Company Picnic
You had to say he really cleaned up nicely. Not to brag but the new haircut looked very nice indeed, as did the dark blue dress shirt he wore (that you got him among a few other clothing items, some that actually fit and didn’t remind you of your scumbag ex-boyfriend whenever you looked at them). As for the arm, he wore a glove to conceal the metal hand and the sleeves of the shirt and a light jacket did the rest. It’s not like anyone at the party would expect the Winter Soldier to turn up there, but better safe than sorry. You were going into the midst of a group of people who specialized in advanced prosthetics after all. It was better not to let anyone see, you figured.
All in all, you had actually doubted until the last moment that James would really come with you to the party. You could never tell whether it would be a good day or a bad one or a really, really bad one (last time that happened he’d needed to lock himself in the closet for hours, not even allowing Becky near him) – if he hadn’t felt up to a social gathering, with complete strangers no less, you honestly would have understood. There was no way for you to get out of showing up, being the actual branch manager, but you could have easily made up an excuse for leaving early. It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy the yearly office summer party, but if James had needed you to take care of him that would certainly have come first.
But it seemed like that wouldn’t be necessary. James sat in the passenger seat of your car, looking out the window at the streets buzzing by absently. He seemed downright relaxed, almost cheerful even.
“You’re not really gonna introduce me as your housekeeper, are you?” he said more to the window than to you. You could swear you saw a small smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“I thought I’d just introduce you as a friend from school. We can’t use the same story from the hospital because HR knows I have no family, obviously. I think we can keep using the same name as at the hospital though, that shouldn’t be a problem.” You explained.
“Okay, so which school did we attend?”
“James Morita Middle and High Schools San José.”
His expression was too comical not to laugh, but you did feel a tiny little bit guilty.
“They named a school after Jim?”
“Yep.”
“I wonder what he thought about that.”
“He made the school board include the internment of Japanese-Americans during the war in the curriculum. In-depth. Even put it in his testament. It’s either that or rename the school.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right.”
“There’s also a James Buchanan Barnes Elementary School; I think it’s in Indiana.”
“How about that…” James muttered, looking distant. Each of the Howling Commandos had some sort of thing named after them, mostly close to where they had been from, and mostly schools of some sort or other. In fact you were pretty certain there was a Gabriel Jones Memorial Library at Howard University-
You snapped yourself out of your thoughts when you approached your company’s premises, where helium-filled balloons highlighted the way to the courtyard where the party took place.
“Welcome to Stark Industries Advanced Biomedical Engineering.” You said with a small flourish as soon as you had parked your car. James had been silent for the last minutes of the ride and now you found yourself wondering whether he was really as okay as he’d seemed.
“You can still change your mind. But I need to go in and say hello to everyone, you know; mingle a little.”
“Hmm? Oh, no, no it’s fine.” James answered you hurriedly, as if pulling himself from a daze. “Besides, I recall you promising me a dance.” He added cheekily and opened his door.
“Not really what I said, but maybe I could be persuaded.” You quipped back and climbed out of the car as well, smoothing out your dress after you’d locked it.
“You’re actually kind of important around here, aren’t you?” James stated quietly after you’d gotten through the first barrage of hellos and introductions without a hitch. You grinned. He hadn’t really asked you outright what you did and what your position was, but you supposed he had deduced a fair share from what you’d told him during the previous weeks. He knew by now that you had earned your degree in biomedical engineering at MIT, specializing in prosthetics but ultimately ending up in an administrative position. Except you hadn’t exactly said that you were basically the boss around here. Sure, Doctor Laing was head of research, but you were the manager of this small but important branch of the Stark empire.
“Yeah, did you not see everyone grovel before me?” you shot back and steered the two of you towards the drinks trolley. You wouldn’t have anything alcoholic seeing as you would still be driving later, but you were thirsty and since it was quite, if not uncomfortably, warm you supposed James would be, too.
He snorted in response, but failed to hide the grin spreading across his face. Against his firm belief to the contrary, he actually was enjoying himself a little bit. So far at least. He stopped short when you did.
“What?” he inquired, taking in your own, much broader grin and mischievous eyes.
“Technically,” you began, unable to ban the smugness from your voice, “You’re near the bouncy castle.”
It was almost comical how he hastily looked around, only to find the more or less solid wall of inflated green, yellow and red rubber not ten feet behind him, children keening in delight and all. He made a face.
“I’m not going on that.” He stated evenly, obviously expecting you to resist.
“Fine,” you replied casually, handing him your bag and stepping out of your sandals. Looks like the drinks would have to wait a bit longer. “Watch this for me then, will you?”
“Wait, you’re…?” you found his expression of befuddlement far more endearing than you probably should and struggled to keep your face from showing it. “Don’t you have a reputation to uphold or something like that?” he finished somewhat lamely. You smirked, stretching your shoulders in preparation.
“Oh, I do,” you replied sweetly, turning to walk purposefully towards the bouncy castle, “and it’s not the reputation of a killjoy.” And with that you sauntered off.
James watched you with a bemused smile as you catapulted yourself through the air, one hand at the hem of your dress to keep it from flying up and the other clasped around the hand of a little girl who couldn’t have been older than six. The little girl had bouncy pigtails and was waving at a slightly stressed-looking thin, wiry woman with equally thin, wiry glasses, who waved back with one hand and nervously twirled a pen in the other.
“I see Miss _________ is already exactly where I thought she would be.” A female voice came from his right, making him jump. He’d let his attention slip while watching you and was now trying to calm his pounding heart as he took in the slender figure of a sharply dressed woman a bit older than you with long, reddish-blonde hair.
“Oh, sorry to startle you – you must be _________’s plus one, since you’re holding her purse.” The woman smiled pleasantly, catching your eyes and nodding over to you, which prompted you to quickly say your good-byes to the little girl – Doctor Laing’s daughter – smooth down your hair and dress and make your way over. James’ smile did look a smidgeon panicked upon your arrival, so you patted his arm reassuringly before bracing yourself on it to pull your shoes back on.
“Miss Potts!” you exclaimed in astonishment, “I-I didn’t think you’d make it, with the board meeting in NY and all.”
She rolled her eyes, sighing a long-suffering sigh if ever there was one. You gave her a commiserating look.
“Please, none of that. If I wanted to deal with moody children I’d visit a high school. Dropping by here is just what I need now. DC Med throws the best summer parties – it’s common knowledge.”
You grinned at that, and then the expectant silence stretched long enough for you to realize that your boss was waiting for you to make the proper introductions.
“Right, this is my friend Will, from school.” You said, blabbering a bit about how he was currently visiting you and how could you possibly pass up a party? Pepper smiled along politely, making you feel even worse about lying to her.
“School?” she inquired, clearly intrigued.
“The Baseball team, to be exact.” James cut in, since you were obviously enough not the same age.
“Ah, yes! Well, ________ has definitely been a great addition to the company’s team. We absolutely destroyed Hammer Tec last year.”
“They call her hand ‘The Wrath of God’.” Someone cut in cheerfully, deepening the blush that had been forming at your boss’ praises. You looked to the source of the remark, finding your assistant Pam grinning cheekily.
“I’m no Mo’ne Davis, but I try.” You defer quickly, turning towards Pam.
“Please stop.” You told her in a small voice before going to properly introduce her. “This is my assistant Pamela Nguyen. Fashionably late as always.”
“It’s okay to say secretary.” Pam retorted, still grinning and sticking her hand out to James after greeting Miss Potts. James introduced himself with the fake name you were using, handling it much better than you, at least outwardly. Damn spy training! Miss Potts quickly excused herself in order to greet the employees she hadn’t said hello to yet, and you took the opening to ask James to get you some drinks. Pam pounced as soon as he was out of earshot.
“This new boyfriend of yours of much cuter than the fella you brought around last year.” she observed appreciatively, letting her eyes rake over James’ broad-shouldered frame. You almost choked on air.
“He’s not my …we’re not…that is not the nature of our relationship.” You sputtered, giving her a stern look despite the heat rising to your cheeks.
“Oh, so he’s available!” she chirped, delighted.
“No.” you said darkly, and somewhat too quickly. “Besides, I thought you preferred girls.”
“Honey, the whole point of this bisexuality thing is that either option can potentially make you go ‘Hmm nice’. My type is hot brunettes with an air of mystery.” Pam explained emphatically, making you giggle. That was certainly an apt description.
“Anyway, we’re friends. He’s having a bit of a rough time lately and he’s just visiting to get some change of scenery, you know, for therapeutic reasons. It’s completely platonic.” You explained afterwards. Pam arched a skeptical eyebrow.
“He’s still much cuter than that garbage can you brought last year.” She insisted, making you roll your eyes.
“Yeah, I know that now, too.” Your last relationship and its spectacular failure wasn’t something you enjoyed thinking about.
Pam gave you one last look, the kind that told you she wasn’t really buying it and would keep both you and James under close scrutiny for the rest of the day, before strolling off to chat with one of the veteran’s your company worked with, a young Lieutenant who you knew she had a giant crush on. Which made your earlier reaction all that more incongruous. You shook your head to rid yourself of the emotional dilemma your mind was slipping into. Yes, you’d wanted to bring James out here among regular people to show him that he wasn’t the monster or the machine he thought himself to be, but you had failed to factor into account the toll it would take on you to lie to all these people, even if it was just to protect him.
James returned before your dark thoughts could consume you any further. You gratefully accepted the drink from him and downed half of it in one go.
“In a strange turn of events, you are actually the one who seems nervous.” He commented drily, though he did look appropriately contrite after you gave him a long, pointed look.
“Sorry.” He murmured.
“Don’t be. I should be happy you’re so at ease; that was the goal. I just didn’t expect… I’m not a bad liar. I know it’s not the most charming quality to have, but that’s neither here nor there at the moment. Point is, I have little to no problem lying to strangers, especially authority figures.” He made a small appreciative noise, but you gave him a look signaling that you weren’t finished. You gestured around you at all the people filling the courtyard. “These are my colleagues, some of them I even consider friends. I just, I didn’t expect… I haven’t thought this through, and now I feel like a terrible person.”
You sniffled involuntarily, and James immediately drew his right arm around your shoulders in a warm side hug. It calmed you a little bit, the sheer fact that not only was he accepting physical comfort by now but also willing to give it himself. He made a soothing noise in the back of his throat, hand rubbing your upper arm comfortingly. You wiped your eyes surreptitiously.
“Wow, I feel worse about this than I do about caving someone’s skull in. That’s kinda messed up, right?”
“I feel like I should take offence about you asking me, of all people, that.” James retorted drily. It sounded a little forced, but you appreciated his efforts in trying to cheer you up nonetheless. It was mere weeks ago that he didn’t even smile, and now he cracked jokes of his own. If lying to your co-workers was needed to help his progress along then it was worth it, you thought, turning your face into his shoulder a moment to compose yourself again.
It was nice, standing there like that in your own little bubble, watching the people around you, socializing or otherwise having fun. After a while, you started commenting, tying the faces to the stories James already knew.
“And, of course, Doctor Laing.” You explained, pointing to the scientist who stood a few feet away with the little girl from earlier. She had been joined by her wife in the meantime, now led their daughter away to another of the stations that had been set up for the children. “I recruited her myself from Columbia when I was still working in New York, you know, after graduating.” James hummed along thoughtfully just as a very tall man with a pinned up right sleeve approached the small family with a genial smile.
“Uh-oh.” You said.
“What is it?” James asked, openly alert at once. “Who’s that?”
“Major Dr Weaver, our official army liaison. He’s great, but he can be a bit …over-enthusiastic. Marisa tends to be a bit jumpy, especially with how recent trials haven’t quite gone according to plan.” Indeed the scientist already looked a bit panicked as she struggled to retain an air of politeness. “Sorry, I gotta go stand by my head of research. You don’t have to come along if you don’t want to.” You explained quickly, already moving to take off in that direction. James’ arm slipped from your shoulders to lightly grasp your hand.
“Don’t know anyone else here, doll.” He murmured as he walked over alongside you.
You arrived just in time, it seemed, greeting both the skittish woman and the large, vibrant man with a cheerful: “Hey Doc!”
Marisa Laing looked utterly relieved upon spotting you. You shot her a reassuring smile. She wasn’t the most comfortable in large social settings. It wasn’t the Major’s fault, at any rate. For all his vivaciousness and impressive bulk – the man was built like a linebacker and the NBA’s best rolled into one; a veritable bear of a man with ebony skin – he possessed all the kindness of the proverbial Samaritan. He smiled broadly at you and James when you arrived, showing two lines of gleaming white teeth as he greeted you.
“Major, this isn’t a work thing. Take it easy. The future of prosthetics doesn’t hinge on this afternoon.” You scolded him mildly, which only resulted in his smile widening even further as he held up his hand in mock defense. Dr Laing used the time to excuse herself, scurry away and seek comfort from her wife.
“I swear I wasn’t going on about work, Miss _________.” He replied good-naturedly, throwing the arm around the shoulders of a young teenage girl who might have been seventeen or eighteen. “Have you met my daughter Maura?”
You had not, and shook the girl’s hand when she’d been introduced to you, giving her an encouraging smile. She returned it shyly, glancing up at James when you introduced him in turn, hand nervously pushing through her abundance of long dark curls. James’ eyes in turn were invariably drawn to the Major’s pinned up sleeve, though thankfully he wasn’t in any way obvious about it. In any case, Major Weaver and you carried the brunt of the conversation, James and Maura only throwing in a comment here or there. She was clearly shy in front of so many strangers and James was beginning to tense up a bit at your side. You’d have to give him some space to recuperate from so much interaction soon, but as of now he was still comparably alright. If he got critical you’d know; you’d agreed on a secret sign beforehand.
“Say, has anyone ever told you that you look a lot like that one actor? The one from that fairytale series you like so much, sweetie – what’s-his-name – he was in that World War 2 series as well.” Major Weaver was saying just now, looking from James to his daughter and back with an expectant expression.
“Sebastian Stan, Dad.” The Major’s adolescent daughter replied curtly, a blush rising to her cheeks, “He played Bucky Barnes in the Howling Commandos series. I thought you’d remember that, of all people.”
“I did, sweetheart, just not the name.” Major Weaver retorted good-naturedly, turning from his daughter back to James. “Yeah, you definitely look a lot alike. Has anyone ever made that connection?”
“No, sir, you’re the first.” James replied, fighting to keep his polite smile from slipping. You felt him tug at your hand slightly, tapping out an SOS on your knuckles, and that was your sign.
“Goodness, I’m starving!” you exclaimed emphatically, seeing James nod in your peripheral vision. “It was lovely catching up with you again, Major; and a pleasure meeting you, dear!” you said your goodbyes to the Weavers and maneuvered James towards the food, taking a turn between some tables to get him far enough away from the crowds that no one would approach you.
“Okay?” you questioned after just letting him breathe for a while, “We can make our way home if you want. Just say the word.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m fine.” He smiled shakily. You weren’t quite convinced.
“I’m serious, James.” you said earnestly, taking his hands like so many times before now, “You don’t have to fake and suffer through it, neither for your benefit, nor mine, nor anyone else’s. I know you don’t like showing weakness, and I have a pretty good idea why, but…”
“Why?” he echoed flatly, as if he’d never really consciously thought about it. You gulped and dropped your voice lower, even though there was no one within earshot.
“Because they would hurt you for it.” You stated, hatred for HYDRA flaring up like it was wont to do lately. “No one here is going to hurt you for anything.”
His eyes brightened gratefully at you, and he squeezed your hands gently.
“I’m okay, really. Besides, I promised you a dance. And what was that about food?”
You gave him an unimpressed look, letting him know that a more sophisticated mode of deflection was needed to fool you. He visibly deflated.
“I promise to tell you when I can’t handle it. Please, I just want to feel human for a while.”
“Promise?” you urged. It was one thing when it was just yourself in your apartment, but then again you’d never have brought him here if you’d had even the slightest bit of doubt that he wouldn’t be able to handle himself. James inclined his head in a small nod.
“Promise.” He said, somberly. You smiled.
“Let’s eat, then. They do great things with burgers here.”