It was late at night with James near the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. Everyone else was asleep, but he found himself not being able to sleep. His mind tended to wander and keep him up at night. Thoughts he suppressed in the day to try and focus would always resurface by eleven pm. Sitting near the fireplace until he felt tired enough to fall asleep wasn't out of the ordinary for him, oftentimes he would even fall asleep in the common room.
However, what wasn't normal was Lily taking a seat next to him. She was wrapped in a warm and cozy blanket despite being near the fireplace. She pulled his knees to her chest and rested her head against James' shoulder. She did this a lot around James, it went to show that she trusted him because she disliked most physical contact with anyone else but Mary, James, Remus, and Sirius. She let out a pleasant sigh, "Couldn't sleep. You?"
"You know me so well," James laughed, "Nights are the worst for me. What's your excuse?"
Lily shrugged, "Bored, I guess. And who better to liven up a room than James Fleamont Potter?"
James smiled and looked up at the ceiling. He tried thinking of a reply but his mind got cloudy with different topics from the day. Had he misplaced his wand? He forgot he even had one, but that's not his fault. Sometimes when he can't see an object, he forgets it even exists.
Lily frowned and looked at James, "What's going on in the ol' factory up there?"
Jame shrugged, "Just thinking."
"About what?" She asked.
"Everything," He smiled. He truly did feel like he was thinking of everything. That pretty girl he saw in the corridors, Remus looking handsome in his new robes, that pretty boy he saw in potions. Realistically, he knew that pretty boy was his best friend's brother but he shied away from that, especially since Regulus was his partner in potions for the next week.
"Let's talk about everything then," Lily laughed, moving her head off James' shoulder, "Here, lay down."
James laid down on the couch and Lily claimed her spot against his chest. Her head dipped a bit into his chest since she was looking up at the ceiling but James didn't fuss. He just rested his head on her and wrapped his arms around her. She let her arms rest against his and hummed softly. She and James did this often; Cuddle buddies was their nickname given to them by Sirius once everyone started asking if the pair were finally dating. The group was always quick to dismiss it with, "No, they're just cuddle buddies," and, "People can be platonically intimate."
"What's first up on your list of everything?" Lily asked.
James thought to himself for a moment. Pretty people passed through his mind; That one girl who asked him out last week. They went out on a date on Monday and James thought it went pretty well. James thought she was pretty, but he also thought that their waiter was pretty too. He thought that Regulus was especially pretty, and his voice was nice. He liked how Regulus explained things. It was much different from James' own rambling.
He tilted his head, "You have nice boys running after you all the time. You know, flirting with you, grabbing your books for class, lending you an extra feather pen," he paused, "How do you know who to choose? How do you know who's the right one? How do you distinguish attractive from attracted?"
"I just don't choose," she said truthfully.
"Why not? Is it hard for you to choose?" James questioned.
"No, it's definitely not hard. I just can't choose between boys," she thought about her next words, "If I was able to choose, I would've chosen you. You know, when you were one of those nice boys chasing after me. You were very pretty."
"Were?" James laughed a bit.
"Are," Lily clarified.
"Then why couldn't you love me back if you found me pretty?" James let his thoughts get the better of him, he couldn't control what was spewing from his mouth now.
"Because I just simply can't love you like that James," she offered him a melancholic smile, "I wish I could, but I just can't."
"Why not?" James asked, wrapping his arms around her a bit tighter. He slumped under her.
"You're not particularly my type," she laughed. She knew where this conversation was gonna end up, but she liked dragging out James' thoughts. She knew it would make him tired and make him fall asleep sooner. It was a small thing she did whenever she saw James having an especially hard time falling asleep.
"What is your type?" James asked curiously.
"Mary Macdonald," Lily said bluntly and without any hesitation.
James' eyebrows furrowed together and then he gasped a bit, "Oh. Oh, oh, oh," he said as he laughed, "I'm sorry for not realizing sooner. God, Lily why did you let me spend all that time chasing after you."
"It was a bit cute, and I liked you carrying my books," Lily confessed, also laughing, "So what's your type?"
James quieted himself a bit as he thought to himself. That one blonde girl in his defense against the dark arts class today, that one guy on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, that new person in his herbology class, Remus, Sirius. They were all pretty. Regulus was especially pretty. James liked his hair and how it was a bit curlier than Sirius'. He also liked Regulus' eyes.
James shrugged, "I think everyone is pretty."
"Everyone?" Lily asked.
"Mhm," James nodded, "Girls, boys, everyone. Doesn't matter really. I think everyone is pretty. I think I could love anyone."
"Do you love someone, though?" Lily's thoughts were now the ones that weren't being filtered.
"I think I'm falling for Regulus," James nodded, "Sirius would kill me if I told him."
Lily laughed so loud she had to slap a hand over her mouth in case she woke anyone up.
"Stop, it's not that funny!" James laughed with her.
"Well, I mean, Sirius would definitely kill you. Might even crucio you," she smiled, "But what do you like about Regulus?"
"I like how he speaks differently than me. You know, I ramble and he's so collected and straightforward, except for when he's around Rosier and Crouch. I've noticed he uses a bit more sarcasm around them. But I like it, and his voice, and when he speaks French. He curses in French, did you know that? I also like his hair and his eyes. His handwriting is pretty nice too, much better than mine. His potions are much better than mine too, but I'm his partner for potions this week so I guess I can learn from him firsthand. I think I like being his partner a lot because I like it when he explains things to me, he doesn't get annoyed with me like Remus does when I don't understand something. At least, if he does get annoyed, he's really good at hiding it," James smiled, his face heating up as he spoke about the younger Black brother. Yeah, James definitely rambled and Regulus was definitely calm and collected.
"That's really sweet, James," Lily said, admiring the soft look in James' eye. He used to get that look when he was around her. She's happy to see it again, especially since it wasn't at her this time.
"What do you like about Mary?" He asked.
"I love her eyes," she said, letting herself settle against James' chest as he thought about Mary, "and her soft skin. I like her hair too, especially when she puts gold cuffs in it. I like her makeup too. She does this thing with the glittery shades and it looks really nice in the corner of her eyes. Mostly, I think that I just love her."
"Do you think she loves you too?"
Lily nodded and smiled to herself, "I kissed her last week and we have a date tomorrow," her heart warmed just thinking about it. She wasn't at all nervous, but butterflies flew around in her stomach. She and Mary were going to have a great time tomorrow, she knew it. She and Mary have had romantic tension for so long and she's happy to finally have this chance with her.
James smiled and kissed the top of Lily's head, "I hope you guys have an amazing date. Tell me all about it when it's over."
"I'll tell you about it if you ask Regulus out," She poked fun at James.
James shrugged and frowned, "I don't think he likes me that way. The way he looks at me isn't the way that girls who ask me out look at me."
Lily flicked his forehead, "Those girls look at you with hunger and want, James. You're one of the best Quidditch players at our school, you're nearly as good as Marls and she's the captain. Your name is the most talked about in school, you have money, and you're attractive. Of course, Regulus won't look at you the same as those girls."
"But what if he likes girls? Only girls?" James frowned and rubbed at his forehead.
"Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. Maybe he doesn't even know he likes you. I mean, how did you know that you liked boys and not just girls?" Lily asked, not expecting a response. It was a rhetorical question aiming to make a point, but James just raised his head to the ceiling and thought to himself.
"Sirius and I practiced kissing together in third year. We thought that it wasn't weird because we were best friends and it's not like we were homophobic. I just thought that Sirius was a really good kisser, but then I kissed Remus too and something clicked. Honest to God, I felt butterflies," James laughed recalling the memories.
"You had a crush on Remus in third year?" She asked, nearly shocked.
"Just a little one, but I mean, come on. It's Moony, who didn't have a crush on him?" James rolled his eyes and smiled.
"Well, be Regulus' Remus. It can't hurt to ask him out. At least ask him to just hang out as friends," Lily smiled, turning in James' grasp to face him, "Make a little sacrifice and hang out with him, Crouch, and Rosier if you can't get him alone. Be a good little chaser and treat it like Quidditch practice." She held in a laugh at her own joke.
"Oh my God, Lils," James laughed, "That was so stupid."
"It was clever and you know it," She smirked.
They stayed cuddling for a little while, James running a hand up and down Lily's back and Lily playing with James' curls. It was nice and peaceful.
"I'll ask him tomorrow," James yawned, "If you stay with me while I sleep. If I get up to go to my dorm, I'm not gonna be able to sleep."
"Deal," Lily smiled and spread her blanket over both of them. She snuggled against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.
"Goodnight, cuddle buddy," Lily laughed.
"Goodnight," James laughed, "Platonic cuddle buddy."