Relentless

Zara rested throughout the morning, still feeling drowsy and a bit flat. Bucky ordered breakfast for them and they sat up in bed eating with a movie on. Something light hearted which had given them both a few good laughs.
She had gone to have a hot shower after that, washing her hair with the shampoo and conditioner she found in his shower, and using some of his shower gel which she thought smelled incredible. She changed back into her own clothes which Bucky had kindly washed and dried for her, smiling as she pulled her tank top on and gave her hair a dry with one of the fresh towels he'd left out.
For some reason she felt like she could just cry at how sweet and thoughtful he'd been. No way were guys like this. No way were there gorgeous, muscular guys with killer smiles that were this fucking thoughtful. She smiled, feeling grateful as she hung the towels up, and put the old clothes in the hamper.

"Feel better?" He said with a smile as she stepped from the steamy bathroom. She made her way over to the kitchen where he was wiping the counter top and sat at one of the bar stools opposite him.
"Much better" She said, smiling up at him. "I seriously can't thank you enough for all this"
"You don't have to thank me. Knowing you're okay is thanks enough" He said, leaning on the counter so he was eye level with her.
"I called Dr Reeves up, she'll be up in half an hour or so to give you a checkup. I'm tipping you'll need to keep warm and get some more rest" he said.
"Oh, you didn't have to do that, I feel okay just a bit tired" She said.
"Zara, you're seeing a doctor." He said authoritatively. She let out a sigh, too tired to bother arguing with him.
"Is she meeting me here or at my place? I should probably go back and get some rest soon. Get out of your hair for a while..."
"She's meeting you here" He said, "And I've been meaning to talk to you about that..."
"About Dr Reeves?"
"No, about you getting out of my hair"
"I've overstayed my welcome, haven't I? I'm so sorry Bu-"
"Zara, please!" He said, exasperated. She looked up at him with that confused, guilty, doe-eyed  expression again.
"I think you should stay with me for a while" He blurted out, after a pause.
"You're asking me to move in with you? Bucky this isn't really 'taking things slow' is it?" She said, sitting up on her stool, backing away from him.
"No. Hear me out for a second" He said. "You're having trouble sleeping, and bad things have been happening at night. I'm sure you'd like to talk to me about a certain steak knife?" He asked, raising a brow, making her blush. So busted.
"I'm not sleeping because I'm up all night worried about you. I can't protect you in my sleep. If I hadn't of checked on you last night... Well you know what might have happened" He said. Zara nodded thoughtfully, but the expression on her face suggested she still wasn't completely on board.
"I understand all that, and in theory it's a great idea, but moving IN with you? It was only a couple of weeks ago I was convinced you were a scary, killer guy, and now you're not, and now we've kissed, and now we're moving in... It's all happening so fast..." She said, putting a hand to her forehead. "And now the room is spinning"  She said, feeling him at her side before the words had a chance to leave her lips.
He sat on the bar-stool beside her and steadied her with a hand gripping her shoulder.
"Zara... Zara look at me" He said gently, catching eye contact from her.
"I still AM a scary killer guy - only I'm on your side" He said, cocking a sideways smile, which she didn't return. "Jokes aside though, I'm not suggesting a permanant move, it's not like we're playing house. My idea was that you sleep here at night, that's it. you can do whatever the hell you want all day, hang out in your apartment, you can make your own dinner plans if you want your privacy, that's fine. I just want to be there when you're asleep. That's it." He said, "...Without meaning to sound creepy, of course." He added thoughtfully, earning a chuckle from her.

Her expression softened a little as she considered it.
"Okay that sounds... Feasible... Why don't you just come over to my place at night time then?" She asked.
"We could do that if that's what you'd prefer" He said. "Only reason I suggested mine is that my bed is bigger, and my couch folds out so there's a couple of options there depending on how you wanna do this."
"Your apartment is bigger too, I guess" She pondered aloud.
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking, you'd have more of your own space at night if you wanted it."
"And how long are we doing this?" She asked, letting out a nervous sigh.
"Till you're sleeping through the night without incident, and then after that it's up to you what you wanna do" He said. She looked down, letting a breath fill her cheeks before blowing it out.
"I can't believe we're doing this" She said, shaking her head.
"So that's a yes, then?" He asked. Zara looked up at him, still unsure.
"It's either that or they rig your whole room up with cameras, and they have a couple of guys sitting up all night watching you in shifts." He said.
"My room's already rigged up with cameras"
"They're not allowed to check the footage unless theres an incident. In your case because there have been multiple incidents, would mean you'd be watched 24/7" He explained.
Zara's face lost color as she pictured some fat, sweaty, Dorito scoffing, rent-a-cop type watching her as she slept. Someone she didn't know. She looked over at Bucky. At least he was someone she knew, someone she trusted, and someone she liked spending time with.
"It's totally up to you of course, I just figured I'd offer the option of staying here with me, over being watched by Tony's security staff and being deadlocked in your room like a prisoner. I don't like the idea of you being locked up, and I know I'd rather be looking after you myself then trust one of those idiots" He shrugged.
"Is your room rigged with cameras?" She asked after a pause.
"Hell no"
"Would it be rigged up if I stayed here?"
"Not a fucking chance" He smiled.
"Okay" She said with a smile. "I'm in. Lets do this"



It had been a long day for Bucky, he'd spent much of it on the phone trying to set things up for Zara to stay with him during the nights, and it had proven to be difficult as he'd expected. Coulson had been strongly against it, and suggested deadlocking Zara's apartment door from the outside to be a much better option. Bucky had argued how dangerous that was, considering she'd still be a Hydra target - he only had to look at what happened to the last building to see what could potentially go wrong. Not to mention being locked in a room alone was no good for someone's mental health - especially when that person was having a hard time coping as it was. Coulson thoughtfully agreed as he went through his options, the only other thing being round the clock surveilance, which is what Bucky had expected. It would mean someone had to stay up and watch her on their screens during the night. If something went wrong, their job was to call for help.
Bucky had pointed out that the person they'd most likely call was the one she had the strongest relationship with - which was him. Once again, he'd be up and running down the corridor to her, which wasn't a problem for him, but much easier if they were in the same room. Also if an incident was a time-sensitive one, it would save precious minutes in the time it took for them to realize there was a problem, call him, and for him to get there.
Coulson wasn't completely happy, but he eventually relented on the condition that he needed approval from both Zara and Dr Reeves. He would speak to them both in private, and Dr Reeves would do a psychiatric evaluation on her to make sure it's really what she wanted, rather than something she had been talked into.
Bucky rolled his eyes, his reputation for not being such a nice guy had preceded him, going by the opinions of the staff and bosses higher up the food chain.

Dr Reeves came during the day to check Zara over. Bucky gave them privacy and went to Zara's apartment to grab a few things of hers - fresh clothes and toiletries. He took his time, stopping to say hi to Steve who he ran into in the corridor and filling him in on the latest. Steve had put a good word in for him with Coulson, and encouraged the move. Bucky had smiled warmly and thanked him, giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder before he continued on back to his room.
When he got back, he was pleased to hear she'd make a full recovery. Dr Reeves had a lot of praise for him, he had acted quickly and saved her life. She would need plenty of rest and to be kept warm for the next few days, but all her vitals looked great. She was one lucky girl to have been found when she was.
She had had a lengthy talk to Zara about how she'd feel about staying with Bucky for a few nights and was surprised that she was willing to give it a go. The alternative was being locked in her room under surveillance, and even though things were still a bit awkward with her and Bucky, she was willing to give it a shot.
Dr Reeves was happy with all her responses, and made a call to Coulson giving her seal of approval on the idea. She handed the phone over to Zara who spoke with him for several minutes. He would have preferred to speak to her in person, but a last minute mission had come up which he'd been required to go to. He assured her he'd speak to her in person when he got back, but for now this would have to do. It was decided then and there over the phone that she would have all the freedom of any other Shield agent during the day, but she would have a curfew at night.
He also said that if there were any problems with Barnes, she was to let Steve know, who would then take her back to his place until they worked other plans out. Zara assured him that wouldn't be necessary, but Coulson being Coulson always had to have a plan B in place.



Bucky gave a satisfied smile on hearing the news, he knew it would be okay, now they just had to make it work.
He had set Zara up in bed, where she had been ordered to rest, and she slept through most of the afternoon. To Bucky's relief it was an uneventful sleep, save for a bit of tossing and turning here and there, and a few times she spoke in her sleep much to his amusement. He woke her up when their dinner arrived and they ate together on the couch while watching a movie.

Zara let out a yawn, making Bucky glance at his watch and he realized how late it was.
"Come on, lets get to sleep" He suggested. Zara nodded in agreeance and stood up, helping him turn the lights off and making sure the front door was locked.
They both found themselves in the bedroom looking at each other awkwardly.
"Um... How do you wanna do this?" She asked shyly, not sure what was happening with the sleeping arrangements.
"I like to do it any way" Bucky quipped, cocking a sideways smile that made her blush and him laugh.
"Oh my god, Bucky. I'm being serious!" She said in between giggles, hand over her mouth.
"Me too. ANY way is good for me" He winked, pulling his shirt off over his head.
"I'll take the couch" She said quickly, blushing again at the sight of his glorious shirtless body as she turned to leave. He grabbed her by the arm, stopping her.
"Don't be ridiculous, you take the bed, and I'll take the couch." He said, struggling to wipe the cheeky grin off his face.
"I'm not taking your bed, that's not fair..."
"So what's the compromise?" He said. "I'm just as stubborn as you are" He reminded her. She blew out a breath and gestured to the bed.
"Okay, we share then..." She suggested, going back around to the same side she was sleeping in before.
"No funny business" She mock-scolded him. He grinned and drew in invisible halo over his head with a metal finger.

Oh god, getting into bed with a big ex-assassin. A big shirtless ex-assassin... Shut up, brain!
... Be brave, be brave...

They both slipped under the covers at opposite sides of the bed and turned the lights off, laying still for a few moments. Bucky suddenly burst into a fit of laughter at the awkwardness, setting Zara off laughing too. He tapped the touch lamp back on as he rolled onto his side, Zara doing the same so they were face to face, propped up on their elbows.
"Why is this so weird?" She asked between giggles, quite amused by the whole concept. Bucky wiped his eye as he controlled himself.
"You tell me" He encouraged. "What's on your mind?"
"I have no idea, my thoughts escape me" She said.
"I know the feeling"
"Yes, you would, wouldn't you..." She mused aloud. "It kind of helps, having someone around that's been there."
"That's the idea" He smiled, shuffling over to her, closing the gap up a little. He chuckled to himself when he saw her whole body tense at his proximity.
"Are you laughing at me, Barnes?"
"Always" He grinned. "You don't need to be tense around me, Zara."
"I'm not tense"
"You are, and I can prove it" He said, gazing into her eyes, reading her.
"How can you possibly-" She started, being cut off by her own gasp as he closed the gap a between them, reaching out and placing his metal hand on her uppper arm.
"Right there. If you were comfortable around me, you wouldn't have jumped."
"I'm sorry"
"Don't be, it takes time" he said, taking his arm away, but staying where he was laying which was quite close to her. It was not quite close enough for anything intimate, but close enough to make her slightly uncomfortable. She watched his metal arm as he drew it away from her with curiosity and caution. Something within her had the urge to reach out and touch it, and he must have read that in her because he slowly extended it to her and gently took her hand with it.

"It's okay" He whispered, looking up at her as she explored it, running her fingertips up its smooth surface, flinching back when it made a low whirring sound as he moved it. He gave her a reassuring smile and she breathed a sigh of relief.
"I'm sorry" She said again, embarrassed at her jumpiness.
"You don't have to keep saying sorry" He chuckled. "No judgement from me"
"I just don't understand why I'm so drawn to you, but at the same time, so..."
"Afraid of me?" He offered. Zara pursed her lips.
"I'm not afraid of you" She said defiantly.
"You look at me like I'm a predator" He said, Zara looking away from him the second the words left his mouth.
"I can read you like a book" He said, exhaling.
"I'm s-"
"Don't say it" He cut her off, a gentle smile still on his face.
"Afraid is probably the wrong word... I guess I wouldn't be here if I was afraid of you. I know you won't hurt me, I trust you... Maybe I find you a little intimidating?" She suggested. Bucky pondered this and nodded.
"Intimidation is borne out of fear. I should know, It was my trade for a long time." He said, earning a nod off her as she took his words in.
"I don't mean to come off that way, it's just a part of me" He shrugged.
"No, it's not you. Seriously. It's me, my nerves are shot to shit, I can't have always been like this?" She asked.
"You were always a little anxious by nature, and you had nightmares back then, too. When we started sleeping together you didn't get them as much." He said.
"We were THAT good, huh?" She chuckled.
"I didn't mean THAT kind of sleeping together, but yes, we were pretty amazing" He laughed.
"I wish I could remember it" She said, a small smile crossing her lips. "It's so weird talking to someone who knows me so intimately, whereas I feel like I've just met you, save for a couple of memories"
"I'm sure we'll be back to our old selves when you're healthy again, and we're used to each other" He said, brushing a loose strand from her face, noticing she didn't flinch this time.
"See, better already." He smiled, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. She closed her eyes and relaxed into his touch.
"We should probably get some sleep" He said, earning a nod of agreeance from her. He sat up to turn the light off.
"Wait" She said, sitting up as well,
"You okay?" He asked, looking at her, reading her like he always did. He smiled when he saw her bit her lip nervously. He leaned over, cupping her cheek and kissed her slowly. She eagerly kissed him back, obliging him when his tongue parted her lips, deepening the kiss and making her heart race. She didn't back off like she usually did, instead wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. He laid her down gently, settling over her, running a hand up her body as he got to know her mouth all over again. She arched her back into him and he rewarded her by squeezing her waist and letting his body-weight settle on her a little...

Bucky pulled away reluctantly, although this was going in a favorable direction he knew that it was better they waited. She wasn't herself, nor was her body healthy enough to take much pressure, which their first time back together, if he was honest, probably wasn't going to be gentle going by that little display.
Zara smiled mischievously up at him and let a giggle out.
"Nothing changes" He chuckled, settling on his elbows, shaking his head at her.
"You were right" She said, making him laugh. He rolled away from her and switched the light off, rolling back over, reaching out and finding her with his hands.
"Get back over here" He growled playfully, turning her over and pulling her over to him, her back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, kissing her neck and the spot behind her ear, making a shiver run up her spine.
"You better stop that" She giggled. He let out a low, throaty chuckle and kissed the back of her neck.
"Goodnight baby. Sweet dreams"



Bucky woke up on his back, pleasantly surprised to see Zara tucked under his arm, with a hand on his chest and her leg hooked over one of his. His arm was protectively wrapped around her and she was completely relaxed.
He smiled to himself, he didn't realize how much he missed waking up like this. He had his girl here, in his bed and she was alive and well. What more could he ask for?

The morning sun was peeking through the blinds, lighting the room up red and orange. Bucky loved early mornings. He hadn't had the urge to get up and punch the shit out of a speed bag, maybe having Zara around had been therapeutic for him too? He hadn't had the urge to strangle anyone either which was a good thing for both him and the general populis.
He felt her move under his arm, and watched her as she woke. She scrunched her lids as if she was struggling against herself and when they finally opened her whole body tensed as she jumped, not realizing where she was right away.
Her eyes darted up to his, and she relaxed a little, even giving him a smile.
"Hi" He smiled at her as she sat herself up slowly.
"Hi" She said back lazily, stretching her back.
"Sleep well?" He asked
"I think so... I didn't try to kill myself again?" She asked with an amused expression on her face.
"No, not tonight"
"Progress!" She laughed, Bucky joining in.

They had breakfast, showers and got dressed for the day. Zara had argued with him about resting when he'd told her to get back into bed. She'd spent the last couple of days in bed and needed to stretch her legs, get some blood pumping.
She could hardly contain her excitement when she was able to get her foot into the purple Doc Marten's.
"So where exactly are you going?" He asked firmly.
"I don't know. I thought I'd go exploring" She said, smoothing a wrinkle from her skinny jeans and pushing her hair back off her face. Bucky exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration.
"I'm coming with you" He said after a pause.
"You're really cute, you know that?" She smiled, his expression faltering as she caught him off guard.
"I'll be back in a couple of hours" She said, leaning to kiss him on the cheek and turning to leave.
"Not so fast..." He chuckled, catching her around the arm.
"What?" She asked innocently.
"Don't act all innocent... You know exactly what you're doing." He said, narrowing his eyes, "You think you can give someone like me the slip? Just like that?"
Zara grinned, biting her lip and shrugged her shoulders, the aloof expression still in her face. Bucky let her arm go, his hand sliding down to her waist.
"I don't like this" He said, keeping his expression kind and his voice low.
"I know, but you said yourself that I could do whatever the hell I wanted during the day... You're not going back on our agreement are you?"
"No... You're free to do what you want, I just want you to be safe."
"I need to start being brave, Bucky... Which means you do, too." She smiled up at him. He nodded to her, understanding what she meant.
"You call me if it gets too much, okay? I'll come get you." He said, looking into her eyes with that 'this is not a request' look on his face.
"I promise"



Zara made her way down the hallway finding a spring in her step. It was exciting being out alone, in the middle of the day. There were plenty of people around and it made her happy that she wasn't bothered by the crowds. She smiled politely at passers by, giving a friendly wave to those who acknowledged her.
Everyone seemed to know who she was, which was strange to her as none of the faces seemed familiar. She found herself at an elevator with her finger automatically hovering over a floor number which meant nothing to her.

Why not?

She shrugged, taking a chance on the mystery floor, and stepped into the metal box. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized it wasn't empty, but she grit her teeth and stepped in, despite herself.

Be brave...

"Zara? Zara Jones is that you?" A guy her age gasped. Zara wasn't sure how to respond to his excitement so she smiled to him politely and nodded.
"It's SO great to meet you! I heard you were back and I just... Oh my god" He gushed. "I'm Carl" He said, thrusting his hand at her to shake, making her jump a little.
"Nice to meet you, Carl" She said a little awkwardly.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. It wasn't the floor she needed but Zara stepped out, calling out a 'see you later' to her fan in the elevator. She put her head down as she walked, suddenly not feeling so brave. She saw a door with a bathroom sign on it and pushed it open, stepping in to take a moment to herself. Her palms were clammy.
She took a couple of deep breaths, giving herself a pep talk in her head. She HAD to conquer this. The old Zara Jones would have marched down that corridor, zero fucks given. On a silver horse. Holding an American flag. During a 21 gun salute. A fireball exploding behind her. After saving a busload of orphans...
Zara laughed at herself, letting out a breath. Nobody in this building was there to hurt her. They probably wouldn't even try, given her reputation as a little butt-kicker. From what she'd been told, the majority of the agents and staff here at Shield weren't aware that she'd had her memories wiped. Most of her information had been withheld and was on a need to know basis. All they needed to know was that she was in fact alive, and that she was recuperating after a bit of an ordeal that left her with a few injuries.
She realized she could use this to her advantage, she just had to fake a bit of confidence and nobody would bother her. She doubted someone would start anything with the girlfriend of Bucky Barnes either, who's reputation clearly preceded him.

She wandered into a huge room which had the doors open. It was full of couches, had a couple of fireplaces and a bar in the corner. One of the walls was covered in pictures which caught her attention and she found herself looking at them all, smiling. She was in a few of them, one that caught her eye was one where she was in combat gear, smiling into the camera with two other women. She was in the middle of the three and they had their arms around each other. They looked like they'd just come back from a mission, hair messy and soot smudged on their cheeks. They were all super fit, armed with guns, and knives and despite their warm faces they looked like the kind of people you wouldn't want to pick a fight with.
She got that familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach when she looked at their faces, one of them was an attractive, middle aged woman of Asian decent, and the other was a bubbly looking girl with a bright smile, dusty blonde hair and green eyes. The blonde girl didn't give her a good feeling for a reason unknown to her, but the other woman piqued her curiosity. She made a mental note to meet up with her as soon as she was able.
There were a few photos of her fighting in what looked like a classroom situation, her face fierce and focused as she took down whoever the guy was in the photo.

Zara noticed there were quite a few pictures of her, some more flattering than others, most of them were photos of her in her combat gear. There were a couple where she was with Bucky on various missions, and a few of her arm in arm with a pretty girl with brown hair. She smiled, reaching out to touch the photo, getting a warm feeling in her heart from them.
She decided she would come back to this room with Bucky, and have him talk her through them all.

Zara smiled fondly as she left the room, walking slowly down the hallway not paying much attention when she came past another open door. She peeked in on hearing a flirtatious giggle and to her delight the room looked familiar. She smiled as she looked down at the floorboards on the ground, the vertical blinds covering the half windows and the tables pushed up against the front wall.
"Zara!" Came a voice, distracting her from her thoughts. She realized she had walked straight into the middle of the room. A tall, dark haired guy approached her, one she recognized from the photos on the wall earlier. He must be a friend. She smiled up at him and said hi, her expression dropping when she saw the pretty blonde girl behind him.

Zara crossed her arms and raised a brow, bottling down an unfamiliar feeling of aggression that was brewing inside her as she clenched her jaw.
The tall dark haired guy looked at her and then back at the blonde, and cocked a smile.
"I take it you two have met before..." He observed out loud.
"Yeah, we know each other alright" The blonde girl said, venom in her voice. "She threatened me, her and her Bucky Barnes" She said. The dark haired guy shot Zara a disgusted look.
"Why would she do that?" He demanded. "Why would you do that?" He turned to Zara stepping toward her.
"She lied to me about Bucky. All because she wanted to get into his pants" Zara said, covering up the fear that had taken over the aggressive feeling.
"Why would I want some freak when I have HIM?" Rachael growled, gesturing at Tall-guy. Zara narrowed her eyes at Blondie, she was going to get it, now.
"Why don't you pick on someone in your own league?" Tall-guy demanded, stopping arms distance to Zara. He was trying to intimidate her, but she was determined not to let it show.
"I don't know what you're talking about" She said, standing her ground.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about" He said, taking another step, putting pressure on her.
"Why would YOU of all people pick a fight with a rookie? You've got nothing to prove, and as for Barnes-"
"I didn't pick a FIGHT!" Zara suddenly snapped, shoving him in the chest. Tall guy blocked her and pushed her hard, sending her flying across the room, where she landed with a thud.

The three of them eyed each other, mouths open with shock, tall guy running over to her to make sure she was okay. He put a hand out to help her up which she shied away from.
"Zara, are you okay?" He asked, concern in his face. Zara shook her head confused.
"Why the fuck would you throw me across a room and then ask if I'm okay?"
"You hit me first!" He said, brows furrowed with confusion, "I thought you were gunning for a re-match... But you didn't fight back..."
"What the HELL are you talking about?" She demanded, her voice cracking.
"You don't remember our fight? On Coulson's plane?" He asked.
"YOU'RE Grant Ward?"
He grabbed her arm, pulling her to her feet, nodding in reply, mouth open in shock. Rachael skipped over to him, putting an arm around his waist. Zara's eyes darted between the two of them, not sure what to say.
"You've been wiped..." He said, watching her wince at the words.
"I'm so sorry, Zara. I wouldn't have reacted like that if I'd known." He said regretfully.

Zara backed off, shooting them both a glare before getting the hell out of that room as quick as she could. She ducked into an empty office and locked the door behind her, turning the light off. She pulled out her phone and dialed Bucky's number, hands shaking.
"How'd you go?" Came his friendly voice.
"I've forgotten..." She said, her voice cracking. "I can't fight..."
"WHERE ARE YOU?" He demanded, picking up on her tone.
"In an office three doors up from the gym. Level 6"
"I'm on my way"