Chapter 2
“Hello?”
She doesn't know why, but it feels wrong to be dialling this number again. It's been a couple of days since Clint went missing, and she's not sure if bringing these news now would give the woman on the other end of the line some peace of mind.
“Hi Laura, it's Natasha.” She's not sure if her making the call is a good idea, but here she is. And, besides, before she can say anything, Laura has already replied.
“Have you found him?”
God, Natasha hates this. She knows that it's her duty to Clint to keep Laura aware of the developments. After all, Laura is next of kin. If Clint dies, she's the one his personal effects will be sent to. She's the one who'll have to raise two kids on her own, never having gotten to say goodbye to him. Clint, who always calls home before every mission to make sure that they had done that. Said goodbye. But not this time.
“Not exactly,” Natasha replies, as she shakes her head. She doesn't know how to say it?
Of course Laura had gone straight to that. They'd agreed last time that if Natasha found him or heard any sort of news Laura would be the first to know... But like this? Was it maybe not better to keep her in the dark about these last developments?
Natasha hears ruffling at the end of the line, before Laura speaks again.“He was in Germany too, wasn't he?”
Well. It had been all over the news. Captain America and Iron Man working as a team to take down unknown enemy – apparently called Loki – at a Scientific Gala. There had been several casualties, a doctor and some security guards, and several injured. If Natasha knew Laura well, and she was sure she did, she knew that Laura had made the connection. Natasha's name had stayed clear of the press releases (she didn't wear a fancy gown like Cap or Stark did, and she had stayed in the quinjet for most of the time). But, Laura did have a past as a SHIELD analyst, and she'd been trained to this sort of thing. Natasha takes a deep breath before she replies. Don't screw this up, Natasha.
“Yeah, he was. Loki was a distraction for what Clint was really up to. With all that pomp and circumstance, we all lost our cool...” She pauses, unsure of what to say. We lost our focus? Got too excited? Cap and Stark had apprehended Loki, and she had been too busy getting a read of the God of Mischief to pay attention to what was happening in the shadows. And, of course, Clint would have known that. 'Course he did. Clint always knew everything.
“How can you be sure it was him?” Laura asks.
As Natasha goes through the different ways of telling her, she thinks back to Germany again. Clint had been right under her nose, and she had missed him. To be this close... God, the frustration of her failure to notice him made her lie awake at night and roll around in bed, sleepless. She hadn't been able to sleep much since Clint had been taken anyway. But to know that she could have gone in, tried to apprehend him... It made her so angry at herself that she felt like she had disappointed everybody.
“He killed two security agents. Larynx shot.”
Natasha hates this. She decided to say it the most direct way she knew. Laura and herself both know that Clint always tries to go for minimum casualties when he is on a mission, shooting in the shoulder or in vests to just knock the air out of them (if they aren't hostile, that is). But here? He'd used that larynx shot and killed them on the spot.
If Stark hadn't interfered... If Loki hadn't surrendered that easily... If she had just asked some of the eyewitnesses about what had happened, she would have understood. And gone after him. But instead, she's standing here, having to call his wife to tell her he's still M.I.A.
Well. At least they know he isn't dead, she thinks.
Laura breaks her from her thoughts. “No trace of him at all?” Natasha can hear her secretly hoping that maybe they had picked up on something. A tracker, anything.
She has to sigh before she replies. “No. We lost him before we even found him.” She rubs her temple. With all that happened in the wake of SHIELD taking in Loki, she hasn't had time to rest. With Thor having showed up too, and with all the testosterone, she feels a bit lonely. She's just a spy. All the others have some sort of enhancement. If Clint was here, she knows, they'd joke about being the only fully humans on the team. She remembers Clint calling Stark the first 'mandroid' when she had come back from shadowing him while he was in New Mexico, and he'd had to take a couple of minutes to stop laughing at his own humor.
God she missed him.
“How are you holding up, Nat?” Laura always is the one to worry about the others. Natasha knows why Clint married her. It's as if she knows why Natasha paused, and why she isn't answering.
“Oh... Holding up alright. It's been a busy week, is all,” she replies in what is a mix between a sigh and a chuckle. Out of the two of them, she should be the one asking how Laura is doing. But, there is some sort of mutual respect. After all, both of them have Clint in common and need him in their daily life. Not for the same things, sure, but still... Natasha sighs again.
“Haven't been sleeping well?”
“Nah,” there's no point in lying to Laura. Just like Clint she can spot bullshit a mile away. “I just want this mission to be over.” She isn't used to telling people how tired she is, or how she really feels. It's always the mission, yes sir I copy, I will do this, even though I'm tired as hell and I just want my bed for forty five weeks. Laura won her trust early on. (The first time Natasha saw Clint fall asleep on the couch, with the window open and all of the world able to peep in at the farm, with only Laura sitting next to him, she had understood that Laura would never betray them. Ever.)
They also had a sort of 'if you don't lie to me, I won't lie to you' deal going on.
She hears Cooper's voice say something. Laura puts her hand on the phone, she thinks, to try and keep her voice out of Natasha's ear. “Tell Lila to climb down from the couch, she needs to shower before she can-” The sigh that follows tells Natasha that Lila has refused to climb down, or that Cooper joined her. “I've got to go,” she says and Natasha nods.
“Alright. I just wanted to tell you about Clint, that's all.” She pauses again.
“Well, he'll show up to get this Loki guy out,” Laura adds, hopefully. “If he's working with him like he does with you, he will show up. He always does to get his partners out,” she finishes, and Natasha can almost feel her cheeks turn red. (Thankfully, she stopped blushing at those sort of comments a long time ago.)
Laura chuckles lightly. “When he does come, don't hit him too hard on the head, alright? Just bring him home in one piece.”
Natasha doesn't know if Laura's truly amused, but she won't question her. It's been a long conversation already. “I promise I won't. Soon as I know something's up, I'll call,” she says, and hears Laura walk past Lila and Cooper who are pretending to not hear her (Natasha can hear the 'lalalalalala' the kids are chanting).
“Talk to you soon,” Natasha says, and hopes that the next time is with good news. She disconnects the call and pulls out the battery of the phone. She looks at the useless device for a while, before she sighs. Clint, where the hell are you and what are you up to now?