The aftermath
Izuku was tired in more ways than one. He had relapse after a fucking month and a half of being clean. He was sitting in his rundown studio apartment high off his ass and covered in cuts and burns. He had thought about ending it more than once within the last hour but he couldn't do it early. No He had set a date for a reason.He was angry, he was depressed, he had given up and god, the stupid guy standing on the opposite wall ushering him to kill himself wasn't helping. He hated all his hallucinations but Jamie was the worst. He's dealt with hallucinations since as long as he can remember. They first started when he was around five. At first it was just side glances,Shadows moving when they are not supposed to. But they scared izuku to the point where he called them shadow monsters. But over time they gradually evolved into people. Akio was the first to come. When Izuku was eight, It scared his mom shitless when she found him in his room laughing and talking to himself. She had asked him who he was talking to and he looked at her confused. ¨im talking to Akio¨ he said and went back to playing. After that she had spent the whole night researching but ended up coming to a conclusion that izuku had an imaginary friend. It wasn't uncommon for lonely kids to have them. But by the time he was 10 she took him to a psychologist because he kept talking about people watching him from vents and he had more imaginary friends¨ but the new ones were violent . It took a little over a year and a half for him to be diagnosed with schizoaffective and that's when katsukis bullying really picked up. Izuku's thoughts drift to his mother. He missed her so badly. She always knew how to make them go away. He knew she definitely wouldn't be proud of him right now but he needed this right now. He picked up self harm at fourteen, took a wild guess which hallucination started him on that habit ,and with his mothers help he ended up stopping completely a few years later, but then she died and Izuku couldn't didn't know how to handle it. So here he is looking pathetic with a knife in hand adding to his ever growing scars. He completely expected himself to pass out sooner or later, from either the weed or blood loss. What he did not expect was for someone to knock on his apartment door at eleven o'clock pm.He would have gotten up to answer but his whole body ached.Kachaan always knocked first. Even though he has a key. Jamie was laughing at him “ you fucked up my guy” and izuku rolled his eyes by the time he looked back jamie was gone “He tried to speak but no sound came out. Kachaan picked the worst time to swing by. He curled up,trying to make himself as small as possible. His breathing became erratic. The door opened. When Katsuki walked in the room, it smelled strongly of marijunana . At first though maybe he walked into the wrong apartment until he saw Deku curled up in a ball by the couch, his shoulder length,tangled green hair covering his face. His shoulders moved up and down slightly. He wanted to be angry,He knew izuku was at a low point but drugs? Katsuki would have never thought deku would even……
He was about to go off on him when he saw how bloody izuku was. He immediately thought maybe someone had broken in,or izuku invited some bad people over by accident. He never was the best judge of character. Until he saw what izuku was clutching in his left hand. A kitchen knife
“ DEKU” Katsuki yelled.Izuku looked up,his eyes red from both drugs and crying.
Katsuki ran towards Izuku grabbing his butchered arm as gently as possible while still being able to get the blade away. He threw the piece of metal to the ground. Before wrapping izuku in a hug. This was all it took to break him. Izuku began to sob. He didn't care if Kachaan saw him as weak after this, he just really needed the comfort. After several minutes Izuku finally stopped crying. “ Who are you seeing, is it jamie?” Katsuki says and izuku nods into his chest. Bakugou really didn't know what to think of this. He knew izuku hallucinated quite often. He'd known that practically all his life and yet he never would have thought that izuku self harmed because of them. He couldn't help but think that it was his fault. Yea it probably was. He had made izuku' life a living hell. Izuku looked like he could barely stand, Still shaking. Katsuki took note of this and picked him up bridal style and carried him to the bathroom. He gently sat izuku down on the edge of the tub. Then rummaged through the bathroom cabinets until he found some first aid supplies. He told Izuku to take his shorts and yellow shirt off leaving the boy in a blue pair of boxers. He had scars, and a lot of them. burns too. Katsuki doesn't see how he didn't notice before. The scars ranged from looking a few years old and fading to the most recent cuts. He took a deep breath to keep himself from retching. Noif this was going to work he needed to focus on deku. “ hey Deku,” Bakugou says, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. “ how long have you been doing this”? Izuku looks in katsukis general direction, but not at him “ which part” Izuku dryly laughs out “ the drugs or the self harm” Katsuki knew that he probably wouldn't get an honest answer out of izuku. He was a fucking master at deflection. “Both” katsuki whispers out and izuku's face darkens “ i don't think you want to know”
He noticed that high izuku definitely has more confidence, if not stuttering is something to go by. He continues to talk “or maybe i just don't want to tell you. I'll probably be dead soon anyway”. Katsukis blood ran cold and he grit his teeth wants him to elaborate on the last part but Izuku's train of thought is already gone. Now he's mumbling about how his mom loved cooking and that he wished he knew how '' izuku'' katsuki says firmly “ how long have you been self harming” katsuki tries again,settling for one question at a time. He grabs the disinfecting cream,burn cream and a wet towel,and gently gets to work on the cuts and burns on Izuku's arms. He didn't go deep enough for stitches.. “ on and off for almost five years,” izuku whispers. Katsukis heart stops “deku you could have hit a damn vein” he says frustrated.not really at izuku, but the whole situation. Soon both of his arms were bandaged and bakugou was working on the ones on his stomach. He realized that izuku was really skinny. You could practically see his rib cages. He decided that for now on he'd make sure izuku ate at least one meal a day. Izuku was still incoherently mumbling and before long Katsuki was finished fixing him up. “Deku” Katsuki says looking at Izuku” have you been taking your meds?” izuku doesn't reply so he takes that as a no.
izuku was always worse when he was off his medicine. He opened Izuku's dresser and pulled out a green sweatshirt and some black joggers. Before throwing them at him and leaving the room. Izuku stumbled out of the bathroom a few minutes later. “ I'm going to bed, kachaan” izuku says tiredly walking towards his bed but Katsuki stops him. “No i don't trust you here alone, your obviously not in the right state mind,”.izukus words about dying soon replaying in his head “you might do something fucking stupid,your coming home with me”. Izuku sighed “ok kachaan” he was still dizzy but that was to be expected. Katsuki must have noticed because he swung an arm over izukus shoulder to steady him. Izuku's high was definitely wearing off and he could feel a headache coming on. Katsuki helped him into the car and then got into the driver's seat. Izuku fell asleep not even ten minutes into the drive and Katsuki let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He was already having a shitty day but now he had the nerd to worry about it. He couldn't lie, he felt responsible. He bullied Deku so much. He was almost a hundred percent sure izuku had started self harm because of him. He had fucked izuku up the same way that his mom had done him. He can't erase the past but he'd be damned if he didn't try to make up for his mistakes. That is what made him different from the old hag. He was willing to admit that he was wrong and try to fix shit. Katsuki wondered how Izuku would feel about seeing a therapist. He didn't really care. He'd drag Deku's depressed ass there if he had to. Before long they arrived at his house. Katsuki glanced over at izuku. He looked a lot like his old self when was asleep. He pondered waking the boy beside him up,but decided against it. He instead walked over to the passenger side and opened the door before gently picking up izuku and carrying him into the house. He layed izuku in his bed and grabbed a spare blanket from the top of his closet getting ready to head to the couch. Izuku stirred “kachaan”? He says grabbing onto Katsuki's hand Katsuki looked at izuku before saying “yea” izuku was definitely half asleep but he looked on the verge of tears.” can you stay please”? Katsuki was worried. He didn't know if Izuku was still high or if he was just that emotionally unstable. He never has asked for any type of physical contact since they were kids and Katsuki didn't want to take advantage of izuku. He weighs his options, if he stays when deku wakes up he might freak out but he knows that he's a light sleeper so if izuku was to wake up in the middle of the night he wouldn't be able to do anything extreme .He put the bedding back on top of the closet and laid down next to izuku. He notices a few tears fall down izuku's eyes and he pulls him close, wrapping his arms around izuku's small form. He was scared for izuku. He was always a very emotional person. But now he couldn't shake the image of deku bleeding in his house. He doesn't think he’ll let izuku stay home by himself for a while. He couldn't necessarily just take izukus sharps. He needed those to cook and for self defense if something were to ever happen. Not to mention the little shit was resourceful. He had some friends that could “hangout” with izuku while he's at work, and by hangout he means make sure deku doesn't hurt himself. He thinks about kirishima. Deku probably wouldn't want him telling anyone about what had happened. So he would just tell Ejiro that he needed someone to keep his old childhood friend company. Ejiro had recently taken a month off. He and Mina got married two and a half weeks ago and had already had their honeymoon and Kasuki was best man at their wedding. Ejiro had planned to meet izuku anyway. Katsuki was sure he wouldn't mind. Actually, Ejiro would be overjoyed that he was repairing his relationship with deku. He looked down at izuku. who was now softly snoring .Katsuki gently stroked Izuku's hair. He couldn't lie, Izuku looked really pretty with his longer hair. It made his freckles pop. Katsuki first realized that he had feelings for izuku in his second year of high school. Mrs Akio,during one of their sessions had proposed the idea and he spent a long time thinking about it. At first he denied it but slowly it hit him. When he began to try to mend things with izuku, during senior year,he completely would have understood if izuku never wanted to see him again but deku was way too forgiving. He was just happy that Katsuki was getting the help he needed. He did request some time though. He needed to heal first. So Katsuki waited until Izuku called him. It was a little over a month later. It felt awkward to Katsuki at first but slowly things went back to how they were little. Then Auntie Inko died and izuku shut him out. It's only been about nine months since her death and while it did affect him.it mentally killed Izuku and Katsuki knew it. The fight with his parents didn't seem so big now. Katsuki sighed then closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him.