Dear Robin Buckley,
You are hereby invited to the wedding of
Nancy Wheeler
and
Jonathan Byers
Robin turned the card to see the information written on the back. The date, far away in July, the time for the church service, the reception. Robin had never pegged Nancy for a summer wedding type. Well, she just hadn’t pegged Nancy for a wedding type. She leaned back, rereading the card and then throwing it on the coffee table. The card flew through the air before missing the table by an inch. She groaned, not even bothering to pick it up.
The thing was, the true problem of it all, Robin Buckley was madly in love with Nancy Wheeler. It all started with a small spark that grew into a blossoming feeling during spring break of her senior year of High School. Apparently some forced proximity with the prettiest and smartest girl of Hawkins High was enough to break down Robin’s all too high walls. When Nancy moved away for college Robin seized the opportunity to extend the distance to the emotional realm. Calls and letters became few and far between but the emotions that had cultivated didn’t lessen in the process. Eventually they stopped talking entirely, both of them moving on with their lives to the best of their abilities. Robin left college with a degree in linguistics and a pocket full of ambitions. When money became an issue she moved into Steve’s two bedroom apartment in Indianapolis and she never spoke of Nancy Wheeler again.
Until now. Until the invite had landed on her doorstep, Steve’s below it. But Steve wasn’t home yet, being stuck at his job in the local record store. Robin had gotten him the job and used his employment for discounts and free records religiously. It was how they ended up owning a collection of Blondie, Fleetwood Mac and Nena records. Steve did have his own pile of ABBA records that he played far too often.
She didn’t move from her spot on the couch until she heard the key twist in the lock. At the soft click she shot up, trying to act preoccupied.
“Robin? I’m home!” Steve shouted into his apartment.
“You know you don’t have to shout for me to hear you.” Robin replied. She had picked up the first thing within reach, which ended up being a copy of HOOP magazine.
“Getting into sports?” Steve laughed, dropping his bags next to the couch.
She dropped the magazine and groaned.
“Okay, what’s up with you? Is this another Sandra situation?”
The Sandra Situation had happened a year prior. Steve had dragged Robin to a gay bar in downtown Indianapolis because she had been single for, well, all her life. At said gay bar she ran into a beautiful redhead named Sandra. Sandra had been kind and funny and laughed at all of Robin’s poor jokes. They had danced until sunrise, even though Robin had complained she couldn’t dance. And then they parted ways after a passionate goodbye kiss, never to see each other again. At least, that had been the plan. But three days later Sandra had shown up to Robin’s work. It had been shocking to say the least but she assumed it was a coincidence, or faith, and she went with it. They had coffee together and parted ways again, this time without a goodbye kiss. That was meant to really be the end of it. Despite her own resolutions Robin wasn’t ready to be someone’s ever after yet. So when Sandra showed up at Robin’s doorstep that weekend, it truly started to feel weird. It took Sandra three weeks, a stern talk with Steve and a restraining order to leave Robin alone. Ever since Robin was afraid to talk to girls in bars.
“Worse.”
“What could be worse than another stalker? Did you kill someone? Should I get a shovel?”
Robin handed him the envelope with his name on it. “Haven’t yet but I still might.”
Steve frowned. “Dear Steve Harrington, you are hereby invited to…” He sighed, closing his eyes. “Shit, Rob. I’m sorry. We don’t have to go, you know? You haven’t spoken to Nancy in years and I’m her ex boyfriend so it’s already weird she invited me. We can just order pizza, throw our own party.”
But Robin was already shaking her head. “Things will be weird if we don’t go. Now, me and Nancy just lost touch but if I don’t show up to her goddamn wedding then it’ll be clear there is bad blood between us. And there shouldn’t be bad blood between us. We have to go.”
Steve nodded, reading over the card again. “The wedding is in Hawkins.”
“What?”
“The wedding is in Hawkins.” Steve repeated.
“Does that matter? Boston, LA or Hawkins, it’ll be torture either way.”
“I’m just shocked, is all. Nancy was not the type of person to waste away in small town Indiana.”
“She’s not the type to get married anywhere.” Robin continued the sentiment.
“Okay, contextual?”
Contextual was a game Robin came up with on a long bus drive from Indianapolis to New York City. Steve had dragged her there for a Broadway musical that she’d never admit to enjoying as much as she did. The game was easy, you saw something or heard something and made a story to put it in context. It started when Robin overheard two passengers fighting about who’d get the window seat. She had turned to Steve and mumbled that the guy probably cheated on his wife a few years ago. The wife in question must use it against him all the time and he just reached his breaking point where he started fighting back. Steve had frowned in confusion for only a second before playing along. That was three years ago.
“You can go first.” Robin replied, not really in the mood.
“Okay, after graduating Emerson Nancy traveled back to Hawkins to report on all the shit we went through and wrote a blog about it. The local newspaper published it as the ramblings of a mad woman but the New York Times saw it and after getting employed they forced her to stay there and report on it for another few years, promising her a promotion after she finished the whole story.” Steve made up, falling on the couch next to his best friend. “Your turn.”
“Nancy Wheeler is madly in love with Jonathan and discovered that it doesn’t matter where she lives with him as long as she gets her happy ever after. So they moved to live closer to his family.”
“Oh, c’mon Rob, you can come up with better than that. You’re not even trying.” Robin shrugged but made no effort to change her response. “Okay, my turn again. She made a deal with the devil to become the best reporter the world has ever seen but as we know, the devil lives in Hawkins, Indiana.”
“Jonathan knocked her up and her parents are forcing her to keep the baby.” Robin replied, not registering the words that escaped her mouth.
“Damn, Robin! You think Karen Wheeler would ever cause her daughter such harm?”
“No, but Ted Wheeler looks like he is anti abortion.”
Steve chuckled but nodded his head. “You’re probably right on that part. But Nancy would not be afraid to go against her father.”
“Nancy also wouldn’t make a deal with the devil but I’m not critiquing your ideas.”
A silence filled the room. It pushed heavy on her chest. She wanted to scream and shout to break the silence, to fill the room with something other than this nothingness. She’d fill it with her anguish instead. But she stayed quiet for as long as she could take.
“Do you think she’s happy?” Robin asked, staring at the card that still lay on the floor, the one with her name on it in cursive writing. She knew Nancy wrote it herself, recognized the handwriting.
“Honestly?” Steve turned towards his friend to see her nod. “I think Nancy Wheeler chained to a suburban life in Hawkins with a husband that wants stability is not someone capable of being happy. But maybe she’s changed since we last saw her. A lot of time has passed.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” And if Steve had had the guts to ask her what frightened her more, that Nancy wasn’t happy or that she’d changed, Robin wouldn’t have been able to answer.
Hawkins hadn’t changed much since the last time that Robin had visited her hometown. It had been over five years and yet the second they crossed the town borders Robin felt 18 again, lonely and lost. She pushed her hands in between her thighs to keep herself from fidgeting. Sometimes she forgot that Steve didn’t care, that he would allow her to flail her hands around without batting an eye. He knew that she was nervous. That she wasn’t ready to see Nancy again.
It was four days until the big day. Until Nancy Wheeler died and Nancy Byers was born. And Robin felt like she was suffocating at the mere thought of sitting in a church, staring at her High School crush marry her High School sweetheart. In one of those trashy movies Robin would stand up halfway through and confess her feelings in front of a bunch of close minded midwesterns. In that same trashy movie Nancy would stare at her with big eyes and run up to kiss her. But real life wasn’t like those movies. She’d just have to endure her dream being destroyed.
“You okay over there?” Steve’s voice overpowered her thoughts.
“Huh?” She shook her head to get rid of the remnants of that nightmare. “Yeah, just thinking.”
“I can still turn the car around. You can still change your mind.”
“Thanks, Steve. But I need to do this.”
Last night, they had arrived in their hotel, just out of town. The last B&B in Hawkins had closed its doors earlier that year. But today they were forced to meet up with everybody. Nancy had prepared a pre-wedding party so the wedding wouldn’t be ruined with too much small talk. Robin wondered what else she was supposed to do at the actual wedding but when Nancy told her to do something, she did it.
So, Steve drove up the Byers driveway. The house was already surrounded by cars. It wasn’t a shocker that they had been one of the late arrivals. What did surprise Robin was that as she looked at the front door her eyes caught her. Nancy Wheeler, anxiously shifting on her feet, next to the front door. Was she waiting for them?
Nancy’s eyes fell on the car and she started waving enthusiastically. “Right now is too late right? You can’t turn the car back anymore?” Robin turned to Steve who had just put the car in park.
“I could but then it’ll be obvious you don’t want to see Nancy.”
She knew he would. She knew that if she said the word he’d start the engine and drive them back to the highway. They’d be back home in an hour or two and they’d watch movies until Steve fell asleep on the couch. And things would be exactly as they were. But as she hesitated, Nancy walked up to the car. And with one knock on the window it was officially too late. There was no escaping it anymore.
“Hi, everything alright?” Nancy asked as Robin lowered her window.
“Yeah, yeah. Everything peachy.” Robin replied with a forced grin.
“Hi, Nancy.” Steve lifted his hand in greeting.
Nancy looked up, as if she hadn’t expected Steve to be in the car. “Hi, Steve. Are you guys coming in?”
“Yeah, can you just give us one more second?” Steve responded. Robin’s smile now more of a grimace.
“Sure.” Nancy didn’t seem to be okay with it but she still walked back to the house and stood in front of the front door, waiting.
“You’re sure you’re ready?” Steve asked and he knew she wasn’t but he also knew she’d go in anyway. So she nodded and opened her car door.
The party hadn’t been too bad. It had been easy enough to avoid Nancy who was drawn into conversations by everyone present. Robin had spent the majority of her time chatting with Erica until IT happened.
“Are you Robin Buckley?” A young girl with long blonde hair asked. Robin didn’t recognize her.
“Yes?” She couldn’t help the uncertainty that creeped into her voice.
“I’m Holly. Holly Wheeler. Nancy’s sister.” The girl explained, holding out her hand.
“Oh wow, you were so tiny last time I saw you.” And that was the only time the two had ever seen each other, the day Nancy left for college. Robin had been there to say goodbye and Holly had been silently waiting to hug her sister.
“Yeah, it’s been a while for sure.” Holly laughed. “Can I talk to you about something?”
“Sure.” But Robin noticed the way Holly looked around to make sure no one saw what she was doing and it honestly frightened her.
“Maybe we should go outside.”
So, they did. They walked into the Byers’ backyard. Robin slightly trailing behind the youngest Wheeler. When Holly decided they had wandered far enough she turned back toward Robin. “It’s been one hell of a ride trying to find you.”
“What?”
“Well, first I thought Robin must be a guy so I went through Nancy’s college friends and when that didn’t get me anywhere I tried to find her yearbook but she must have taken it with her. I’m not proud of this but I had to ask Mike for help. When I asked him to see his freshman yearbook he refused, loudly. I ended up asking him if he knew a guy named Robin and he was so confused. He explained to me that Robin wasn’t a guy so the search continued and well, here we are.”
“I’m confused. Why do you need me?”
“Because Nancy is making a huge mistake and you are the only person that can stop her.” Holly exclaimed.
“What are you talking about?”
“She doesn’t want to get married. Look, I like Jonathan. He’s… kind. But he’s not the one for Nance. She needs someone more daring, someone brave.”
“Someone like me?” And the uncertainty really took over now. There was no way Nancy wanted her, let alone needed her.
“I think so.” Holly admitted. “I’m not sure. But I found this letter in her room and it indicates something.”
“Holly, I love your optimism but I don’t believe I’m Nancy’s best option.”
“Are you?”
“What?”
“Are you an option? For Nancy?”
Robin stroked the crease out of her own forehead, sighing. “Yes.”
“Does she know?”
“Holly, she’s getting married in four days.”
“That is plenty of time to change your mind.”
“Never say that if you are ever engaged.” Robin joked.
“Look, I know my sister and she doesn’t want the rest of her life here married to the first man that was kind to her and spewing out babies that she can barely take care of. I like Jonathan, I’ll repeat it. But last week I heard him talk about being ready to become a dad and when he says stuff like that Nancy’s face scrunches up in that way that indicates she’s not happy. She didn’t even want to say yes to his proposal but he proposed at family dinner and mom was so happy and dad grunted significantly less than he usually does. She’s ruining her life because she doesn’t see another way. Robin, you could be her other way.”
“How do I look?” Robin exited the bathroom of their shared hotel room, buttoning the sleeves of her dress shirt. She and Steve had gone suit shopping a few weeks prior after Robin had gotten drunk and cried about not wanting to wear a dress.
“You look great, what about me?” Steve turned around in his own black and white suit. It was a contrast to Robin’s striped gray and black suit with a dark dress shirt. She felt like she was going to a funeral so she dressed as such.
“Dashing as always. The girls will be swooning over you, Harrington.”
“Good, we should head out if we don’t want to be late.” Steve was already grabbing his car keys.
Maybe she should have listened to what Holly had told her. Maybe she should have visited Nancy when she had the chance. But she couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
They were bombarded by people when they arrived at the church. “Robin, Robin, we need you.” Karen Wheeler shouted at her, rushing over.
“What’s wrong?” Robin asked, one leg still in the car.
“Nancy is having a panic attack. One of the bridesmaids got sick last night, the cake is already being delivered, which is a whole other problem, the church organ broke so we need to find a pianist and Nancy lost her veil.” Karen rambled, pulling Robin into one of the backrooms of the church.
“I can play some piano. The bridal tune is kinda easy so I could make it work.”
“That’s very kind but if you can convince my daughter to not run away first, that would be much better.” Karen knocked on the door and opened it before waiting for a reply.
Holly stood in the middle of the room, trying to calm down her sister. Nancy herself paced in front of the window, her face beet red.
“Nancy?” Robin asked as Karen pushed her further into the room.
“Robin.” Nancy sighed, relief evident in her voice. “I can’t do it.”
Holly used the opportunity to push her mother out of the room before closing the door behind herself, leaving the two girls alone.
“What can’t you do?” Robin took a seat in the corner of the room.
“I can’t walk out there and get married. I know I should but I’m not strong enough to sit through today without crying.”
“Okay, so you don’t want to marry Jonathan? Or are you just scared? Because I heard a lot of people are scared on their wedding day. It’s perfectly normal.”
“I don’t know.”
Robin nodded her head, trying to collect her thoughts, form sentences that weren’t a jumble of unimportant facts. “Nancy, you are the strongest person I know. You are kind and funny and so brave. You walked into hell and shot the devil without blinking. You’ve saved people’s lives. You’ve saved the world. Walking out there, facing your family and marrying the man you love, it’s nothing compared to what you’ve already achieved. But if you really don’t want to, I’ll help you escape through the back door. No one needs to know where you are. We’ll go on the run and keep moving so they never find us. I am up to 6 languages so we can visit Europe and South America and Russia. I’m not sure why we’d want to go to Russia but we could. And you’ll never have to think of Hawkins again.”
Nancy giggled, wiping a tear from her cheek. “You’d do that for me?”
“Oh, hell yes. It’s always been my dream to travel the world. And you’d be great company.”
“Why did we lose touch?” Nancy sat down next to Robin.
“The distance.”
“That’s not it.” Nancy laughed. “God, I’ve been so stupid.”
“What do you mean?”
“I shouldn’t tell you this on my freaking wedding day but if I don’t tell you now I never will. And what do I have to lose, right?” She took a deep breath. “I’m in love with you, Robin. I have been for a while and I thought that by creating this distance between us it would go away but deep down I’ve just been hoping and praying that you’d burst back into my life and steal me away from my misery. It’s stupid, I’m stupid. And I know you’re not into me and I’m supposed to marry Jonathan but… I guess I just needed you to know before I walk down that aisle. Okay, I think I’m ready now. Can you ask Holly to come help me with my makeup? I’ve made a mess of my face.”
Robin got up, she wanted to say something, anything, but she couldn’t find any words. So, she walked out of the room and got Holly.
The melody came easy. The bridal march was easy to play. Even if it sounded more like a funeral march when Robin played it. It was good enough. Nancy Wheeler was escorted by her father down the aisle. Mike sat in the front row, not staring at his sister walking towards them but also not looking at Jonathan who beamed at his fiancee. Nancy was outside of Robin’s view but she did see Holly look her way with a sad smile. And then Nancy reached Jonathan and silence filled the room. Robin got up and took her seat next to Steve, who put his arm over her shoulders and pulled her into a side hug. The priest started talking and everything faded away. Everything but Nancy’s schooled expression.
“Wait.” Someone shouted and all eyes turned to Robin. “Shit, did I say that?” Robin whispered to Steve who nodded with a shocked expression on his face.
“Robin?” Nancy asked, trying to force her to sit back down.
“No, wait. I have something to say. I need to say it before the vows and everything. Sorry, Jonathan.” She shuffled towards the aisle. For the first time in her life she needed to be the center of attention. Even though she wasn’t entirely sure where she was going with this.
“This is a beautiful service, for sure. Misses Wheeler, you’ve done an incredible job and I’m so sorry for ruining this. But the thing is that earlier-” She saw the fear on Nancy’s face. “Earlier everything was going wrong. The cake was being delivered early, one of the bridesmaids was sick, the church organ broke. It was a mess. And at some point that can’t just be coincidence. It has to be faith.”
She took a breath. For the first time she looked at the faces of the people seated around her. Steve’s worried expression, Karen Wheeler on the brink of bursting into tears, Holly smiling at her.
“So maybe we should look at the facts. And the facts are that Nancy and Jonathan don’t belong together.” Gasps filled the room and for the first time Jonathan seemed ready to intervene. “Wait, before you have security escort me out, please just listen.” She held up her hands.
“Robin, please just sit down.” Jonathan pointed to the empty chair.
“Nancy doesn’t want a white picket fence. She doesn’t want to live in a two story house in suburban Indiana with two kids and a husband who has more freedom than she does. She won’t be happy with the life she’s choosing right now and she needs this last opportunity to change her mind. And you, Jonathan, you don’t want what she wants. You don’t want to travel the world without the stability of a paycheck. You don’t want to wander and search. You don’t want to fight her on everything. I know I am ruining this day but the two of you are ruining your lives.”
“Leave.” Jonathan whispered, this time he pointed at the church doors.
When Robin refused, two men pulled her arms. But even as they hurt her, her eyes remained focused on Nancy. Nancy who turned back to her soon-to-be husband. Nancy who wasn’t taking her life line. The service was going to continue and in a few minutes Nancy Wheeler would be a married woman.
But Robin saw the expression on her face.
Sometimes you have to pull all the stops to achieve what you want. Sometimes you need to risk everything to be rewarded. Sometimes you need to believe that stupid romance movies could become reality. Sometimes you had to come out to every person you grew up with in a church in Indiana and pray to a God you don’t believe in that they won’t crucify you.
“Nancy Wheeler!” Robin yelled. Nancy turned her head, a pained expression on her face. “I’m in love with you!”
And then she was pushed to the curb, the church doors slammed in her face. It only took a minute for the doors to open. Robin’s eyes shot up, hoping for a certain dark haired woman to exit but it was only Steve. He sat down next to her.
“You do have a way for the dramatics.” He smiled. “And you do procrastinate until the very last minute. But that was a good speech. And you’re really brave. I’m proud of you, Rob. For standing up for what you believe in and for admitting to everybody in Hawkins how you felt.”
“But I was too late.”
“I’m sorry.” His smile turned sour. “How about I drive us back to the hotel, we get out of these uncomfortable suits and we order a shit ton of room service?”
“That sounds like a plan.”
She almost felt better, cuddling up to Steve with french fries and mozzarella sticks covering the bed. Sometimes life just sucked. And Robin was okay with that. She’d been through worse. Steve wouldn’t stop reminding her of that fact.
“Contextual?” Robin asked.
“About what?”
“This.”
“Okay, you go first.”
“The woman ruined her life by admitting her feelings to the girl she loved in the middle of her wedding ceremony and now she should pack her bags and move to Uruguay. And the guy is her best friend who is trying his best to cheer her up.” Robin spoke with a strain in her voice.
“My turn?” Steve responded. Robin nodded. “The woman is the bravest soul Hawkins has ever seen. She fought for her love and for her faith and for the happiness of the girl she loves. And the guy, he is her best friend. He’ll hold her hand and move to Uruguay with her if she wants to. He’ll stand by her side and he’ll always, always, have her back.”
“She’s lucky to have such a good best friend.” She didn’t want to see the sad smile he was offering her. She grabbed a mozzarella stick and took a bite. “You know she admitted she was in love with me right before walking down the aisle.”
“Wait, what?”
But before Robin could go into detail there was a knock on the door. She untangled herself from Steve and got up.
“You don’t want me to go?” He asked as she reached for the doorknob.
“I can still open a door, Steve.” She said, looking over her shoulder at him, before she turned and came face to face with Nancy Wheeler, still in her wedding dress.
“I didn’t do it.” Nancy greeted.
“What?”
“I didn’t marry him. It was a battlefield after you left but I didn’t marry him. I couldn’t.”
Robin looked at Steve who motioned his hands to ‘go for it’. “Because of me?” Her voice was barely a whisper, the words escaping in one single breath.
“Yes, Robin, because of you. I told you that I wanted you to come save me, I needed you to be my knight in shining armor, and there you were. I got everything I wanted presented to me on a silver platter, I had to take it.” Nancy’s eyes seemed to lower to Robin’s lips.
“Oh.” Robin replied.
“Goddammit, you two are hopeless. Just kiss each other.” Steve yelled, throwing a handful of fries at them.
“Damn, Steve. Shut up.”
Before she even finished her sentence Nancy’s lips attacked hers. It was awkward and unexpected. Robin’s lips moved slightly too slow. Their teeth clicked together. But Nancy was smiling as she pushed her body closer to Robin’s. It felt magical.
“I am going to assume I’m not invited to family dinner?” Robin joked after they parted.
“You’d be surprised.” Nancy’s arms snaked around Robin’s waist. “Holly quite likes you.” She leaned back in.
“Should I leave?” Steve asked from behind them.
The room felt just a tad bit too crowded. It probably hadn’t been the best option to host game night in Nancy’s brand new apartment. She had been lucky enough to find an apartment two floors above Robin and Steve; the rent was low and Robin priced herself lucky that she was so close to the woman she loved. But the apartment was significantly smaller. And therefore not the best option for large conventions such as this one.
“No, no, no. Runner-ups is not an actual word.” Nancy protested as Steve put the scrabble tiles on the bord.
“How is it not a word?” Steve asked.
“I think Nancy is right though. It’s not a word.” Robin confirmed.
“The plural of runner-up is runners-up.” Holly read out of the dictionary they were forced to keep next to the game for situations like this one.
“Why exactly is Steve here though?” Mike walked into the tiny living room with two glasses of soda. “I mean I get why we’d invite Robin but Steve isn’t part of the family.”
Robin gasped dramatically, putting a hand over her heart.
“It’s called being polite, Mike.” Holly replied, grabbing one of the glasses out of his hands. At the same time Nancy muttered softly: “Sometimes I ask myself the same thing?”
“Steve is like my brother at this point. I can’t not have him at family game night.” Robin placed her hand on the top of Steve’s head.
“I thought you said you invited me so you wouldn’t be the one losing all night long.” Steve chimed in.
“That also.” She admitted instantly.
“Well, I think it’s cute you’ve stayed so close after high school.” Karen Wheeler spoke while putting down a platter of snacks next to the game.
“Thank you, Misses Wheeler.” Robin smiled brightly at the older woman.
“Oh, please, call me Karen.”
“I get to call her Karen.” Robin whispered as she dropped her head on Nancy’s shoulder.
As the game picked up again Nancy rubbed Robin’s lower back and Robin felt a new swarm of butterflies erupt in her stomach. Finally, after years and years of feeling alone, she had what she had always dreamed of. The hottest girl of Hawkins High didn’t just look her way but had also allowed her into her heart. She had the love of her life holding her, her platonic soulmate sitting next to her and a half broken family that accepted them for who they were. Sometimes being brave was worth it.