that everyone loved and cherished because she brought joy into everybody's life. That little blonde angel. The girl with hair that glowed like sunshine. That little girl with eyes that shone like the sun itself whenever she smiled and laughed. That little blonde angel with the sweetest laughter. She was standing in front of him, still smiling. Still looking perfectly happy. Still wearing that bright, beautiful smile. Those big green eyes gazing lovingly at him from within. Her whole figure seemed to light up when he arrived at the entrance of the room. As if she had been waiting and praying for him all these hours. As if she had been crying out his name. As if she was calling him to come and meet her.
The young officer approached cautiously, slowly lifting his arm. Slowly moving it towards the little girl's head. He touched her face gently. He caressed every strand of curly brown hair. He ran his fingertips lightly along her cheekbones. And when his hands finally rested upon her shoulders, he squeezed them tightly as though trying to gather up every last ounce of strength he possessed just in order to keep himself standing upright.
"Hi, sweetheart." His voice sounded hoarse and dry. "I've come to rescue you!"
"Daddy!" Her smile widened, but tears instantly filled her eyes as she threw her arms around his neck. "You came back!"
The man looked at his daughter, his wife and their five children. His gaze wandered through the rooms in which they were gathered. Each one of them seemed to glow under the soft lights of the house. Each one seemed to make him feel warm and content. Like everything was going to be alright. Everything was going to turn out fine. Nothing was going to go wrong now. They had made it. They were going to find that little girl. With her. Together. Just like they had planned. Just like they had promised each other. They had managed to find her, and nothing else mattered. Nothing else mattered anymore. Because they were together now, and no one else would ever harm her or take her away from them again.
They all had to agree on this. Even the youngest. Although none of them wanted to admit it, they had to realize that they were going to have to split up. That the girl would disappear if they stayed together. For years. For decades. They had to let go of one another and start living their own lives. If they remained together, they would only drag each other down with them. Eventually one of them would succumb, and they wouldn't be able to find each other then. It wasn't possible. It was impossible for the three of them to remain together. But there was only one solution for this. There was only one person that could be trusted to stay together. Only one person who would protect the others. Only one person capable of putting an end to this madness. One person who could lead them all to safety.
And the person that he had chosen...he was glad he had done so. For the first time in nearly two years, the man felt a real sense of relief wash over his entire body. He didn't even bother trying to hide his happiness. It was obvious now how relieved he was. The little blonde angel had come home. All he had to do now was to convince her parents to allow them to bring her home. To return to where she belonged. Because they needed to. The others would never survive without their baby sister. They had already gone through hell enough times. If anything, they deserved it. He needed to help them. He needed to make sure that this nightmare had ended long ago. And he wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to feel safe once more. Once more safe than ever before. And he knew he would have to give her back her freedom. Sooner rather than later. No matter how hard things got, he knew that he'd have to make it work somehow. He couldn't lose his daughter again. He just couldn't. Not after what he'd seen happen in that world. Not after what had almost happened.
It was going to be alright. After all, it had worked in the past. When he'd been lost for a very long time. When he had lost himself in the darkness. When he had lost all sense of reason. And when she'd shown herself to him. The young man took one final glance at her, and then he put the letter in his pocket. He didn't know whether the girl could see the piece of paper. He didn't want to waste even a single second on that question. At that moment, the young man realized one thing: He had not forgotten about her, and even if she was gone now, he still wanted to get to know her some day. He wanted to talk to her once more. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he possibly could. He wanted to see her smile one more time. Just once more.