Instinct

A humming. Gentle. Constant.

Erik wakes with its rhythm in his teeth.

A white blanket fills his vision. Two peaks rise beneath the linen. He stretches his toes. On the right. Then the left.

He smiles.

His left limb feels new. Feels right. It has always been his but now he can hear it. Can attune himself to its intricacies, to its movements. This is a new language he is learning to speak. His own body he is learning to decipher.

He gives his toes another curl.

Something moves against his hip and he turns slowly, stiffness still threaded through his neck.

Alex is slumped in a chair beside him. Asleep. His hand threaded through the blanket and resting at Erik’s side.

Fear and anger cut through his gut, rushing back. There are bruises lining Alex’s wrist, his throat, his cheek.

His face is calm in sleep. Undisturbed by the storm rising up in his father.

Erik breathes in. Breathes out. They are not back there. Shaw is not here. Frost is not here. He does not know how they are both here but it feels like they might be safe. Safety has been a rare commodity in his life. He does not want Alex to ever be as familiar as he is with its absence.

He reaches out, hand hovering over mussed hair and the bruise snaking down a pale cheek. His hand looms so big over Alex. It is not the same hand that shook him awake yesterday. Was it only yesterday?

He can hold elevators with this hand. Turn weapons. Tear things apart.

He finally has the impossible strength that every child imagines their father to have and he is terrified.

He is terrified to touch his son.

Emma called him a weapon and Raven…

Raven saw his danger.

He is dangerous.

His hand shakes but he cannot take it back, cannot reach the final distance.

Alex’s head turns slowly to face him, eyes drifting out of sleep.

He smiles before his eyes have even cleared.

“Dad.” His voice is rough, his eyes unfocused.

He glances in confusion at the hand paused just shy of him and blindly reaches out for it.

He misses, hand passing through thin air and landing instead on Erik’s chest. Erik is startled from his paralysis, a small laugh drawn from his chest. Alex is never good morning company and a flood of memories returns to him of a sleepy blonde head bouncing off the foam corners of their table, being cradled and steered to safety in his own hands.

He looks down at his chest, at the hand there. He brings his other hand up to rest on top of it. The hum fades away. There is no danger here.

His arms are suddenly full of Alex. Hugged from above. Clumsy, half awake arms wrapping around him. He brings his other arm up to rest across Alex’s shoulders and just lets himself hold his son. Reassure himself that he is safe.

“I love you.” Whispered into his ear.

The same is said through tears soaking into Alex’s shoulder.

When Alex pulls back, his eyes are focused and awake. He falls back into the chair, head falling back to rest against the small bedside table.

He gestures upwards with his eyes and Erik looks up, past the IV line tethered to his arm, to the fish bowl sitting on the table.

“Darwin brought you his fish. Thought you might like some intelligent company.” Alex says with a sly grin. His expression sobers quickly. “He’s ok, you know. Just a bit bruised.”

Erik nods, brushing a hand over the angry red lines on Alex’s own wrist.

“Where are we?” Erik asks.

Another voice answers from the doorway.

“A friend’s. A lot of people owe me favors you know.”

Raven.

She strides into the room carrying a tray of takeaway cups and brown paper bags. She hands a cup to Alex, meeting his eager hands halfway.

“Here. Have one before you run into something expensive.” She smiles fondly when he grins up at her around the cup’s rim, mumbling a thank you.

She turns to Erik, gaze calculating.

“How are you doing?” She asks, setting the tray down by his feet.

“Gaining a better appreciation for your handiwork.” He nudges the tray with his left foot.

Raven huffs in amusement, her eyebrow quirks promising there will be more questions later. Ones he will have to answer. But she gives him a reprieve for now. The easy toss of her shoulders assures him her trust in him is still intact. She is on his side. He should never have doubted her.

“Thank you.” He owes her a debt he can never repay. She has saved him again but this time she has also saved Alex. No words can convey the depth of his debt to her.

She nods, accepting his words. Her smile small and genuine. Then she turns and pelts a wrapped muffin at Alex with a laugh and a “think fast!”

There is movement at the door and Armando steps through, hugging the edge and lingering at the threshold.

He catches Erik’s gaze and nods in acknowledgement before his eyes flick to Alex, mid food fight with Raven.

Armando’s grin lights up his face and Erik is thankful for the laughter surrounding him. For the family surrounding him. He owes each of them a debt he can never put into words.

Armando with his steady quiet presence, watching like a guard at the door. Raven with her loyalty and courage, shielding his back and protecting that which is most precious to him.

Alex, who is bruised and tired but smiling with a lightness that has always been infectious.

This is his family.

He knows if he asks them to run with him they will.

He does not know where is safe. Who is looking. Where to go.

But he does know who to trust.

For now, that is enough.