Say Something

Hiro checked the time on his watch. It had been over an hour since Tadashi had gone downstairs to, as he said, “have a talk with” Aunt Cass. Having packed up all his essentials in record time, Hiro hadn’t left himself with a lot to do except mess around on his phone. He’d finished packing up all of Tadashi’s things too. But he was beginning to get restless. He would’ve liked a text from his brother or something – just to let him know what was going on down there. Because he was so very curious now. Curious and, admittedly, afraid.

He couldn’t stay put any longer, he decided. He got to his feet and almost tripped getting to the door; he’d been jumping one knee up and down for so long that he had lost all feeling in it. He leaned against his desk and gave himself a minute just to shake his leg awake before he quietly left his bedroom.

He could hear them. They were just murmured voices in the distance, but it was something. So they were talking. The thought had occurred to Hiro that his big brother could’ve lost control of his temper and done something regretful – namely, hurting Aunt Cass in a retributive and physically comparable way to how she had hurt him. But that hadn’t appeared to be the case, thankfully.

Not that Hiro would’ve immediately stepped in to stop him. Not until after the first one or two blows anyway.

Hiro crept down the stairs, careful not to make the boards squeak and give away his position. He hovered just a few steps before the landing, just out of their sight. He leaned forward a little, confident he was shrouded in enough shadows that no one would notice his little head poking out –watching them, listening to them.

It made Hiro uneasy, what he saw. There were plates of food in front of them, but they looked untouched. There was more than one wine bottle on the dining table and not one but two half-finished glasses that were being routinely picked up and put down and refilled. Aunt Cass had her elbows on the table – something she once told Hiro never to do because it was impolite – with her hands covering her face, almost in a way that looked ashamed. Tadashi had one hand on the stem of his glass and one hand on her back. He was just staring at his meal before him, mouth upturned, like it was the most unappetising thing he’d ever laid eyes on. But he wasn’t looking at the food, Hiro realised. His eyes looked far too distant.

It was so quiet in there now, so eerily quiet. There was a clock around, somewhere, because he could hear it ticking, and that was all. It was like someone had just died.

It occurred to Hiro that there might’ve been a good reason why Tadashi didn’t want him around to hear what Aunt Cass had to say about him. But Hiro was determined to hear it anyway. He could take it, he promised himself. He could take it.

Aunt Cass sucked in a deep breath and brought her face up out of her hands. She wiped at her red, puffy eyes with a tissue. She’d rubbed her make-up right off. “I’m sorry,” she said, and Hiro could hear her just fine. She sounded so teary and morose. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Tadashi started tapping his finger against his glass. He picked it up and had a generous gulp. Despite the fact that they must’ve been drinking for the last hour, they both looked completely sober. “Please stop saying sorry to me,” Tadashi uttered into the quiet room. “I’m not the one you need to apologise to.”

“Could you ever forgive me?”

The corners of Tadashi’s mouth pulled down. His face looked stiff. He looked ill. “I don’t know,” he murmured after a long pause. “I’d only ever forgive you if Hiro does.”

She sobbed, “Do you think…? He will, won’t he?”

Tadashi started shaking his head, frowning. “Aunt Cass, you… This isn’t something you can just apologise for and expect everything to be fine again. You… really messed him up. It might take years before he could even…” He sighed, giving up on that train of thought. He had another slow drink and Aunt Cass joined him. His eyes were glistening. “It’s not like you. This isn’t how you used to be. You were never so selfish and… so stupid. What were you even thinking? He’s just a kid.”

“People always say that about him but it’s just not true. He’s so smart and mature and-“

“Are you serious?” Tadashi turned his head towards her. There were flashes of disbelief and anger across his face. “Are you fucking serious?”

From the stairwell, Hiro’s mouth dropped open. He’d never heard his brother swear before. Not ever.

Tadashi started raising his voice. “Yeah, he’s a genius, but he’s still a child, Aunt Cass. He’s emotionally and physically undeveloped. He’s – for fuck’s sake, he hasn’t even gone through puberty yet! He didn’t know any better. He probably didn’t even know what you were doing half the time, God…” Tadashi rubbed vigorously at his head then, like he was trying to rub away any mental images that might’ve assailed him from just mentioning it. He wasn’t doing too good. “I can’t believe that this is really happening…”

Hiro jumped as he felt something nudge the back of his head. Oh. It was just Mochi. He patted the cat absently, still listening.

“I never forced him to do anything,” Aunt Cass said suddenly, and Hiro felt his stomach drop. “I never made him do anything that he didn’t want to do… He was agreeable. And he still enjoyed himself, you know…“

Hiro understood exactly what she meant by ‘enjoyed’ and he suddenly felt like it was happening all over again. God, he just wanted to disappear off the face of the earth. Why did he ever think that listening in on this conversation was a good idea.

“Oh my God,” Tadashi choked out, turning away from her. “I think I’m going to be sick…”

Aunt Cass continued despite Tadashi’s reaction. She was beginning to sound a little defensive now. “He was more than capable of deciding for himself whether he wanted to be with me or not. I gave him so many opportunities to tell me how he felt about us.”

“Yeah?” Tadashi seemed sceptical. “And what did he say?”

“He’s a shy boy… But I know that he loves me.”

“He doesn’t love you in that way.”

“Then how come you’re only hearing about this now? How come he kept our little secret for months?”

Mochi was rubbing against Hiro and purring more enthusiastically now, but Hiro couldn’t keep patting him. He was far too on edge.

“None of that matters, Aunt Cass,” Tadashi cried out. “It doesn’t even matter if he did…” He couldn’t say it. He just couldn’t. “The point is that youwere supposed to be the responsible adult. You’re his legal guardian! You were supposed to protect him from… from people like you. And, instead, you took advantage. You ruined him.”

“I didn’t ruin him…”

Tadashi rocked in his chair, frustrated. He looked like he wanted to shout at her, but he made a strenuous effort to keep his voice down. “I don’t know how you ever thought that he could be in love with you. Have you ever stopped and just looked at him – really looked at him? Or have you been too caught up in your own fantasy to realise that he hasn’t done anything these past few months.”

Aunt Cass emptied the bottle into her glass. She seemed distracted. “I wouldn’t know,” she murmured, “he likes to keep to himself-”

“He hasn’t touched any of his robots, he hasn’t been making anything new. He’s abandoned all of the projects he’d so been looking forward to working on once he’d finished high school. But now he… He just sits there and watches movies all day. And he gets so upset when I even so much as step out for an hour or two because that’s when you abuse him. He’s anxious and depressed because of you – he’s notin love.”

“Ow,” Hiro cried as Mochi dug his claws and teeth into the back of his head. He jumped up and swiped at the stupid cat until it bolted upstairs.

As Hiro settled back down, rubbing at his sore head, he noticed that it had gone quiet.

Tadashi appeared at the bottom of the stairs, looking up. The corners of his eyes crinkled regretfully as they connected with his little brother’s. “What are you doing here…? How long have you been there?”

“Not that long,” Hiro said quickly. “Like… five, ten minutes…”

“Hiro?”

Hiro heard Aunt Cass leave her chair, but Tadashi put out an arm and blocked her from coming any closer. His expression was severe. “No.”

“Can I talk to him?” Hiro heard her ask.

“I don’t think he wants to talk to you right now.”

“Please,” she begged, “please, it’ll just be for a few minutes. Now that he’s here, maybe he could clear up a few things for the both of us.”

Tadashi shifted his gaze back to Hiro. He seemed to be searching for his little brother’s approval, but Hiro wasn’t sure whether to give it to him or not.

“Please, Tadashi, you’re being ridiculous,” Aunt Cass said as she barged past him and came to stand on his other side. Hiro could feel himself grow tense as she stared up at him, her green eyes full of fresh tears. “Darling,” she murmured, smiling. How he hated her smile. “Why don’t you tell your brother how you really feel about us?”

“About you,” Tadashi corrected irritably.

Aunt Cass ignored him. “Just say it, darling. Don’t be coy.”

Hiro began to feel his heart race and his cheeks heat up. Why were they doing this again? Putting him on the spot like this and expecting him to just clear up all of the problems they’d started for themselves? Why were they doing this? He was going to cry, he was going to run, he was going to scream –

No. You can do this. You said you could take it. Just tell her the truth, and then maybe she’ll leave you alone for good.

Hiro took a deep, calming breath. His brother was here, he was on his side. Everything was going to be OK. “I don’t love you, Aunt Cass,” he finally said. “Tadashi’s right. You… You did… ruin me.”

Incredibly, she looked like this was news to her. Her eyes widened and her small mouth fell open, like it had been the last thing she had ever wanted to do to him. Hiro didn’t understand her. He didn’t understand how she was so deluded. She used to be so perceptive. He couldn’t even tell if this was all an act or if she really did believe that he could ever love her.

“But… But you never said anything,” she whispered, heartbroken.

It hurt to look at her. He stared at his brother’s face instead. He swallowed hard. “You made it so… difficult to say anything. I-I thought you were just being nice at first… I couldn’t tell… until you… showed me that movie. And then I just felt… so out of my depth, like… I was drowning.”

Something about those words looked like they just made Tadashi ache. He walked up the stairs and stood proudly next to his little brother, wrapping an arm securely around him. Hiro liked it. He liked that they were both looking down on Aunt Cass now, two against one. He liked that his brother was being so strong and supportive. He liked the look of fear on Aunt Cass’ face as it dawned on her that she was about to lose her only two nephews.

“How could you,” Tadashi uttered. “We both trusted you. Our parents trusted you. Your sister… What would everyone think? What would they say about you? …You must’ve known what you were doing was wrong.”

Aunt Cass was crying now. But Hiro – even Tadashi – had little sympathy for her. “B-But it had felt so right…”

“Didn’t feel right to me,” Hiro mumbled and he felt Tadashi squeeze him gently.

“You need help, Aunt Cass,” Tadashi continued. “You need serious help. There are professionals out there who deal with people like you, who suffer intimacy deficits… Who need to be taught that children… nephews… are not surrogates for real relationships. You need to face the consequences of your actions, Aunt Cass. First thing tomorrow, Hiro and I are going to report you.”

“Wait, what?” Hiro turned to him, panicked. “Report her? To the police?”

Tadashi patted him to try to calm him down. “It’s OK, Hiro.”

“No, no…” He turned his back on Aunt Cass so it was just a private conversation between him and his brother. “I could barely tell you about the abuse – what makes you think I’m gonna be able to tell the authorities what happened?”

Tadashi tried to hold his hand. “Hiro, listen-“

“No, you listen,” he cried. “It’s a miraclethat even you believed me. OK? I’ve spent so much time online, trying to make sense of what happened to me, but do you know how many cases I saw where there was a female relative of some kind, sexually abusing a teenage boy? Like, none. No one believes those stories. Noone is going to believe me.”

Tadashi looked like he wanted to argue with him, but he stopped himself all too quickly. Even he looked like he couldn’t think of any scandalous news items where an older women had been convicted of sleeping with a younger boy. “Fine,” Tadashi conceded, sounding reluctant. “But if you change your mind…”

Hiro grabbed his brother’s hand, wanting to lead him up the stairs to get their things. “Let’s just get out of here,” he said. “Pretend this never happened. Start over. Just you and me.”

Tadashi sighed wearily. “We’ll… have to changeover legal guardianship and-”

“Fine, fine,” Hiro was starting to tug on Tadashi’s arm now. “Let’s worry about that later. For now, let’s just-”

“Hiro?” Aunt Cass walked up a step or two so she could see his face. “I… I’m sorry, Hiro. I only ever loved you. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Hiro looked away. He didn’t really want to hear this. It didn’t matter what grand gesture of apology she made; he was still never going to look at her the same way again. He was still leaving and taking his big brother with him.

“…I hope that maybe one day we could all be on good terms again… You could come around to the bakery with Tadashi, and I’d make you both your favourite desserts… Maybe we could catch a movie together sometime…”

No, it was too much. Hiro was getting too emotional again. He’d let his brother take care of the goodbyes for him. “I’ll get the bags,” he murmured and ran back up the stairs.

-------

When Hiro came back down with one full satchel hanging from his shoulder and another luggage bag in tow, Aunt Cass was nowhere in sight. Whatever Tadashi had said or done in the short time it had taken Hiro to retrieve their belongings… It hadn’t made her stick around to say goodbye to him. Thank God. It was just Tadashi now – sitting at the table, with his cap low over his bruised eye.

“Time to go, buddy,” he said, getting to his feet and taking the luggage bag from Hiro’s hands. He must’ve been deep in thought, distracted. He didn’t even bother to go back upstairs and check that Hiro hadn’t missed anything important of his. He gave a nod towards the exit. “Time to go.”

Hiro hadn’t known at the time, but that was the last time he’d ever set foot in that bakery ever again. He felt so free.