Chapter 3
The next time he sees Harry, it's while he's in the middle of a fight with his older brother. Truth is, he had tried and succeeded in avoiding him since their fight at Hogsmeade, and it was perfect for him that way. But it was almost 10pm, and he wanted to go back to his loverboy as soon as possible.
Seeing his brother always made him feel a lot of conflicted feelings. Love, because of all the moments they had shared, tucked into Sirius' bed when their mother had been particularly rough on her crucio. Fear, because now he knew that Sirius could hurt him, both physically and verbally, his words loud and terrifying stabbing in an already open wound just like their mom always did. Anger at how fast and easily this man had replaced him, calling his best friend his ''brother''. Disgust because of the way they were treating people around them, especially Slytherins. So confident and comfortable. Obnoxiously loud hormonales teenagers that wouldn't keep it in their pants.
But what hurts the most. Was the sadness.
The sorrow.
The way his heart hurts so bad when he remembers what their relationship used to be. When it was only the two of them against their parents. Egotistically, he misses it sometimes. Old but never shedded tears in the back of his eyes when they were arguing, thought he would never show it. All put-together and cold, his occlumency blocking everybody from his distraught mind. Wearing a mask he had stopped believing in long ago.
These moments made him want to throw up, fall on his knees and weep pathetically. His hands joined, praying. Begging for his brother to forgive him, to take him far, far away from this place he called his house. No matter where they'd go, as long as it was together, as long as they were together.
"What is it Black? Snakes got your tongue?" I love you, he thinks, he thinks as loud as he can but Sirius doesn't know. Will never know.
"Don't waste my time Sirius, I have more important things to do." He rolled his eyes, knowing it always annoyed his brother.
"What ? Already eager to go back to your crazy boyfriend ? I shall remind you that he attacked me, what would your mother think if she heard of her baby boy’s relationship with an illegitimate Potter?"
His teeth clamped as he closed his hand tightly around the wooden tool in his sleeve.
"At least he's not a wearwolf." Too far- You're going too far. His mind screams at him, and his face breaks into a nervous smile that he knows enrages Sirius. He doesn’t even have a problem with lycanthropy, he knows damn well it’s a life-long condition.
"SHUT UP YOU FILTHY SNAKE!" He only sees the rise of his wand and time stops. Fighting what he should do in his head. Should he attack?
No. No he can't.
And Sirius' face is twisted in anger, his blue eyes glistening dangerously as his mouth opens, pronouncing the hex that was about to strike him. Here, in the middle of a random corridor.
Oh he looks so much like mother, he thinks as his instinct takes over, and he looks down, arms tightly against each side of his body. He closes his eyes.
"Sirius."
Before opening them, still looking down. He doesn't move. Move and she'll get you. Move and she'll kill you. His breath is held. His blood pulsing in his ears.
All he hears around him is blurry, like he got hit by a confusion hex, but then he hears the voice. Clear and soft, it dragged him like a female mosquito attracted by blood.
It's Harry. His heart beat faster and faster. Terror, shame, anger, sorrow, love. All mixed up together in a hurricane of emotions and feelings. He wants to throw up. He wants to cry. He wants to slap Sirius. He wants to run into Harry's arms and beg him to take him to his timeline.
The world slowly disappears, his head hurts like long needles are poking it. But he forces himself to look up, watching the scene playing in front of his eyes.
Harry is holding his brother's wrist tightly, standing in front of it, pressing Sirius' wand on his chest, right over where his heart is. And he panics for a moment. But then… Harry’s other hand flies to the older Black's shoulder, and stays here. Not pressing down, not shoving him left or right. Just a presence on his shoulder.
They talk, or at least Harry does, he cannot hear what words are exchanged, but it seems to calm his brother because soon Harry let go of his wrist, and Sirius put his hand still holding his wand in his pocket.
"Harry I-" Sirius tries, but Harry cuts him. His voice soft but still clear and steady, leaving no room for any questions.
"Sirius, please. Go, now."
And so, Sirius shoots him a last glance, and their eyes meet.
Thank Merlin, he doesn't look at me like mother does anymore. Regulus thinks. Then the older Black leaves, walking fast, his chin up but his posture less straight than usual. And he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to calm his heart down, he can feel his magic pulsing in his veins.
"Regulus, my dear. How are you ?" He then smiles, the smell of Harry filling his nose and his magic wrapping around him before his arms do.
He doesn't answer, instead stepping forward until they crash into each other, melting when Harry wraps his arms around him, pressing him tightly against him, and he doesn't stop the feeling, he leans into it. He breathes in his smells and shivers in his warm arms, it feels so good, he feels so safe.
"Hey…" Harry whispers, his voice muffled because his mouth is in his raven hair, and the slytherin moves a bit, tucking his face in the hollow of his lion's neck. He wants to kiss the warmth of his skin, he stops himself. "My star…" He tries again, but then stops. A shuddering sigh slipping out of his mouth. “Let’s go somewhere more private, shall we ?”
Regulus nod, feeling Harry’s arms untangling and the loss of proximity making him shiver, he almost grief the feelings when his lion take his hand and intertwine their fingers, before starting walking quickly, stairs after stairs and corridors after corridors he follows, like a thirsty man lost in a desert running after an oasis, he blindly walk beside and a bit behind him, letting Harry lead the way. Soon he realizes that they’re going to the astronomy tower, and he remembers that its access is absolutely forbidden outside of astronomy class.
They go anyway.
He grips his boy’s hand a bit tighter and feels his magic vibrating in his palm, he hopes his own isn’t too sweaty, he already feels himself blushing and his stomach swooping in his body, he wants to run away and kiss this boy senseless.
They walked up the last stairs, his bag hitting his side. Between his lunch with Pandora and his fight with Sirius he had been able to get back to his dorm and take some of his belongings which included a leather bag, dark brown and covered with beautiful patterns, a gift from his uncle, Alphard Black, that was one of the things he had hidden from his mother.
The book was in the bag.
Then, the stairs disappeared, and he looked up.
The sun was down in the sky, giving an vibrant orange color to the clouds, as if someone had put coloured muggle lenses on his eyes. However the place was still the same, big and thick columns creating gothic-shaped glassless windows, with only little barriers to stop students from throwing themselves off the tower. Not that it was that useful, they were pretty easy to climb.
However, Dumbeldore, this awfully wise man, had installed protective charms around the area, meaning that if you jumped, you would only fall for one and a half second before being apparated directly into miss Pomfrey’s infirmary.
When they arrived he felt Harry freez for a solid second, his eyes turned to one particular area, where there was no barrier, at first he was confused, but then Regulus remembered of a moment he had seen in Harry’s mind while they were sleeping next to each other, the image of someone slowly falling off the tower, hit by the death curse. He shivered at the memory, not daring to imagine what Harry might feel, he simply tugged him in the opposite direction. And there they sat. In front of each other, the sunset is beautiful next to them, the sunbeams licking his skin. Harry’s face looked like a painting, an utterly beautiful beauty he wanted to embed in his memory.
“You alr-“ Harry started, but stopped. Shaking his head and tentatively brushing Regulus’ hand’s back with his pinkie. And Regulus stayed silent, savoring the physical contact. “How do you feel?”
He thought for a moment, gazing into the distance, then he looked into Harry’s eyes, and felt in his bones how the boy yearned to be closer, his legilimency was taking over, he couldn’t control it, and he moved slowly so Harry had the time to back off, until Harry’s legs folded and he sat in the little rond space it was creating. Face-to-face.
Then he turned a bit, so both his legs were folded over Harry’s right one. All his right side pressing against Harry. And when Harry smiled at this, he felt bold and pressed a soft kiss on his cheeks, before nuzzling into Harry’s neck.
“Mmm…” He hummed, his muscles relaxed as he could feel Harry’s heartbeat on his skin.
“Now ? How do you feel?” Harry asked again, and he simply muttered.
“Better…' Moving a bit, making himself comfortable in Harry’s arms, one hand sliding on his back and taking off the handle of his bag and putting it carefully next to them, he thinks about what's inside it.
But he doesn't say anything.
Harry's left hand goes back on his back, stroking it softly while his right one simply rests on top of his folded legs. Regulus shivers at the feeling, a delicious warm puddle rising in his stomach when Harry draws little circles on his cold skin. And it takes all the self-control of the world not to jump on the boy and make love to him slowly and tenderly. So instead he breathes in his scent one last time before moving his head, pressing a kiss on the skin right there.
He stops then, waiting to see what reaction Harry will have.
"Regulus…" He whispers, the 's' sounds reminding him of those who speak parseltongue. Salazar, he loves to hear Harry say his name…
He kiss along his throat, pressing on his pulsating point until he reaches his jaw, which he nibbles before using his left hand to guide the head how he wants it to be, but he doesn't need to move it that much because Harry do it himself, gasping softly he give him more access and Regulus loves it to death. So he kisses, nibbles, traces with his tongue, sometimes going up to nibble on his lobe and whisper his name in his ear.
"Harry… My beautiful little lion…" He says, half-serious and half-teasing.
"Regulus Ah- please…" Understanding that Harry wanted to tell him something he backed off a bit, pressing a last kiss on his cheek before facing him.
Harry looks… Positively wrecked. And if he moves he can feel that he's half-hard. Oh Merlin, it's him who created such a physical creation with only some kisses… Pride rises in his chest but he keeps his mouth shut, letting Harry collect himself before he speaks again.
"Not that making love on the astronomy tower watching the sunset doesn't sound absolutely delightful…" He starts, still a bit out-of-breath, and the slytherin smiles at that. "But I still think we should talk about what happened, with your brother."
Oh.
A pain rises in his chest and he does his best to hide what he feels, but Harry seems to see right through him, because his brows bend into a sad expression and his eyes stay on his.
The Black's mask. Perfect to hide your emotion and look steady, but not with someone who truly loves you.
"There's… Nothing to say." He spites, more angrily than he intended to but Harry doesn't flinch, instead he moves Regulus so they are facing each other. And the snake already misses the warmth of his lover. They're both sitting on the floor.
"Is that so…" Harry says, more to himself than to Regulus.
"I would rather keep making out with you." Regulus adds, getting closer and pressing a kiss on Harry's lips.
"Understandable…" Harry giggles, kissing him back for a good five seconds before backing off once again. "But it's not really healthy, making out and forgetting the world around us instead of talking together about the things that make us feel sad, don't you think?"
…He completely agreed, but he didn't want this rule to apply to him. To face the things that happened. He would rather forget and keep walking without looking back.
"I know, it's just…" He tries to explain how he feels, but the words don't leave his mouth. "I don't know how… What I'm supposed to… To say or do."
Harry nods, and Regulus asks himself if Harry can understand those feelings, being hurt by the ones we love. Then, he remembered what Harry had told him, what had happened during the war.
"Can you maybe… Tell me? What was happening ?"
"It's something Sirius often does, trying to start stupid fights with people so he has a good reason to fight. Most of the time James is with him, but not this time. Not when he's trying to fight with me. In a way I hate it, I hate how much he…" He tries to catch his breath, looking down and shivering at the memory. "I hate how much we sound like our parents when we fight, he reminds me of mother, and more than once he pointed out how similar I was to father…"
Harry hummed, letting him know that he's listening and giving him the time to talk.
"Harry can I…" He tries, because really he's getting desperate. "Can I get back on your lap?" He watches Harry's face turn red and his hand pull his shirt down over his crotch.
"I- I'm…" Harry tries, but everytime he opens his mouth his face turns more and more red, until the tip of his ears is also reddish. "I'm afraid that I'm… Not in the best state, right now. Or rather- Not in the appropriate state given our conversation…"
"Sunshine…" He rolls his eyes. "It's a natural reaction, it just means you're in good shape." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and feels a smirk on his face.
"You're Impossible-" Harry finally sighs, putting his hands on Regulus' hips and urging him closer until he's close enough, the snake's legs on each side of Harry's body, while the lion's legs are still crossed. And Regulus only has time to adjust to their new position before Harry in pressing a soft kiss on his forehead and murmuring. "I don't think any of you are like your parents… And anyway, does Sirius do that often?" His voice sounds quiet, the realization that what his brother does makes him suffer. "I knew he and da- James. Were dicks during their school years, but I had no idea it was that bad. I'm sorry… I should've-"
Regulus immediately put his hand on Harry's mouth, shutting him up. "Don't start thinking you're responsible for what happened, it's not your job to stop them, it should be the headmaster's and the professor's. Got it?"
Harry looks at him dumbfounded, his green eyes as beautiful as always although it's slowly getting dark. The sun is almost down. Then, his expression breaks, and he looks down.
"Sunshine…?" He tries again, this time moving his hand and sliding it along his face, caressing the soft skin there. "It's not your fault. Nothing. Is. Your. Fault. You're doing perfect and…" His heartbeat is fast, and he bets his face is turning pink. "And you make me… Really, really happy. I had never felt so safe before. You understand my love ?" The word slipped out but he let it float between them. He needs him to know. "You are so, so good to me. I don't think I deserve you. I think you should go and find someone better. A pretty red haired girl or a handsome blond guy. But… you're still here. You're still by my side. And I'm so grateful for that…"
"Regulus…" Harry looks at him, so many feelings and emotions floating around it's almost overwhelming, but he loves it. He wants to drown in this thing they share. "Sometimes I think about my timeline. About the people I left behind. But I met so many people here too. I formed friendships I don't want to lose. And I met… You." Instinctively the younger boy closes his eyes, feeling his sun kiss the words right out of his mouth. Then he speaks again, murmuring against his lips. "I cannot leave. I cannot leave you. I don't know what I'll do… But I won't leave. I… I've never loved someone so deeply before…"
Regulus wants to cry. He wants to cry and shout and laugh. But instead he kissed him again. More fervently. "Do you know what a courtship is, my dear?" He whispers against his mouth. And before Harry can answer…
BOOM.
They hear an explosion.
Harry startles and he doesn't, instead freezing in place before they hear another explosion.
BOOM BOOM BOOM.
They both urgently get up and look out, thought the glassless windows. Pressing their body against the barriers.
Beautiful fireworks are exploding in the sky, and it's not long before they realize that… Bloody hell someone is doing that !!
They look at each other and burst out laughing. Harry has both of his hands on the barriers, Regulus is slightly behind him, watching mesmerized by the beautiful colors. But then, it's Harry he's looking at.
The colors clash beautifully with his skin. Vibrant and marvelous, lighting his features. His childish smile and his eyes sparkling brighter than all the fireworks and stars of the world.
Now he knows why the Hufflepuffs were so excited earlier. Must be for somebody's birthday.
Not that he cared a lot about that. What he cared about was his beloved. His body trembling with excitement, his eyes turned to the sky exploding in gold, silver, yellow, red, blue, and green.
He could feel the explosion in his chest, and recognized Pandora's magic when he looked down and saw two students dancing on the surface of the lake. Casting the spells. Must be her and her Xenophilius.
He brought back his gaze on his lion, his heart beating fast in his chest, drinking into his figure.
For a second, he thinks about his loyalty to his family. And how he's doing something wrong but it never felt so right. It never felt so right to love.
He is completely utterly, embarrassingly in awe.
"It's beautiful, don't you think little star?" Harry almost screams over another explosion, his eyes still on the dark sky which had just started to reveal some of its stars. And Regulus burst out laughing. His heart full of love, he's one kiss away from spilling over.
"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen…" He answers, still looking at his lover. Because it's true. It’s beautiful, Harry is beautiful. Their love is beautiful.
Harry turns to look at him, a soft blush noticeable despite all the colors around him and the darkness of the night, perhaps because he had felt Regulus' gaze on him ? And mouth parted, he seems to realize something. But before he can talk Regulus murmurs ''I want to court you properly."
And Harry smiles, blush and nodd, like he was waiting for it. Waiting for him to tell him how he sees their relationship.
"I must tell you I have no idea what courting is for Wizards." He says, a shy and embarrassed smile on the corner of his lips. "But I cannot wait to learn more about your culture my dear…"
"As long as you share yours with me sunshine…" Regulus answers, knowing he must wear the most embarrassing and honest smile he had ever had on his face.
He steps forward, walking to Harry who’s smile widened even more and once he’s right in front of him, he puts both of his hands on the barriers behind Harry, trapping the boy between his arms. And put his mouth on his, melting into his lips, the soft and sensitive flesh of his lips moving in tandem with his. And when a particularly noisy explosion surprises the both of them, Harry wakes up and wraps his arms around his slytherin’s neck, draped over his shoulders. Then Regulus softly bites his lower lips and tells him. “Dora’ founds a book for us, a courting one. Once we have followed its instruction we will get the possibility to make our bond recognised legally. What do you think about it?”
He then looks at his sun, whose eyes are wide open just like his mouth. Then it seemed like he regained consciousness again and he nodd, a shy smile on his lips. “I would love to do that with you, if you’re on board… But are you sure my dear? I do not want you to feel pressured by your family or-“
“They don’t know.” He cuts Harry, realizing as he says it that he was taking a big decision without them knowing.
It was terrifying
He loved it.
“They don’t know…” He said again. “They don’t need to know. It’s you, only you that matters.” Harry looks at him, and he feels himself blushing, undressed by his eyes.
“Yes I do.” Regulus looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “I mean-“ Harry stuttered, his face burning. “I want to do that. Where is the book?” Regulus took his wand out of his sleeve and casted an accio book, the next second the book was flying to his hand, and it glowed when he took it. He opened it to the page where the first step was, turning around so Harry was right behind him, the lion wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his head on his shoulder.
Regulus quickly kissed his cheek before going back to the book, reading the words which had already started to appear on the page.
___________
First step : make your partner bond with the book.
To do so, he must touch the book by himself so I can know his own personality and values, then read the first pages and consent to the courting process, afterward you must both hold it together. That way I will be able to study your relationship and after all of that is done, we will be able to start.
Got it Harry James Potter ?
___________
He heard Harry gasp when his name appeared on the paper. But Regulus wasn’t surprised, whatever kind of magic was in this book, it already knew him, so it wasnt that surprising that it already knew who he loved as well.
“Are you still okay with that ?” He turned to Harry, and the boy nodded and carefully took the book in his hand.
This time he could see the studying process, which was longer than his. And it wasn’t a big surprise, Harry couldn’t use occlumency, but it didn't mean he was easy to read, in fact, it was quite the opposite. Harry’s mind was a complete mess, and even he had difficulty getting inside of it and finding the information he was looking for.
Harry closed his eyes, and Regulus took a step back, leaving him space but also so his magic didn’t influence the book. He watched carefully as Harry started talking, at first his voice seemed to come from far away, but then he was able to identify it.
“Who are you ? How do you…” He stopped, and Regulus started to get worried. “Yes… I am. Will it have an impact on our…” Then the silence, and finally. “I see, but I do not request any privileges.” Then he stopped talking, and Regulus felt the magic get out of Harry’s body.
A sigh of relief escaped him and Harry shot him an apologetic smile, before turning his attention back to the book. He watched him read the explanations and rules, then back to the first step. And when all of that was done Harry closed the book. Now half of the cover was a dark sky with stars, while the other side was bright and golden.
A contrast. Darkness and light, space and sun.
“Death and life…” He whispers, and puts his hand on the cover where the dark space is, Harry’s one on the bright and sunny side.
Then, he felt his knees cave in and fell on the floor, but Harry caught him, Regulus’ left hand and Harry’s right one still on the cover, the book was floating on its own, glowing, an unknown and surreal magic he had never seen before going through his system to Harry’s. From the book to him to Harry to the book.
A circle, a triangle.
And their other hands, free from the book, but holding each other, a reminder that they were together.
Forming a line.
…
Then, it stopped.
The book fell hard on the floor, and Regulus tried to catch his breath, he looked down at his hands, they were a dark blue, almost back. His freckles and moles white and glowing. And he looked up, Harry’s eyes still had their green color, except that now there were bright yellow reflections in them, standing out. A trail of the same bright golden yellow glowing under his skin.
Something in his hair, like a crown but larger, with its pointy tips on the edges, was glowing with the same ethereal and vapory light, he looked like these biblical renaissance paintings, wearing a golden halo over his head.
“You look like a God.” He said, and Harry, the git, burst out laughing. Before stopping himself once again.
“Thanks my little star, you are really pretty too, like a galaxy full of stars.” As to emphasize his opinion, he took his hand and kissed its back. And Regulus rolled his eyes, but did not take back his hand, he loved the warmth of Harry’s. “Now, I need to ask you something.” Regulus looked at him, waiting for his sun to continue. “Does our romantic interactions have to only be during the courting process?”
“What a fancy way to ask me if we can fuck Harry.” He smirked, and Harry made an offended gasp. Before shooting arrows with his eyes, his cheeks red under the golden light he was producing with his magic.
“… I don’t see what you’re implying.”
“I’m not implying anything, and no, even the most powerful courting process bonded to the most powerful book wouldn’t be able stop me from kissing and fucking you.” Harry blushed at that, and quickly got up, dragging him with him as he wandlessly put the book back in his bag and made it float beside them. “Where are you taking us Harry?” Regulus asked coyly, twirling a strand of hair around his finger, he knew damn well where they were going.
“Your dorm little star, I think you have a new spell to teach me.”
Oh, he knew then.
The night had just begun.