Trying to keep it cool
He was at the gym for hours.
It was 03:16 but that didn't stop him.
He was punching at the punching bag.
Well, I guess that it was supposed to be one.
It looked more like someone completely wasted put some homeless guy's clothes togheter and hung it up.
His already soaked T-shirt was now officially ruined.
It was torn at the edges and showed some parts of his shoulders and stomach.
His knuckels were bleeding heavily and his left wrist hurted a lot but he didn't stop.
It was all his fault.
All his fault that Tony was emotionally wounded and he needed to be punished for that.
Deep down he knew that it wasn't his fault he felt nothing but friendship for Tony but his whole childhood said diffrently.
''Clint'' a voice asked from behind him.
Cap.
He ignored Steve and kept on punching.
''Clint. Stop and listen to me''.
...............
Nothing.
He didn't respond.
He felt like he couldn't.
A strong, warm hand was placed on his shoulder.
A feeling flowed trough his body.
Not anger, not pain, It was the weirdest feeling ever.
It felt like a trigger was pulled.
Out of instinct he grasped the hand, pulled the body behind it over his shoulder and pinned Steve down.
''Don't touch me'' he hissed.
Steve didn't look scared, just really surprised.
''Clint, do you realize what you just did?'' he asked with shock on his face.
Clint sighed in frustration but kept Steve pinned down.
''Of course I did, I'm right he..'' suddenly it hit him.
He.. had..pulled....Steve, of all people, the strongest 'human' ever, over his shoulder like it was nothing.
He was pinning Steve down, right fucking now!
Holy shit!
He was absolutely, totally, completely fucked.
He gasped, let go of Steve and ran away from the gym as fast as he could, which was really fast.
He had no idea where he was going.
Until he was facing a certain, crying genius.
Tony was crying like the world just ended.
Clint felt horrible for being the cause of that.
''Tony, hey'' he just said and immediatly wanted to punch himself.
Tony looked horrible.
Crying really didn't suit him.
''Gosh Clint, I'm so sorry. I.. just.. sorry'' Tony cried softly.
Clint led him to the couch and they both sat down.
''It's okay. I'm not mad at you'' he said softly and placed a hand on Tony's shoulder.
The said man looked up at him with a disbelieving look on his face.
''That's a lie. Why are you here anyway?'' Tony said a bit harsher then he ment to.
''I..ask Cap as soon as I'm gone, Okay? something happend and I didn't actually know what to do so I went to you. To apologise''
''Clint, you don't need to aplogise. I'm so stupid, This is my fault. Everything. Please don't blame yourself''
He shook his head.
''Listen carefully. I'm gone for half a year, maybe less if I'm lucky, and I can maybe call once every two weeks.
You're not going with me and we will not have much contact.
I'm going to blame myself a lot and you're going to get over me and forget you ever had feeling for me.
I care about you a lot but love is too much.
Everyone I ever loved is dead or evil and while I trust you enough to protect yourself I can't have you handle with my problems.
Please promise me this? I'm begging you this as a friend who doesn't want to lose his best friend.''
Tony was quiet for a while but then shakingly nodded.
''I'll try. For you''
Clint smiled softly.
''I know and you need to know that you are the most wonderful man I have ever met. Which is saying a lot coming from me''
Tony actually managed to give a small smile.
''Don't die''.
He chuckled. ''Don't worry about that. In Beacon Hills dying is as far away from reality as it could be.
No kidding. They should have a sign that says 'Warning, Deadly boring''
Tony wiped away his tears and laughed a little. ''I'm trying to be serious here''
''So am I. Deadly''
They sat there for a while until Clint decided that he needed to get some sleep.
''I'm going to take a nap. Uhh..See you before I go?''
Both were a bit awkward.
Tony nodded. ''Yeah,yeah. Sure. I'll be there''
Clint stood up and stretched his arms.
''Bye Tony''
''Bye Merida''
''Asshole''
''Bitch''
He laughed and felt reliefd that they still were friends.
At 04:07 he was lying in bed.
He was tired but somehow couldn't fall asleep.
Something was tugging at the edge of his mind.
Then it hit him.
What he had done with Steve.
What should have been impossible.
He sighed heavily.
''Jarvis, turn up the lights to 40%''
''Of course Clint'' the AI said and slowly the lights turned on.
He mutterd a thanks and got out of bed.
He went to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face.
He looked at himself in the mirror.
''I'm fucked'' he said to himself.
''I believe that's not true'' Jarvis said.
''Oh Shut Up'' he said and went back to bed.
Coulson could wait a little longer in the morning.
He was going to sleep for a few hours.