Chapter 1
1
There could be so many bad lucks for having a baby. Yet Sharon would had never expected hers would be the worst. She wished she would have known the fate clawing in ahead of time, so she could not have had a baby at all. Her baby, her only child named Charles.
Charles is not human, Sharon moaned. She used to sob until her body collapsed and passed out for the whole day as when she had knew what Charles could do and destroy her. But then she only moaned for passing such an affliction. Charles, Sharon thought, was not meant to be fixed. Her motherhood became the first thing that stopped acting out to protect the baby. Even though Sharon wanted to love her own child, her instinct resisted it.
Charles is not human, she repeated to herself when her decision was made. How could he be when he could do all those things? Her fingers were shaking; her shoulder blades couching down and her hair ragged out. She was going insane if she started to have a bond with him as a son and realized who he is or what he is. She could no longer face her mischance. Sharon made a move to the bed where the baby Charles was there. She took a last glimpse of him, just a quick glance to see his blue eyes, staring at her.
Now, it was about to be done. I will not regret what I’m doing. She thought, as slowly as she could with her trembling hands, holding her baby for one last time.
All was fading into the white blank vacuum.
2
Charles had known something wrong inside of him since he opened his eyes for the first time to welcome the world outside his mother’s womb. He remembered all those details; blood, screams, the hands snatching him out of the goring string tied his body with his mother, and another scream.The coming after is different; talking, as Charles recalled, and then sobbing for a long time, probably a few days. Later, all he knew was silence.
His memories were rewinding in his head like short scenes from time to time. Since he was a child, he did not knew how it mean when his mother, at the last time him memorizing her, touched his face. Then Charles learned that it means she abandoned him by touching him to wipe out all memories about her mistaken child. It was one and only thing he could do to fulfill her wish and he can. He can always wipe out all memories from other people.
It was something wrong with him. Besides his ability to read their mind, he can steal a person’s memories. At once, all becoming that person was gone forever, leaving only a body shell with an empty soul.
It was beyond his control. Charles knew more about his power when he was four. A woman called herself a baby sister named Jane tried to touch him for the first time. She had a bright smile, freshly graduated from a college with a Child Psychology degree. Her first job was to observe and babysit a child from a rich family. Jane was being happy when she got her sum from the butler without knowing about Charles's monstrous ability. She brought him to take a bath, carrying him over his shoulder, singing a lullaby as no other maids never did.
But when her shift was over, she couldn’t remember how to get home. Jane burst out into tears while telling the butler why she didn’t leave the house even her working hours are over. She was stranded in the stairs because she also forgot where the front gate was.
The following day, without being aware of what happened, Jane came back. She counted the day before as her stupidity, a huge embarrassment for the first day at work ; she blushed when she said that to the butler who can be ignorant as his mother’s money told him to be. Jane came to his room with a cheerful smile and hugged him. “How was your day, little Charlie”, she always called him like that until her last day. Charles absorbed her another piece of memories and said nothing. Piece by piece, Charles was getting to know her from the inside while Jane in her last day could not remember him at all. He continued stealing her memories until the last time. Charles remembered Jane’s face was blank. She was watching him but did not acknowledge his existence at all. The butler told the driver to send her home. Jane’s body was moving as the butler told after that, Charles never saw her again. Jane’s incident was forgotten long ago for most of people in the house. It was just Charles who remembered her and knew her as a person who always has a bright smile and a kind heart as a babysitter could be.
Charles learned from Jane's demise that it took his mother around a month to completely forget about him as Jane did. But Sharon intentionally delete her memories since he knew what her son is. She wrote a will, prescribed by her personal doctor to announce her Alzheimer’s disease as she bribed him and leave Charles with a great deal of fortune. Charles was under for her new husband's parental guardian, Kurt; who knew a little of Charles but knew enough to consider him as a monster. Kurt always kept Charles in his old father’s room and hired a teachers to homeschool him, feeding him from time to time but rarely looking at him or seeing him as a family member. Charles remained a ghost, only let alive only by the inheritance law.
3
His childhood was clouded by his captive. He spent those years surrounded by books. Reading was the only trustworthy companion whom Charles could not steal anything from. He read and memorized all those knowledge and became mastery of all knowledge recorded in all those books. He learned that the person whose ability was reading the other’s mind, mythically called the telepath.
Still, stealing another’s memories are not included as a telepath’s ability. It was never mentioned, but Charles could come up with a reason so easy like he always had the answer with him for so long. It was not a special ability but an unbearable curse. Destroying a person from the inside was not cool for a telepath. Their ability should not be such a disturbance like his.
Still, Charles called himself a telepath, because at least he can identify to something not the monster as he actually was. I’m a telepath. He repeated to himself, smiling coyly.
“I’m Charles, Charles Xavier.” He said his name when he met a girl in a stunning blue form. “I thought I could be the only one in the world, you know, different.”
She was smiling at him, a real smile like Jane always did. “Raven,” she responded to him.
Charles did not want to make a mistake because he did want to be friend with a girl. For he told her about his ability, as he knew later as his mutation. Raven gets confused, her smile fading. Before Charles would fear she will be leaving him, Raven’s youngish face was replaced by determination, focusing on what she would said.
“I won’t let you touch me, unless you read my mind without my permission,” She told him stiffly, “then I will go and kick you, so I can forget about you reading my mind and become friends again.”
It was Charles’s smile that is brighter than hers.
Charles bargained his one of his third left fortune with letting Raven live with him. No one believed she would last for one week but Raven managed to be by his side. She was playing her doll and papers with him in the misty room in a blond haired girl form she told him she always used to disguise. With her presence, Charles became more relaxed and alive. He had someone to tell the stories to, sharing his eagerness on genetics and mutation, as he continued studying more. Raven wore a boring expression when he rambled on her, but it could only made Charles love her more.
“Next time you have to tell me about Beauty and the Beast,” Raven pouted.“I can’t stand your nerdy mode anymore.”
Raven always wanted to hear about fairy tales, especially the story of a girl falling in love with a deformed beast. Charles would always patiently told her, “the tale isn’t real, Raven. Science is real. They are facts and can be looked forward to improvement. We can use science to fix many things in our life when the fairy tales can’t.”
“But it makes me happy!” Raven retorted, tossing her doll on Charles’ face. “At least I am happy that Belle did not want Beast to change into another person. She wants him as who he is and I think it is the most romantic story I’d love to hear.”
Charles sighed. He knew he would spoil her but eventually told her a story one more time. Raven smiled at her triumph.
Yet, Charles would seek for a chance to tell her about his made up theories about the people like them; mutants. He was always fascinated of day by day during hearing the news about them and Raven started to yawn and curl herself up on the couch nearby him, pretending to sleep.
“They were everywhere and needed help, Raven. They need to have friends and don’t want to be alone.” He whispered to her as sitting on the floor, closing his genetics book, smiling when he saw her her breath taking in and out her blue form with a whimper.
4
Years passed, the mutants become more and more noticeable. They are everywhere as Charles predicted and more actively presented. At first most people were terrified. Without knowledge about mutants, humans always feared of what they did not know. People blamed mutants for all chaos they made to get a right to be a citizen or even a rightful human. Charles usually heard Kurt scolding at the TV outside his room when a group of mutants officially announced their rights after a hundred times of protests.
“Those cockroaches,” Kurt scorned and spit on the TV. “After this time the world will be madness. No peace will be with us if those still exist.”
Charles winced during the eavesdropping. His mind was overwhelmed by Kurt’s hatred towards mutants. Charles was shaken by the thought that his stepfather would consider his peculiar mentality as a mutation. While Charles’s mind was full of plans for accusations, ready to defend himself, Raven’s body was stiffen beside him. She definitely heard what Kurt said and changed her appearance to her original blue form, naked. Her yellow eyes were glaring at the door as if she could see Kurt through the invisible door.
“One day, Charles,” her voice was strong and threatening as Charles never heard of before. “One day I will strangle him with these blue hands, making him plead for forgiveness for those insults.”
Her determination makes Charles shiver. He did not dare to say anything to her.
After the announcement, Charles never knew his life would change forever. He began to acknowledge the change through Raven first. She became more often in her blue form with him than her pretty blond appearance as she was young. She even walked in the living room once, making Cain, Kurt’s son, scream in fright. “Get this fucking monster out of my house!”
Raven only smiled fiercely at Cain. Charles sensed the fear from Cain rather than being a cocky as the asshole usually was. He knew Cain would not dare to harm Raven not because of her appearance but her anger towards him.
“I just want you to know that I will not hide myself from you or the other humans anymore.” Raven made a clear voice. “You and Kurt will never hurt Charles and me again otherwise…” She left the unfinished sentence hanging in the air. Cain’s face was twitched with horror like he was facing the ghost.
Since then, Charles was allowed to be outside the room. Even though he was grateful to Raven, he wasn’t happy about it. The mutants are more in the public due to the news. Their announcement for human rights broke through as the phenomenon. Their movements were recorded as the breakout in human history. Charles knew later on that their success was based on the U.S. government support during the cold war. Craving for legendary like Lincoln, the president at that time allowed mutants to have their rights as Lincoln dismissed all Black slavery for politics. The U.S. wanted to look more credible among the UN, so the government can accuse The Soviet Union about dismissing the mutants instead.
As shallow as it sounded, mutant’s political rights also gave Charles a right to study in schools. The application form was sent to his house from many institutions that wanted to take a big credit for accepting mutants as the first place. With his knowledge, Charles could pass through and went on studying at the university at 16 but He still insisted on studying all these new things at home against Raven’s protest.
“You should go to see people, Charles! You can’t live in the dump hole until you die!”
Charles tried not to be angry with her. “It is not about being a mutant. It’s about my conditions-”
“Your mutation should not matter anymore! The mutants are allowed to be on their own and live! What you're doing is taking your chance for granted-”
“Don’t you forget Jane’s misfortune? I saw her losing herself without help. What about my mother? I don’t want to risk anything and it has nothing to do with mutants. No one has mutation like mine.”
He was on the brink of crying, he knew with Raven he could barely hide his weakness.
“I can’t even control myself not to destroy people’s lives. Even your appearance is more acceptable than being a monster like me.”
Raven’s nose flared. Her yellow eyes are widened with frustration. She was close to cry like him, emotions dancing through her face. For all Charles had knew her, Raven rarely cried.
“You are a coward.” She screamed. “Who the hell once said all mutants shouldn't be alone? I remembered you told me yourself, Charles. Now you are jealous of my mutation because you used to think my hideous look'd better hide as your stinky nut. ”
This is getting worse. Charles told himself. Raven was still looking for his explanation, but he couldn’t bring any accusation to justify himself. God knows how he can fix this. After that Raven stormed out of the room, leaving him sitting with tears on his face.
5
Raven sneaked into his room while Charles was sleeping on the bed. She sat quietly on his bed, breathing fast. Charles became aware of her presence because Raven’s tangled mind, overwhelmed by emotions even though he did not read it. She was crying beside him.
“I’m sorry,” Her voice was trembling and worse than the afternoon. Raven touched his blanket, not knowing Charles was already awake. It was not a direct physical touching. She whispered, “I wish you could delete our fighting from my memories but I know it wouldn’t be fair for you to bear it alone.”
Charles wanted to stop the tears from coming back again but he couldn’t. He let them dropping on his pillow in the darkness.
“I just, I know it was so stupid,” Raven continued, “I just wanted you to come with me, Charles. Get out of this house and never come back again. I got accepted from a school in New York and I really wanted you to live with me. I can’t live without you and you always know that.”
She did not hold back her tears anymore. Raven was sobbing now. “I want us being together against all the bad things in the world and I wanted to hug you so bad. You are only my family and I know it is stupid because it means rejecting of who you are. I always fear that if I said I wanted to hug you when you feel sad will make you sadder. I’m so stupid, Charles. I don’t know what to do but I care about you so so much.”
Raven was not good with words but she was in the worst when she was crying. Charles dared not to even move but he felt her warmth around him when she bent her body to snuggle him above the blanket. Strangely, it was the first time close to a hug Charles could get from the person he loved the most.
The hug lasted for so long until Charles thought Raven already fell asleep over him. He was sweating because the tight of blanket covered his body but he feared to move away. Suddenly, the weight on his bed shifted away. He heard Raven moved around his bed, doing something he couldn’t see. Only Charles could do was closing his eyes, pretending it was a dream.
He woke up in the morning and Raven was gone. The note is left with her childish handwriting; I love you Charles, and I will come back. without any address for Charles to find her.
6.
Charles expected Raven’s missing would cause him a breakdown but it didn’t. Even though he had feel distraught, something in Raven made him get by. The night when she came to see him had left something started to ignite from the inside. They both made a decision for themselves. Charles was not ready to explore the world so as Raven can’t keep herself in shell any longer when opportunity awaits. She was always a strong person whom Charles trust, and he trusted her to guide him to find a new path as well.
He graduated from university at 17, the youngest with Genetics degree. He continued studying more about psychology and mutants affairs as his double master degrees. It was the only time his curse is his benefits. Charles could memorize every detail and achieved at the highest rank at the top among the scholars. He studied at home by explaining his inevitable conditions through the letter even he knew it actually came from his fear to face the reality, as Raven always said. He got a confidential life from other people but also tried kept in touch with the outside. He interacted with the others via letters and started writing a few articles about mutants and politics on a prestigeous magazine called X-genes with a pseudo name; Professor X about how mutants still have been treated unfair and prejudiced even after the legitimacy.
It was in the Spring 1974, when Charles was twenty two years old and left the house for the first time his life. He saved up money from his book sales; Genetics and Mutations, at the same time finished his PH.D in mutation and genetics specialty without using any dollar from Sharon’s fortune. Charles was determined to leave his past behind and started a new life in the apartment in New York. At that time he got offered a job to use his ability, not only his telepath, but his curse he mentioned once to the agency.
It was not the lecturer in the university people would expect a PH.D. graduate to do with their degree. It was about counseling. A private firm offered him with a high salary and welfare to be their special counselor, dealing with PTSD people whether to wipe out their traumatic memories, getting their lives go on.
It was peculiar as it could be but Charles accepted that position. Even he did not know how to really interact with people. He always knew them from textbooks, people’s mind is more handling and and less problematic but he was not certain about how the real people could be.
Charles thought about Raven and her favorite tale. Finally the beast started to follow what Belle told him to do; taking a risk and living a life.
Now he was about to do so.