Tattoos
The first one he gets is a monkey.
A little simple monkey on the left side of his ribcage to remind him of Leo. He missed him so much with his science babble, his constant appetite and this ridiculous obsession with monkeys no one ever quite understood. He lost him forever when he almost drowned him. It was never meant to kill him but that didn't matter now.
There was no way to change the past no matter how much he wanted to. If there had been he would have done it in an instant, no matter the price.
But there wasn't.
A bird sits on his right shoulder blade.
A small, pretty, fragile bird, just like Jemma. If it was alive it would sing just as beautifully as Jemma does when she thinks she’s alone and no one can hear her. Small, pretty, fragile Jemma tried to kill him but that was alright. In the end it was his own fault and after all he did he deserved dying even though having to stay alive hurt more than dying probably ever could.
His bird was a reminder for what he deserved.
There is a tree on his left calf for his past.
The tree itself is empty and contains no life just like his family left him empty and drained the life out of him. It’s a part of him and even now, after all these years, he could feel the pain and the desperation.
Only two little leaves are hanging on the lower branches, his younger brother and his sister. He had loved them more than he loved himself, had tried to protect then, had failed them and lost them forever just like everyone else he loved.
The trees root was all grey and rotten so even Garrett found a place on his skin. As much as he would love to forget everything that happened in the woods, how Garrett made him hurt all the people he loved, he needed to learn to live with the choices he made for John.
A mask is on the left side of his lower back.
For the woman who lost her face but never gave up her search for herself. She continued to fight for herself, her future and his.
Even though he lost Kara as well she gave him so much in the short time they had together. His own hands made him loose her and he will never forgive himself for taking her future away from her. She was the strongest person he had ever met, so different from himself.
He will remember her for the rest of his life as the person who gave him a chance and loved him when no one else could.
Skye is on his chest, right above his heart, in the shape of a puzzle piece.
‘Pieces solving a puzzle’, that’s what she said to him all this time ago on the bus. It has been one of these moments he should have been honest with himself and realize what he felt for her. These feelings he had for her will never go away, no matter how much time passed. If he had solved this puzzle earlier maybe he would have had enough strength to make better decisions but he had been afraid to loose what he never had.
And now he lost everything anyway.
The ink on his chest will always remind him how he loved, how it felt to be happy. And he wished for her to be happy more than anything in the world even when it won’t be with him.
He will remember to be better.
The last one he gets is a compass.
It’s covering the inside of his right wrist now so he can see it at all times.
It’s leading the way.
His way.
Guiding him to stay on the right path when he was walking in the wrong direction his whole life But not this time. This time he will be his own compass, taking his life in his own hands and going his own way without anyone to follow. He will choose his own way instead of going where he is told to. His future is his and his alone.
The compass reminds him that he is a human being with feelings, dreams, flaws and an own will.
The compass stands for Grant.