Feels
Janet’s POV:
It has been about 3 months since that fateful dinner where not just one but two sets of friends announced their pregnancy to us. I was so happy for them but still sad for Hank and I. I am sitting in the kitchen early one morning with Clint, Steve and Natasha. I was eating a piece of toast even though I wasn’t feeling good. Natasha and I held a casual conversation until Bobbi comes running in wearing tanktop and shorts.
“Clint!” She smiles and hugs him tightly and we halt our conversation.
“Why are you so excited this morning?” Clint asks laughing and she quickly pulls her top up uncovering her stomach.
“Its there!” It took a minute but we all soon noticed the small swell of her stomach. Clint gets down in front of her rubbing the stomach and I see Steve look to Natasha and I quickly excuse myself.
I run to my apartment and quickly lock myself in the bathroom and start a shower. I slide in before I let myself cry for a bit as I rush through my shower. I wish that was Hank and I, I wish I was that excited with something like that. I dress myself slowly and dry my hair grabbing a hat to cover my short hair. I grab my bag and phone before taking the stairs down to grab Hank.
We have an appointment with my gynecologist who ran some test and finally got the results back on why I am not conceiving. Hank was downstairs standing behind Tony as they discuss their next experiment in possibly using the particles to allow the Iron Man suit to be easier to hide in a watch.
“Is it time already?” Hank asks as he removes his glasses and coat.
I nod and he walks to me as Tony calls out, “Good Luck you two!”
It doesn't take us long to reach our doctor and be seated in a waiting room. Hank rambles on about some new ideas and I nod along even though my mind is preoccupied.
“Mr. and Mrs. Pym?” I jump up and pull him up to quickly follow the nurse to Dr, Jenkins office. Dr. Jenkins is a highly recommended gynecologist with SHIELD even with her young age. She looks younger than me with her hair down to her shoulders and smooth skin.
She smiles and motions for us both to sit as she reclaims her chair and starts to flip through some papers. “Okay so Mr. and Mrs. Pym, we ran test on both of you and I am pleased to announce that Mr. Pym seems perfectly healthy.”
She hands us both a copy of his charts. “Mrs. Pym, you on the other hand, well your eggs are not fertile enough to allow a child to form and if a child does form it will be an unhealthy pregnancy because it will most likely stop in the fallopian tubes.”
I bite my lip, So it is all my fault. “What can we do?”
Hank’s POV:
Janet and I have a few options to think over for the next few weeks.
The first would be Surrogacy, which we will pay someone else to carry our child. I know this would be to hard on Janet so I highly doubt we would go with that one. Janet was raised to be a mother, and she really wants to carry the child herself for 9 months.
Option 2 would be adoption, which I guess could work for most people. The problem in Janet and my case is that we are superheros and a child we adopt would most likely be powerless. Meaning it would be defenseless and neither of us could risk an Innocent child.
Option 3, will take a lot of time. We would have to put Janet through fertility treatments for nearly a year and then remove her eggs to fertilize them before placing them back inside the uterus. This on the first attempt might not work so we might have to try it a few times.
Janet has been silent since we got back to the apartment so I fixed her some tea before I headed out to the lab to help Tony.
I drag myself back in and grab my glasses. “What happened Hank, you aren’t looking to good.” Tony calls across the room.
I move closer to him and take a look at the diagram in front of him, “We might need to change this intake system with a different one. It will improve the device overall.”
Tony covers up the diagram, “Spill it Hank.”
I pull up a chair and run my fingers through my hair. “Janet and I can’t have a baby without some form of help. It could take years and Janet is really beating herself up over it.”
Tony stands up and brings back to tumblers and a bottle of scotch. He poured us both some, “So basically you blew your one shot at a baby to save us?”
I shrug, “I don’t know, she may have lost it eventually on her own.”
Tony drinks one glass sliding another towards me before having another himself. “Look I am sorry, maybe I can put forth some money for doctors to do more research. I really want you to be happy man, it is painful to watch you and Janet be in so much pain.”
I sigh and take a sip and winces as it burns all the way down my throat. “How about you and Janet take a vacation for as long as you want, we can hold down the fort here.” Tony offers.
I stand up and pace, “We really can’t do that to you guys Tony, Janet and I are Avengers now and we can’t just up and leave.”
Natasha’s POV:
I have started noticing how everyone’s attitudes have changed since the thought of babies have came about. Some are extremely happy like both set of parents, others are a bit longing. I mean they seem to can’t wait for children. The longing ones happen to be Steve, Janet and Hank, two of which have been having troubles and then one that doesn’t even have a shot.
This morning when Bobbi bombarded us in the kitchen, I noticed the look Steve gave me and also the fact that Janet left as quick as possible. Steve and I have been working in quiet all day waiting for our mission that we leave for tomorrow afternoon. I can feel the tension between us but I know we stand no chance in approaching this topic. We have talked about what we want in life and I realize that we are on opposite sides of the line here.
He wants a marriage and family, to settle down and play baseball in the yard with future children and grandchildren. I want to fight and clear out the red in my ledger, I am fine with living on the helicarrier working for the rest of my possibly short life. He has been kind of distant lately and I have decided to put my mind towards something else.
That is how I found myself in the elevator on my way down to check on a distraught Janet. I did not even bother to knock so I snuck into their apartment and eventually the master bedroom. I noticed her curled up on the bed laying completely still so I take a seat near her feet and pat her leg.
Janet turns and wipes her face, “Natasha?”
I smile a little, “Yeah, I know shocking right. I came to check on you, out of everyone in this tower, I can understand you the most.”
Janet sits up in the bed and grabs more tissues, “What does that mean?”
I sigh, “Well we both are with the most amazing men. Hank and Steve are nearly perfect, and then you have two spunky, out of control women.”
She chuckles a little, “Yeah but so is Betty, and honestly I am closer to her league than yours.”
I shake my head, “I heard the news Janet, so I came to talk it out.”
“Oh.”
“I guess you can say that I suddenly feel the same way as you,” I look up at her. “I finally considered having children, with this amazing person, who I truly do not deserve. I mean I finally go, yeah I bet a little blonde baby would be adorable. But then I think, Red Room made me sterile. I still have all the equipment in there it's just all dried up since my birth date in the late 19th century.” I try to laugh but I notice she is frowning.
I stand up and pace a little, this is the hardest mission I have ever had. I take a deep breath. “I was once considered royalty, until my family, the Romanovs of Russia were slaughtered and I was taken away. Since then I grew up, in a century where A woman’s job was to be a mother. Over the years I met women who, because of their infertility, often turned to horrible jobs because men wouldn’t take them.” I take a seat again. “What I am saying is I know that as a woman you think this is important and you want to experience it.”
She nods. “Yeah, I want to get a shot at what all my friends have told me about.”
I nod this time, “Well this is not the end of the world, there are options for you Janet. So don’t let something like this get you down even if Bobbi and Sif are right there flaunting it in your face. Though they do not realize it. Anyways, I am going to go I really need to talk to Steve and fix all of our issues.”
Janet moves quicker than most of my enemies and tackles me in a hug. “Thank you Natasha.”
After a while I manage to get her to let me free and I head up to face the biggest challenge yet.