Revelations
"Stark?...STARK!" Steve bellowed into the lab. Tony jolted upright. Wincing hard as the whiskey reminded him of it's presence. "I'm awake! I'm awake. Oh hey Cap."
Steve watched Tony disapprovingly. "Hi Stark. My Shield. You fixed it from the bot run in?" Steve asked stoically.
Tony squinted up at him through the hang over induced pain. "Yeah. Yes I did. It's uhh. Over here." Tony staggered a little through his haze. Grabbing the shield he handed it to Steve. Hating the hard look on his face. Well, at least he liked Iron Man enough. "You guys kicked serious Doom ass in that battle."
Steve pursed his lips. "A lot of civilians almost died that day Stark, it has nothing to do with kicking Doom ass." Steve's tone was deadly serious.
Tony raked his right hand through his already messed up dark locks. He let out a sigh. "Jesus Cap. Can a guy pay a compliment once in awhile?"
Steve scoffed. "We only did what was right. To be honest if it wasn't for Iron Man, people would've died. I couldn't get to them in time."
"Awwwwww Captain Stevie found himself a hero." Tony returned the mock.
Steve nodded challengingly. "Thanks for the repairs Stark, but I don't have time for this."
"Of course you don't. I'm part of the little people. Right? Until you need a repair." Tony seethed.
Steve nodded again placing his shield on his back. "You know Stark. If you could just crawl out of that bottle you might just amount to something someday."
Tony jutted his chin out. "oh. You mean like you? Last I checked Iron Man is doing better than you. What's wrong Roger's? Slacking off?"
Steve squared his jaw. Tony saw the hurt flicker in Steve's eyes. He knew he would regret what he just said but damn if what Cap said, stung like a sonofabitch.
"See you later Stark..." Steve turned to leave. Noticing it was turning ugly quick.
"You know for someone who hates bullies. Your damn good at it. You even sound a bit like my father!"
Tony called after the Captain. Tears burning behind his corneas.
The lab door slammed shut after the Captain. Tony sunk into his lab chair. He stared at the half bottle of whiskey. Deciding it was a good time to polish it off. He glanced over at the vault were he kept his suit. "Yeah? Fuck you too." He said at the vault .
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Steve felt the blood of anger rush to his face. Was he a bully? Steve would become haunted by this comment. He genuinely cared for Tony Stark. He worried about his drinking. He enjoyed his charisma when he wasn't being such a jerk. He even had a nice smile. Steve shook his head on that last thought. Rerouting his brain to another subject. Ferreting out Doom's compound in Latveria. He would need Iron Man for this one.
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Recovered and hidden behind the suit once more Tony followed Steve's lead. "We really should call in the rest of the team Captain, at least brief them."
Steve nodded peering over one of the crag outcroppings. He was almost certain Doom's compound was just over this particular mountain. It seemed silly to Steve, but this was nice. Just him and Iron man. "Maybe. But I'm taking a page from Tony Stark's book, even though he makes it look better than me.”
Tony's eyebrows rose in slight surprise behind the faceplate. "Mr. Stark can be difficult, but he does try to do his best at things." Iron Man offered quietly.
A pang of guilt weaseled it's way into Steve's chest from his and Tony's earlier argument. "I know. I just...I just wish he would stop pushing me away. It makes me frustrated. I just want to help. I know he's not a child. We all have issues. Shoot, I still have nightmares about the Howling Commandos." Steve sunk back down, his back against the sharp rock looking at Iron Man's faceplate. "So your never going to show me your face huh?" Steve grinned a touch. This was one of their usual debates.
Tony swallowed thickly. "Where would the mystery be Captain?" Iron Man answered playfully. Tony continued sweeping scans for any odd activity.
"I think about him a lot you know. I worry about him." Steve stared off thoughtful. "I don't like that he's alone all of the time, or eats terribly. I mean. Who's there for him when he has a nightmare?"
Tony could feel the flush of his skin riding to meet his suit. "Captain, it sounds like your in love with the man." Iron Man teased.
Steve's head whipped to look up at Iron Man. "C'mon Shellhead. That's not a thing.
Ironman turned to casually look at the Captain. “Why not? Gay love isn’t an issue any longer. There are even laws regarding Hate Crimes.”
Steve’s eyes flickered back to the shiny plated head that he was dying to know it’s owner. “I...it’s not that. He’s. He’s so much more. It’s about not feeling good enough for him I guess...I mean. I couldn’t save Bucky...I can’t seem to stop being a dick to Tony. Yeah he’s got his faults, but doesn’t everyone? He and I deal with our trauma differently. Steve looked down now staring at the ground. He could feel the tears pool, ready to drop. “Fuck, why didn’t I realize this sooner? I’m taking out my shit on him and he’s only reacting.” Steve swallowed hard.
Tony stared at the broken man before him. He wanted to rush to him and hold him. Tell him he’s there and it’s OK. Tears were freaking uncomfortable in a plated mask.
“Listen Captain...” Ironman stated softly. “Maybe you two really just need to talk, even about this. Your traumas and such. He’s probably hero worshipping you and not realizing it. Perhaps if he saw you simply as Steve Rogers the man with PTSD and his own issues it might provide fair footing for you both.”
Just then Tony’s heart melted. The teary-eyed wistful smile that graced his view tore at Tony’s heart.
“Yeah? You think so Shellhead?” He asked hopeful a touch of Brooklynn accent pouring in.
“I do Cap.” Tony answered quietly. “C’mon. We should get back and brief the team, at least you should.”
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“I AM Ironman”
Tony awoke from his couch covered in sweat. It was the same dream. He was in front of news reporters like before upon his return from Afghanistan, but those words never came, not in awake life. He looked around bleary-eyed, panicky as the suit was in sitting position his lab chair. “Fuck...what should I do?” Tony breathed out.
“Stop lying to him Tony. It’s clear he loves you. Sooner or later he will find out that I am you. Luckily, he’ll understand.”
Tony stared at the suit. Stared at it like it just offended him. “Yeah...understand I’m fucking certifiable. Understand I only feel safe when I wear you, feel like I make a difference trying to do the right thing as Ironman.
The suit remained motionless. “Tony, you’ll save the world one day, until that day. Enjoy life. Try. We are always with you. Even without me encasing you. You’ll never stop until we’re protected. May as well find love along the way.”
Tony stared harder at his suit “You talk too much. Shut down”
“You don’t talk enough, wake up”. The suit stood itself up and walked itself to its resting vault per it’s owners commands.
“Sir, Captain Rogers wishes entry. How shall I proceed” JARVIS chimed in bringing Tony back to himself.
“Let him in J”
Tony heard the quiet *snick* sound of his lab doors opening. “Tony?” Not Stark, not Mr. Stark...Tony...Tony puffed up his cheeks with air looking momentarily like a hamster on a binger and let it out almost violently.
“Yeah Steve?”