Chapter 1
When he had first come through the portal and taken control of the mortal’s minds and bodies to serve him while he took over their world, Loki had thought it would be easy. By the third day he was beginning to question the decision to do so.
Initially it had been simple; the two mortals who had survived the escape from the underground compound; the sniper and the scientist, had obediently done as asked. The sniper found them a secure location to hide out in whilst the scientist began working on the Tesseract. Unfortunately Loki knew that he would need many more people for his goal to succeed. Telling the sniper to find him mortals who weren’t fond of SHIELD was one of his better plans; the man had immediately sought out several organizations that were bought into the fold. Of course they all wanted some form of payment; the sceptre took care of that idea perfectly well. It was only the next day that Loki discovered the small flaw in the strategy.
Loki had walked out into the main room that was bustling with activity; the pathetic mortals scurrying around doing their tasks with surprisingly efficient one tracked mindedness; Loki was somewhat impressed. It was then that the smell hit him; the overpowering stench of excrement and urine. Wrinkling his nose in disgust, Loki stalked further into the room with a glare; upon closer inspection, several of the mortals had let their bowels loose, but continued on their tasks, it was disgusting.
The nearest one to him; the scientist, Selvig, was wearing a look of discomfort but hadn’t stopped to clean himself up but continued tapping away at the device before him. “Why didn’t you relieve yourself in the proper facilities?” Loki growled at him.
The man slowed his tapping and flicked his eyes up to Loki hesitantly. “You said to work on the Tesseract and let nothing stop us, Loki.” He answered before returning to his task.
Loki frowned; clearly the mortals weren’t as smart as he thought they were a moment ago. The Sceptre evidently caused them to take his demands in the literal sense. Sensing someone approach, Loki looked up to see Barton standing before him and holding out some kind of small square device.
“The update report on our project completion, Sir.”
Loki glanced at the object then the mortal himself; at least the sniper hadn’t soiled himself yet. As if he realised what Loki was thinking the man responded promptly. “Snipers are trained to stay in one position for hours on end, Sir. I can hold it for a while.” There was a light frown of discomfort on his face as he answered and Loki figured that ‘a while’ was nearing its end.
Loki turned to face the mass of minions and thumped the butt of the sceptre on the ground. “Those in need, please go relieve yourselves in an orderly fashion immediately. Those who already have,” he added wrinkling his nose. “Clean yourselves quickly and then return to work.”
There was an immediate rush to the doors as a majority of the room headed toward the dank bathroom facilities with relieved faces; Selvig and Barton included. Sighing, Loki rubbed the side of his forehead almost gagging when he breathed in a mouthful of the foul smelling air. “Clean this room.” He snapped at the nearest mortal who hadn’t fled for the bathroom. The man nodded obediently and then scurried to do as asked. Satisfied, Loki turned and stalked back into the area he had deigned his quarters to get away from the stench.
***
Day two brought forth more problems. Apparently, those who hadn’t relieved themselves when he ordered the others to had soiled themselves during the night. With gritted teeth he sent them to clean up and after a few seconds, ordered everyone to relieve themselves again. The strain he hadn’t noticed on all the faces, faded as they went to do as ordered.
“This is ridiculous.” Loki muttered under his breath. At least the room was clean, Loki thought at he looked around the large area they had setup as a command centre. Very, very clean…why was it so clean? Glancing around suspiciously, Loki found the reason; the mortal he had ordered to clean up the mess yesterday was still at it. He was on his hands and knees scrubbing at what looked like nothing in the corner of the room. Loki watched as the mortal’s hands badly shook as he dipped the cloth into the soapy bucket before returning to scrub at the same spot jerkily. The human looked ready to collapse; the black sacks under his bloodshot eyes stood testament to the fact he had been cleaning non-stop. “You can stop cleaning.” He stated idly as he walked passed. His lips twitched as the mortal let out a sigh of relief and sat back on his heels. “Return to your previous duties.” He ordered before returning to watching over the mortals.
Barton was once more at his side holding out what Loki had discovered was called an electronic tablet; the man was quiet when he wanted to be. Without grabbing it, Loki flicked his eyes over the update; the words shook before his eyes and he frowned. Turning he shot the sniper a sharp look. “Keep it still.” He ordered.
“Sorry, sir.” Barton apologised, adjusting the tablet so that it was held in two hands instead of the previous one. The shaking didn’t completely stop but it was minimised.
“Are you cold, Agent Barton?” Loki asked in amusement.
“No, Sir.” Barton answered promptly.
“Then why are you shaking?” Loki asked curiously.
“Side effects, Sir.”
“Explain.” Loki demanded firmly.
“I haven’t eaten or slept for almost fifty-six hours, Sir. Shaking is one of the side effects...” Barton’s Tesseract blue eyes flicked over Loki’s face before he continued. “My productivity will only decrease the longer I go on without sustenance or sleep, Sir.”
Loki stared at the mortal flatly before spinning around and running his eyes over the mortals he had gathered; they all did look rather peaky. Closing his eyes he counted to ten in his mind and released a long sigh. This was ridiculous; couldn’t they do simple things for themselves?! Opening his eyes he turned back to Barton who was patiently waiting beside him for orders and wasn’t that just another annoying factor. “Organise some form of schedule to allow everyone a chance to eat and sleep.” He growled. Barton nodded and turned away to do as asked. Satisfied that he had solved that little dilemma, Loki headed back to his quarters; he needed to contact the Chitauri.
***
The stench of excrement was once again in the air the next morning. “Barton!” Loki shouted in irritation. The sniper appeared by his side as if by magic.
“You hollered, Sir?”
Loki growled at the tone and the man stiffened ever so slightly. “I thought I told you to organise a schedule to prevent this type of thing!” he snapped, pointing to Selvig who had once again soiled himself but continued working.
Barton’s eyes flicked over to the scientist before returning to Loki. “You said sleeping and eating, Sir.” He replied cautiously.
Closing his eyes, Loki made a pained noise in frustration. “Add relieving one’s self to the schedule.” He growled out. Barton nodded and began tapping at the tablet in his hands. “No, wait.” Loki said holding out a hand causing the sniper to stop. “Add using the bathroom facilities.” He stated. Maybe it was better to be vague, that way they would bath as well; he glanced at Selvig, some of them clearly needed it.
“Yes, Sir.” Barton answered. He too glanced at Professor Selvig. “Do you want me to send those who soiled themselves to the facilities immediately, Sir?” he asked.
Loki shot the man an irritated glance out the corner of his eye. If he didn’t know better he was sure the agent was asking stupid questions just to piss him off. “Yes. Plan out everything so that productivity will not be affected adversely and put it into action.” He answered before stalking away. Hopefully, hopefully, this ridiculous repetition of events would be behind him now and he could concentrate on achieving his goal.
***
When Loki next walked into the command room it seemed as if no one was actually doing anything. He looked around the room and found the soldiers all crowded in one corner laughing and joking whilst the scientists were in another. “What is going on here?” he demanded.
The nearest mortal; a scientist of some description if the white coat was to be believed answered. “We’re relaxing, you should chill too.”
Loki narrowed his eyes at the man; was that some kind of outrageous joke in regards to is heritage? “What?!” he hissed out angrily. The man paled and scrambled to his feet from where he had been sitting slouched against his desk. The thin book in his hand dropped to the ground with a small slap. Loki glanced at it and found the pages open to brightly coloured drawings of some ridiculously clothed people fighting some sort of battle.
“I-I…uhh…”
“Productivity levels were dropping drastically, Sir.” Barton announced from the side. “A few hours of R&R should put it back up to previous levels.”
“Fun?” Loki spat. “You planned a few hours of fun into the schedule?”
“Yes, Sir.” Barton answered promptly, tapping the edge of the tablet he always carried with a finger he continued. “You said to plan out everything that would adversely affect the productivity and put into action things that would prevent it, Sir.”
Loki let out an inarticulate cry of frustration and threw his hands into the air. Why did they take everything he said so literally?! This was supposed to be so easy! Mortals of Midgard were beneath him but they continuously found ways to cause him immense frustration. By the Nine he was going to enjoy crushing them beneath his boots! “Get back to work.” He ordered before storming out of the command centre angrily.
***
Finally, they had a plan of action and things were once more looking up. Selvig and Barton had found the next piece of the puzzle in Germany to allow the gateway to be formed. Loki allowed Barton to set up the plan of action; looking it over it seemed simple enough. Once they had arrived, Loki pointed at the nearest mercenaries. “Guard the surrounding area.” He ordered striding out of the aircraft along with several more men. The mercenaries nodded and spread out so that they could guard the area efficiently whilst the others were gone.
Nodding to Barton; Loki headed off in the separate direction, magicking away his armour for something more simply and elegant in mortal standards so that he blended in. He caught sight of several cameras and made sure that they caught video of him heading inside the building. If everything went to plan, then SHIELD would come running.
Loki kept his mind’s eye on Barton’s progress through the connection to the sceptre; as expected the man managed to get into position quickly. From there everything continued on smoothly; he obtained the eyeball Barton needed to access the Iridium and he watched the men retreat back to the jet and leave for the base camp. As expected SHIELD did turn up with three of the mortals Barton had told him about; Stark, Rogers and Romanov; the fourth flying the jet was inconsequential.
Unfortunately, there was a slight hiccup in the plan when Thor showed up. However the general result was still the same. Hopefully; he had managed to cover everything when he and Barton had planned out the attack on the Helicarrier; he didn’t want any further hold ups because mortals were stupid pathetic creatures and couldn’t do the simplest things without his permission. Unfortunately when the time for the attack came, he lost Barton but everything else went to plan. Selvig had created the portal allowing the Chitauri to come through and it looked like everything was finally going his way.
Of course that was when it all turned to a complete mess and the end result was him being slammed into the ground by the monstrous alternate ego of Banner, the Chitauri being defeated by the Avengers; including his ex-servent Barton, and Thor escorting him back to Asgard for punishment. Sighing through his nose due to the gag he looked at the paved ground thoughtfully; maybe he could actually get a break now. Who knew mind control was so tiring?