Chapter 11
Rufus
6:00 PM:
I’m sitting on the couch with Matero- my boyfriend, asleep on my lap. I’m siting here thinking, and its fucking surreal. I feel like I’m on cloud 9. No drug, woman, or game has EVER made me feel like this. Not even Amy. Hah.
I run my fingers through his hair and smile. I feel like I should be upset about what happened yesterday, but I’m honestly kind of grateful. If I didn’t get the call, I wouldn’t have met him.
Is it too early to say I’m in love with him? I know we like, said it last night, but that’s when we were dying, yo. We thought we’d never get the chance- no, the time to do it normally.
Still love him, though.
I think that what’s different with him than Amy is that Amy and I had a very.. teenage relationship. We just hung out, made out, all that stuff. I know she cared about me, but she didn't care about me enough to jump in front of a gun for me, which Mateo literally did.
Now that I think about it, she put me in the situation with the gun. But I digress. Mateo didn’t want me to die, so he almost died himself. No one has ever cared for me that much. It may be selfish, but at the end of the day, I’d die for him too. Almost did.
Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t even realize that I was now stroking Mateo’s hair. I almost pull away from embarrassment, but then I remember three things:
We have kissed. We are literally dating.
He’s asleep
He probably enjoys this.
So, I keep going. He turns over on his side, which scares me, since I thought I woke him up. I didn’t though! He’s still fast asleep. Today was a long day for him. I met his dad today, he immediately knew what we were.
God, that makes it sound so grotesque. “What we are” damn. His dad supported us, I don’t know why it came out that way.
I need sleep, too.
I close my eyes and fall asleep with Mateo still sleeping on my lap.
Rufus
8:35 P.M:
I wake up from my nap, stretching out my arms to wrap them around Mateo. When I try to reach for him, he isn’t there.
My instincts from yesterday are still kicking, so, I respond to this with dear. I immediately get up and search for Mateo, praying that he’s okay.
“Teo? Where are you?” I call for him.
“Just my room! I’m cleaning up the books that I threw all over the place yesterday.” Thankfully, he responds.
Phew.
“Need some help?” I walk into his room and pick up a book from off of the floor.
“Yes, Please.” He sighed.
He places his books back onto his bookshelf, turning to me afterwards. He grins, leaning in and kissing me. I can’t help but smile into the kiss.
“Good morning.” He pulls back, picking up more books.
“It is 8 P.M, Teo.”
“Yeah, well, we both just woke up, so.” He shrugs.
“I know, I know. Wanna know somethin’ stupid?” I ask, chuckling.
“Go ahead, it can’t be worse than everything else we’ve talked about.” He smirks.
I roll my eyes. “Okay, it is. I woke up and didn’t see you, so I got worried. Isn’t that dumb?”
He shakes his head at me. “Not at all, Roof. I’m scared too. Yesterday was traumatizing, it’s gonna be there for a while, but-”
“Buuuuuuuut?”
“But it’s sweet that you came looking for me anyway. Just like a cat with separation anxiety, crying my name!” He started to laugh.
“OH SHUT IT! I pour my heart out to you and all you do is tease me for it!” I shove him in the arm with my elbow.
“Because it’s funny!”
“Screw you!”
He just laughed in response, putting the last of his books back on the shelf.
See? This is what I mean. Even though he’s teasing me, he cares about how I feel. He even validated it, too. I seriously wonder how this man was single his whole life.
“Ah, shit.” I mumble.
“Hm?”
“I just realized that we’re gonna be up super late since we took a nap.”
“Okay, and? We could just chill all night. I don’t mind hanging out with you.. Unless you wanna go back to the Plutos, which I get!”
“Nah, I wanna stay here with you. I can see them tomorrow. Is that okay?” I watch as his face grows slightly red, JUST because I said I wanna stay with him.
“Of course it is! Not to be selfish, but I was hoping you’d say yes.”
“I know.” I tease him.
‘Oh my gosh, shut up.”
“I’m good.”
“Of course you are.”
We sit in silence for a second, looking at each other. Not long after, we both start laughing like a couple of little boys. At some point, even though it was already unclear what we were laughing at, it somehow became harder to figure out.
“You’re so annoying.” Mateo says in between laughter.
“That sucks for you.”
“Sure does.”
Another laughing fit comes from the both of us. Is this what hysteria feels like? I mean, we could very well be going crazy. I guess that’s okay, if we’re both going crazy, then neither of us have to realize it. We can live in ignorant bliss.
Kidding.
I don’t know about him, but I’m just fucking happy to be alive.