Chapter 6
So just hang on for another week. Think you can do that? Thanks, knucklehead.
A week was a long time, but somehow Hiro was cutting through it with more ease than he thought was possible. The key, he figured out, was distraction. He didn’t work on any of his projects, he didn’t so much as touch some of his more advanced technologies in the basement, but he did keep himself busy by volunteering to work the cash register at the bakery. His selling points were that he was good at making quick and accurate calculations – not that very many people paid with cash anymore – and also that he would work for free. He would work all day if he had to. He would run people their coffees and biscuits, he would mop up spills and crumbs, he would even paint inspirational punny quotes on the windows if it would keep him out of his own mind.
He only wished that Aunt Cass hadn’t been so enthusiastic. He hadn’t wanted her to get the wrong idea. The other reason he was so eager to offer his services was that, well… Aunt Cass couldn’t catch him alone in his room if he spent all his time in a bustling bakery full of people. He felt comforted by each smiling face that entered the bakery. But as the steady flow of customers trickled down to the last one – to the man who left a generous tip and bid everyone a good evening – Hiro no longer felt comforted. He felt afraid.
He never offered to help once the bakery was closed and all the other staff were gone. Aunt Cass asked him each and every day if he wanted to help her bake a new batch of goods for tomorrow, but each time he refused her in as little words as possible. He immediately stormed upstairs – on his two aching feet – closed the door, and turned off all the lights.
Sometimes he heard her. Outside, ascending the stairs and descending them again. Sometimes Tadashi would walk into the bedroom late at night, holding a plate of cake he said he found just outside the door, with a love heart iced onto the top. He always thought that Aunt Cass had left the cake there for him, for working so hard at the institute.
And Hiro always let him believe that.
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It was the due date of Tadashi’s final robotics project. Months and months of hard work and perseverance was all coming down to a ten minute presentation before one of the most renowned and accomplished professors at the Institute – Robert Callaghan. If Tadashi could’ve been described in just one word, when Hiro wished him good luck early that morning, it would’ve been stressed. His entrance into next year’s courses were riding on this project, and Tadashi had only thought to mention a couple of days ago that a scholarship could’ve been riding on it, too.
“You’ll do great,” Hiro had said, having been woken up by Tadashi’s nervous blundering and muttering at six in the morning. He smiled at his dorky nerd older brother. “You always do great. I bet mum and dad would be proud. I’m really proud of you.”
As Tadashi swung on his bag and adjusted his cap, prepared to go, he turned a look of petrified horror onto his younger brother. “Yeah,” he said. He looked so pale. “This is really it…”
“I thought your presentation was at five. You’ve still got eleven hours.”
Tadashi drew in a deep breath like this was news to him. “Only eleven hours?!” He staggered towards the door, clutching his chest. Hiro couldn’t tell if he was really this nervous or if he was just being dramatic, but either way it made him laugh. “I have about fifteen good luck charms – do you think it’ll be enough?”
“Hmmm.” Hiro looked like he was thinking about it. “It might just be enough.”
“Oh God,” Tadashi yelled suddenly, “What if everything breaks at the last minute?”
“Then don’t mess around with what’s already working, stupid.” Hiro rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling. “Knock ‘em dead, bro.”
Either it all was an act after all or Tadashi recovered from worst-case scenarios very quickly. He looked like his usual confident self as he headed out the door, giving Hiro a wink. “Will do, bro.” And then he was gone.
Hiro laid back down in his bed, breathing quietly. Everything felt so normal again when his brother was around, though he wasn’t around for very long. But that was soon to change.
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It was around five thirty when Hiro got a call from his brother. It was brief, and there was a lot of ruckus in the background, but it was still nice to hear his brother shout excitedly, “He loved it! Callaghan loved it!”
And that was the good news. The bad news was that Tadashi wasn’t coming home that night. His friends had coaxed him into going over to Honey Lemon’s place to try out some drinks she had put together, and they were all going to celebrate their respective triumphs by riding out their euphoric and restless high until morning.
“So I’ll be home first thing tomorrow, OK?”
“Tomorrow, yeah…” Hiro had greatly looked forward to having the first sit-down dinner with his brother in a while. But he tried to be happy for him. He’d been working so hard and for so long; he deserved to let loose and have a good time with his friends. He forced some light-heartedness into his voice. “Don’t party too hard, nerd.”
Tadashi laughed and there were more loud noises on his end. “Oh – we’re leaving now – look, could you tell Aunt Cass for me?”
Hiro should’ve just given a quick ‘yep’ to let him get away, but he ended up saying “what?” instead.
“Just tell her that it went well, everything’s fine, uh, and I’m just at Honey Lemon’s flat for the night. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
It took Hiro a few seconds to end the call after Tadashi had hung up. He was happy for his brother and his hard work, really he was. But he would’ve been lying if he denied entertaining the possibility that Honey Lemon made a chemical concoction not meant for human consumption. If only for a second.
It took him another half an hour before he went downstairs. The smell of a good golden roast was in the air, making his mouth water – a dish that had probably been cooking for hours. Hiro almost felt sorry that Aunt Cass had put in all the effort. The table had been set with special placemats and candles and everything.
He peeked into the kitchen and she was there, leaning on the countertop with her back to him, taking slow drags from a glass of red wine. She looked dressed up. There were decorative clips in her pulled-back hair and she was wearing a nice red dress that fell to just above her knees, no shoes. She was listening to the faint music from a hidden radio and staring out into space. She looked like she was waiting for Tadashi to come home and find her surprise celebratory meal…
“Um,” he said, and she quickly turned to him. He kept his eyes on his feet as he spoke because he didn’t like to look at her right now. She looked so nice. “Sorry, Aunt Cass, but… Tadashi said he’s staying out tonight…”
“…Oh?” She took another long glug from her wine glass and immediately topped it back up. “Out with his friends, you mean?”
“Yeah… at… uh.” It dawned on him suddenly that he didn’t know what Honey Lemon’s real name was. Bah, it didn’t matter. “He’s just at a friend’s house and I think he’s crashing there, so…” He glanced up at her, expecting that she’d be upset. But she didn’t look bothered in the slightest. Still, he said, “he would’ve come… I would’ve told him to come if I’d known…” He gestured the extravagant meal wordlessly.
“What? Oh, the dinner?” She chuckled lightly. “It’s OK, Hiro. It’s nothing we can’t put some foil over and heat up for tomorrow night, right?”
He shrugged. He wanted to end the conversation as quickly as possible so he could leave. He’d said everything he’d needed to say, and he didn’t want to give answers that were anything but non-committal.
He turned to go back upstairs, but it wasn’t as easy as that. It was never as easy as that.
“Hiro,” she cried hurtfully, and he had no choice but to return. She was pouting. Pouting and drinking. “I got all dressed up and made a lovely dinner, and now I don’t have a nice young man to appreciate my efforts… Won’t you join me?”
He swallowed hard. “I-I’m not hungry…”
She titled her head and pouted some more. The make-up around her eyes made them look bigger and doll-like. Her lips were a dark red, like her dress. “Please, Hiro,” she begged in a small, meek voice. “Please won’t you join me – please, please?”
Saying no was so much easier in his head than out loud. In the end, he just couldn’t do it. He took a seat at the table, just like she’d wanted, and he let her treat him to a steaming plate of roast chicken and vegetables and a rich gravy. He didn’t want to tell her, but it was one of the most delectable dishes he’d ever had from her. He dug right in.
“So glad you found your appetite again,” she commented, smiling as she sat down to her own plate of dinner.
They ate in silence for a while, but it didn’t last long. “So,” Aunt Cass began, and Hiro really wished that she wouldn’t. “Tadashi did well then?”
Hiro nodded as he chewed.
“That’s so good to hear. Your brother is so smart, isn’t he? And hard-working. I’ll bet he’s going to go far in life.”
Hiro didn’t respond. If he stopped to talk, he couldn’t eat quickly, and if he couldn’t eat quickly, he couldn’t leave sooner.
Aunt Cass just stared at him for a while. “…You know, his tuition fees are quite expensive… Isn’t he lucky to have a place with his family in town? To not be renting and bogged down with part-time jobs? Isn’t it great that he just… has his own space and time to thrive? Who knows how well he’d be doing if he didn’t have those luxuries?”
Hiro didn’t know why she was saying all this. It was making him feel guilty for ever thinking that he could try to convince his brother to leave with him. He started to feel sick. He slowly put down his knife and fork and said in a small voice, “thanks for dinner, Aunt Cass…”
“Don’t you want dessert?”
“Not really.”
“It’s black forest cake,” she tried to tempt him. “With glacé cherries and chocolate sprinkles?”
“No, thank you.”
She stood up suddenly and fetched the wine bottle from the counter. She emptied the dregs into her glass, had a gulp, and then held it out for him. “Would you like to try some merlot?”
Why she was doing this. “I-I can’t, I’m… underage.”
She lowered the glass onto the table, staring at him with a condescending half-smile on her face. “But you’re my brilliantly smart and mature young man. Kids aren’t allowed wine. But I bet you could handle it.”
She pushed the wine glass towards him. He looked down at it. He imagined that it was blood.
“Just have a taste,” she encouraged. “Go on. Just a taste. It won’t kill you.”
He hadn’t tasted wine before. He picked up the glass and brought it to his face. The smell alone was enough to put him off, but he still drank it. He winced noticeably after it had hit his mouth, making Aunt Cass laugh, and he quickly returned the glass to her to finish off.
“Don’t like it?”
“Not really,” he said politely. It was the most disgusting thing he’d tasted in a long time.
“Well.” Aunt Cass drummed her painted nails on the table. She was smirking, not smiling. “If you don’t want wine or dessert then what do you want, my darling?”
He felt paralyzed all over again before she had even touched him. He could only look on, helpless, as she sensually dragged herself up off her chair and pulled him up out of his. He was being led somewhere. And he already knew where.
Her bedroom wasn’t especially decorated like his own. The most obvious thing about it was a distinct lack of electronics and random computer parts. There were romance novels on the bedside table, satin pillows on the bed, make-up and perfume and jewellery on the dresser. She turned the light switch on and several soft red lanterns lit up at the frame of her bed. Her very sizeable bed.
Even with Tadashi out of the house for the night, she still felt the need to close her door.
She sat him down on her bed and stood before him, swaying a little from the booze. She stared down at him curiously for a moment. Then she began to roll her red straps off her shoulders, unzip herself, and step out of the dress as it fell to the floor. She stood there in only her bra and panties, but she quickly rid herself of those garments, too.
“Hiro,” she asked, pulling out her clips one by one and shaking out her hair. “…You’re alright with this, aren’t you?”
Now’s your chance. Say something.
She took out her earrings next. “You like me doing these nice things for you, don’t you?”
Say something.
“You love me, don’t you?”
SAY SOMETHING. DO SOMETHING.
“My little Hiro.” She smiled and put a hand to his hot cheek, tracing little circles there. His heart thudded in his chest so hard, Hiro thought it might explode. “My little dove. I know you’re shy. But I’ll take care of you. It’ll be lonely without your brother tonight. But he needn’t know…” She pushed him gently so he was lying on his back, staring up at her flushed face. It was making such a sweet expression. “Why don’t you sleep here with me tonight?”
As she began to undress him, he started to feel himself well and truly lose all sense of agency and control. He wasn’t a participant. He wasn’t even a person anymore – he was just a lifeless doll to be pushed and pulled into position, to be rocked back and forth, to be licked and sucked and fucked. To be played with. To be torn to pieces.
And then she made him lie right next to her for the entire night.