Out Of Time
Phil walked slowly through the Captain American exhibit, his eyes taking in every little detail around him. He knew going had been a risk, his survival was still need to know, and he was sure there were a few around there that didn’t need that knowledge yet. Still there was something pulling him there, something more than just his childhood obsession with Captain America.
Stopping in front of the display of uniforms, Phil felt as though he had the wind knocked out of him. Since his resurrection he had found things in his mind out of place, as though the memories of his childhood somehow didn’t fit right and were slowly being pushed out. Though what was replacing them he couldn’t say.
His eyes settled on the display above him, and he had to keep himself from toppling over. A burning pain shot through his head as he tried to make sense of everything. There was something missing up there, two uniforms that should be there that wasn’t. He wasn’t sure what made him believe that, but he felt it in his heart as sure as he knew the earth was round.
Hands settled on his shoulders and he found himself being maneuvered away from the crowds and into a dark corner. He allowed the stranger to lead him to a single folding chair and set him down. He finally gave in and pressed his hands tightly around his temples. Everything in his mind was shifting, pieces of himself pushed away and obliterated into nothing more than mist.
Those same hands that had led him away from the display slid down the back of his head, the fingers carding through his hair. He leaned into the touch, feeling somehow comforted by the stranger’s touch. He could hear whispered words of reassurance, but he couldn’t focus on them as image after image assaulted him. With each one he felt a piece of his old self dissolve and himself become just a bit more whole.
Phil rambled off his name and number over and over, the mummer of his friend on the other side of the room joining him. They had been the only two prisoners brought to the back room that hadn’t left in a body-bag. He wasn’t so sure if that was a blessing or not.
Footsteps echoed sharply through the room, and Phil waited for the pain that came with the mad doctor’s visits. Instead he felt the straps across his body flung off him and a set of strong arms slip around him. He barely paid attention to what was going on beyond the fact that him and Bucky had apparently been rescued.
The world around him exploded in bright flashes of blue and red. The arms around him dropped, and Phil had to summon as much energy as he could just to remain standing. Bucky slipped up beside him, and the two made off side by side following the large soldier in front of them.
He didn’t question it, not the man that looked like he wore part of the freaking American flag, or that Bucky apparently knew the man. After the experiments and the pain Phil didn’t giving a flying fuck about anything other than getting his Goddamned ass out of there. Though he was sure later on when he had time to process all the shit he had gone through he would be questioning the fact that he had watched a man tear his own face off. He thought that was something he should probably question, but at the moment he was too worried about making it out of the place alive.
Phil walked slowly through the camp, his boots gathering up even more mud as he made his way around the tents. They had been back just hours, but already he had been checked by medical and sent on his way. All the others besides Bucky had to be treated for various ailments, but the two of them had been told all they needed was sleep. And that was something Phil wanted to avoid as much as he could, he didn’t even want to think about the nightmares that awaited him.
“Steve! I swear to God I could kill you!”
Phil blinked at the piercing scream. He turned towards the voice, coming to stand outside of one of the tents he had been told belonged to the USO tour. He moved slowly so not to call attention to himself, and peeked inside to find his rescuer being chastised by a little brunette.
“What would you expect me to do? Bucky was out there, I wasn’t about to leave him to die!” Steve ran a hand through his hair as he looked down at the young woman.
“I understand that, but… Steve, do you realize how worried all us girls were?” The brunette looked down and slipped off the long gloves she wore, her face shooting up with a fiery look in her eyes. “Damn it, Steve! I thought you were dead!” The woman started slapping Steve in the chest with her gloves over and over until she had the man backed up against one wall of the tent.
“Oh, come on now Darce, I’m fine. Hey, I’m Captain America.” Steve gave a cheeky little smile down at her, a smile that fell quickly when the woman just glared.
“Don’t start that with me, you’re not a soldier.” Darce twirled around from him and tossed her gloves across the tent.
“As much as everyone wants to pretend otherwise I’m not a dancing monkey, I am a soldier. You all forget I have been trained, just like everyone else out there.” Steve dropped the act, his body going straight as he looked at the back of the woman.
“The difference is that they’ve seen war, you’ve only played at it.” Darce jumped as Steve clasped his hands around her shoulders and forcefully turned her around.
“I never wanted it that way and you know it, you were there from the beginning. You know this was not what we were meant for, this dancing on strings, we are soldiers.” Steve slipped his hands up to cup her face and held her close. “You seem to have forgotten that.”
“If you think I was actually picked to fight you are even more naïve than I thought.” Darce pulled away and moved to sit on the edge of the cot.
“You don’t believe they meant us to…?” Steve blinked down at the woman in front of him. “You are like my sister.”
“I wasn’t the only woman picked, just the first one. Compatible they said.” Darce shook her head before resting it in her hands. “Sometimes you are so innocent, Steve.”
“I’m not as innocent as you might think. And I’m not a coward either, you might not want to fight, but I’m not going to spend my time dancing for pennies when I could be out there fighting.” Steve took a step forward, but quickly changed his mind and slipped out the other side of the tent.
Phil stood there, his mind trying to work out everything he had just heard. When he had gotten back to camp he had been informed that the man who rescued him had been Captain America. It was a piece of information that he had found funny, being rescued by an actor. He was beginning to realize that maybe there was more going on than anyone else knew.
“You might as well come in before someone catches you, I’d hate to see what Steve would do to you if he gets wind of your spying.”
Startled, Phil let out an undignified squeak, but still moved forward into the tent. The woman, Darce, was still sitting on the edge of the cot with her head in her hands.
“I didn’t mean to spy.” He really didn’t know what to say, he had no idea who this woman was beyond being one of the chorus girls from the show.
“Yes you did, that’s alright though. I’m not sure I really want to be alone right now.” Darce looked up and gave a weak smile, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “You one of the men he rescued?”
“Yes Ma’am, Sergeant Phillip Coulson.” Phil extended a hand, allowing it to fall back to his side when the woman didn’t move.
“You were the one Steve found with Bucky.” It wasn’t a question, just a simple statement of fact.
“You know Bucky Ma’am?” Phil clasped his hands behind his back and just looked down at the woman.
“Not in person, just from the stories Steve always tells.” Darce stood from the cot and went to a large trunk in the corner of the tent, bending down and rummaging through it.
“Yeah, um, Bucky is always talking about his friend back home. But I have to say that the description doesn’t really match up to the man at all.” Phil kept his eye firmly away from the woman bent almost all the way over. She was still in her costume and the way she was positioned at the moment meant he could see everything underneath.
“Eh, he was a late bloomer.” Darce laughed as she straightened up, a bottle in hand. “Here we are.”
“I beg your pardon Ma’am, but I don’t think any kind of blooming had anything to do with it.” He looked over towards the trunk to find the woman once again fully upright with a bottle of cheap whisky in her hands.
“Don’t call me Ma’am, the name’s Darcy Lewis, but Darce works well. Though call me doll and I’ll break your legs.” Darce twisted the cap off the bottle and took a large sip before handing the bottle over.
“If the General found out you had this you’d be in trouble.” Phil took the bottle, and ignoring his last words, tipped it up and gulped down a mouthful.
“Nothin’ that he can really do. Plus Grandaddy is just a big pussycat, don’t let his growl bother you.” Darcy laughed as Phil choked on the whisky and took the bottle back to down a swallow herself.
“You’re the General’s granddaughter? Fuck, sorry, but I’m dead.” Phil watched on as Darcy laid herself out on the cot, and he wondered if he would have been safer back with Hydra.
“Not really, but it pisses him off when I call him that. I’ve known him for awhile now, he’s never liked me, but I’m kind of too important for him to do anything to.” Darcy winked and then patted the side of the cot. She smiled wide as Phil sat down and took the bottle back.
“Just how important, in fact how important is your friend? I heard what you two were talking about, and I’m not dumb enough to believe it’s about basic training.” He looked down at the bottle surprised that half of it was gone already and all he felt was a slight relaxing of his body. He should’ve started to feel fussy by that point, but his head was still as clear as ever. He wondered if the whisky was defective.
“Classified, for now anyway. All I will tell you, is that once this war is over, Steve and I will no longer be our own people. We signed that away awhile ago.” Darcy relaxed further into the cot, one of her legs moving up to run along Phil’s back.
“That doesn’t sound right.” He wasn’t an idiot, he knew that the military had been doing experiments, he just didn’t know about what. Though after seeing Bucky’s Steve he had a pretty fair idea.
“Nothing ever is, but at least right now I’m my own woman.” Darcy turned over on her side, curling her legs around Phil’s side. She lifted up enough that she could run her hand up his back and into his hair. “And right now I need a distraction.”
“Ma’am… Darcy, uh…” Phil turned to look at the woman curled around him and felt all the blood in his body drain away and gather in one area.
“I’m not talking about commitment here, just a bit of mutual distraction. I’m sure whatever you went through out there was horrific.” Darcy uncurled herself from around him and went to stand in front of him, her hand placed out in front of her. “Come on, trust me.”
Phil looked from her face, to her hand and back. He could really get in trouble for what he was thinking, not just from Captain America, but from the General if what he suspected was true. Still, she was right, he needed to take his mind off of everything and he hadn’t felt that particular pleasure in too long. With a smile he took her hand and pulled her onto his lap.
Phil looked between him and the others as Steve walked away. It was probably crazy agreeing to join Captain America, but the man had saved him when he could have easily left him on that table and he figured it was the least he could do. Not to mention he really wanted to kick the shit out of Hydra’s ass for what they had done to him.
“You know, we are going to need a name.” Dum Dum set down his already empty glass and wiped at his bushy face.
“And what would you suggest? And be warned if you make any mention of chorus girls I will stick a grenade up your ass.” Gabe glared over the top of his glass at the larger man.
“That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Once people find out our commander is Captain America there are goin’ to be all kinds of jokes.” Dum Dum winked at Gabe, but before anyone could make another comment his eyes grew large. “Speaking about chorus girls, isn’t that one of Cap’s?”
Phil turned around and felt his heart speed up at the sight before him. Darcy weaved her way through the pub alongside of Agent Carter. Both of them looked beautiful, but he only had eyes for Darcy. After that night in her tent, they had parted ways. He hadn’t thought he would ever see her again, but there she was walking past his table and completely ignoring him.
“You don’t think the Ol’ Cap is stepping out with her, do you?” Dum Dum’s eyes followed Darcy as she slipped into the back room with Carter.
Phil wanted to deck him in the nose, but one night in her bed did not make her his girl. With that in mind, he stood from the table and made his way to the bar, Jim’s words following him: “Lucky bastard. Probably had his pick of girls on the tour.”
He stationed himself at the bar with another pint in hand, far enough away from the other room he didn’t look like he was snooping, but close enough he could hear what they were saying. He pressed himself closer to the bar as Agent Carter slipped past, hoping that she hadn’t noticed him.
“So, I’m here.” Darcy sounded tired.
“No need to sound so excited.” And of course Bucky sounded amused.
“I’m not, this isn’t what I was made for.”
Phil felt his brows raise at that, he had had his suspicions on what had happened back in the states but never anything solid to go on.
“Neither was dancing. Come on Darce, I know you can do this.” Steve’s voice was the softest that Phil had ever heard.
“Maybe I don’t want to do this. Look, I signed up to help my people, but I’m not sure I could actually kill someone.”
Phil’s hands tightened around his glass as he realized just what she was doing there. He hadn’t thought that Steve would ever recruit Darcy for their little group, but if what he guessed was correct it made sense. Even if he didn’t like it.
“I need you Darcy, we need you.”
Phil stopped himself from leaning back so he could see what was going on as well, and just downed half his beer.
“I’m guessing those goons out there are going to be our team.” Darcy sighed, her voice sounding even more tired than a moment ago.
“They are good men. I know this is not ideal, but we can do it.”
“Steve, leave the lady alone. You can’t ask her to go trapezing around with eight men.” Though Bucky still sounded amused, he also sounded serious.
“Fine, you guys are going to need someone to keep you inline anyway.”
“Thank you, Darcy. I know with the two of you by my side we can do this. We’re going to stop them and win this war.”
“You get me killed on this, know that I will come back and beat the shit out of you. Now, I’m going to go and get a stiff drink.”
Phil bowed his head, keeping his eyes on his half empty glass. He hoped Darcy wouldn’t recognize him, of course he figured his luck would have to run out some time.
“You have a very bad habit of eavesdropping.” Darcy leaned over and took the glass from Phil’s hand and downed the rest of the beer.
“I hadn’t expected to see you again, mostly here.” Phil looked up to find the woman looking at him with a small smile on her face.
“Yeah, well I hadn’t really planned on being here either. So, if it’s going to be weird for you I suggest you get over it.” Darcy waved down the bartender, asking for the strongest drink they had and lots of it.
“I’m not bothered, we didn’t do anything wrong. I just thought you didn’t want to fight.” Phil turned his stool and leaned back a little so he could see all of her. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. It might not have been that long ago, but she seemed to have grown brighter in that time.
“I was being selfish, after seeing all of you after Steve brought you back scared me. But Steve is right, I can do this and I should.” Darcy downed half her glass in one go before turning to look at him with a pained smile.
“Are you ever going to tell me what they did to you?” He had been trying to figure it out, listening closely when people whispered, but all he could make out was something called Project Rebirth and nothing else.
“Maybe, it’s bound to come up if we are all working together.” Darcy raised her glass and downed the rest of it. “Come on, if you come with me to meet the rest of our little group of idiots maybe I won’t kill any of them.”
Phil slid off his stool and followed Darcy to the table with the others. He wasn’t sure what the Captain was thinking, but hopefully everything wouldn’t blow up in their faces.
Phil slid down the side of the building and tried to get his breathing to slow. Each of his teammates laughed as the smoke cleared. It had been another successful mission, another Hydra base dismantled. He looked down as he felt a hand slip into his free one. He smiled at the woman next to him and squeezed her hand.
“We got’em!” Darcy wound her fingers with his and leaned a bit more into his side.
“Of course we did.” Phil leaned into her, hoping that his gun would hide the fact that they were holding hands. He knew it was silly, everyone knew they were together, even if none of them said anything.
“You owe me though, I got five more than you.” Darcy laughed when he raised a single brow.
“I demand a recount.” Deciding not to care, Phil tapped Darcy’s nose and leaned in to press a single kiss to her smiling lips.
“Alright you two, the place is clear. Let’s get out of here before you start rolling around on the ground.” Dum Dum winked at the two of them, his smile taking up half his face. “Plus anyway, I got ten more than both of you two put together.”
“Shut the fuck up, Dummy!” Darcy stuck her tongue out, but stood and pulled Phil along with her. “Come on, Steve owes me a favor and you need to pay up.”
“Keep it down this time! No one needs to hear that!”
Phil stood next to Darcy, the both of them looking up at the zip-line. He leaned into her side, his hand seeking hers as he listened to Steve and Bucky. As long as their Intel was correct this mission could really pay off in a big way.
“Doesn’t look too hard.” Darcy gave a cheeky little smile, a peek of her white teeth showing from behind her plump lips.
“Let me guess, back home you did this every Saturday?” Phil laughed when Darcy rolled her eyes. He didn’t want to admit it, but there was something about the mission that was bothering him.
“No, silly. After dancing for hours on end in heels day after day this is nothing.” Darcy reached up and smoothed her hand through his thinning hair.
“I’ll just have to take your word on that.” Ignoring the men around them, Phil leaned down until he could press his lips against hers. When he pulled back he could see a hint of tears in her eyes. “When this is all over I’m going to ask you to marry me.”
“And I’m going to say yes.” A single tear fell from Darcy’s eye and was quickly caught when Phil slipped his hand over her cheek.
“Alright you two, enough of the mushy stuff, time to go.”
It had been a trap, of course it had been a trap. Phil leaned back against one side of the train car, his eyes trained on Darcy. They had entered together, guns at the ready. Only neither one could have prepared for what was waiting for them. A high pitched whine drew his attention from Darcy and to the armored man that had just entered the car.
Phil’s eyes went wide as Darcy, after mouthing an ‘I love you,’ stood from her cover and started firing. He didn’t have time to yell before Darcy’s body was thrown across the car and into the wall. There was a loud snap and a thump as she fell limply to the floor.
His heart tried to beat out of his chest. There was no way what he had seen was real, any minute now Darcy would stand up shouting obscenities and start shooting. Only she didn’t. Red took over his vision as Phil dove from his cover shooting. He knew he was out gunned, he knew he would die, but at that moment he couldn’t have cared less. If he was going to die, he was going to do it shouting and shooting.
Pain filled his body as he as flung back the same as Darcy. There was a loud snap before he slid down. Darkness crept into his vision, slowly moving inwards as everything faded into nothing.
Phil woke slowly, the pain in his back almost unbearable. He wasn’t sure what was going on, the last he remembered Darcy had been killed and he had followed after her. So why he was awake and in pain he didn’t know.
He blinked his eyes open, but even though he could see everything was blurry. The room he was in was brightly lit and smelled like a hospital. He turned his head, his blurry eyes taking in a body lying on the bed next to him. He could just make out Darcy’s long waves and sighed in relief.
“They should be waking up soon.”
Phil felt his heart speed up at the voice. It was somewhere close, and moving closer if the sound of footfall was any indication. The man sounded American, though Phil knew that didn’t mean anything. Still, he held out hope that him and Darcy had been rescued by their own people. Though he still shut his eyes and pretended to sleep.
“I’m surprised the woman hasn’t already. She was given the good stuff.”
“What are we going to do once they do wake up? I heard General--”
“We’ve instructions to clean them. The Brass have plans for them.”
“What could we possibly need them for now? Why not just let them go home?”
“As far as anyone knows, Sergeant Coulson and Agent Lewis are dead. These two, they are now property of the United States Government.”
“Won’t the others figure it out?”
“Captain America and Sergeant Barnes are dead, and the remaining Commandos are being dealt with. Now, it would be best to clean them while they are still out.”
“Of course, Sir.”
Phil willed his heart and breathing to slow. He wasn’t sure what “cleaning” was, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t good. He listened as one set of steps faded away while the other came to stand behind him.
“I’m sorry Sergeant, you and the Miss deserve more than this. Hopefully they will give you a good life after this.”
He felt something clamp over his head, pressing into his temples. He couldn’t help the panic, he knew what it was that had just been fitted over him and he had never wanted to feel it again. A gag was shoved into his mouth right before the pain started. He just hoped that Darcy was still out.
He was leaning fully now into the touch of the stranger, his breathing coming faster and faster. Image after image flashed before his mind. Scenes of strange apartments, strange beds. Of jobs and friends he never remembered having. Of love affairs that never seemed to quite measure up, but to what he hadn’t known until then. He could feel the pain of that damned machine after each time he had begun to remember.
They had taken everything from him, his memories, his life, and Darcy. They had wiped their minds and gave them new lives with new families, all so they could control them. He thought he would be sick. How many at Shield had known who he was? How many of them had been part of the illusion, befriending him just to keep an eye on him?
He recalled just after Steve had been found. There had been a feeling in his chest that had been beyond that of seeing a childhood hero. He remembered how Fury had been, the way he had kept looking at him. At one point he had sent Phil from the room, claimed the doctors needed room. He wondered now if they had “cleaned” Steve then, removed him and Darcy from his mind.
Darcy… They had taken her from him, done the same to her. He had seen her all those years ago in the desert and he had passed right over her. He wanted to hurt everyone that had ripped them apart. And what had it all been for? Samples of their blood? What?
“Shhh, now, everything is alright.”
Phil stilled as the voice finally registered. He didn’t want to hope only to look up and find that his mind had been playing a trick on him. Slowly his opened his eyes and set them on the woman in front of him. Tears gathered at the corners of his eyes and slid down unchecked.
“Darcy…” He reached out a hand, letting it fall before he could touch her cheek.
“The one and only.” Darcy gave him a wet smile, her whole body seeming to vibrate where she kneeled.
“How…” He felt as though his tongue had swelled several sizes within his mouth where couldn’t talk. Not that Darcy seemed to mind, she just continued to run her fingers through his hair.
“It’s been happening slowly through the years. Each and every time they wiped me it seemed to stick less. When you came to take away Jane’s research it all started to fall apart.” Darcy smiled and settled herself closer to him. “Something told me to be quiet about it, I didn’t allow anyone to know that I had been having dreams or strange thoughts. I just allowed them to come. I remembered everything just after London. I’ve been trying to find you since.” A few tears fell down Darcy’s cheeks, but she ignored them as Phil slipped down from the chair to kneel in front of her.
“I thought you had died; back on that train, I thought you had died.” Phil gathered her up in his arms and just held on as tight as he could.
“I think we both did, but they needed us. Bucky had been lost, fell off the mountain, and well you know what happened to Steve.” Darcy curled her arms tightly around him, holding him against her and rocking back and forth.
“They don’t need us anymore, this is the end.” He wouldn’t go back, Shield, Fury, he no longer cared about any of them.
“Not Shield, no. But Steve does, him and Bucky. They need us.” Darcy pulled back, her hands coming up to frame his face.
He knew she was right, they had been their friends all those years ago. It wasn’t their fault, what happened to them.
“And then when all this is over…” Phil ran his hands up over Darcy’s back until he could slip them into her hair. He looked into her eyes, just as wet as his own, and hoped she remembered, hoped she understood.
“I’ll be saying yes.”