"I licked it."
Steve hates sleeping.
He just hates it.
He can't lay down in his bed without thinking of the cold, without thinking of sleeping and never waking up...
Normally, he'd go for a walk. Or go to the gym in the tower, or something. He used to check on Bucky, to make sure he was still breathing-until Buck locked his door and put an end to that.
But Bucky isn't even in his room tonight. He must be with the kids.
It seems like such a foreign thought. Kids.
Kids had always been a secret want of his. They were something he knew he'd never have. Buck used to lecture and rant and order him. He'd tell Steve that he'd find a nice dame to marry and have a family with. But it wasn't even like that was an option. Steve didn't even have kids back then. They were something he'd wanted. Bucky was there. He was real. And Steve needed him. It wasn't a matter of choosing.
That had been then, anyway.
As Steve shuffles past the room the boys were staying in, he remembers the tightness in his chest from earlier. When Bucky took the boys into the bathroom and helped them get set up. When he set up the bedroom for them. When he coaxed them inside, tucking the blanket under their chins. It'd almost felt there was a posibility-
No. He couldn't take advantage of Buck like that.
Somehow, he finds himself in the kitchen, pausing when he sees that the fridge is already open. Maybe he shouldn't have left his sheild so far away...
One of the kids-the little one-freezes. There are several pieces of bread lying on the counter in front of him, and a butter knife in his hand. Steve squints. Peanut butter and jelly? No, that wasn't right. It was Nutella out on the counter, not peanut butter.
Before Steve can say anything, the kid starts to tremble.
"Hey," Steve starts, holding his hands up as he takes a step forward. "It's alright. I came for a midnight snack, too."
The kids eyes are wide, almost like Bucky's. He swallows. "Tadashi got hungry."
Tadashi. That must be the older one.
Steve nods, hands still up in the air. "Is he up? Feeling okay?"
The kid is nodding, scurrying toward the counter.
Steve flicks on the light. "Jelly and Nutella, huh?"
The hazelnut spread is kept in stock specifically for Clint, whenever he's in town. They learned from the last experience, where he basically moped around the tower for two weeks instead of buying a jar for himself.
The kid nods again.
Steve turns toward the counter, doing anything that'll make this less awkward. "I think I'd like a sandwich, too."
The kid blanches, but doesn't move. It's like he's frozen.
"D'ya mind if I borrow that?" Steve asks, gesturing toward the butter knife in the kid's hand.
The kid flashes a glare. "I licked it."
Steve blinks.
The kid blinks.
And they both start to laugh.
"You're a smart kid, aren't you?" Steve says, mostly to himself, as he goes about looking for another knife.
"Very," the kid muses beside him. Despite his more relaxed tone, his hands are still shaking as he presses his sandwiches together.
Steve feels his heart drop to his stomach.
"What's your name?"
The kid hesitates, turning to put the jelly back in the fridge. "Hiro."
Steve turns back toward his own sandwich. "Well, Hiro, I'm Steve. It's nice to meet you, buddy."
Silence.
When he glances back around, Hiro is gone.