Chapter 5
"Clearly this isn't going to work." Rebecca said, picking up the locket off the ground that was now dented, burnt, and hot to the touch. The three of them, Ron still resting, had spent the morning casting spells of every conceivable type to try and destroy the horcrux. The result was not success, but a rageful Potter.
"Clearly!" Harry shouted as he stomped off.
Rebecca tossed the locket from one hand to the other and found that the metal was warm too. With a heavy sigh, she lifted the golden chain over her head and clasped it behind her head. The weight of the locket on her chest left a sick weight in her stomach too.
"Is that smart?" Hermione asked.
"We have to keep it safe." Rebecca furrowed her brow. "At least until we learn how to destroy it."
"Seems strange." Ron looked up at Rebecca from where he had watched the others trials with a foggy look behind his eyes. His arm had yet to heal past the point of pain management. "Dumbledore sends you off to destroy these horcruxes but not how to destroy them. Doesn't it bother you?"
Rebecca's shrug was the only answer she offered on her way back to the stump that acted as her seat. Later, just as her eyes had shut to rest a while, the radio beside Ron crackled to life. The sound breaking the silence that had laid over their camp for hours startled them, but the familiarity of the voices pouring out put them at ease.
"This here's Potterwatch, you've got me, River."
Rebecca leaned closer to the radio at the sound of Lee's voice, wondering if she dared hope to hear Fred as a part of whatever this was.
"You've got me, Jupiter."
Ron rolled his eyes at George's choice of name.
"And then there's me..." Fred's voice caught Rebecca's breath in her throat. "Rapier. First, a moment of silence for the deaths of this..."
Rebecca remembered criticising Fudge's daily announcements in fifth year, how disgusted she had been at the lack of an attractive radio name, how 'Rapier' had been her example. She didn't think that Fred had remembered that.
The programme went on and, far too quickly, it was nearing an end. The three announcers had gone over the effect of the battles in the Muggle world with 'Royal,' or Kingsley. They had touched on Pals of Potter, with 'Romulus,' who was really Remus. For the last segment, Fred and George ran through 'News on Chief Death Eater.' This was to alert those in the regions where Voldemort's most recent movements had been reported; to warn the towns that should be extra vigilant in precautions.
"And that's Potterwatch for now. Keep safe out there, wherever you're listening from." Fred spoke their farewells, and Rebecca could feel him talking to just her and not anyone who was listening. "These are dark times, that's true..." Fred cleared his throat and Sirius laid his hand on his shoulder. "But no one's taking our sunshine away."
The radio cut out and the others scattered off towards other responsibilities while Rebecca stayed in front of it, frozen as she tried to keep Fred's voice in her ears longer. With how he had ended the broadcast, Rebecca knew for a fact that Fred had been talking to her.
"Eat." Hermione was the one to approach Rebecca once the sun had set and dinner had nearly finished. Both boys insisted that Hermione go to Rebecca instead of them, especially as the air around Rebecca grew heavier and heavier with anger as time passed. "You have to."
"I don't technically have to." Rebecca snapped.
Hermione didn't say anything in response but didn't know where the heat of Rebecca's words had come from or why it was directed at her.
Rebecca couldn't bring herself to eat. All she could do was stare at the tin that had been put into her hand. Dark thoughts crossed her mind, darker than they had been all day. Ron had retreated into the tent after the broadcast had ended and Harry paced as he mulled over how to destroy something that seemed indestructible. Rebecca had brooded while she spun the ring on her finger, the ring Fred had married her with.
"You know the spell." A voice frighteningly similar to that which Voldemort used when reaching into her mind whispered into her. "You can make them hurt, hurt like you do." Rebecca jumped up to her feet and shook her head violently, one hand making its way to her temple. "You want to though, that's the hard part. You want them to-"
"Get out of my head!" Rebecca balled up her fists and hit the side of her head, spinning in a slow circle as if she would find Voldemort crouched beside her. All that moved were the birds inside of their sphere of safety flying off. "Get out!"
Harry rushed to Rebecca's side and reached for her shoulders, forced back a step as Rebecca swung at him.
"Don't! I-" Rebecca grit her teeth and kept one hand on her head while the other launched out at Harry wildly.
"This-this isn't you, Rebecca! Let's take a-" Harry took another step back as she nearly connected her fist with his chin. "Calm down!"
"Don't tell me to calm down!" Rebecca shouted. She took her hand away from the throbbing in her head and jumped at Harry's middle, forcing them both to the ground in a clatter of flailing limbs. Harry flipped them over and pinned her hands above her head, only infuriating her further. "Let me go! Fucking fight me a-and I'll-"
Hermione had abandoned the firewood gathering at the first shout of the altercation, but only now that Rebecca had been incapacitated could she test her theory. She grabbed the locket and took it off over Rebecca's head. The effect was instant; Harry and Hermione could see the fire go out from behind her eyes. Tears welled and Harry released her wrists.
Rebecca climbed to her feet and hurried away without a word.
"We'll have to take it in turns, obviously." Hermione put the locket over her head. "Don't, Harry." She warned as he took a step towards the tent Rebecca had disappeared into. "She'll come to you."
Harry nodded and helped Hermione gather the fuel she had dropped. Once the fire had been sorted for the night, he climbed into his bunk and fell asleep to the sound of Ron flipping through channels in the chances of stumbling onto another Potterwatch.
Hermione, as Harry was used to her being, was right. Rebecca sat next to him at breakfast with no sign of who she had been the night before. "I'm sorry." Rebecca spoke softly, ashamed of how she had lost herself. "I didn't mean it, any of it."
"So you didn't really want to fight me?" Harry teased, pleading that it was the right thing to say. Something inside of him loosened, something he hadn't known had been taut, as Rebecca smiled at him.
"Yeah."
Harry put his arm around Rebecca's middle and pulled her closer. "It's alright, it's something the locket does. Hermione's already had to give it up." Harry shook his head. "By all means, let's have a locket that makes us evil. Not like we have enough going on."
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Ron needed days more of recovery; he spent his every waking second with the radio on, whether searching for a Potterwatch or just scrolling through the empty, static-filled stations. At first, it was no bother to anyone. Then, through a combination of the lack of information as no Potterwatch had happened in days and the locket, the static began to grate on Harry.
It felt like an eternity had passed since Ron had fallen asleep with the crackling radio tucked under his good arm, and that was an eternity too many for Harry. He crossed the tent and tried to ignore the weight of the locket against his chest. Either the radio got turned off while Ron dozed or an act of violence needed to be committed.
"...newly appointed headmaster of Hogwarts, Severus Snape..." Harry froze. Lifting the radio up off the bed had brought it into range of a Ministry segment of a Potterwatch announcement. "...students must conform or face punishments by the two Death Eaters now on the staff."
Harry tried to catch any other signal before calling to Rebecca, and he was grateful he had. The locket hadn't been around his neck long enough to wish grim thoughts onto his loved ones and he would have felt guilty if he had raised her hopes for naught.
Rebecca and Hermione were walking along the edge of their protections while the boys were in the tent, chatting softly.
"We need to get a move on." Rebecca sighed. "Do you think he'll be ready tomorrow?"
"I don't know." Hermione acknowledged their need to go. "But you're right, we need to get moving."
Rebecca looked up at the stars. "Do you remember during the astronomy exam when I had answered the Europa is covered in 'mice?'"
Hermione laughed and nodded. "Of course, how could I forget?"
"I'd gotten that answer from Harry."
"What am I going to do with you?"
Rebecca didn't have an answer, but another question. She kept her eyes up to the stars. "You don't have any ideas on how to destroy it?"
"You do know that I don't actually know everything, right?"
Rebecca shook her head. "That's a lie, you-" Her head shot to the side as the sound of a stick snapping echoed through the darkness between the trees. "You hear that?"
Hermione nodded and tightened the hold on her wand. As long as they stayed in the boundaries of their wards, they were invisible and couldn't be heard. But actually keeping others from entering was harder. The best they could do was cast charms that would deter anyone who got near.
Over the crest of the hill outside their shields, Fenrir and a trail of other Death Eaters walked along.
Hermione's hand grabbed Rebecca's wrist and held tightly, keeping her rooted in place. With Rebecca, there was no knowing exactly which direction her plans would go.
Fenrir lurched to a stop a couple of paces past them, just as Hermione started to think they might have gotten out of unscathed. The witch in his arms, the one who hadn't moved at all, let out a groan as he dropped her to the ground roughly. "What's that?" The werewolf, more canine than any Rebecca had ever read about--she having researched lycanthropy after learning that Rems was afflicted. "What's that smell?" Fenrir sniffed the air deeply and turned towards the invisible girls.
Rebecca and Hermione both forgot how to breathe as Fenrir turned back and stopped only once his face was inches from theirs. They could both see his nostrils flaring as he repeated himself.
"There's no bloody smell!" One of the Death Eaters answered angrily. Fenrir had already done this twice, once for a rabbit and once for a piss. "Can we keep on task!"
Fenrir glared at the Death Eater that spoke, so much smaller than he was. But, as Fenrir said nothing and picked the girl up, clearly of a higher rank. Hermione and Rebecca stayed frozen in place well after they had faded out of sight.
"Good to know the enchantments work?" Rebecca offered. Cursing the flash of thoughts leaning towards Fred, she had only been trying to ease the tension.
"He could smell us." Hermione did not laugh, nor smile at Rebecca's attempt. "I'll check on Ron in the morning. We need to go."
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Rebecca and Harry were finishing breakfast by the fire while Hermione talked to Ron inside the tent. After Harry snapped at her for breathing too loudly, she held her hand out for the locket.
"Thank you." Harry said softly as soon as he had it passed over.
Rebecca waved his words away and turned back at the last vestiges of their fire. The chill of fall was growing to cover more of every passing day. Soon, winter would be around them in full force.
Hermione stepped out of the tent with a frown that foretold poor news. "I don't think he's strong enough to apparate. Not yet."
"We'll have to go on foot then." Harry stood up and brushed his trousers off. "There's enough light left to get some headway."
Hermione dropped into the space previously occupied by Harry before Rebecca could stand up. "If you're not alright...any time...you can-"
"Why wouldn't I be?" Rebecca furrowed her brow, confused.
Hermione looked at her a moment, trying to decide if she was hiding something or oblivious. "Never mind then. Just know the offer stands, always."
Rebecca couldn't have guessed how correct Hermione's assumptions would have been. The sun had climbed steadily behind their backs as they walked on and on--Rebecca had decided that Hermione really did know everything.
Walking through the fields and trees, the crunching of leaves under her feet, the uncertainty about where they were heading...it was horribly reminiscent of William's abandonment.
And the locket wasn't helping.
Rebecca had thought that the headache that came with it had just been coincidental, a pang that would be inexplicable as every other one that had plagued her. But it had something to do with the entrance of the locket's whispers into her thoughts.
"You know, if you'd just kept your buckle on like a good girl, Janet would still be alive."
Rebecca closed her eyes tightly for a few seconds, letting her feet continue onwards. The darkness didn't lighten the ache that sharpened as the darkness rose up in her for another jab.
"But then you wouldn't have gotten exactly what you deserved, now would you? All of the work, the hunger, the-"
"No." Rebecca spoke, the first of them in hours. "It's not true, I-"
"I can wear it a while." Ron offered, reaching up for the clasp with his arm not wrapped against his chest in the sling Hermione had fashioned for him. While Rebecca had removed the wards of their campsite, Hermione had found a quiet moment with Harry and Ron each to warn them that the next stretch wasn't likely to be an easy one for her.
Rebecca, squirming to get out from underneath the horrid whispers, only ended up tangling the locket's chain in her hair. Ron tried his best to get it untangled without pulling, but wasn't able to with one hand. Harry reached over and undid it before hurrying ahead to get back to he and Hermione's conversation about the direction they should be aiming for.
That solved their problems for a bit, though Ron seemed to have started his turn with the locket angry. His mood lightened at half past two when the radio he had tucked into his sling crackled to life while the four were walking across a field.
"For the names of the missing--these are confirmed, but at least it's a short list today." George's voice cut out as he composed himself. It was always hard to make the reports when you knew someone on the list. "Jason and Alison Denbright. Bella, Jake, and Madge Farley. Dean Thomas."
Rebecca, without the locket wreaking its havoc on her, was able to grapple with the despair that tried to force itself over the mental walls she learnt to put up when the radio was on. "Poor Seamus." She managed, in case Ron wanted to talk.
Ron didn't, he was too busy glaring into the sun they were now walking into.
Rebecca had no idea there could be any other reason, certainly not something as trifling as Harry drinking from the water Hermione handed him.
Their walking continued, albeit slowly. They had to stop twice for Death Eaters flying in the sky above them. One of these pauses was spent in an abandoned building that might have once been a barn, the second in the mouth of a foul-smelling drainage ditch. By the time they found themselves walking in the bones of an old motorhome park, fatigue had long set-in but they walked on.
Miles past then, when they were stumbling more often than they were stepping, Hermione mentioned stopping for the day. Harry looked crestfallen at the idea of stopping at all, but he relented when he saw the pallor that coated Ron's face. It was worrying, and then Harry was consumed with guilt at the thought of having pushed him too far. Harry took the locket for his turn and took charge of setting the tent up, insisting that Ron not do anything beside watch the fire to make sure it didn't go out--which would have been very hard for it to do considering Hermione lit it by magic.
Rebecca walked towards the water that was nearby, far bigger than the Black Lake and easily the largest body of water she had ever seen. "Is this the ocean?" She asked as Hermione came up behind her.
Hermione laughed at that, a true honest laugh that brought one to Rebecca's face too. "No, not quite. The ocean is far bigger."
Rebecca nodded and looked out over it again. The dark, bobbing surface of the water under the darkness of post-sunset darkness left her feeling small and compacted.
"Besides, if it were the ocean..." Hermione could feel her friend being dragged into grey. "I'm sure those two would have tried transfiguring the other into a shark to 'see what it was like.'"
It was Rebecca's turn to laugh, and laugh she did. Harry meandered towards it once he had the tent sorted and took Hermione's place whilst she went back to check on Ron's bandages.
"They've got no bloody idea where to go, do they?" Ron asked as he kept his head turned away from his arm until the bandages had been reapplied. As long as he didn't look, he could pretend that it wasn't his.
Hermione charmed away the soiled wrap and looked over her shoulder at the Potter twins, now in the midst of a stone skipping lesson that Harry was poorly managing. She glanced back up at Ron and shook her head. "None of us do."
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"I know somewhere we can go." Rebecca said.
It had been two weeks of walking, two weeks without a single lead. Only arguments had come up as they boiled to rage quicker and quicker as their turns cycled through.
"Where?" Ron demanded. "And why wouldn't you have said something sooner?!"
Rebecca's eyes flickered to the locket around his neck. "Do you want to pass that on?"
Ron rolled his eyes and tore it off, throwing it on the ground. "No, what I want is to know what we're doing!"
Hermione picked up the locket and slipped it on without paying Ron's outburst any attention. "Where could we go?"
"Caterham." The word left Rebecca's mouth like any other, but it left a taste on her tongue.
"Why there?" Harry asked.
"One of the women from the Ministry--the Muggleborns I got to the lifts--she said we can find refuge in Caterham in the house with four candles in its windows."
"And why wait until now?" Harry asked, as calmly as he had before. Rebecca would have had a reason for holding onto this, he knew that.
Rebecca looked down at the ground in front of her, finding the leaves on the ground nearly swimming as she forced herself to speak. "It's where I was from. Before, I mean."
"Then we don't go." Ron shrunk under the horror of how he had spoken before. The locket wrapped its claws around his brain and sank its poison in deeply, loudly.
"Unless you want to resort to cannibalism, it's what we've got." Rebecca stood up from their fire and went to her bedroll where she stayed for the rest of the night.
"Love?"
Rebecca jolted awake and couldn't help but search for Fred's voice. No one was in the tent but her, as she should have known it would have been. Her dreams were filled with him and this wasn't the first time that they had bled into the disorientation of waking up. The dreams revolved around the mundane with Fred, the washing up after dinner where every handoff for him to dry required a peck on her cheek, down to the very last spoon. Rebecca missed waking up in his arms, to have the opportunity to study him in the few minutes before he woke too.
Rebecca missed Fred entirely and she couldn't do anything about it. She sat up and prepared herself for the day before leaving the tent, trying to leave behind her heartache all the while.
Hermione and Harry were studying a map, both tracing out different lines. "We need to go east, that'll get us there quicker."
"It'll be best to go south and then east, less towns passed." Hermione tapped the few that Harry's suggestion had them nearing.
Rebecca stood between them and watched as they both showed their offers once again; Harry and Hermione were looking to her to settle the decision. "Direct is best, I think." Rebecca traced her finger along Harry's route more. "We need supplies. Food, first aid."
"What makes you think this woman was serious?" Harry asked. "She might have just offered to offer."
"It wasn't like that." Rebecca took the piece of bread Hermione offered to her. All of it had been stale for days, but it was the last of what they had. "She'll help us." Rebecca bit into it and turned the map towards the north. "We're only a couple of hours away if we move quickly. Ron ready?"
Hermione looked across their nearly-packed camp to where Ron stood with his back to them. "Yeah, he's ready."
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"I never thought I'd come back here."
The others had left Rebecca to her silence in the hours that passed between their departure and their arrival into Caterham. (Caterham, while an actual English town, is not where this location is based off of. I just needed a UK-like name and this one caught my eye.)
"I didn't miss it."
Ron looked around and wasn't sure what to say. He had lived in the country his whole life. And, aside from the fact that sometimes it was horribly boring, at least he had never lived here. Bits of rubbish blew down the streets from the overflowing bins that seemed to stay at the street. Every house had one broken window at a minimum, more had crooked gates and almost all had discarded, rusting items in the front gardens. One house had a toilet sitting right in the middle of the grass.
Rebecca stopped at the junction that separated the outskirts of Caterham with the centre. "I have to stop somewhere first."
Harry hurried to her side, getting in between her and the path to the left she faced. "Are you sure? Just because Mrs Figg said-"
"We need something." Rebecca looked at him, but Harry could tell she didn't see him. Her focus was on the memories that resurfaced with every passing moment. She didn't say another word and turned away from the path towards town centre they had been on.
Hermione walked beside Ron, both of whom were behind Harry, and watched as Rebecca reverted into someone they had not seen in years. This Rebecca's steps changed to make them as quiet as possible, kept her shoulders tight, made no sound--no humming or tapping or anything.
In front of one of the more dilapidated buildings, Rebecca jerked to a stop. No lights were on, but it was early in the day and no life had been seen yet anywhere else either. Rebecca held her wand at her side as she stepped onto the walk to the house unsurely. She felt something drawing her in, something dark like the necklace.
The front door had had a chain on it when Rebecca still lived there, but the door itself was ajar when she reached for the knob and she heard the sound of it scraping against the wood. It didn't matter if William hadn't been there since Mrs Figg said, someone clearly had. In the house of Rebecca's darkest years, there was a layer of dirt and leaves from the outside with litter and evidence of someone having camped in the house at some point in the time it had been empty.
The kitchen was empty too, thought it always had been when people lived there anyway. Rebecca walked further inside, aware of the others behind her but only barely.
Harry motioned for Hermione and Ron to stay towards the front of the house before slipping into the dark hallway Rebecca disappeared down. There was only one door open, the very last one. Harry stood in the doorway of the room Rebecca had entered and now stood in the middle of.
"Yours?" Harry asked, knowing it was. "I didn't know you liked to read, not like this." There were books on every surface; piled on the floor, piled on the dresser, poking out from behind every nook and cranny.
"It was an escape, I guess." Rebecca's voice was flat, but reassuring for Harry to hear all the same. "I went through donation bins, charity shops that had them out front, boxes people put out for collection. Anything for new stories."
Rebecca looked away from the evidence of how deep her desperation had reached before William left her and went to the closet. Up on the shelf, the one which she had to clamber up piles to reach before she had left, she pulled out a wooden box. "This is all we need." Rebecca passed Harry and put the box in his hands, unable to carry the weight of the memories it unearthed.
Harry stayed a moment longer and looked over the room, the broken panes on the window, the blankets piled on the floor where not even a proper bed had been. His cupboard didn't seem so bad, not when this had been an option. He had lived in a house unwelcome and unliked, she had lived in a prison. "What else do you need?" Harry asked gently when he found her outside the kitchen Hermione and Ron were in.
"That's all that will be helpful." Rebecca looked around. "Everything else here...it's done."
"May I?" Harry held the box towards Hermione and Ron.
Rebecca nodded, but stayed near the doorway. "Just-"
Hermione paused her reaching for the box's lid.
"Don't ask. Not right now."
"Oh!" Ron gasped, leaning forward to get a better look. Inside the box was money--Muggle money, but money all the same. "You-"
"No." Harry interrupted. "Not here."
Hermione put the box into the bag on her hip and took Rebecca's side without a word on the revelation. "If you're done, we have four candles to find."
And find them, they did. The house was on the opposite side of the town centre, with grass in its yard and no toilets to be seen. Rebecca eased open the side gate and slipped into the back garden only to find toys strewn about.
Harry jerked his head towards the back door and let Rebecca do the honours. She raised her fist and knocked on the door four times, ringing a strange sense of symbolism across Harry's thoughts. Four of them, four candles, four knocks. It seemed fitting.
A woman threw open the door and dragged them in before closing the door and locking it tightly once again. "I knew you'd come, eventually." The woman grabbed Rebecca's hands and held them tightly, maternally. "And just in time. Lunch is done."
Just like that, the four of travellers were sat at the table with the woman and two wide-eyed children who stared at how they devoured every scrap of food put in front of them. Had it not been the first hot meal they had had in over a week, Rebecca might have been embarrassed, but there was no reason. The woman didn't judge and continued to spoon out servings until they slowed and eventually sat in content silence.
"Are they done?" The little girl whispered to her mum.
"Yes," Harry chuckled. "I'm sorry. It's been a-"
"No apology needed." The woman, having introduced herself as Annabelle while they were eating, laughed. "I'm glad to see it! Anything I can do to fuel the resistance."
"The resistance?" Ron echoed.
"That's what you lot are doing, isn't it? Resisting?" Annabelle shook her head. "For those of us who can't. Don't forget that." She turned and looked at her son. "Did you do as I asked, Jay?"
"Yes, mum." The boy held his hand out and took Hermione's. "I'll take them." He stopped when they were in the entry to a room with badgers painted on the walls and sleeping rolls laid out. "Mum says you need a nap."
"Oh, well..." Hermione looked to Rebecca. "I guess a quick rest won't put us too far behind."
"Too far behind?" Ron grumbled. "We don't know where we're bloody going."
"We would love to rest for a few hours." Rebecca smiled to the boy, the first that she had showed in days. "Thank you."
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"This is mental." Rebecca glanced at the pile being laid out for Hermione to put into her charmed bag. "Yo-you've-"
"I've done what I would want someone to do for my children." Annabelle laid out the last of the tinned food. "Nothing more, nothing less. It'll only go to waste here anyway."
Rebecca knew by bringing back up the subject, she was only bringing about the inevitable conversation quicker, but she had to offer something in return. "This then, if you insist we take it."
Harry nodded. "We insist as you do."
Annabelle took the pound notes hesitantly. "Remember what you did for us that day. Do you hear me?" Annabelle looked out the peephole of the front door before turning back to Rebecca. "Remember that you saved those lives because you could, not because you had to."
One by one as the four travellers exited the house they had found a night's worth of refuge in, they were hugged with the strength and comfort only a mother can give with similar words of encouragement.
Caterham was silent as they made their way back out of civilisation. The town wouldn't come to life until the mining began again. Hermione already had a route sketched that would take them back into the obscurity of the wilderness, leaving the west of England at their backs.
Rebecca had the locket on--it was well past her turn. The others had refused to give her one while they remained in the town that was such a facet of her past, afraid that the locket would be even more potent.
"You want to know about the money, don't you?" Rebecca was the first to speak as they entered the tree line.
Harry nodded, but Hermione gave him a look and answered for them all. "If you want to talk about it. Only then."
Rebecca scoffed. Who would want to talk about that? "I was seven the first time there was no food. Then it was the water. Then the heat." She wouldn't meet their eyes. "And even if there was food, it wasn't for me. Only him."
Ron stared at the ground disappearing underneath his feet. The idea of any child, let alone someone he had grown to love, having lived like that filled him with a despair the locket didn't need to cause.
"I-" Rebecca paused. "I did the least bad that I could. Even when I-"
"You don't need to tell us." Harry said. "We know that you have always done the least bad that you could."
Rebecca's breath caught in her chest. There was so much welling up inside of her, it pushed and pulled in her brain and left an ache behind her eyes like the locket was going to start whispering its horrors.
"Really." Harry put his arm around her and walked ahead of Ron and Hermione while speaking to Rebecca quietly.
"Where to now?" Ron asked Hermione, changing the subject to try and alleviate the darkness.
"This way." Hermione answered vaguely, unsure herself.
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<3