Relentless

Phil Coulson had been a busy man over the past week, securing his team of instructors for the fight and defense classes and dividing the groups up. He had planned an orientation meeting where he would bring them all in, assign them to their groups and everyone could get acquainted.
Bucky had spent some time with Coulson helping him plan how it was all going to run, and he even had a hand in selecting another team member to instruct. This had been a huge relief, now they had four capable guys, and Zara would go into a class with someone who knew her situation and would be sensitive to it, while giving her some great skills.




The week had been reasonably uneventful for Bucky and Zara. She'd spent mornings in the gym getting her cardio fitness up as much as she could before training commenced. Bucky had gotten out her old iPod which he'd kept, shown her how to use it, and she loved loosing herself in her favorite music as she worked out.
It was interesting to her that her tastes hadn't changed. Dr Reeves had given her a book on memory loss and trauma and she'd read that some patients had experienced changes in what they liked to eat, what they liked to watch and listen to and a whole host of other things. Besides all that, there were stories in there from people who had experienced complete memory loss, and gone on to lead successful lives and Zara had found it really comforting. There was nothing about anyone's memories being electrocuted out of their head by an evil organization, but all the same she found she could relate to the after effects of those who had experienced trauma.

Zara had spent time exploring their building floor during the day, and found her stress levels had come down a whole lot. She felt grounded for the first time in a long time, things were going well with Bucky, and the couple of punching bag sessions she'd done had given her confidence.
Steve was away on a mission somewhere, and with Bucky off helping Coulson, Zara had found herself bored one afternoon. She'd spent the morning in the gym, gone back to her own room and had a shower, read and tidied and she craved a bit of company. She had wandered down the corridor not really caring where she was headed, and her feet had taken her to the doors of Tony Stark's lab. Zara knocked on the door, expecting for him to either not be in there, or to be busy, but to her surprise he was there and in much need of a break from tinkering with whatever it was he had on the desk.

"Zeejay!" He'd beamed as she stepped through the door.
"Hey, Stark" She had shot him a big smile and gone right over to give him a hug which he returned. He'd poured them each a glass of single malt scotch and he'd turned the computer screen off and let the soldering iron cool.
They talked shit for what felt like ages, their friendly banter going back and forth effortlessly. Tony stark was a sarcastic know-it-all at the best of times, but Zara found the friendship between the two of them easy. He had a good heart and well, if she was honest with herself she found him funny as hell. Not to mention he had exquisite taste in liquor.
Zara told him about the training she'd done with Bucky with the punching bag, and told him about the fight training class, which of course he already knew about. They talked about the few memories that she'd gotten back, and Tony showed her his newest suit, which she'd been really impressed with. There was a pang of familiarity that hit her when she saw the mask of the suit, but not much more beyond that. Usually that pang meant the wheels in her head were turning and something would come back to her, whether it be in her sleep, or just a fleeting memory. She was getting a lot of those lately, just glimpses of images in her head now and then. Some were nice, others weren't.
When it was time to go, she had thanked Tony for the drinks and given him another hug, promising to come again for another visit soon. Tony said he'd organize a gathering soon for the elite team, and bring Pepper along too.




Things had been amazing with Bucky. Sleeping together had been better than she'd imagined, she could only describe him as a gentleman making sure she was okay in the initial stages, and then they just let go and rolled with it. Zara couldn't remember a time when she'd felt so good. They'd had a joke about her losing her virginity all over again, which if she thought about it, was quite an accurate way of putting it. Her body knew what to do, but it was all new to her mind. The only thing she knew now was that she couldn't get enough of him, and luckily the feeling was mutual. It was going to be fun getting to know each other intimately all over again.

It had given her a whole new air of self confidence, and as a result she'd been braver with day to day things, working out alone and spending time talking to former team-mates in the common room. She had met up with Sylvia North who had burst into tears and hugged the crap out of her. Sylvia was a warm, kind woman and Zara took an instant liking to her. Sylvia had talked her through what had happened that day during the Hydra base attack, the quin-jet crash and everything else she could remember. She explained that Zara had gone back for her and saved her life.
She rolled up her sleeve and showed Zara her arm, which was prosthetic from below the elbow down. It was metal, much like Bucky's. They had tried a synthetic flesh covering but it too often got damaged out in the field and Sylvia grew sick of them taking molds and replacing the 'skin' every mission. It didn't bother her though, the arm had become a sort of symbol or her resilience and she rocked the hell out of it.



Zara made her way down the hallway to the training room. It was the morning of the orientation day and although she hadn't admitted it aloud, she was nervous. She had threatened to color her hair or chop it off and Bucky had put a firm stop on that idea.
"You don't need to change yourself or hide behind a disguise. Nobody knows what you look like" He had reassured her. He'd even taken her to Coulson's office and typed her name into the archives. Not a single picture, even her ID had been removed as she'd been considered deceased. The archives weren't accessible to anyone outside of Shield, much less anyone without a decent level of clearance.
The only other thing was choosing an alias to go by. If she started acting shifty and refused to give a name, it would only draw unwanted attention to her. She decided that rather than pick a new name, she'd just go by her nickname. It was something only her closest circle knew, and she'd pick a generic surname to go along with it. Easy.
The only other thing was she had to ignore Bucky. She didn't know him, and if she spoke to him, it had to be as if they'd never met before. Zara smirked at the thought, it might prove tricky to pretend not to know someone she was rolling around with only a few hours prior...

Zara blew out a breath as she approached the training room. She looked down at herself. She'd been given a rookie uniform to wear. It consisted of black combat pants over combat boots and a fitted v-neck long sleeve shirt with a logo. Bucky explained it was similar to what the Strike team wore, obviously minus the weapons and bullet proof vests and jackets.
She walked through the door which had been propped open, and caught sight of Bucky, Ward and two other men who she didn't recognize. She let out a breath as she closed her eyes.

Relax...

She made her way over to where the other rookies were gathered, not game to make eye contact with anyone. They were asked to find a spot on the floor and sit while the last of them arrived. Zara looked at her watch, 8.55am. She pulled the tail of her French braid over her shoulder and fiddled with the end of it nervously. She was glad her hair had grown so quickly since it had been hacked off. It sat just below her shoulders now.
"Hi!" A bubbly voice rang out beside her. Zara felt sick, she didn't particularly want to speak to anyone. She turned her head to see a girl around her age. She had fire-engine red hair, wore black rimmed glasses and had a lip piercing. She was a fit looking girl, obviously smart to be a Shield tech at her age, and had an edgy, alternative vibe to her.
"Hi" Zara said softly, returning her smile.
"I'm terrified" The red head said. "Please tell me I'm not the only one"
"You have NO idea" Zara chuckled.
"Jessica Middleton" She said, putting out her hand to shake. "Jess" She shrugged.
"Zeejay Morgan" Zara said, shaking her hand. "Zee or Zeejay"
"Edgy!" Jess exclaimed.
"You can thank my parents for that one" Zara smiled. She looked around the room which was quickly filling around her. There had to be a good 40 or 50 people in there with her, all in matching uniforms, sitting cross legged on the floor. She felt like a school kid. She risked a glance up the front fleetingly making eye contact with Bucky before looking away from him. His face was expressionless and he didn't smile at her, but she'd expected as much. She looked over at Jess who had caught her looking away from Bucky.
"Intimidating, isn't he?" Jess said, her body giving a shiver. "I hope I don't get assigned to him-"

She was interrupted by a piercing, loud whistle from the front of the room that made everyone jump. There was Bucky standing in front of the other three instructors, taking his two fingers out of his mouth, his body language confident and demanding everyone's attention.
"Hey everyone" His voice boomed, "Welcome to orientation. For those who don't know me, My name is James Barnes. You can call me Bucky... Everybody else does. Up front we have Agent Grant Ward, Agent Jack Parsons, and Agent Lance Murphy" He said, gesturing to each of them in turn, and giving Lance a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"You're all here because you're all valuable members of Shield, whether it be tech, lab, administration or any of the other non-combat fields. Due to a new protocol we're rolling out, you will all be given basic training so you'll be able to protect yourselves should you need to." He said with authority.
"You'll be meeting with your instructors 4 days a week. Some days will be physical training, some days will be in a classroom environment, and I've been told we will be running some combat simulations as well" He said as he pushed the loose strands that had escaped from his ponytail back off his face. Zara was sure she heard the collective sigh from all the females in the room. Not that she blamed them.
"The four of us came from very different backgrounds, and as a result we all have something to bring to the table, different defensive manoeuvres and fight styles." He explained.
"SO, what we're gonna do is break you all up into groups, and you'll spend a week with each one of us in your teams, and after that four weeks we'll assess you and go from there. Any questions?" He asked, crossing his arms, eyes scanning the room. A couple of hands shot up.
"Yeah, if we're doing basic self defense training, why is there a need for combat simulations and the worry about fight styles? I mean a punch is a punch, right?" Came the voice of a young guy in the crowd. There were a few sniggers in the crowd, which Bucky stopped by glaring in the direction they had come from.
"Basic civilian self defense is different to ours. Civilians might have to fight off a mugger, whereas you guys might have to fight off a Hydra team or something of the like. I'm sure if your labs were stormed, you'd want to know what to do in the unlikely event that that happens." Bucky answered.
"But weren't Hydra eradicated?"
Bucky let out a bitter chuckle and shook his head.
"Never, ever assume anything" He said, "There are bound to be bottom-feeders out there, clawing their way back, but that's our job to worry about, not yours. Aside from that, Hydra are not our only threat, and we need to be prepared" He said, clearly holding back.
The young guy nodded and smiled, obviously grateful for the answer. The other two hands lowered, and it seems nobody else had questions, so they moved on.

"The four of us are going to call out the names of our trainees. All you have to do is sit tight and listen out for your name, and we'll split up into our groups at the end"
There were a few murmurs of chatter around the room as Parsons handed the lists out to each instructor and Bucky spoke to the three of them.

"I hope I get assigned to him" Came Jess's hushed voice.
"What changed your mind?" Zara chuckled and Jess grinned.
"The biceps... Then the smile, then the eyes" She giggled.
"He is pretty cute" Zara agreed.
"Cute? The man is gorgeous! Everyone says what a jerk he is, but he actually seems... Probably to wrong word, but nice?" She said, cocking her head thoughtfully.
"You can't blame him for coming off like a jerk though, poor guy has been through a lot. It takes some serious strength to keep picking yourself up after so many heartaches. I thought the last one would have broken him for sure" Jess said, looking over at Zara, who's stomach was now in a knot and a puzzled look on her face.
"You heard about it didn't you? His girlfriend died saving his life, just awful" Jess said, a frown on her face.
"You'd think something like that would be classified" Zara pointed out.
"Nope, right there on the archives. I know because I wrote most of them" She said nonchalantly with a shrug. Zara nodded, suppressing her inner urge to run screaming from the room and hide.

The instructors were still talking among themselves, this whole not talking about herself or Bucky was hard considering the girl sitting next to her was the one who wrote out the damned archives. Zara had no idea if her being back at Shield had been listed on there.

"Is there anything else about his girlfriend on there?" Zara tested.
"Not really, not anything that my level has access to anyway." She said. Zara let out a sigh of relief and felt herself relax. "Everyone knew that him and her were dating though. She died a hero, I hope he finds someone special again" Jess smiled, fluffing her hair.
"I wonder if he likes red heads?" She quipped. Zara chuckled, her smile reaching her eyes. Her secret was safe for now.

Ward stepped forward and started calling names, one by one till he got through his list, Followed by Parsons who did the same. Zara wasn't sure if she'd seen him before. He was your typical soldier, tall, strong and confident, but there was a friendliness in his eyes that made him not so scary. Jess seemed to know a little about them all, and explained that Parsons had been an ex-marine before coming to Shield.
Murphy was apparently another ex-military member of the team. He had gone through the Shield training programme, top of his class, and he'd been promoted not long after the fall of the original Shield building. He called Jess's name out, and then Zara's, making an effort to not look up at her as he did. Zara got that warm, familiar feeling from him, she must have known him.
"Looks like we're classmates" Jess said, giving a smile.

It wasn't long before it was their turn to get up and follow a small group out the door with Agent Lance Murphy. They went into an empty classroom and pulled up a chair. The first thing Zara noticed about him was his laid-back personality and how warm and friendly he was to everyone. She thanked her lucky stars he wasn't a 'drill sergeant' type.
"Hey everyone, make yourselves comfortable. First of all, you can all call me Lance." He said, before telling them a little about himself. They went around the room, each of the trainees introducing themselves. Brad, IT Tech. Sarah, Medical. Kyle, Intelligence... Zara's heart raced, she didn't realize she needed a back story. She didn't know a damn thing about medicine, computers or science. When it was her turn she decided to go with administration. There wasn't much to answering a phone or filing.

The orientation meeting didn't last long. They were given all the information they needed, and were told to meet up in one of the conference rooms at 8am sharp the following morning. Lance had called Zara over and when the rest of the group left, he closed the door so they were in the room alone.
"It's so good to see you, Zara" He smiled.
"We know each other, I take it?"
"Yeah, we know each other" He chuckled. "You don't remember the building collapse obviously. You got me and a few of my colleagues out safely." He said. "You saved our lives"
"I'm hearing a lot of those stories lately" She chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of her neck.
"We were friends. You used to tell me to fuck off all the time" he joked. "Anyway, Barnes and I are good friends and I promised him to look out for you. If you have any problems just let me know, and I'm here to help if you need to talk or anything"
"Appreciate it" She said with a smile.




Zara found it hard to sleep that night, the anticipation for the start of training was keeping her up. She lost track of how long she tossed and turned for, the guilt of keeping Bucky awake wasn't helping, despite his assurances that he was fine.
When she did finally fall asleep her dreams were full of gunfights and hand combat. There were enemies everywhere and she had no backup. She was running as fast as she could through the scrub, gunshots rang out in the background, over the sound of roaring flames and yelling. She had to get to the quin-jet, it was just around the corner. Her chest burned as she heaved for breath, branches whipping at her face as she ducked and weaved.
She woke up with a jagged gasp, somebody had her. She struggled, going from fear to anger at her attacker in a split second. She freed an arm and jabbed him in the throat, hard. There was a gasp and a cough from him, and Zara wasted no time kicking him away from her with both feet as she rolled off the bed, landing with a thud on her back on the floor. He was on her again before she even had the chance to open her eyes. She threw a punch which was caught in a strong fist and she was pinned to the floor.
"Zara!... Zara!" Came a familiar voice.
Zara stopped fighting against his grip and her eyelids fluttered as everything became clear. She opened her hands in surrender and he released her.
Bucky hung his head, letting out a sigh of relief.
"You had a bad dream..." He said with sympathy in his voice. Zara sat up, propping herself against the bedside table to catch her breath. She balled her shaking hands into fists and closed her eyes as she concentrated on slowing her breathing down.
"I'm so sorry" She said regretfully, turning to face him as he stood.
"Don't be" He said, taking her hands and pulling her to her feet, "bad nights are all part of it. I would know" he cocked a sideways smile as he wrapped his arms around her. She relaxed into him, resting her head on his chest, feeling better already.
"What happened?" He asked.
"Oh, nothing unusual. Just a combat situation, fire, gunshots and then I was grabbed." She said.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine" She said, "As you said before, it's all part of it, and to be honest I'm getting used to the dreams and flashbacks." She said, her expression softening.

"That left jab is coming along a treat" Bucky chuckled after a pause. Zara gasped in horror.
"I hit you!?"
"Yeah, perfect throat shot too" He said with pride in his voice. Zara pulled away, both hands going straight to his neck to check for marks.
"Oh my god I'm so sorry!" She said, mortified. Bucky laughed, finding the whole situation quite amusing.
"It's fine, really! Your accuracy and technique was impressive, not to mention getting out of a hold and the push kick. Just goes to show, it's all in there, we just have to unlock it" He smiled, leaning to kiss her.
"Still, I'd rather unlock it into a punching bag, not my boyfriend" She chuckled.
"I'll never get sick of hearing you call me that" He smiled, making her giggle.
"I'll never get sick of saying that, so long as you don't mind me beating you up, occasionally" She said, cocking a sideways smile.
"It's fine, I promise. Come on, let's get back to bed, I'm sure I can think of a way you can make it up to me..."