Stucky- Sparring

“Buck, you in there?” I heard Steve call out distantly. Not physically… I stood in front of him in the bathroom, he stood a few feet away, his cheeks red. Holding my head I blinked before looking down and saw I dressed in my sweats and a t-shirt. How did I get dressed? Did Steve…?

“Yeah, sorry,” I walked out of the bathroom past him and into my room. I must have blacked out and Steve dressed me… That’s why his cheeks were flushed. Why was he embarrassed?

Steve followed but stayed near the doorway, unsure.

“Steve?”

“Yeah pal?” He answered lightly. I looked at him, into his eyes before talking. Those baby blues were always a showstopper…

“How did I get dressed?” I asked, sitting down on my bed.

“Well I was waiting for you to let me know when you were done but you didn’t, so I came back in. You were… I’m not sure how to describe it,” he said slowly as I rubbed my face, hair still damp.

“I blacked out. It happens… happens usually while I'm trying to get to sleep sleep so I deal with bad headaches when I wake up,” I said looking away from him. I didn’t want to see his eyes have pity for me.

“I got you dressed, to answer your question… You weren’t okay so I thought that was the best thing to do,” he said after an awkward silence. I nodded but kept my gaze down.

My own cheeks were getting hot now. Damn. I know we had our past but I wasn’t expecting to be so exposed…

“T-thank you,” I said looking for my zip-up hoodie to cover my arm.

“No problem, Buck. Didn’t mind any,” I saw him nod from the corner of my eye. I looked at him and he tried to smile at me, something was missing. It wasn’t in his eyes… Those bright blues…

“I’m going to order Italian for dinner, should I order some for you? You did work out today so you should replace what you burned off… Not that you had much to burn off…” he trailed off when I looked down again. I nodded.

“I’m not sure what I like…” I mean I was starved with HYDRA; all food seems too strong for my taste buds.

“I’ll get what I know you liked and you can try it out. Okay?” He suggested; again I nodded. He walked out my room to leave me to myself while food was ordered and delivered.

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“Come on Bucky, quit hoggin’ the hot water!” Steve yelled into the stalls of the bathroom after waiting an inefficient amount of time outside for his turn. With a laugh that could have passed for a cackle, Bucky rinsed beneath the water then turned the shower off.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the relaxing sound of hot steamy water pouring over me,” he laughed and emerged from the stall with only a towel around his waist. Steve rolled his eyes and crossed his arms at his friend. Bucky flashed a grin at the blond before moving over to his clothes on the skin, Steve moving around him to ready his own shower.

“We have a hot water limit, let alone a water cap for daily use in this camp. You can’t go using everyone’s rations,” he chided.

Bucky rolled his eyes and went about getting dressed.

“There are ways to conserve the water use, Stevie,” he suggested as the water turned on again.

“Not my point, Bucky. You’re just lucky that we were the last to shower from the team, and even more lucky that I take a quick shower at that,” he went on. Bucky moved to the small mirror to shave once fully dressed.

The other Commandoes were either on watch, bullshitting around the fire or asleep for the next watch when the time came. The camp they were crashing at was on the way to another camp that was going to be telegrammed. Before Bucky finished his shave, the water stopped and out came the super soldier in his towel. Bucky watched him in the reflection silently until Steve actually noticed.

“You’re still here?”

“Yeah I shaved. Problem?” he countered playfully, finishing the removal of his stubble and wiping his face off.

“Why would there be a problem, Buck?” Steve said turning away from the brunette, his voice sounding a bit nervous. Bucky moved further away to hang up the towel he used then stood against the wall to wait for Steve to finish.

“Did you want me to leave?”

“Well I guess not. I didn’t ask you to leave or anything like that,” Steve said, pulling on his clothes quickly as he was being watched.

“Embarrassed that I coulda seen your butt like I did back home?” Bucky teased further while playing with his damp hair now. Steve was bright pink on any part of his body from the suggestions that his best friend was conjuring up.

“Bucky…” Steve said with an awkward laugh.

Bucky grinned and winked at the other man, enjoying how easily Steve could blush.

“No one will come in here for a while. Nothin’ to be ashamed of, Stevie…”

“No… Look, Bucky, you cant go around sayin’ things like that. It isn’t like that,” he said to Bucky once he turned to look at him, the uniform back on, all parts in their perfect place. Bucky couldn’t help but give him a once over after hearing Steve talk.

“Why not?” His eyebrows furrowed and cocked his head.

“Cause if anyone hears they could get the wrong idea,” Steve said again and easily fixed his wet hair. “If anyone hears they could report both of us and it wont be anything but trouble. And I don’t want either of us in trouble when we have the mission to complete.”

Bucky pushed off the wall and walked closer to Steve, chest puffed out before moving to pass him.

“What idea is that?”

“Look, it isn’t back home so just don’t say that stuff anymore. Got it?” Steve grabbed Bucky’s arm so he looked in his eyes. Bucky stared back at him.

“Sure thing, Cap. Wouldn’t want to do anything to ruin the mission,” Bucky scoffed, entire body rigid, tone cold, no longer teasing.

“Buck…” Steve said with a defeated sigh.

“No, Steve,” he shook his head and knocked Steve’s hand off him. “You know I wouldn’t be so stupid to jeopardize what you have to do. What WE all have to do. I ain’t bragging of what we had back home… No one knows, too, so you can stop worrying about it… And, I know ya got Agent Carter now anyways. Don’t give me that look, I know she’s waiting for you, Stevie, I ain’t blind. So I won’t say a damn thing. I’ll be a good solider, that’s what you wanted right?” Bucky shouted, his voice filling up the bathroom. Steve stared at him and his outburst.

“I’ll leave you alone, Captain, so you don’t have to worry if the guys are thinking bad or getting the wrong idea. I’ll see you in the morning,” he said before walking out of the room to leave Steve in silence.

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The following week after Natasha took Bucky to the warehouse to spar, she decided that it would be a weekly occurrence. He was dragged out of the apartment, out of Brooklyn, into Natasha’s car and out of harms way for the safety of the people. Bucky still was not pleased with how Steve was never around when she snagged him but did not fight to go with her.

“Same as before, Barnes. Either spar with me or hit the bag. Either way, you’re talking again,” she ordered while prepping the two areas for whichever Bucky decided on doing. He stared at her with exhaustion in his eyes, only managing five hours of sleep from the entire week, the rest of the nights filled with flashbacks and nightmares. Dark circles were quite predominant under Bucky’s eyes for the world to see if only they looked.

Bucky decided to give in to her and walked over to the sparring mat and stood there silently.

“Ready Barnes?” she questioned while raising her arms to strike. He nodded, not wanting to be there and wanting more than anything to sleep without any flashbacks or nightmares. But there wasn’t a way for that to happen. He was moody and irate.

Without any warning, she leapt into action. Luckily he was already on edge and saw her attack coming. Bucky grabbed her arms and pushed her right into the mat in one swift move.

“Finally, Barnes!” She said pushing off the mat and circled him. From behind she went to jump on his back, but he pulled her forward over his shoulder and back down on the mat. Natasha let out a grunt as she connected with the floor, the wind briefly leaving her. The takedown left Natasha with a grin on her lips. Now it was Bucky’s turn to circle and watch her every move but still only was using defensive movements.

Half an hour passed between the seesaw of offense and defense attacking between the two agents before Natasha’s phone buzzed, calling for a break. She shot off a few texts as Bucky just sat and waited, drinking from his water bottle.

“What’s on your mind right now, Barnes?” she asked while sitting down next to him. He gave no response. Taking a swig of her own water she had an idea that could help with getting the asset to talk to her a bit more freely.

“Что у тебя на уме?'' She tried again in Russian, watching Bucky closely to see if anything registered. A few seconds passed before he looked at her, fully aware of what she said to him.

''I remember almost everything now,'' was all he said before standing back up, walking back infront of the punching bags and began to slam his fists against them. Natasha sent off a few more text messages before quickly going back to where she stood before.

Natasha waited a few moments before asking the group of questions that S.H.I.E.L.D. had assigned to her to ask the Asset while they were in The Warehouse.

"Will you tell me what you remember?" She asked again in her fluent Russian, highly curious as to why it was easier for the man before her to speak in her native tongue than his own. Did this have to do with what HYDRA did to him and all of his brainwashing, she thought.

Her question was ignored as Bucky continued to hit and punch, taking out the internalized aggression on the hanging objects.

"You can't keep it all in," she pushed again. Bucky briefly stopped his jabs to look at the redhead.

"There's too much to say."

Natasha nodded, knowing this at least. The hits to the bag resumed.

"Alright then, let's change topics to something a bit lighter than The Winter Soldier, she offered as he stopped punching again to stare hard at her, attempting to figure out her tactic.

"Do you honestly care or is this what your bosses want you to ask me? he snapped annoyed. Natasha noticed how his emotions were closer to the surface now than compared to the week prior.

"Well both. My bosses want to see and know all that you remember. There there's me, who is hoping that you will see me as a friend. Because sometimes you need one of those too," she smiled gently.

"No games?" he asked, not realizing when they switched back to speaking English. Natasha shook her head and walked closer to him.

Bucky took a deep breath before moving to sit down on the mat where they stood. Natasha followed and sat in front of him.

"You wanted something that doesn't involve the Asset?" he asked, receiving another nod. "Well, there's growing up, school, small odd-jobs in Brooklyn," he through out a few topics that were easy to talk about.

“What’s your best, happiest, strongest memory before the war?” she asked.