“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The familiar words tumble from his tongue as easily as they had years ago when he was still in school. “It has been seven weeks since my last confession.”
Phil closes his eyes as he lists his sins. His stomach is cramped with guilt and fear. He hates feeling like he’s betraying Clint by confessing, but he can’t seem to stop it, no matter how understanding Clint is. He talks about being married, he talks about loving his husband, and he feels shame.
When he’s done confessing his sexual sins, he begins confessing his other sins. He’s been in Nigeria for three weeks on a mission, and he speaks about the twelve men he had to kill. The Father on the other side of the wall thinks that he’s a soldier that goes overseas quite often, so he doesn’t startle. Father Walker is used to Phil’s bizarre confessions.
He confesses to lying. He confesses to feeling guilty about coming to confession.
And when it’s all said and done, Father Walker instructs him on penance, like he always does.
Then, Phil leaves the church and walks back to the Tower where his husband is waiting for him.
Clint greets him with a smile and a brief kiss, “Where’ve you been?” It’s not a demanding question, like it is with some people. Clint is simply excited to see him and hear about his day. The man is full of unending patience that honestly shouldn’t be as surprising as Phil always finds it to be, considering that the man is a sniper.
“I went to confession.” Phil smiles tightly, anticipating a reaction that will never be there. Clint has always been accepting of Phil’s religious beliefs, no matter that he doesn’t share them.
Clint’s smile softens, and he says simply, “Well, I’m glad that you’re home.” That’s been his standard reply for nearly ten years now, and Phil hopes to hell that it never changes.
Later, he’ll pray and do penance for the things that he’s done that are wrong, but for now, he follows his husband into the kitchen and helps him finish preparing dinner.