Rainbow in the Dark
Eddie jolts awake to the sound of rustling a few feet away from him. Instinctively he grabs the table lamp next to the couch and holds it outwards, brandishing it as if it were a weapon.
“Woah! Eddie, hey! It’s just me!” Robin’s voice cuts through the darkness, he lets out a heavy breath of relief and places the lamp back on the table.
It had been four nights since he’d started sleeping on Robin’s couch, it was actually going really well, other than the occasional nightmares. But that was something he was used to by now.
Dark unrelenting visions would plague his sleeping mind until he would find himself sitting up in the sofa-bed and shaking so hard he couldn’t even reach his backpack to light a joint. It was all very gothic and theatrical in his opinion. At the very least the thought of him being the protagonist in a horror novel instead of The Freak of Hawkins brought him some sort of twisted comfort.
“You almost gave me a heart attack.” He sighs, his eyes adjusting in the dark, it appears to be early in the morning, a beam of blue light glowing from the kitchen window. The living room is still shrouded in darkness with the curtains drawn.
“Sorry,” she smiles awkwardly,
“I just got off the phone I didn’t mean to wake you yet,” She stands by the couch twisting her hands together anxiously.
Eddie groans and shifts so that he’s sitting against the back of the sofa-bed.
“God you look more scared than I am.” He chuckles. This fails to calm Robin if her nervous habits of foot-tapping and hand-fiddling are anything to go by.
“Come here.” He says.
Robin sighs and crawls onto the sofa to sit beside Eddie.
“What’s up?” He asks calmly, well as calmly as he can. Ever since the upside down he’s been jumpy, to say the least. He knows it’s obvious, Wayne had noticed, Robin probably has too. Every sound, every shift in attitude or flicker of light and he’s thinking the worst. Thinking bats and dead girls and Vecna. And all those fucking vines.
“It’s just, ugh my mom, she got into some stupid argument with my aunt, remember I said she was kinda bitchy? Anyway that means my parents are gonna be a home a lot sooner than I expected and— god I really don’t want you to have to leave. It’s not fair and I’m sorry, really I am and I totally owe you now, but you can’t be here when they come back. I wish you could it’s just— well it would lead to some very weird conversations that I’m really not ready for and I can’t just- like I’ll still help you out I just-“ she babbles.
“Hey, hey, no worries, I get it.” He cuts her off, smiling at her. But there’s a feeling of dread and, as much as he hates to admit it, fear, at the thought of having to leave.
“Thanks for… all of this though, I mean it.” He rests his hand on her shoulder, she smiles at him.
“Yeah, yeah no problem.” She struggles to meet his eyes in that way that she does sometimes, but the sentiment is there.
“Hey, if you need anything though, you’re welcome to come irritate me at work whenever.”
“And here I was thinking that was Harrington’s job.” He jokes, trying keep the mood light.
“Oh my god! How did I not think of that?!” Robin smiles.
“You could crash at Steve’s! He won’t care, I stay there all the time, plus his parents are… well I don’t know where but they’re not home, won’t be for at least a month I’d bet. It’s perfect!” She says, voice filled with excitement and relief.
The thought of sleeping at Steve’s house makes Eddie’s stomach flip. Just the thought of being alone in a room with Steve makes Eddie feel uneasy, he hasn’t exactly spoken to him properly since they got back from the upside down. It’s not like he’s actively trying to to be around him or anything, more of just… carefully staying out of his way.
“Uhh yeah maybe.”
Robin seems to pick up on his discomfort,
“He really wouldn’t mind, you know?” Eddie shifts awkwardly and clears his throat,
“Yeah uh, I’ll think about it.”
—
The shift at Family Video goes by slowly, Steve sits on the stool near the counter putting tapes back into boxes as Robin deals with customers. The bell rings as Steve’s in the middle of putting Ferris Bueller’s Day Off back in its box
“Eddie!” Robin calls as footsteps sound on the tiled floor. Steve whips his head around at the sound of Eddie’s name, coming across way more intense than he intended. He catches Eddie’s eyes, for a second he looks almost amused by Steve but he very quickly turns to Robin, ignoring him. It makes his stomach turn.
“Hey, thought you’d be needing these back,” he says, placing a couple tapes on the table and drumming his hands on the counter.
“Man, you gotta stop renting all the shit I wanna watch.” Robin grumbles turning the tapes in her hands. Steve begins to make his way to stand beside Robin so he can put the movies in their boxes.
“You been doing okay? Yknow like… sleeping and all that?” She asks.
Eddie’s eyes flick to Steve nervously and suddenly he feels like he shouldn’t be hearing this, it frustrates him a little, that familiar pang of jealousy making him too stubborn to move away from the counter. Eddie scratches the back of his neck nervously.
“Well I wouldn’t exactly call myself a success story when it comes to all that.” He laughs sarcastically. Steve’s face softens, he’s reminded of Robin telling him about this, the mental image of Eddie sitting in his van all night too afraid to sleep in his own home makes Steve’s chest ache.
“Where’ve you been sleeping?” He blurts out.
Eddie blinks at him, looking a little uneasy, he gestures outside the store,
“Got some cushions in the van.” He shrugs as if it’s normal and Steve feels the urge to reach out, his stomach twisting. The thought of Eddie in that cold metal van without even a real mattress almost makes him feel angry.
“You could crash at mine for a while, if you want.” Eddie just stares at him for a second.
“There’s an empty guest room, sleeping in a real bed would probably help right?” He means it to come across like a joke but his tone doesn’t match, he finds himself unable to ease into that usual confidence he’s so used to leaning on.
“I mean, are you sure? You don’t have to.”Eddie starts
“He’s sure,” Robin interrupts him with a smile. Eddie looks between the two of them for a second and there’s a slight shift in his demeanor as this shield of confidence is put back up. He relaxes, eyes flicking between them both for a second before landing on Steve, a small smirk creeps onto his face and he’s got a twinkle in his eyes that wasn’t there before.
“Well that ‘real mattress’ of yours better be up to standard, I’ll have you know I’ve got some real comfy van cushions I’d be neglecting.” It’s an awkward joke, it’s not even really a joke and it’s not even that funny but Steve laughs a little anyway just because it’s Eddie.
Eddie has this effect on people, once he’s in his element he gets that sparkle in his eye, does his little social performance. It doesn’t matter what he says. It’s always effective, he always knows what buttons to press. It’s impressive, all the tension in the room gone, replaced with this sort of playfulness.
“Come see for yourself then huh? You can tell me all about your high standards.” He looks Eddie up and down as he says that last part, giving him a subtle smirk.
“Well then, I’ll see you tonight, Harrington,” Eddie says with a wink turning on his heel to leave.
“You’re welcome by the way,” Robin nudges him with her elbow.
“Yeah yeah.”
There’s a moment of silence and Steve tries to get back to work, even though he can feel that Robin is about to say something, sorting through the little puzzle pieces in her mind, constructing a sentence.
“So uh, you guys were flirting right? That’s what that was?”
Steve stiffens on instinct.
“Uhhhh.”
He doesn’t turn around.
“I dunno.” He shrugs
“Well, it sounded a lot like flirting to me, just saying,” she says, leaning into Steve’s space so that he can see her.
“Thanks for letting me know.” He rolls his eyes at her.
“I mean, were you… wanting to flirt with him?” She pushes further, grinning at him.
“Uhh… yes?” He says it like a question, barely audible.
“Oh my god! You have a crush don’t you?” It’s almost a routine at this point. Whenever Steve starts to act interested, like, actually interested in someone Robin starts teasing him like a kid on a playground.
“Ok, yeah! Maybe a little…” He feels a childish sort of frustration, like he’s been found first at hide and seek or broken his favourite crayon.
Robin’s face lights up and she opens her mouth to speak but Steve cuts her off, sternly pointing a finger at her.
“Don’t go making this a big deal! It’s not a big deal, it’s just a- I don’t know, but just don’t be weird okay?”
Robin suppresses a laugh.
“Whatever you say, Stevie!” She gives a little sarcastic salute, and slumps back against the counter.
Oh god, Eddie is gonna be at his house, tonight.
“Oh my god. He’s gonna be at my house tonight.” He says as if he’s only just found out.
The thought makes him feel a little light headed. If this was Heidi or Shirley or any of the other girls he’d been on fruitless dates with the last few months he wouldn’t even break a sweat, he knew the routine, the charm, the lines to say and the moves to make but Eddie was… Eddie. Everything about it felt entirely different, not just because it was a guy, there was also just something about Eddie that kind of scared him.
What do you even say to a guy like that? Someone so… so… he couldn’t think of a word to best describe him, he didn’t know if there were enough words to describe Eddie that would come close to doing him justice.
Robin raises her eyebrows at him.
“What if I say something dumb and he like… thinks I’m stupid or something?” He rambles.
Eddie’s always been good with words, he’s passionate and opinionated, always has a reason to say something. Steve had never been good with that sort of thing, he was a lot more show than tell.
“Wow,” Robin scoffs, not unkindly.
“You’re reallycare what he thinks you don’t you?”
“Shut up,” he mumbles, she just laughs.
—
Eddie paces the length of the cliff over-hanging the quarry, his van parked nearby.
What was he thinking?! Was he even thinking?
He chews his lip nervously, running a hand through his tangled hair.
Surely this was some kind of cruel twist of fate, Eddie Munson spending the night at Steve fucking Harrington’s house? As a dungeon master himself he understood such tricks were necessary to advance a story but even he wasn’t that unkind. And it’s not like Steve scared him, quite the opposite actually, Steve intrigued and excited him. This is much worse.
Maybe back in high school Steve might have frightened him in that way, the King of Hawkins High. Rich boy with too much free time and not enough common sense, harsh words rolling off his tongue so that he felt special.
Steve now though? Well he’s a walking contradiction, a mystery, a puzzle in an enticingly attractive box that Eddie’s itching to solve.
Eddie likes him and that makes it dangerous.
Steve’s okay with Robin of course but there’s a difference between a straight guy getting along with a lesbian and a straight guy finding out you’re gay and crushing on him. If there was one thing Eddie has learned from his limited sexual experiences, especially the failed ones, it’s that you can never be too careful.
That’s the catch however. Eddie’s much too impulsive to ever be considered careful. He’s known to push problems buttons, always having too much fun trying to rile up jocks in the cafeteria or throwing one-liners at strangers. He likes knowing what makes someone tick, what makes them angry or what makes them laugh. He just can’t help himself sometimes, messing around just to get a reaction, curiosity always getting the better of him.
Eddie’s a confident guy, sure, you have to be when you’re so continually ridiculed by so many people, otherwise you’ll probably just kill yourself. Right now though? The thought of being alone with Steve terrifies him, feels more dangerous than leaping from the cliff in front of him in hopes of growing wings.
—
Steve pulls into his driveway only to find Eddie’s van already parked, he climbs out of the front seat and makes his way towards the vehicle. As he rounds the corner he sees Eddie leaning against the van, knee bent with one foot against the metal and a cigarette between his fingers. He looks… hot, Steve’s allowed to think like that now, or more he’s allowing himself to, has been for the last few days.
He finds it’s a lot easier to get used to letting himself acknowledge that than have to jump through mental hoops to explain away why a guy would make him feel the same way a girl would. Turns out not lying to yourself is actually pretty easy.
He eases into that giddy feeling and he feels it in his cheeks and his ears, making them warm, in his wrists and his chest, fuzzy. He gets a little dizzy with it as he walks towards Eddie, taking in his ringed hands and messy curls, those big brown eyes that make him feel a bit crazy.
Eddie drops his cigarette to the floor and stomps on it, ash sprinkled on the driveway, he turns to Steve.
“Fancy seeing you here.” He says, kicking off from the van, moving to face him and, god Steve was just absolutely gone for him. He feels a little stupid about it, finds himself more flustered than usual, he’s completely out of his depth here and that’s just as exciting as it is scary.
“Yeah, who woulda thought.” Steve exhales, trying to act casual.
—
Eddie whistles as he passes the threshold, looking around at a house three maybe four times the size of his trailer.
“You ever get lost in here?” He quips, Steve laughs at that and Eddie feels like he’s won something.
“Only when I was kid.”
“You gonna give me a tour then, rich boy?” Eddie jokes, clapping a hand on Steve’s shoulder, he quickly pulls away once he realizes what he’s doing, feeling a bit uneasy. The corner of Steve’s lips twitch upward in a way that is barely noticeable but that Eddie catches anyway. Once again he’s finding Steve Harrington increasingly difficult to read.
Steve shows him the kitchen and the dining room. He walks past the glass panels to the backyard where there’s an impressively sized pool in view but somehow he doesn’t mention it. Eddie chuckles as they pass it.
“I assume pool parties were a big part of King Steve’s reputation huh?” He jokes, genuinely amused by the image of a younger Steve putting together a party just to show off his skills from swim team to girls in bikinis. Trying too hard to seem impressive, shirtless and covered in hair spray. Maybe wearing a pair of sunglasses that he’d pull down his nose just slightly so he could look over them and make eye contact feeling all suave and cool.
Eddie finds that he’s a little irritated that the mental image seems cute to him instead of funny. He even feels something flutter in his chest at the thought of Steve looking at him like that.
The joke falls flat though, something heavy fills the air and Steve gets this far away look of discomfort across his face. Steve just shrugs. It throws Eddie off a bit and he feels like he’s losing some sort of game.
Eventually they head up the stairs and Steve opens the door to his room.
“Oooh Steve Harrington’s bedroom,” Eddie wiggles his eyebrows, moving to fiddle with the stuff on Steve’s dresser.
“Lucky you, not everyone gets the privilege of coming up here.” Steve grins, leaning with one arm up against the door.
“Bet you say that to all the girls, huh Harrington?” Eddie replies, a toothy smile spreading across his face as he bats his eyelashes dramatically.
“Mmm only the pretty ones.” Eddie doesn’t miss how Steve smirks as he says it, looking him up and down. Was this…flirting? The thought makes his stomach flip. There’s this buzzing under his skin that’s telling him to do something, like an itch that needs to be scratched, but he doesn’t. That booming voice in his head reminding him ‘you can never be too careful’. Instead of pushing he stops himself, tucks the moment away for later as to not ruin it.
He turns to smile at Steve as he flops dramatically onto his bed, his back against the mattress. Then he hoists himself back up so that he’s sitting and starts bouncing on it, mostly just to irritate him. Steve laughs and the sound makes Eddie’s chest feel light and airy like his lungs are filled with clouds,
“C’mon man I just made my bed this morning.” He whines but the smile still remains. And of course Steve is the type to have his bed all neat and tidy before leaving the room. Eddie finds he’s not even irritated by how cute he thinks that is because well, it is.
Eddie bounces harder on the bed and then stops.
“Pretty sturdy, would say this is a solid hmmm,” he pauses pretending to think and then bounces on it again, “six out of ten,” he concludes. Steve laughs a bit louder this time, walking over to Eddie.
“Okay” Steve laughs, putting his hands on Eddie’s shoulders to stop him. The contact sends shivers down his spine like crackles of electricity and his chest gets that cloudy feeling again— for his own sake he doesn’t make eye contact with Steve although he can feel him looking at him. Steve lets go, his fingers grazing Eddie’s arms as they fall back to his sides and he moves to sit next him on the bed.
“How’s that score compared to those van cushions then?”
“Well you’re dealing with a highly competitive two out of ten there, narrow win on your part.”
Steve laughs at his joke again. He swears no one sober laughs at his jokes as much as Steve does.
Eddie turns and starts fiddling with the various items on Steve’s nightstand, an old watch, a lighter. He thinks maybe if this was a few years ago he might have tried to swipe those.
Steve flops back onto the bed, facing the ceiling, this time Eddie does look back at him and god he really shouldn’t have.
Steve lying there with his shirt riding up just slightly so his midriff is visible, the little freckles on his neck and jaw on show, he tries not to think to hard about what it would be like to press his lips to each of them— stop it don’t be weird, he thinks. Steve shifts slightly so that he’s looking at him and Eddie realizes he’s been caught staring, the guilt rushes in quickly.
But Steve doesn’t seem disgusted or even phased by it, in fact he seems somewhat amused, his cheeks a bit pinker.
Eddie whips his head back around, not wanting to push his luck, in his rush to turn around his knee kicks open the top drawer of the nightstand, he watches it slide out and means to push it back in when something catches his eye, an old Polaroid photo.
Despite his better judgement he reaches in and pulls it out. It’s definitely old, probably from a couple years ago because Steve’s clearly still in highschool. He’s standing by the public pool with three other guys and a girl. He’s smiling widely and his hair is wet, he’s got a shirt for the Hawkins Swim Team on and it’s slightly damp around the collar from where his hair has dripped onto it.
He looks good, good in a way that has Eddie feeling this weird affection towards him. It’s odd, this is Steve from a few years ago, the one who Eddie had hated despite him being stupidly hot, maybe hated him a little more because of that too.
Steve from ‘86 interrupts his train of thought about the elusive Steve of ‘83 as he sits up and looks at the photo Eddie’s holding.
“Snooping are we?” Steve chuckles, Eddie shrugs, trying to feign disinterest,
“Just looking around.” He hands the photo to Steve who huffs a laugh as he takes it.
“This’s from a few years ago,” he starts, he takes a breath and something about it feels heavy,
“I don’t know why I keep it here, it’s stupid I just… it‘s kinda the last photo I have before things went to shit I-“ he huffs a breath,
“I don’t really like swimming anymore.” He chuckles, even though it isn’t funny.
“A lot has changed.” Eddie says, trying to show he empathizes.
“Yeah,” Steve breathes a laugh, “yeah, I mean, if I told myself from then that in a few years I’d be here talking to Eddie the freak…” he points at the photo as he says it. It’s meant to be funny but instead Eddie finds he feels a bit sick, hearing that nickname again.
He realizes who else is in the photo Steve’s pointing at.
Tommy H and Carol and a couple of their friends. He remembers that year, being called all sorts of names by Tommy, his girlfriend and his pack of rich kids laughed along. As Steve laughed along. He feels his chest tighten at the memory.
And there were words much worse than freak, words like ‘faggot’, and ‘perv’, Steve was there, he would have been there, laughing along or saying nothing.
It hits Eddie then that this Steve sitting right next to him is the same Steve from back then. ‘Stupid, stupid, look what happens when you don’t run and hide.’ He feels trapped and scared, like some sort of wild animal.
Eddie pushes off of the bed and leans against the wall trying to put more distance between himself and Steve, not just physically. He’s suddenly hit with this feeling of hurt and rejection and he can’t handle the way it twists inside him. So he does what he always does when he feels small. He performs, and he gets mean.
“I’m sure your loyal subjects would find that shocking.” Eddie goads, nodding towards the photo in Steve’s hands. He looks confused and Eddie wonders briefly if Steve has any idea about the switch that’s just been flipped in his head.
“Oh- well I mean, I haven’t been on good terms with them in years so…,” he places the photo back in the drawer.
“Highschool was…different, it was hard back then, I uh, I kinda hated it actually.” Steve chuckles awkwardly and god that’s fucking rich coming from him.
Eddie’s jaw clenches as he says it because, really what did Steve Harrington have to be so upset about at fucking highschool?
Everyone worshipped him, he was rich and popular, no one treated him like some sort of sub-human leech on the education system like they did Eddie.
Steve Harrington fails a test and it’s all extra classes and extra credit, bumping up his grades or extending the due date.
Eddie Munson fails a test and well, that’s just par for the fucking course isn’t it? Who would give a shit about how hard he tried? He was always gonna end up a deadbeat or a criminal, just like his father.
“Oh yeah? And why so glum oh King Steve, Sword of Damocles getting you down?” Eddie drawls sarcastically.
“I uh- what?” Steve laughs awkwardly, clearly missing the reference.
Something about it fires him up a little more, feeling intelligent is a high Eddie chases often. Maybe it’s to prove to himself he’s more than what his teachers saw of him. Maybe it’s to prove to others that he’s worth the effort.
“Oh come on Stevie,” he croons, “are you not but a humble servant for the people? What could you possibly find soooo unsatisfactory about your little kingdom?” He asks gesturing wildly with his arms.
Steve frowns and Eddie expects, wishes, for him to be angry but he’s not. His eyes shine with something more kind than Eddie wants to see. Too much, don’t give me hope.
“It wasn’t like that, man,” Steve starts, he seems unsure of himself in a way Eddie’s never seen before, “the whole…’King Steve’ thing I mean, no one really believed that.” Eddie scoffs and rolls his eyes,
“Oh come on Harrington, I might not have graduated but I’m not that stupid.” Steve’s frown deepens and Eddie hates how pretty he is when he does that. Hates it because that glimmer of hope is fading quickly and he feels as though Steve would kick him straight back to his van if he knew what Eddie was thinking.
It makes him angry, knowing that even now after everything he’s still feeling inferior to someone like him.
“Steve Harrington and his fucking lackeys, do you even remember the shit you used to call us?” Steve just stares at him, his jaw clenched. He opens his mouth to speak but Eddie cuts him off, the insatiable need to keep pushing and pushing overtaking him.
“Y’know I remember you from back then” he smiles darkly, anger bubbling up and pushing down every rational thought he has.
“I remember Tommy H tripping me in the hallway while you laughed.” He dares, his need to prove to himself he’s not that same scared little kid overtakes his instinct to hide from a fight.
“I don’t-“ Steve begins.
“Don’t what? Don’t remember?” Eddie snaps.
“‘Course you don’t, I suppose you don’t remember him calling me a fag when I tricked him into paying double for the weed for your party do you? I Bet you don’t remember laughing at that either.”
Steve does remember, he can tell by the way his eyes widen in recognition and how he looks down at the floor. He knows that he remembers all of it.
Eddie leaves out the fact that afterwards Tommy tried to hit him. Steve had pulled him back and stuttered out a “It’s not worth the trouble man, he’s just some queer.”
Despite the sting of those words Eddie remembers thinking Steve was nothing more than a pathetic try-hard that day. All high and mighty, popular Mr Harrington, what a fucking joke, he thought. He was no king, he was just a stupid boy trying his hardest to impress his stupid friends, parroting their behavior and running away from the fight.
“Why would you? After all I was just another queer to mess with huh, Harrington?”
—
Steve feels his stomach lurch with guilt as the memory greets him, it felt like a lifetime ago, so insignificant that it hadn’t crossed his mind until now.
Somehow that makes Steve feel even worse. He looks up at Eddie now, standing over him like a hunter looking down a shotgun.
He’s won whatever battle he thinks he’s started.
“Eddie I-“ he doesn’t really know what he’s going to say, what could possibly tip the scales back into balance?
“I’m sorry..” is all he can get out. The harshness of Eddie’s gaze cracks just a little.
“You don’t know…all of it, though” he begins, Eddie raises an eyebrow
“I hated those guys, I-“ Eddie scoffs at him and opens his mouth to speak but Steve cuts him off this time.
“Just let me finish, man.” He pleads, frustrated, looking him in the eyes while his hands shake.
Something in Eddie’s demeanor shifts and he relaxes back against the wall, motioning for him to continue.
“I hated them but I don’t know. We’d been friends since we were kids, it- it was easy to just…” he trails off unsure of how to say it all.
None of it is a lie, he did hate Tommy H, Carol too, but it was complicated. It’s not like it all just changes overnight. For a long time Tommy was almost like a brother to him. Knowing someone for that long, it’s hard to see them as a person and not just an amalgamation of every good memory you shared with them.
Resentment grows over time, pubertychanges people, people change people. And Tommy changed, or maybe Steve did, sometimes he’s not sure. He just knows that one day he looked at Tommy and instead he saw every bad thing he’d ever done, every fight he’d enabled, every harsh word he’d ignored, he just felt sick. That’s when that hatred formed in his stomach, like a stone thrown into a pond, it was this sinking feeling and suddenly he just couldn’t look at him anymore.
“It was easy to just play along yknow? Act like them because I… I hated myself too.” He feels embarrassed, for who he was all those years ago but also for who he is now. He can barely even explain himself.
“I’m sorry, for all of it, even the stuff I don’t remember,” his throat tightens as he says it and he’s sure it can be heard in his voice.
He looks at Eddie and just the eye contact alone is enough to make his stomach start doing somersaults. He’s frowning, not in anger, to Steve’s relief, it’s more sympathetic, confused maybe and that’s all he needs.
“I uh, I think we’re a lot more alike than you think.” Steve smiles awkwardly at him, he hopes Eddie picks up on what he’s trying to imply, if only just so that he doesn’t have to feel the anxiety around saying it.
Eddie raises an eyebrow at him when he doesn’t explain further.
“You gonna elaborate on that or is this a three guesses kinda situation?”
Steve finds it harder to get the courage to say it the second time. Maybe it’s because it’s Eddie, maybe it’s because this time he’s not saying it just to prove it to himself. He knows now and maybe that’s a little more exciting but it’s also a bit terrifying. Eddie laughs lightly as he watches Steve stutter a little in anticipation as he struggles to find the right words.
“I’m uh, I’m like you…and Robin.” He cringes as he says it. God he sounds stupid, Eddie thinks he’s stupid, what is he doing? Eddie shuffles and looks Steve up and down, putting the puzzle pieces together.
“In…what way?” He asks cautiously.
“Like…” The words get stuck in his throat and he ends up gesturing with his hands, a strangled sort of noise coming from his throat. Fuck he feels like a coward, this is a kind of bravery Steve finds hardest to conjure, vulnerability, being true to himself.
“Steve…” he looks at him then, all big kind eyes and it hits Steve like a punch to the face that this is definitely much more than a crush, god he really didn’t need another revelation right now.
“Are you uh, you tryna come out to me or something?” Eddie asks, all seriousness but with an awkward breathy laugh at the end.
“Yeah, fuck,” Steve sighs in relief, leaning down and running his hands through his hair.
“I’m bisexual.” Eddie just stares at him
“It means tha-“
“I know what it means, Steve.” He laughs, moves to sit next to him on the bed.
“Okay.” He exhales, smiles at him.
A frown twitches on Eddie’s brow, like he’s thinking too hard.
“You uh, you known that for a while or..?” Eddie asks awkwardly, eyes darting around Steve’s face like he’s trying to decide something.
Steve laughs. “Yeah like a week.”
He thinks this might be the most awkward he’s ever seen Eddie, it’s kind of amusing.
—
Eddie feels like he’s dreaming. Steve being into guys, it makes sense in the way that nothing about Steve makes sense. Eddie finds that he kind of loves that.
“Wow… what uh, what made you realize, I mean like, question…things?” He stutters out.
Steve turns bright red when he asks the question. It’s amusing and kind of a power trip to know he’s made Steve Harrington blush. If he wasn’t curious before he definitely is now.
“Well, it was a lot of things but,” he clears his throat awkwardly “uh that guy from the band you like? He was on MTV and…”
He chuckles, “I like a lot of bands, Harrington.”
“Y’know, Metallica… the guy with the guitar and the-“ he gestures by his head, flexing his fingers and moving his hands in circles to motion that his hair was curly.
“KIRK HAMMET?!” He shouts, comically loud in the otherwise quiet room.
Steve laughs at him in genuine amusement, nodding his head.
Shit, if that wasn’t an ego boost…
“You like the music?”
Steve shrugs, “Yeah it was alright.”
Eddie jolts in surprise as if he’s been given a small electric shock. “Alright?! Just Alright?!Dude it’s Metallica!”
“I don’t know man! It wasn’t bad, I’ve just heard better.”
“Heard bet- Christ Harrington,” he sighs dramatically. “I don’t know if I like you anymore.” Eddie squints over at him.
For some reason this catches Steve off-guard. He grins, “You- you like me?” He says.
“Not anymore.”
Steve laughs and his eyes seem brighter than before. He turns to him, places a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, sending that crackle of lightning down his arm at the touch.
“So… are we like, cool?” He asks, all sincere and wide-eyed.
“Yeah man,” he can’t bring himself to feel embarrassed, well he does a little, but why should he be, when Steve’s looking at him like that.
“Yeah, I’m uh, sorry for snapping at you I mean I-“
“Hey no, it’s ok.” Steve cuts him off, squeezing his shoulder a little.
Eddie smiles at him because god how could he not?
“As much as I’m grateful for the uh, thorough tour of the Harrington manor I am still very sleep deprived.” He grins, that slyconfidence falling back into place despite how much his heart is pounding.
“Yeah sure, lemme uh,” Steve stands and shows Eddie to the bathroom where he changes into his pajamas. An old Iron Maiden t-shirt and a pair of shorts that cut off just above the knee. He brushes his teeth and splashes some cold water on his warm face.
Steve’s already changed when Eddie returns to his bedroom, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a baseball tee that’s much too short, leaving about an inch scarred flesh visible.
Eddie shivers at the sight, tearing his eyes away, knowing he has scars to match.
“Yknow uh…you can sleep in here if you want,” Steve says, he looks at Eddie, appearing to be toeing the line of confident and shy, “in case you don’t wanna be alone I mean.”
Eddie just stares for a second and God, here he goes, Steve’s kindness knocking him off his feet again
He really doesn’t want to be alone, he thinks maybe Steve doesn’t want to either.
He wonders if Steve ever had nights where he’d wake up shaking or find he’d been crying in his sleep. If he ever lay awake for hours trying to push down that bubbling guilt and that sickening fear like Eddie did. He hoped not.
“Thanks” Eddie smiles.
It’s a little awkward at first, getting into a bed with Steve Harrington, but once he’s lying there it just feels normal. He smiles into his pillow. Spending nights hopping my between Robin and Steve’s houses has Eddie feeling like he might be starting to belong somewhere.