Steve’s not transphobic—really, he’s not—but he doesn’t see the difference between being gay and being trans. Call him old-fashioned—he’s from the ‘40s—but he doesn’t get it.
Which is why he’s the only one who takes it badly when Bruce says he has a vagina.
“Are you sure you’re not just really gay?” Steve asks and the whole table goes silent.
“Steve, I’ve been living as a man for the past twenty years. I’m pretty sure I’d have noticed if I was ‘just really gay.’”
“Did anyone catch him up on the difference between sex and gender?” Tony asks. Steve shakes his head. “In terms everyone understands, sex is what’s in your pants. Gender is who you feel you are in your heart.” Everyone groans at how Tony phrased that.
“What’s the difference between that and sexual orientation?” Steve asks.
“Sexual orientation is about who you like. Gender is who you are,” Natasha says.
“And there are more than two gender identities,” Tony says.
“Tony, don’t try to explain this to him now,” Bruce says. “He only just started to understand the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity.”
“Okay,” Tony says. “But pronouns! Always respect people’s preferred pronouns. And if you aren’t sure about someone’s pronouns, ask them.”