Nothing is Sacred

Loki took a few minutes to calm him down. Banner offered him tea, and Loki respectfully declined. He felt like if he ate or drank anything he would immediately throw it up.

When Loki felt calmer he went upstairs with Banner.

“Is Thor back?” Loki asked Steve calmly.

Steve took one look at Loki’s pale face and called, “Thor!”

“Yes Steven?” Thor said as he walked into the room.

But then he too saw Loki’s pale face and his shivery form.

“Loki?” Thor was instantly at Loki’s side. Holding his upper arms and looking into his eyes. “What is wrong?”

Loki was silent.

“We found some abnormalities on the x-ray.” Banner sent a pointed look at Steve. “We need to discuss this in private.”

Steve took one wide eyed glance at them before he was excusing himself and leaving.

“What is it?” Thor asked in a hysteric voice.

“I—“ Loki started before he closed his eyes and looked away. “I am not a human.”

Thor’s eyes were wide. “You aren’t.” He said quietly.

Loki nodded. “What am I Thor?” He asked in a very quiet voice. “My brain is stronger than a human’s, my heart has six chambers, I have horns, and I have a uterus.”

Loki had to cover his mouth and look away when he said the last word. Uterus. He had one. He could give birth to someone. He wasn’t even a ‘he’ anymore. He was a freak.

“You are intersexed.” Thor said. “And it is completely normal for a Frost Giant.”

Loki closed his eyes and held his head. “And what, is a Frost Giant?”

“It is a being native to Jotunheim. You are from that realm, not Asgard.”

Loki looked at Thor then. His mind swirling with questions. “If I am not from Asgard, then why did Asgard’s Queen know me?”

“You grew up on Asgard. You only found out your heritage recently, as it had been kept a secret before. I did not want to tell you too early for fear you would dismiss me even faster. But the form you hold now is not your true appearance.”

Loki looked down at himself. “What do I look like then?”

“Frost Giants have blue skin and red eyes. Enchantments from Odin keep you in your current state. And it is fine, either way you look you are loved.”

Loki massaged his head. “This is madness.” He murmured.

Thor stretched a hand out and set it on Loki’s thigh. The heat of it burned through the fabric of Loki’s pant and warmed his skin.

Loki looked into his genuine blue eyes.

“There is no reason to fear being a Frost Giant.” Thor said seriously. “I will always love you no matter what form you take. Even if you disbelieve everything else I have told you, please remember that I will always love you.”

Loki had a sense of recognition. There. There was something familiar to this.

Loki turned his head and looked into Thor’s face.

It almost seemed like Thor was talking to the Loki he knew, and not the one sitting in front of him. Was this something Thor was repeating to him?

“What does it all mean?” Loki asked. “Why would I be in Asgard, if I’m not Asgardian? How did I get to be here? You have to know what you propose is flawed and hard to believe? How can I believe what you say? You could be exploiting me!”

“I would never hurt you. I have spent a thousand years protecting you Loki. This will be no different.” Thor said. “I love you.”

“Did I know before?” Loki asks. Did he know before he erased the memories, even if he didn’t completely believe that he had done that to himself?

“You did.” Thor said.

“I just don’t understand.” Loki admitted in the quiet of the room. “Why would I do that to myself? How do you really know me? What am I?”

“You are Loki.” Thor said. He took Loki’s hands in his and looked him in the eye. “All will be well. I promise.”

“If I am the God of Mischief, then why do you care about me?” Loki asked. “You should be happy to be rid of me.”

“I’ve spent years looking for you.” Thor said quietly. “I’ll follow you anywhere. Like I promised when we were children.”

And then Thor wrapped his arms around Loki and held him in a hug. And Loki felt himself sighing and leaning into Thor’s bulk. It felt nice to be held.

“But why would you love a freak?” Loki asked.

“Because you are not a freak. You are my br- my beloved.” Thor said.

Loki was still too overwhelmed to notice the correction. What did all this mean? Did it mean that Thor was right? Was Loki really the God of myth?

The implications swirled, but Loki couldn’t ponder them for long as the door opened and Banner and Steve stepped in.

“Thor! Someone is coming through the bi-frost.” They said.

Thor’s arms tightened around Loki for just a second. He held Loki closer and pressed his lips against Loki’s neck, just a faint chaste kiss that sent shivers down Loki’s back. Then he stood up and went to the window.

“I would receive warning from Heimdall if it were an expected visitor.” Thor said.

Loki was still sitting but he stood up and went to the window. Trying his hardest not the think about the fact that Thor kissed him. “Do you think it will be dangerous?” Loki asked.

“I am afraid so.” Thor said quietly. He turned to Loki. “You must stay here.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think you get to say that to me.” He said.

“Please Loki.” Thor said.

“Thor, there’s two people.” Steve said. He had a phone up to his ear. “Two women. Dark hair on one, light hair on the other. Blonde is in green.” He looked at Thor. “Does that ring a bell?”

Thor’s intake of air was quick. “Indeed. They are sorceresses from Asgard.” He said. “Karnilla and Amora. It is not a good sign that they are working together.”

“Have they worked together before?” Loki asked.

“Aye. They tried to start a revolution and overthrow Odin All-Father. They are responsible for many deaths and much mayhem.” Thor said. “I have my own reasons to hate them.”

Thor’s voice was dark and angry when he talked about them. “Did they know me too?” Loki asked.

Thor faced Loki then. “They did. And for as powerful as they were, they were never able to beat you.” He said. “You needn’t fear them.”

“Except for the fact that I can’t use magic.” Loki reminded him.

“That is why you must stay here. I know not what they want, but if they have escaped prison then it cannot be good.” Thor said. “Steven, I fear that we must assemble.”

Steve nodded and left.

Loki grabbed Thor’s arm. “So you’re just going to go fight them, and I have to wait here.” He said.

Thor nodded and took Loki’s hand in his. “You cannot face them. It is far too dangerous.” Thor said. “I cannot bear to see you hurt again. Please stay here until it is safe.”

“But it’s not fair!” Loki said. “Why should I have to stay here, you’re not a magician! It won’t be safe for you to right them either!”

“I am an Avenger. I promised to protect this realm. And I must do so. Especially when you are a part of it. You don’t remember, but I promised to always protect you. And I intend to keep that promise.”

“But Thor!” Loki said quietly.

“I will return.” Thor said. “And we can have honey cakes. They’re your favorite.”

Loki laughed wetly. And realized that he was crying. What was wrong with him? He shouldn’t care if Thor was marching off to his death, he barely knew the guy!

Thor brushed Loki’s tears away. “All will be well.” Thor said. “I promise.”

And then Thor leaned down and pressed his lips against Loki’s. Loki closed his eyes and returned the kiss, one of his hands going to tangle in Thor’s hair.

Thor’s hands went to Loki’s hips and rested over the sharp bones as he gently pulled Loki closer. His huge hands were warm and large and somewhat comforting.

Thor had just deepened the kiss when Clint walked in.

“I hate to interrupt, but we need you out there big guy.” Clint said and then he was gone.

They separated and Thor looked at Loki. “I love you.” He murmured.

Loki reluctantly let Thor go. Unable to figure out where the fear that Thor would be hurt was emanating from. Why did it matter so much if Thor were hurt?

Thor told Loki to be safe, and that he would be back soon. And Loki nodded. Trying to contain himself until Thor left.

Loki watched Thor go with a heavy heart.

Once he was alone in the tower Loki went into the bathroom. He put his shaky hands under the sink faucet and let warm water wash over them. This was all insane. Loki had just made out with Thor, and he had a uterus and was definitely not human. And Thor called him a frost giant and what did that mean?

But above it all Loki was wondering why he would do this to himself. Why would he erase his own memories? Wouldn’t that just cause problems? Why wasn’t he thinking about the future at all?

Loki was looking down at the sink and his knuckles were white where they were holding onto the edge. Who was he? And why would he do this?

Loki looked up into the mirror and his eyes opened in shock.

His reflection was different.

But it was also… the same.

The person standing in the mirror was definitely him. But it was a him with a different outfit on.

Loki blinked as he looked at the alien reflection. He had longer hair, and the clothing was something Loki thought he would see in a fantasy movie. It was gold and green and had a lot of leather and layers. It looked to be very high quality though.

But the face. The face in the mirror was his. There was no doubt about it. The only difference was the eyes, the Loki in the mirror had deeper set eyes. He seemed older than him. Wiser.

The look on the other Loki’s face was one Loki knew well. His reflection looked haughty and mischievous. Like he knew everything. No matter the outcome of any situation, he was ready. Because he had prepared for it in advance and nothing could stop him.

Loki himself had made that face before. When he was debating creationists and knew that his next point would obliterate their debate completely. When he knew that he was right and would most likely make someone squirm and a few people cry.

This was him. But different.

Loki was struck with a thought. Was this the other him?

He looked into his reflection’s eyes and the other Loki cocked his head almost fondly at him. Like he was mocking him. This person seemed extremely powerful, and Loki was starting to understand why Thor had loved him.

The reflection must have sensed that he was thinking about Thor because his face turned fond. He smiled at Loki and extended his hand to the glass.

Loki reached his own hand out and touched the glass right at the same spot as the reflection. And before his very eyes, a mixture of the green ‘seidr’ from before and ice spread out onto the glass. Loki removed his finger and it stopped.

The other Loki was smirking at him again. But this time it seemed more fond than mischievous.

A voice spoke into Loki’s mind then.

Go save him.