Chapter 1
When Peggy and Angie live together they started living together they also started up up their own cute little routine. They have a schedule, and Peggy always gets home first, and it’s winter, and she never turns on the heater, and Angie’s one of those annoying people who is always cold. So when she gets home she sees Peggy working on S.S.R. things. And she usually sits at this chair near a big window in the corner. Peggy has it figured out. There’s just enough light and it’s not too central so she doesn’t feel like she’s trying to get the staff’s attention or anything.
And she always has her back to the front doors so Angie always comes up behind her and covers her eyes and Peggy ignores her for a couple of seconds and finally gives in and says “I know it’s you Angie!” And Angie giggles and pulls herself into Peggy’s lap and tries to “soak up her warmth” because it’s “freezin’ out there!” And Peggy loves it. And they both cuddle every night and barely get anything done. And then finally when it starts getting dark enough that they should turn on the light, Peggy gets the light, and Angie turns on the heater (despite Peggy rolling her eyes), and then they have an arrangement with the staff that every Friday Angie and Peggy make dinner. Well, Angie makes the dinner mostly.
But Peggy helps measure out things sometimes, and she tells Angie when the timer is going off (even though Angie can hear it perfectly). And then they eat dinner together and they tell the staff good night. The staff currently understand that that means “stay away from Peggy’s room now” and they try to do any cleaning up nearby done before they finish dinner. And then they got to bed together and they wake up cuddled next to each other. And even if Peggy’s awake she always pretends to be asleep so she can be ‘woken up’ by Angie who always rolls over sleepily and whispers “I love you.” Before kissing her gently on the nose, and then they start getting ready together.
But then imagine one day Angie gets home on a Friday, the end of the week and she’s planning her dinner, and bought a bunch of ingredients. So she’s extra excited ‘cause she had a bit of luck at the auditions and got some extra stuff she didn’t usually get. And she goes up behind the chair to put her hands around Peggy’s face…
But as she does so something seems different about her face… but, she knows she can wait to find out. She’s had a good day and she’s just gonna play along and pretend like everything’s normal for a bit. Then she knows she can surprise Peggy. She loves surprises and pretending. She hasn’t done it for ages, so her heart’s beating just a bit faster in her chest and she thinks… just wait. Just wait ‘til she says it and you can surprise her. So she does wait a while… but finally she thinks.. it’s been a long while. She decides to just come out with and says a little excitedly (but also nervously, what if Peggy is trying to surprise her too?)… “Peggy?”
There’s no answer and she wonder’s what’s going on, so she immediately runs around the other side of the chair to find that she really did have her hands around Peggy. In a way. It’s Peggy, but her eyes are shut, and she looks weird… different… and… then she realises. Among the patterns on her red dress and bunches and crumples there is a significantly dark, red patch with a hole it in. “Peggy?” she whispers, she reaches her fingers up shakily to touch Peggy’s face. It feels different… cold. Wrong. That was why…
She shudders and her eyes brim with tears. “Peggy? Peggy?… Peggy?” she keeps whispering as tears fall down her face steadily. She gingerly sits next to Peggy’s legs and holds onto them. She holds onto them with all her strength. Squeezing her eyes shut and then she has a thought. What if she breaks the legs? What is it like for…
Oh God. She clenches her teeth together as she tries not to make any sound while oddly gripping Peggy’s leg. She doesn’t want to let go. She doesn’t want to stop touching her. She can’t let go. Then it won’t be… she doesn’t know but she can’t let go. She can’t press too hard either. She tries to ignore the morbidness and focuses on the perfect pressure as she sits there, hunched over, letting her dress soak up her tears as it gets darker and darker. When she realises it’s completely dark she’s stopped crying. The tears are half dried on her face and neck, she feels sick. But she just keeps holding Peggy’s legs. Frozen in terror. It’s a while before the staff turn on the lights and find them. They try to do something, pry her from Peggy, comfort her, give her food… she just begs. “Please, go away. Leave me. Leave me alone. Go away.”
When Angie wakes up she feels odd and disoriented, it’s bright and warm and strange and uncomfortable… but she can feel Peggy somewhere… and she whispers “I love you.” and moves to kiss Peggy on the nose. She does this while half-asleep, eyes closed. But after the kiss she realises that surface is cold and strange and… she blinks rapidly, it’s so bright… it’s not usually like this… and the floor is so hard… floor? Why is there a floor? And then the realisation dawns on her… the details of last night seeping back until she feels sick again. Sick and lost and dizzy and weak and tired, and she stands up feebly in her uncertainty. What should she-
And then she sees Peggy’s face, in the bright daylight. A dull, faded remnant of her love now worn and strange and unreal… unfeeling and dead. Dead and still and she drops to her knees with sadness and weakness and and curls up again, letting sobs rack her body with pain. Physical pain, that’s what she wants. Physical pain to stop the numbness. And she keeps crying and coughing and sobbing until the staff find her.