He was in a bar.
1944, after his rescue. Steve was with Peggy. "Hey, we're gonna look at the maps. You wanna come?"
"Nah, you love birds have a good time."
"Barnes, you underestimate your skills." Peggy said in that firm, gentle tone only she ever had.
He smiled. "No ma'am, I'll go see Natalia."
"See you at base, Buck." Steve said.
He downed another shot. A feeling of fear attempting to be
numbed hard by the liquor that ran through his veins.
Why?...
Natalia walked up to him, her steps different.
"Who are you?"
"[Natalia.]"
(No please, not here.)
She cocked the gun. "You have 3 seconds."
"Nat, it's James."
"I don't know any James."
She began to aim & fire as he ducked.
("No...")
He dodged, despite the gun on his side.
Each shot perfect.
"I taught you. We trained, you made me human again."
Silence as a poison.
He put his arm up as she flipped, reloading.
"I'm sorry, Natalia, please."
"How do you know my name?"
"I can't-"
Hand to hand, defend, defend.
(Wake up, wake up.)
"You're better off without me."
Back in their bedroom.
"How do you know that?" She said as she laughed lightly, disappearing to leave an empty, & disheveled room.
"Natalia?"
A gun cock. "Who the hell's Natalia?"
"Bucky!!"
He sat up, sweat covering him.
He laid back down once he realized his breathing was uneven.
"You idiot, I told you you needed observation. The illum has an after effect." Daisy paused. "The drug is a stimulant for aliens, for Christ's sake."
Tired. Just a dream.
"You're running a fever, just hang in there. Alright Bucky?"
Dreaming. Just tired. Still reality, he told himself.
Bucky felt her hand ghost across his face.
("104. Just don't dream about monsters, you should be fine.")
Not a baby.
("Know you aren't. Just like calling you one." She smirked.)
"'talia."
Daisy panged as he muttered that, drifiting back into sleep.
His alert system spiked as she was just about to rest herself, taking Bucky's word that he was fine. Idiot.
She finished processing the sample, getting the idea to run it through the local planetary PD's after it didn't ring up on the OS.
.....Which came with the added work of decrypting the local planetary PD's, leaving her to hack 12 different alphabets.
She'd discovered that the Illum was used as a high grade, & highly sought hallucinogenic, equivalent to bad, bad LSD.
Loki meant to graze it, as a direct shot meant overdosing.
After it, she began to head to her quarters when Bucky's room alarmed.
Daisy sighed. She'd have to warn Steve about this tomorrow, & tell him about Bucky, if he hadn't already recovered by then. A dark thought hovered; if these were the after effects of a graze, what would have a shot been?
Everyone had read the files. You had to have no soul to not feel angry, or sad. & nightmares are amplifications.
Funhouses that fevers get a kick out of. ....Having you lose your head.
He began to mumble in Russian.
Shit.
She patted his forehead with the cold cloth. "You'll pull out it, Barnes."
Pity was only for, & given to the weak, in that regard; Daisy & he knew that.
But in this matter, a small drop of it appeared in the darker territories of her imagination.
Which amplification is worse? One of the only people you've ever loved forgetting every memory of you, & you as a person... Or you forgetting everything?
"Stubborn fool."
Maybe quiet pity is a nature of humanity every person worth of it, deserves. Like a prayer said in the heart.
& if prayers in the heart do so quietly; collectively. .... One could only hope Natasha could hear him.