Cap vs. the Entertainment Industry
Steve Rogers @captainsrogers
What is a Roomba, and why does @RealTonyStark keep telling me I need one?
12.5k retweets 21K likes
The Daily Bugle @thedailybugle
Captain America meets his adoring public http://bit.ly/1n6gK
Steve Rogers @captainsrogers
Why is half of New York standing outside Stark Tower?
Tony Stark @RealTonyStark
@captainsrogers I think it's time for you to lose your metaphorical paparazzi virginity.
m-i-g-h-t-yshield
omfg
RUN CAP RUN!!
#i feel so bad for him but also im laughing #captain america #the paparazzi are pricks who new
1,238 notes
TODAY’S HEADLINE: NEW YORKERS HAVE NO SELF CONTROL
(What else is new?)
Written by Sandra Gupta @sandyg_independent, at 9:14 PM, Monday 9th April, 2012
This morning the world awoke to the surprise of seeing more than two thousand journalists, superhero fanatics and regular citizens camped outside the Stark Tower in New York City, following a series of public interviews by Captain America. Published by both The Daily Bugle and broadcast on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, the first live appearances of the iconic political figure Steve Rogers sparked heated debate concerning his identity and his political opinion regarding a number of relevant social issues. Because of the private nature of Captain America, major media outlets have yet to conduct interviews discussing topics other than his revival and the battle of New York, and there is wide speculation of what his experiences have been upon discovering the 21st Century.
Particularly, influential spokespeople such as Bill O’Reilly and Megyn Kelly have questioned Rogers’ loyalty to traditional American values, noting the idealistic representation of Captain America following its creation in 1944. Immortalised in highly conservative rhetoric, the Captain America franchise was utilised largely throughout the anti-Communist policy in the late 20th Century, often serving as a symbol of democracy and American supremacy during the arms race. Popularised as an interpretation of the Uncle Sam posters, the Be Strong, America brand effectively revitalised the Captain America brand in the 1970s, which then led to right wing news groups and activists choosing to incorporate Steve Rogers, or at least, the idea of Steve Rogers, into popular political discussion and debate.
Although Captain America’s political affiliations are, at present, unknown, concerns of altruistic suicidal tendencies by Steve Rogers throughout the 1940s prior to his “death” have begun to permeate public opinion. This has, of course, impacted his image, which in turn led to the mass commune outside of Stark Tower.
There is still hope for some kind of resolution, but at this point the only widely accepted means of Captain America officially being “recognised” as the figure he was, is to engage more publicly with conversation and question, noted by Bill O’Reilly to: “stop hiding from his image and come out to answers some real questions.”
Clearly a jab at Daily Show host Jon Stewart, you can choose to ignore the innuendo of exactly what Captain Rogers will “come out” as, and instead just wonder exactly how similar Steve Rogers and Captain America are.
2561 comments
Comment from chillingwilds
I think we all know what’s really happening here: Cap’s just afraid of offending the left wing “SJWs” and the feminazis with his traditional values. It makes sense, he comes from a time where America actually respected the founding fathers and patriotic ideals, not a time when honest opinions can now be judged based on some ridiculous vendetta to censor the mainstream media
Comment from cartersssagent
looking at cap’s history, i find it really hard to believe that he’d actually be as right wing as everyone seems to think that he is. if anyone actually read any of the published biographies, he grew up poor, in a poor neighborhood. becoming a total hunk wouldn’t change that.
Reply from tropic_thundering
just because all of the fucking tumblr shitstains want him to be homosexual doesnt mean that you can shove ur political agendas up Cap’s ass
Reply from cartersssagent
did your brain grown out of your ass?
Show 18 more replies
Comment from flyingjaegar
I know people want an opinion for him, but I genuinely can’t imagine he’d even care about a lot of the stuff that people are talking about today. Like, a lot of it isn’t relevant at all????
Comment from _dashstreak
I still believe that Captain America is a symbol of our country, who’s been turned into a billboard for left-wing hacks as they brutalize his image in the name of “political correctness”
Show 2537 more comments
The Daily Bugle @thedailybugle
THIS JUST IN: Captain America announces press conference http://bit.ly/34jklP
Fox News @FoxNews
BREAKING: Press Conference for Captain America planned for May http://fxn.ws/2aAuo4
Neeta @iron_lasss
i cant wait for the day fox news realizes that cap is about as conservative as a cabaret #CapConference
lady jane gray @capscorefour
This is going to be the best and worst thing ever #CapConference
Captain Carter @lookouthewindowandsee
CONFIRMED DATE: 12th May @9PM #CapConference
Steve Rogers @captainsrogers retweeted Tony Stark @RealTonyStark
Tony Stark @RealTonyStark
CA Conference at 8/9c on May 9th #CapConference #TheyGrowUpSoFast
The Star Spangled Man: The Politics of Captain America
Captain America has always existed as an odd symbol of the American lifestyle: a straight white male who achieved power and wealth through determination and a loyalty to traditional American values. Paradoxically, historical interpretations of Steve Rogers differ as based upon the author’s context: his life was founded in Brooklyn where, as the son of Irish immigrants, rather than being introduced to a highly religious and patriotic lifestyle, records show that Captain America was instead impoverished and ill. While historical records concerning his life pre-serum are scarce, which remains particularly apparent because of the death of Bucky Barnes, arguably the only person of significance who had known Steve Rogers prior to this event, evidence would imply that Captain America is not the Christian icon mainstream media has been hoping for. Instead, he could in fact be the opposite.
Although queer readings of Captain America’s life were scarce prior to the turn of the millennia, the relationship of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes has always been heavily entrenched in the examination of World War II American life, notably in Figure of a Nation (Loews, 1954) and You Will Believe a Man Can Fly: the Life and Times of Captain America (Henderson, 1987). Though their friendship is rarely interpreted as anything but platonic, an exploration of a potentially queer, poor Captain America seems one that could be realised in the twentieth century, which would effectively deconstruct bigoted and elitist values on the idealised view of “America.”
Public opinion does not exist within a vacuum, and thus it can be assumed that following Captain America’s resurrection in late 2011, the man himself may appear more human than scholars could have ever realised, and may in fact shatter the metaphorical glass ceiling from which our views of heroes are constructed.
[from: Delilah Adebayo, The Star Spangled Man: The Politics of Captain America, 2012]
I'm Sam Wilson, a former pararescue in the US Air Force, currently working at the Veteran's Association in DC. Ask Me Anything!
submitted 12 hours ago by SamWilson_DC
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[-] Arthonet 928 points 12 hours ago
What inspired you to start working for the VA? A lot of the vets that I know are extremely reluctant to reconnect emotionally with anything regarding the armed forces, so has this helped you adjust back at home? What kind of things do you do at the VA?
Also, major kudos to you. I've read some articles on pararescues and you did some good shit.
[-] Sam Wilson_DC 1348 12 hours ago
I actually lost some of the guys in my unit, so for me, after I came home working for the VA helped me to pull my life back into perspective. I do a lot of group sessions and lectures, and helping other vets recover has played a big part in my recovering. Although I never really dissociated myself from the trauma, because of some of the missions I went on, I saw a lot more direct damage and civilian casualties. If I didn't join the VA, I probably would have secluded myself socially and emotionally, and even if you don't ever fully reintegrate into society, once you're discharged it's important to reconnect or interact with people or the outside world. Otherwise, you'll just be trapped inside your own head, which is one of the worst things you can do to yourself.
Thanks a lot!
[-] Arthonet 119 points 12 hours ago
Wow. Even back in America you're still serving our country
[-] DoctorStrangeness 1137 points 12 hours ago
So this might come off as really ignorant, because after reading your post I'd also like to thank you for your service, but I was wondering about what you think about the Captain America is depressed speculation, based on the last couple of his interviews. Personally, I don't think a whole lot of the theories have a lot of water, but since you work with a lot of vets, what do you feel about the situation? And how do you think people should be treating him?
[-] Sam Wilson_DC 3459 12 hours ago
Concerning whether or not he's depressed, based on my experiences I'd say he's definitely struggling with at least a minor dissociation from trauma, because if you follow the timeline pretty much as soon as he woke up he was thrown back into battle. This isn't exactly an uncommon tactic: you put a soldier in familiar territory, and they can adjust more easily in conflict than in regular life, though generally this conflict doesn't concern aliens or Tony Stark. But that method isn't healthy, because once conflict ends or they are removed from it, they might sink because of their experiences or feelings over what they saw/did. Again, all speculation, but if Cap isn't at least suffering from some form of pronounced depression or PTSD I'd be shocked. Keep in mind that a week before the plane went down, he lost Bucky Barnes. And I'm pretty sure that Jacques Dernier (another original Howling Commando) died maybe a week before Cap came back, which is of itself already upsetting.
But I think what concerns me most is all this speculation about whether or not he was suicidal, particularly the idea that he did it because he lost Barnes. And its true: he and Barnes were best friends, but honestly if I had to label his decision to bring down the plane, I'd attribute it to something like altruistic suicide, which means that he brought down that plane and essentially killed himself for the benefit of others. Again, not necessarily true, but if you want to psychoanalyze him, that'd probably be your best bet. Being a hero like Captain America in that kind of war is bound to give you a complex.
Remember, this is all just speculation. The best way to treat him would be to slowly reintroduce him back into the world, and I don't mean by engaging in conflict. I'd look into creating connections in people with similar experiences or situations, or getting him involved with the community in other ways. If the only way Cap learns how to relate to the 21st century is through fighting, I can guarantee that it'll backfire in the long run. Also, the media should just piss off.
[-] dragon_a87 243 points 12 hours ago
would you say that your a big cap fan?
[-] Sam Wilson_DC 4762 12 hours ago
I'd love to say no, but my Halloween costume from when I was eight would disagree http://i.imgur.com/LGpzA.jpg
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[-] shrlckfalls 406 points 11 hours ago
because of a majority of vets suffering from ptsd, what are your experiences with people dealing with depression?
[-] Sam Wilson_DC 4762 12 hours ago
I'm not a therapist and I focus on day to day achievements and difficulties, so I don't specifically concentrate my attention on depression. Every case of depression is different, and I'm not going to pretend to be an expert, but I think the most important thing to remember is that depression isn't an emotion. It's more of a state of being, and depression doesn't mean that you can't feel happy or excited about something, but more like you're waiting to go home or relax and then finding out you're already there, and you still don't feel safe. Depression also doesn't necessarily mean that there is an "absence" of something in someone's life, but that instead that there is a presence of other things, like anxiety or paranoia, or dissociation, or a complete lack of self worth. Take what I'm saying with a solid grain of salt, please, because really the best way to "deal" with depression is to talk with people who understand the fact that its multifaceted and a unique experience for everyone affected by it.
Live News Transcript @transcribednews1
Complete transcript of @capsrogers' press conference #CapConference http://bit.ly/1t5WF47
9:06 PM,12th May 2012
Moderator: This is the live press conference for Steve Rogers.
Steve Rogers: Hello, everyone. Thank you for coming.
Daily Bugle: Mr Rogers, there has been great speculation about your adjustment to the 21st Century. Can you address rumors of your depression and potential suicide attempty in 1945?
SR: Those are personal matters, but I can say that I am getting used to the future. I do not believe that my having depression or committing suicide are true, considering my own feelings and experience in those situations, so I'm also going to say no, I am not at present suffering any sort of extended trauma.
DB: But you understand that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is common for returning veterans, and would be even more so considering the events leading up to your apparent death.
SR: I'm going to have to insist that I'm not suffering from PTSD, and I'd like to stop all questions on this subject.
ABC: Captain, what are your views on present day social issues?
SR: Would you care to be more specific?
ABC: There has been discussion about your loyalty to traditional American values.
SR: Honestly, I think that there are more important things to talk about than whether or not I'm the right-wing Conservative American I know people want me to be.
(Noise level briefly escalates)
ABC: Can you elaborate?
SR: I read the papers. I understand what some people are saying: I guess Captain America has always been built up as this patriotic idealist who upholds the American way above all else, but that's not accurate. I mean... I lived through the Great Depression. To be frank with you, as much as I can appreciate the fact that you're trying to superimpose this idea of the perfect soldier on me, that's not who I am, and that's not what Captain America represented in the 1940s. To be honest, he was more of a dancing monkey than anything.
(Laughter)
SR: Personally, I'd rather you ask me about the comparison of one century to another. I led the first desegregated army unit in 1944, and now its illegal to discriminate in the armed forces based on race. Which is great, and a real improvement.
ABC: Would you say that racial bias has been eliminated from society?
SR: Absolutely not. It doesn't take a lot to see that there is still rampant bigotry in America, especially since I grew up with an Irish mother, and I copped a lot from that, growing up. Admittedly, there aren't any internment camps, and black folks can vote now, but there's still discrimination. Saying that bias has been removed is like saying that a dame can walk down the street without being whistled at. (Pause) Also, the fact that that still happens disturbs me.
Fox News: What are your views on gay marriage?
SR: I think it's good that queer people can get married legally without getting shot in the street.
DB: Would you like to address rumors of you being homosexual?
SR: Um, no. Not really. Does that matter?
DB: Are you confirming that you are?
SR: No? I just don't understand how it's relevant.
FN: So you're homosexual?
SR: Why do you want to know whether or not I'm queer?
ABC: Are you homophobic, Mr Rogers?
SR: I don't have anything against homosexuals, if that's what you're trying to ask me
Independent News: What are your plans for the future?
SR: I'm actually planning on moving out of New York and travelling.
IN: Any idea what you'll be doing after that?
SR: Well, I won't be having more press conferences, I can tell you that much.
(Laughter)
New York Times: Building on previous questions, can you talk about how you've been confronted with social and political issues?
SR: Really, I've just been confronted with how much more tolerance there is now. If nothing else, I'm happy that society has matured enough to incorporate tolerance of different peoples, and doesn't just persecute people who don't fit into the traditional American individual.
NYT: Addressing the Avengers Initiative, are there are plans to engage with internal conflicts as a team?
SR: At this point, all of us have different goals, which doesn't allow for us to team up again for the time being. But no, I can't imagine any of us would willingly participate in global conflicts at this time.
DB: How would the Avengers deal with the conflicts in the Middle East?
SR: I believe we would fully research the situation, to gain a better understanding of the conflict. We also wouldn't declare our intentions at a news conference.
DB: What are your opinions of the current political climate at the White House?
SR: If you're trying to ask me about my opinion on a black president, I'm going to say that this kind of societal change gives me hope for the future, as cliched as that sounds.
ABC: So you are homosexual.
(Pause)
SR: Really?
Press Conference Reveals Horrifying Truth: CAPTAIN AMERICA IS A REAL PERSON
Written by Joe Morgan @jmorganjourno, at 8:36 AM, 13th May 2012
There was a justified level of public outcry today following a press conference held by Captain America in New York, which had been organised in an attempt to address varied rumors about his status as an extra-terrestrial. Prominent figures in the American infrastructure were shocked and appalled at Rogers’ blatant lack of patriotism and traditional racial bigotry in the face of contemporary social events. Though unbiased news networks such as Fox and CNN attempted to question the Captain on his status as a straight, white, Conservative icon, he instead met them with vicious liberal rhetoric, showcasing the fact that our greatest hero’s mind has been infected by the “social justice” agenda.
Although some are of the opinion that Captain America can’t possibly fulfill every expectation about his opinions or views, his status as an iconic figure should exempt him from participating in any discussion that would not be broadcast on Fox News. As a nation, we deserve a figurehead that effectively transcends having his own opinions and experiences, and instead embodies what conservative America has always stood for: institutionalized bigotry against anyone who isn’t a straight white dude.
And the idea that Captain America may be an actual person with legitimate concerns is utterly ridiculous; about as ridiculous as the idea that he spent the first twenty five years of his life living in poverty with multiple physical disabilities. Everyone knows that Captain America was born when the founding fathers spoke and a bald eagle spread its wings and soared through the sky. Captain America is America, and so all this press conference has proven is that even the most traditional and authentic symbols of the American Dream may become contaminated from the “SJWs” and the “femininazis.” So really, all that anyone needs to know about this "Captain America" figure is that he represents everything that Fox News and the Conservative government is against: a figure determined to protect the people of America, not the mysterious, wrinkly puppet masters who watch our every move.
5017 comments
Comment from tropic_thundering
everyone is taking the piss out of rogers' ideas about political correctness or whatever, and their failing to understand the bigger picture: captain america is about american values, and now traditional ideals are being ignored and laughed at because some faggot has decided to piss on everything america stands for. well fuck that. he should have his medals removed, and be banned from our borders. it's a miracle he hasn't torn up the constitution yet
Reply from cartersssagent
I think it's a miracle you can breathe by yourself, you homophobic jackass
Reply from crouchingtigerhiddenbadass
believe it or not his political views dont change the fact that he STOPPED NEW YORK FROM BEING BLOWN UP BY A NUKE
Show 26 more replies
Comment from flyingjaegar
the sheer idiocy of this country continues to astound me
Comment from capfamerica
If nothing else, I think this just proves that nothing is sacred in today's society. I stand by the belief that he isn't the *real* Captain America. You can say all you want about Cap being commercialized and not really reflecting the original, but there's no way that our armed forces would let this left wing nut become one of the most influential soldiers in history, much less give him superpowers. I'd like to think that as a nation we have more pride than that, and we'd choose someone who really represented America and what the founding father's stood for. If you ask me, this Cap doesn't know the words to the national anthem, and probably burns flags in his backyard. it wouldnt surprise me if he supported the muslims
Comment from sunnyrose
this whole situation is just ridiculous
Show 4985 more comments
iron-lass
BREAKING NEWS: CAPTAIN AMERICA IS THE LIBERAL SUPERHERO WHO GIVES ZERO SHITS ABOUT FOX NEWS THAT WE ALWAYS DESERVED
#IM PISSING #captain america #amazing #text
10,607 notes
iron-lass
anonymous asked
what did you think of the captain america conference?
oh anon WHERE TO EVEN BEGIN.
I think that more than anything this just proved what most of us were thinking: that Steve Rogers was never the uptight conservative mainstream America wanted him to be. Even though the press conference itself was actually quite short and really buoyed down by stupid questions (looking at you abc), what it showed is that cap isn't interested in bigotry. And, even more surprisingly, that he's totally willing to address issues like racism and sexism, and then compare the 1940s to now.
And not only that: he's totally dismissive of this hyper-masculine cap that's been built up over the past century, and doesn't seem to have any interest in maintaining that traditional representation, and instead seems determined to deconstruct all the ideas surrounding him and his costume.
But really, I'm most excited about the fact that he didn't confirm he was gay or not
QUEER CAP QUEER CAP
#always queer captain america #asks #i know that it's super invasive but let me dream ok
27,892 notes
iron-lass
ive gotten so much hate about the queer cap post omg
#im a celebrity get me outta here #text #tumblr isnt homophobic yeah sure
2,510 notes
egotrain
Captain America, the ~Alleged Homosexual~ greets a fan
in the cutest way possible
#i actually saw him today in new york and i died #he said hi to me and my sister #i want to curl up and cry he's so perfect #cap #captain america
29, 612 notes
thepenismightierthantheshield
GUYS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
#HE'S STILL IN NEW YORK #please tell me this means that cap is on facebook #captain america #steve rogers #humans of new york
45,920 notes
s-aringshield
I know I have some followers who are a bit behind on the Cap fiasco, so here's a list of most of the shit that's gone down:
Cap's twitter account
Cap spotted at Stark Tower
The Daily Show interview
Bill O'Reilly's report
Interview with Courtney Lane
Press Conference
Conference analysis
Cap spotted in Brooklyn
Cap on the "Humans of New York" Facebook Page
#Captain America #Resource #TDS #If some of the links don't work please tell me
18,304 notes
mightyat0m
HEY GUESS WHAT: IMPOSING THE IDEA OF QUEER!CAP ONTO THE ACTUAL CAPTAIN AMERICA IS NOT ~COOL~ OR ~SOCIALLY AWARE~
IF YOU DECIDE THAT HARASSING CAP ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT HE'S GAY IS A GOOD IDEA, IT'S NOT.
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU LIKE HIM MORE BECAUSE HE MIGHT BE QUEER, GOING UP TO HIM AND STARTING TO ASK INVASIVE QUESTIONS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE
#I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY THIS #FFS GUYS USE YOUR COMMONSENSE #CAPTAIN AMERICA
11,087 notes
Fox News @FoxNews
BREAKING: CAPTAIN AMERICA IS NOT REAL! http://fxn.ws/1BMD8vq
Tony Stark @RealTonyStark
@FoxNews THROWBACK: YES. HE. IS
Neeta@iron_lasss
UM http://bit.ly/2n1yvm
The Daily Bugle @thedailybugle
Captain America causes further controversy?! http://bit.ly/1AYmpgr
TEEN BLOGGER OFFERED 3 MILLION DOLLARS AFTER ACCIDENTALLY OBTAINING A PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN COLLECTION OF CAPTAIN AMERICA'S ARTWORK
cartwheelingplatypus
egotrain asked
MEGHAN WHAT THE FUCK
TBH I JUST HOPE HE DOESN'T WANT HIS NOTEBOOK BACK
#is this the real life #is this a fantasy
10,578 notes
Steve Rogers @captainsrogers
You can keep the sketchbook.
20k retweets 26.4K likes
The Daily Bugle @thedailybugle
Smithsonian buys Captain America artwork for new exhibit? http://bit.ly/39tkJqv
Smithsonian @smithsonian
We're excited to announce the opening of a Captain America exhibit in DC in 2013!
Steve Rogers@captainsrogers
I’m honored that the @smithsonian are having a Captain America exhibit. My mom would be proud.
Fox News@FoxNews
Captain America spotted fleeing New York?! http://fxn.ws/2bBhyu
The Black Widow@itsybitsyspy retweeted Tony Stark@RealTonyStark
Tony Stark@RealTonyStark
I can confirm that Captain America has left New York. Where has he gone? To ring the Liberty Bell, probably. idk
Hayden@houseofsecrets
Pretty sure I just saw @captainsrogers and Black Widow in DC???
#teamcap@Queen__Nothing
Spotted Cap and his new redheaded bestie at Starbucks #HellooooDC
The Daily Bugle @thedailybugle
In an act of narcissism, Captain America goes to DC to be closer to his exhibition? http://bit.ly/7adFGh
Captain America Comes Again!
Captain America’s History in Cinematography
Written by Inessa Serhati @inessagold_, at 8:36 PM, 4th June 2012
Alright Cap-stans, time for an impromptu history on one of the most prolonged and horrific train wrecks to ever grace American screens. In today’s day and age, when superheroes are torn from the icy tundra or escape from terrorists in a handmade Robocop cosplay, I think it’s about time to talk about Captain America’s long and very eventful history in cinema. Though the actual Steve Rogers may have risen from his proverbial grave, I think that, in reflection, some of these films may send him plummeting back six feet under. While Captain America may have started onstage, the franchise has truly become a massive, smoke spewing, out-of-control locomotive that’s careening of a cliff, and the eclectic mixture of directors and actors chosen to carry the spangled shield are really a testament to that fact.
First, it’s important to address the pre-cinematic features: namely, the short-lived and exceptionally unrealistic interpretation of Captain America in the Captain America Adventure Program. Originally running from 1946 to 1949, it was swiftly axed before the Cap Craze of the 1950s, it is widely believed that it was cancelled because of a very angry and offended Peggy Carter, who achieved a notable position in the SSR in 1948. If this is true, it isn’t exactly hard to see why: the badly edited and often times cringe-worthy dialogue is enough to make even the strongest Cap fan wince, particularly regarding the 107th Brigade’s triage nurse “Betty Carver,” who spends about fifteen minutes of the twenty minute program being tied up by Nazis and crying for help. And, you guessed it, there is absolutely no mention of Gabe Jones or Jim Morita, though this is also the first appearance of the “kid sidekick” interpretation of sniper and POW figure Bucky Barnes, who also served as Steve Rogers’ right hand man throughout most of the conflict. And yes, it does kind of feel like the entertainment industry was pissing on Barnes’ grave.
The first Captain America cinematic release was Captain America Saves the Day! (1962), followed by two ill-advised sequels Captain America Comes Again (1964), whose title inadvertently led to the foundation of the porn industry, and the last of the series: Captain America and Bucky Return! (1967) also famously introduced Burt Ward as the “teenaged” sidekick Bucky Barnes. Are they horrific? Absolutely. Corny to the ninth degree, and bursting with terrible sound effects and a flying shield that is clearly attached to string, Starship Enterprise style, they manage to intricately avoid the inherent race and gender issues linked to both Captain America and the Howling Commandos by, again, leaving out Morita and Jones and placing real-life feminist juggernaut Peggy Carter behind a desk asking phones with perfectly painted nails. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so horrifying, with the directors choosing to abandon the source material almost completely, and instead creating a camp, colorful interpretation of the worst war in history, with sixties fashion and accompanying soundtrack to boot.
Around the same time (1970) the first Captain America television show Captain America and his Howling Commandos premiered on American airwaves, and is famous for the first appearance of Gabe Jones. Riding on the coat-tails of the Civil Rights Movement and buoyed on second-wave feminism, this unfortunately short-lived show was a high point of entertainment, and showcased a variety of talent and satirical elements that were almost unheard of during that time. While the actual Peggy Carter and Gabe Jones are rumoured to have been partially responsible for this socially aware and startlingly earnest interpretation, it didn’t save it from a premature cancellation that removed a staple of television history, particularly considering that many of the episodes were later destroyed by a series of anti-black groups in the 1970s.
And this is where we enter the first circle of hell, also known as the 1978 inevitable action flick America’s Captain, which is considered to be a major cause of the breakdown of détente in the second period of the Cold War. Exceptionally gory and horrifically acted, this abomination exploded at the box office, a weird combination of propaganda and the threat of nuclear destruction driving people to the cinemas in droves. Fortunately, that was not enough to protect its bomb of a sequel, America’s Captain II: Journey of Death (1980), and the franchise died quickly after. Honestly, I am angry and disappointed that people actually encouraged this kind of behaviour, regardless of how much you want to see Nazis purposely through themselves at Cap’s punches before ducking out of the shot as soon as they’ve been “hit.” But those who have seen its incomprehensible madness will recognise the “America will never die! I stopped the Nazis, and I’ll stop the commies too! I’ll punch Stalin so hard Lenin’s face will grow out of his neck!” and the resulting ridiculousness that effectively transcends context and historical fact, such as how both Lenin and Stalin had been dead for almost forty years by the time this shitstain hit the public. And like how the Third Reich and Communist Russia are essentially interchangeable, obviously.
But this was also a partial inspiration for the grimdark interpretation of Cap’s demise which premiered in 1989 under the title Torn from the Ice and Snow. A weird Blade Runner-esque production from director and producer Ridley Scott, this film presented a fictionalised interpretation of Steve Rogers waking up to a toxic, dystopian world fraught with gang violence and corrupt governments. And very similarly to Blade Runner, Ridley decides to “subtly” introduce the idea of whether or not Cap is ~real~, and if he died in the ice. The original people from Cap’s life, whether they be the Howling Commandos, Peggy Carter, or Bucky Barnes are all absent, and we’re instead left with a weird, awkwardly shot and very dark portrayal of Captain America, who spends most of his time looking into the distance or talking about the “shattering ice” (what?). Is Cap real? I don’t know, but I sure wish this film wasn’t.
Now we’re in the new millennia, where cinematography has achieved greater storytelling and acting, none of which is reflected in the 2008 remake The Shield of Steve Rogers, a film that is actually worse than the original Captain America Saves the Day! No longer having the excuse of poor graphics and worse discrimination policies, I don’t know what inspired Nick Cage to sign up to another “superhero” style film after Ghost Rider, but I can only hope that this has convinced him to give up capes altogether. Driven entirely by terrible visuals and a worse script, Bucky Barnes remains as a teenager, this time played by Freddie Highmore, for reasons none of us can explain. Though both Morita and Jones appear in this adaptation they are reduced to background noise and essentially fade out of existence behind Cage’s chin, while Carter struggles a bit with a firearm before returning to base, crying as Cap disappears into the icy tundra. This film is two hours long, and I rewatched it for you people. I hope you appreciate my sacrifice.
Cap-fans got a bit of a respite with the biopic Boy from Brooklyn (2010), which presented the most accurate portrayal of Cap’s life since Captain America and His Howling Commandos. Cataloguing Steve Rogers’ life from before he was Captain America, it also features interviews with the surviving Commandos and the vivacious Peggy Carter, as well as presented historical documents and filmography which were actually a really interesting watch. I can’t say that I’m usually such a big documentary fan, but this successfully bypassed any expectations I may have had, and actually portrayed Cap in a sympathetic but also realistic light, which really showcased him as an actual person for the first time, not just a walking action figure. It was also the first adaptation to portray Bucky Barnes as an adult past puberty, and bless them for it.
But then we got yanked right back into Satan’s asshole with Christopher Nolan’s Starman (2011) which proved to the American public that just because you directed two Batman movies, it doesn’t mean you can cure a dying horse, and by God we need to let this horse die. Released only a few months before Cap’s actual resurrection, this unnecessarily dark and gloomy film went for two and a half hours, and showcased a lot of talented actors being very boring and giving very disinterested performances. Who knew that watching Ben Affleck deliver a monologue about justice and truth and the American way to a brunette Jennifer Lawrence would make me want to gauge out my eyes. While it was acclaimed by some critics and well received at the box office, the general consensus is that it’s a ridiculous portrayal of a walking America flag, that’s clearly trying to take itself way too seriously. Yes, we know that you directed Inception. But that doesn’t mean that you can turn Captain America into something that he isn’t: a miserable, pity-beard growing (yes, this actually happens) unlikeable lump shrouded in dark shots and gloomy and highly realistic war scenes. Also, you cast Jim Morita as a white dude. What the actual fuck, Nolan?!
With the announcement of the Smithsonian Institute opening its doors to the Captain America exhibit next year, it’s a good time to reflect on Captain America’s highly controversial and often horrific and unwatchable past. With the premiere of new and hopefully historically correct series Howlies, also coming out next year, we can only hope that Cap will start getting better treatment by the media and the entertainment industry. The last thing he needs after fighting aliens and Tony Stark is another America’s Captain. *Shudder*
11405 comments
Comment from cartersssagent
holy shit America’s Captain and Captain America and His Howling Commandos were my childhood. I had no idea that most of these other films even existed!!
Comment from chillingwilds
I think that America’s Captain is really the best interpretation of the Captain America we *deserve.* Yes, it’s ridiculous and gory and badly acted, but the core elements of Captain America are all there: someone who does whatever it takes to fight for the American Way, and against threats against us and what we stand for. I get that the OP is shitting on all of them, but His Howling Commandos is SJW crap several decades too early, and Starman is another genius Nolan film who managed to capture the torn nature of Cap perfectly. Hopefully, Howlies takes a traditional root and stays true to what Cap should and does represent to the American public and dream
Comment from crouchingtigerhiddenbadass
it’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion. i went on a cap-marathon a few weeks ago and i was surprised at how BAD most of them were. like you’d think more of them would get it right, but they’re all so off and wrong.
Comment from sunnyrose
My uncle was actually on the production team for America’s Captain, and he said it was a definite low point in his professional career. And he’s worked on things like Batman and Robin and Little Nicky
Reply from flyingjaegar
that’s both hilarious and horrifying omg
Reply from whammyjam180
I think watching it was the low point of my life
Reply from cyclops_bunny
shield of steve rogers is still worse
Comment from _dashstreak
I hate it when people bash on Nolan’s films just because they don’t understand his artistic premise and ideas for his characters
Reply from haley_hofferman
but he clearly didn’t *have* any ideas for his characters. that was the problem with the movie.
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Steve Rogers @captainsrogers
I honestly thought that my USO films were the worst films ever, but then I watched #AmericasCaptain and was proven wrong.
27k retweets 34.8K likes
Steve Rogers @captainsrogers
So many questions are unanswered: why do I have a beard? Who wanted to film in the dark? Why is Jim Morita white? #ShieldofSteveRogers
Steve Rogers @captainsrogers
I really appreciate the fact that they made Bucky's age match his sense of humor. #CaptainAmericaSavesTheDay
Steve Rogers @captainsrogers
For those curious, that last tweet was sarcastic.
32.4k retweets 52K likes
Steve Rogers @captainsrogers
It's amazing how so many films about me were made, and yet so few of them got anything right.
Steve Rogers @captainsrogers FOLLOWERS 45.72M
cartwheelingplatypus
the fact that captain america actually watched all the captain america films gives me life
#the fact that he hated all of them is like the icing on the cake #what a time to be alive #cap
8,025 notes
iron-lass
HOWLIES and SMITHSONIAN EXHIBITION NEWS
ok so The Daily Bugle just released an article detailing all the dates and when things are happening, so:
- the exhibit will be in the space museum, and will be opening in december next year
- yeah, i know it's ages away but bear with me
- BUT we do get a shiny new cap series which is premiering on ABC in April next year, and at this point they're apparently gone to Cap for recommendations and ideas
- which means we might finally get the jim morita we all deserve
but on another note, please remember to be respectful, and keep in mind that james falsworth died yesterday, so if you are lucky enough to see cap, remember that he's probably mourning and struggling a bit right now, so be respectful and don't be the person who bug him for an instagram photo please.
#captain america #howlies #smithsonian #cap #text #fandom wank
7,236 notes
queen-ddany
A list of questions I want Captain America to answer:
- What are your views on gay marriage (EDIT: marriage equality, sorry)
- What do you think about vaccines?
- Why did you watch America's Captain? Why did you do that to yourself?
- What are your views on police violence?
- Are you concerned with a lack of gender equality in the workplace?
- Would you say that some things have stayed the same?
- Have you ever seen the Captain America cartoon? I have a feeling you'd love it.
- How did you feel about Bucky Barnes?
- What would you suggest to combat poverty in the US?
- How do you feel about America's foreign policy?
- Have you tried cronuts?
- Have you ever watched West Wing?
#i know that a lot of these are kind of obscure #but if the media got off his back for two minutes these are absolutely the questions I would ask #Captain America
22,842 notes
ohharryp
"I can't believe vaccines aren't compulsory for children. I didn't crash a plane in the arctic for this."
- Steve Rogers at some point, probably
#That interview killed me #Steve Rogers #Captain America
45,601 notes
iron-lass
highlights of cap's interview with the national press:
- when asked about things he'd like to change, he said: "Well, I'd like to start with the existing racist and sexist practices in the workplace and education systems."
- (talking about captain america) "unfortunately, I think that the Captain America name has escalated beyond anything that I could control, so that it's left this figure who represents everything that America stands for, and now kind of embodies corporations and the upper classes.
- Is there something wrong with that? Well, yes. The majority of American citizens at this time aren't upper class, and aren't all this kind of white male template. I think that it's really important to accept all Americas, particularly people in underprivileged positions in society."
- (his concerns) "Basic things that have been invented or improved on since I went under... particularly in the medical field, like vaccines. Which people don't use, or choose not to give to their children, which I have a big issue with. I had polio and arthritis and pneumonia and almost caught Hep B. once. Why wouldn't you protect your children from illness if you had the chance?"
- (about maintaining his image) "Yeah f*ck that. Whoops, I forgot Captain America wasn't supposed to swear."
- (bucky barnes) "Bucky Barnes was my best friend, and I'm not going to address any of the rumors surrounding us, or any of the other Howling Commandos. I know that's going to lead to speculation, but honestly some things are private. I think that it's interesting that in this society there doesn't seem to be any sense of privacy."
- (his films) "Yes, a friend of mine recently showed them to me. I watched them all at once, and I've gotta say, some of them were horrendous. Just plain insulting, a lot of the time, to me and everyone else in it. I really wish the directors had at least researched what they were making films about. But they got me to laugh, which I guess is the most important thing."
- (adjusting) "Honestly, I'm really okay. I've got a lot of people helping me, who have really been working me through adjusting and figuring out what I'm doing. I have them to thank."
- (thoughts about the howlies tv show) "I hope it's better than the Ben Affleck movie."
#what a self aware muffin #captain america #national press #steve rogers #bucky barnes
63,452 notes
Steve Rogers @captainsrogers
The worst thing about the Cap films is that I think Bucky Barnes would have genuinely loved all of them.
50.9k retweets 47k likes