chapter nine
Chapter Nine
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Felix sat next to you, eyes glazed over. Yates had been talking for about 30 minutes now, and while Claire was taking diligent notes, you’d started to imitate Felix. It had been a long day. Tsonu’e was hovering—had been for the last few days. You weren’t sure if she was afraid you’d change your mind about her, or if she would change her mind about you.
You knew that neither of you would, and while her concern was endearing—it was also exhausting. Between Ronal insisting you befriend Ìweii and Yates’ borderline fanaticism, you felt like you needed a vacation
You yawned. Yates’ eyes narrowed, but she didn’t say anything. She couldn’t, for the most part. Your work with the Metkayina made you a little untouchable. If Yates wanted an easy in with them, she needed you to keep building their trust.
And yours, but that part went unmentioned. Ignored.
As it was, you felt pretty confident you could get Felix in. But you were a little nervous about brining the subject up. You were scared of Tsonu’e’s reaction, of Ronal’s.
Ame was not there to vouch for Felix, and while you knew your friends trusted you, you were worried it wouldn’t go far enough.
“Which brings us to the Metkayina.” finished Yates. She gestured to you impatiently, and you stood awkwardly as all the eyes in the room turned to you.
“Uh,” you said, rubbing your arm. “So, the main thing is…”
Your mind went blank. What was the main thing? Don’t piss them off? Yates had already gone over that pretty thoroughly.
You cleared your throat, fidgeting nervously under Yates’ intense gaze, and the clicking of Claire’s pen as she waited for you to speak. “Tsonu’e says that the way of water is—“
Claire interrupted. “Who is Tsonu’e?”
Your cheeks burned. For the most part, you’d done your best to refrain from mentioning the intimate details of the Metkayina. They knew the minimum—things any Na’vi off the street might know. They knew Tonowari was the olo’eyktan, and that Uäloä was the tsahìk. They didn’t know that Uäloä was his mother, and that she was training Ronal to take over for her.
They didn’t know that Uäloä was an old woman—one that wanted to retire and spend her days with her children’s children, but that wouldn’t happen until Ronal was ready. They didn’t know about Ronal beyond her role as tsakarem, they didn’t know her nose crinkled when she laughed or that her spirit sister was named Roa, and that she sung to herself while she worked.
They didn’t know about Tsonu’e, and that she had become so integral to your life that you went to her for advice about everything. That Ronal teased you by calling Tsonu’e your sa’nok.
You didn’t tell them these things. You didn’t tell them that Tsonu’e wanted you to get your first tattoo, that you were one of the people because of Ame. You kept these secrets close to yourself, maybe in part selfishly, but a large part due to fear.
You did not want to be responsible for anyone getting hurt. Ame, Tsonu’e, Ronal—any of the Metkayina.
“Tsonu’e is my teacher,” you finally said, minimizing her role in your life dramatically.
Felix picked then to help you. “The Metkayina are incredibly cagey—Hana is hoping that if she officially becomes one of the people they will allow her to bring in some outsiders.”
You nodded quickly, even though it was unlikely you’d bring anyone aside from Felix. Maybe Dr. Augustine, but she was in the middle of the forest, so that was unlikely.
“How much longer for that?” Yates demanded.
“I’m not sure,” you admitted. According to Tsonu’e, you were technically already Metkayina—by virtue of Ame alone. However—“I’m technically not seen as an adult yet. I need to earn my place in the tribe.”
“How does that happen?” Claire asked.
“I have so do something to prove my worth. Tsonu’e proved her worth by collecting enough clams to feed all the children—warriors have different trials then non warriors.” you said quietly.
“Get on it then,” snapped Yates. You didn’t say anything to that, just bowed your head slightly. Tsonu’e wanted you to work on it too, but you weren’t really sure what you were supposed to do yet.
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Ìweii corned you at dinner that night. Her eyes were sharp and her posture tense. You looked between her and Ronal, feeling painfully awkward. Ronal offered weakly, “Our spirit sisters are sisters.”
Traitor, you thought darkly. You looked at her with pursed lips. Ronal sighed, giving you a pleading look. You missed Ame suddenly, the feeling was sharp in your chest, and you almost lost your breath from how quickly it came on. Your shoulders slumped.
“I see you, Ìweii.” you said weakly. Ronal’s smile almost made up for it—until Ìweii opened her stupid mouth and spoke.
“Yitì is not interested in you,” she hissed. “He only thinks you are different.”
You looked at Ronal pointedly.
“Hana does not know Yitì,” Ronal spoke calmly. “Sky People believe in knowing their partner well before mating.”
Ìweii deflated, like a balloon that had all the air let out. Her face crumpled, and her eyes filled with tears.
“I don’t understand why he likes you and not me,” she cried.
Okay, ouch. Awkwardly, you patted her shoulder. Ronal comforted, “He does not love her, he only—“
“Wants to mate with her!” hissed Ìweii. “You are hideous—a demon in a false body! You have bewitched him.”
She was gone before either of you could reply. You raised your eyebrows. “Maybe next time we start off stronger out of the gate,” you snarked.
Ronal grinned despite the situation, covering her mouth with one hand as she lightly slapped your shoulder with the other.
“Do not laugh,” she chided lightly, still grinning. “She is very hurt by this.”
“I’m not the one calling people hideous demons,” you grouched.
Ronal quickly reached out again, her fingers ghosting over your shoulder as she stumbled out awkwardly, “You are the opposite of both those.”
Your cheeks flushed, and suddenly, you were a little girl in pigtails and muddy tennis shoes—and the prettiest girl in the class had just complimented your smile.
You ducked your head, letting your hair fall around your face. You grabbed Ronal’s hand quickly, before you could change your mind, and told her. “I see you.”
She exhaled slowly. “I see you.”
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Tsonu’e picked up crochet faster then you could teach it, modified it to suit her better too. Currently, she was sitting with her feet dangling in the water, fingers moving quickly as she wove the material carefully.
“How do you make it look so easy,” you complained.
“My mother taught me,” she said. “And I practiced.”
You groaned, flipping backwards, bouncing a little as the netted path supported your weight.
“Why are you here?” Tsonu’e asked. “You are usually with your friends now.”
You grinned at her, turning your head slightly. “I wanted to spend the day with you!”
Tsonu’e gave you a look that said she didn’t buy that for a second. You grunted, flopping back over. “Tonowari is with her,” you said sulkily.
Tsonu’e nodded knowingly. “You are shy.”
“What!” you protested. “I am not shy! I’ve never met the guy and I don’t want to third wheel during couple time.”
Tsonu’e hummed. You sat up, offended. “I am not! I’m introverted, there’s a difference.”
“Shy,” she said, not looking up from her work.
“I am not,” you hissed. “I’ll prove it too. I’ll go and find them both right now.”
“Good,” said Tsonu’e. “You need to get out of your bubble.”
You threw your hands up, giving an aggravated huff as you pushed yourself to your feet to find Ronal and Tonowari.
They were ridiculously easy to find, unfortunately. Ronal’s eyes lit up when she saw you, a small grin crossing her face as you approached.
“I see you,” she greeted.
You gestured back, murmuring the phrase, eyes downcast. You hated when Tsonu’e was right.
“Tonowari, this is Hana,” Ronal introduced.
“I see you,” he greeted politely as you did the same
Silence fell. You shifted, feeling awkward.
“Are you not with Tsonu’e today?” Ronal inquired. You winced, feeling even more awkward. You were totally third wheeling.
“Yeah,” you grumbled, remembering why you were here. “She told me to go away.”
Ronal actually rolled her eyes, poking your shoulder gently as Tonowari frowned at you in concern. “What actually happened?”
Quietly, you mumbled, “She said I was shy.”
Ronal laughed. It was the prettiest sound you’d ever heard, bright and clear, and so completely her that you swooned, your heart racing. Her hand rested on your arm, and she smiled prettily as she assured you, “You are shy—it is not a bad thing.”
You deflated slightly.
Ronal patted your arm. “I like you how you are.”
You wishes you weren’t shy. Maybe if you were bold like Claire or even Yates you would already be officially part of the clan.
You open your mouth to say something, but are interrupted by a young warrior running up.
“Ronal,” he panted. “The Tsahìk needs you, quickly!”
Ronal’s eyes widen, and she spared a glance between you an Tonowari, apology on her face as she quickly took off after him. You watched her go silently, feeling ever more awkward now. Tonowari was effectively a stranger. Worse, he was a stranger that was basically the guy who decided if you should stay or not. Ronal may have had an important role, but it was easy to forget that when it was just you and her, swapping stories and trying to make the other laugh.
“Ronal speaks highly of you,” Tonowari’s voice comes so suddenly you jump.
“Does she?” you squeaked, voice trembling. Your eyes flicked to where Ronal had vanished too, and you felt hot as you thought of her eyes.
Tonowari grinned, leaning in slightly, conspiratorial as he mock whispered, “She likes that you are open.”
Open? Didn’t Ronal just get done saying that you were shy? Your thoughts must have shown on your face, because Tonowari clarified, “You are open to new experiences. Ronal can be… nervous. She does not show it, but she finds comfort in the familiar.”
Oh. Your eyes widen, smile pulling at your face. “She said that?”
“No,” he said. You wilted a little. “But I have known Ronal since we were children. I can see it in her.”
You perked up a little, offering him, “She likes you too. She says you are generous.”
“It gets me into trouble,” he admitted.
“I think it’s a good thing,” you told him. “It takes a special person to be kind.”
“A soft one,” he scoffed.
“No,” you disagreed, feeling a little bold, thinking of Tsonu’e. “A strong one.”
You thought Tonowari’s smile was pretty too, especially when it was directed at you.
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