Kiss Kiss
"What the hell. No. No, no, no, no! Stop! Ugh. Damn it!"
Hiro tossed the video game controller to the floor, folding his arms with a huff. "Stupid fuckin' game."
Seated on the opposite end of the couch, Tadashi looked up from the science textbook that was resting on his lap. "Language."
Hiro rolled his eyes. "Jeez. You sound like my mom," he said.
"Do you kiss her with that mouth?"
A scoff from the younger boy followed. "Are you sure you're only twenty-one? 'Cause right now you remind me of this geezer who lives across from me. His favorite hobby is sitting on his front porch and yelling at the neighborhood kids when they bike up and down the street."
"I'm just saying, maybe not curse so much. There's over a million words in the English language. I'm sure you can find different ones to use. Those are so vulgar."
Hiro shot his boyfriend a devilish smirk. "You're right, I probably could. But they're not nearly as efficient in getting my point across than a few choice four letter words, you know?"
Tadashi was not amused. "Well, I think we should make up a rule. For when you swear."
"A rule? Like what?"
"Well, I suppose you're too old for me to wash your mouth out with soap. Or put pepper on your tongue."
Hiro chuckled. His mom had tried both tactics when he was younger. It never worked.
"Got it," Tadashi said after a moment of pondering. "Every time you swear, you have to kiss me."
"Don't I already do that?"
"This is just a little peck." Tadashi pursed his lips and made a light smacking noise to illustrate his point.
Hiro made a face. Of course Tadashi would choose that. At his core, he was a hopeless romantic. Hiro, on the other hand, wasn't. He didn't care much for that sappy, lovey-dovey crap that Tadashi adored. He didn't understand the appeal of giving flowers on Valentine's Day. Or the sentiment of a handwritten note or candlelit dinner. He was more straightforward; blunt. If he loved someone, he preferred tell them outright. No frills.
"Fine," Hiro said. "I'll play along. But it won't last. You'll probably get tired of kissing me after a while. I was a sailor in a previous life."
"I could never. Actually, we should start. You owe me a kiss from that mini tantrum earlier. Over a silly game."
"Hey, I paid sixty dollars for that shit. The least it could do is work."
Tadashi gave a little squeak of surprise. "Now it's two kisses."
He put his book to the side and weaseled his way over to where Hiro was pressed against the armrest of the sofa. Puckering up, he closed his eyes and waited.
With an amused snort, Hiro obliged. He leaned forward and placed two successive kisses on his lips. "You really are a nerd," he said as Tadashi opened his eyes. "A huge, mushy nerd."
"I am," Tadashi agreed with a smile. "But that's why you love me."
By the end of the week, Tadashi had received forty-seven kisses. He kept a running tally in a notebook. It was unbelievable how fast the pages filled up. Hiro swore for everything. When he was happy, angry, annoyed, bored. While Tadashi still didn't approve of the foul language, he did think it was kind of cute how flustered Hiro became whenever he had to kiss him. A curse would slip out and Hiro's cheeks flamed red. Sometimes, Hiro tried to get away with swearing by muttering under his breath. It was pointless. Tadashi had the hearing of a bat. Nothing got past him.
"Tadashi, hurry up! Everyone's waiting!"
"Coming, coming. Alright, go, go." Tadashi nudged Hiro outside and closed the door to his apartment behind them.
Six friends crammed themselves into a booth at the pizzeria downtown. They were taking advantage of the little free time that college offered, using it to catch up. With their busy schedules, quality conversation during school hours was non-existent. Right now, Fred was sharing the tale of how he fought to nab the first edition of some rare comic book at an auction. Everyone was listening with rapt attention. Well, Hiro, anyway.
"So, I'm sitting there, right? Paddle in hand. It's down to just me and this other dude. I swear, it's like a grudge match. The price is now up to three hundred grand." He paused for dramatic effect.
"And...?" Hiro asked. His foot tapped against the floor.
"So I challenge him. Not with my fists, though. With my mind." Fred pointed to his temple. "I look at him, and you can practically hear me say, 'Come on, bro. Give it up. I got this in the bag.'"
"Well, what happened?" Hiro was ready to burst with anticipation.
"He folded. I got it."
Hiro slapped his hand down on the lacquered tabletop. "Get the fuck out of here."
"True story," Fred confirmed with a satisfied grin. "I'll bring it by on Monday to show you. It's perfect."
Tadashi cleared his throat. "Um, Hiro..."
"What?"
The older boy's voice dropped to a whisper. "You just swore... You know... rules..."
"Right now?" Hiro's tone matched the other's. "Can't it wait?"
"Uh... what's happening?" Wasabi asked, gaze flitting between the boys.
"No secrets," Fred joked.
"Nope, not a secret. Hiro and I made a rule: every time he curses, he has to kiss me," Tadashi explained.
Honey giggled behind her hand. "That's so cute."
"No, it's not," Hiro said. The tips of his ears were bright crimson.
"Come on, Takachiho," GoGo said. "Woman up and do it."
"Ugh." Hiro glared at the young biker before looking at Tadashi and following through on his agreement. He didn't even notice a certain photo-happy blonde pull out her cell.
Click!
"Honey!"
"Sorry, I couldn't help it! You two are so adorable."
Hiro groaned and hid his face in his hands. "You better not show that to anyone."
Tadashi chuckled and added another mark to his notebook.
Forty-eight.