1
Charles figured out Erik was gone missing while he was having an old ladies chitchat with Moira in Sunday early afternoon which meant all babbles about new paper works and teaching schedules complaint kept him out for half a day until he was about to show Erik off to her.
“I picked up a stray cat in nearby the river a week ago. I suspected he had been through a tough fight with Mr. Shaw’s dog because all bruises and cut are so deep. And I decided to pet him,” he put down the tea cup. “We had been growing fond of each other and I named him Erik. He is amazing.”
Moira frowned, “that’s a strange name for a cat. Sound like a German.”
“I think he’s got some traits from his look, stern and reserved but beautiful otherwise,” he said, proudly “I will call him out for you.”
Charles got up and called his cat, but there is only silence in response. He was confused, then looked around the house and saw no sign of a living creature.
“Where is he?” Charles’s face fell as he walked from the living room where they had been sitting to another room to search for the dark figure, expected him to jump out or ran to him as he always did to let Charles fondle but he found none.
Moira went after him, looking curious by his concern, “Maybe he’s playing with some butterflies outside?”
So Charles opened the back door, and that was the moment he met the pale eyes in the tree branches glaring at him motionlessly, “there you are Erik!” He almost stepped out into the backyard, the only space between him and Erik, with bare feet then he saw the cat retreated back, startled with ears pointed up and was still glaring at him, accusingly. He looked at Charles with hurt and threatening look.
“Is something wrong, dear?” Charles asked Erik but the answer he got was a hiss, not a friendly purr as he usually did.
Moira stood beside him and looked as confused as Charles but more sensible. “Maybe he was afraid of me, I heard that cats are too choosy and they can recognize person by the scent.”
“But I saw him around while we were occupied in talks, then after that,” Charles’s memories trailed along all incidents happened between but couldn’t come up with any explanation why Erik just growled at him savagely as if Charles was his rival.
“Just wait until he came down from the tree, I think.” Moira patted his shoulder, “It’s gonna be alright.”
Charles only sighed and his mind was wandering what did he do to Erik that made all bonding they made together seemed to vanish at once. He stood there at the threshold for fifteen minutes then stepped back into the room, the heart burdened with an unanswered question.
2
By 3 p.m. Moira excused herself to leave earlier than unusual because she sensed the uneasiness oozing from Charles. Erik still stayed in after the branches with the eyes lurking around and his body stiffened without making any movement to come down.
A half an hour Raven came by to borrow Frida DVD for her film studies class and was a little stunned when she saw him sitting cross-legged on the backyard, looking up to the tree.
“Charles, what the hell is going on?”
“Erik didn’t want to come down from the tree,” the voice was almost shaking, in the verge of tears. “I just don’t understand why he does that.”
Oh, Raven knew that infamous cat Charles introduced her a week ago and kept in her mind that it looked monstrous than fiercely attractive as Charles described with those black feature and pale blue eyes. It never meowed to seek attention, but quiet and so collect. That cat was also weird because it approached her with a cautious step, like it was calculating, well, as if it could calculate the person in front of in every move, or even it was trained to be mysterious, hard to be tamed and better not to be trusted.
“It’s a cat instinct, Raven. Erik had been through a lot of fights. I guess he had been abused by Shaw’s Rottweilers or even Shaw himself.” Charles rubbed Erik as it stayed on his lap, still eyeing on her, its tail unmoving.
Raven didn’t argue anymore even she felt calling that cat with an actual person’s name was creepy. She knew it was pointless to argue with Charles who basically couldn’t see anything beyond his point and can became stubbornly self-righteous some times.
But this time, when that evil cat proved that there’s no such a thing bonded between the animal and Charles who was desperate to adopt this cat and make a lonesome living forever like an old virgin man in tweeds until the rest of his life. Raven needed to do something about it, so she decided to intervene.
“I’m sure it is his animal instinct to stay like that. You accepted once it can’t be tamed. I mean, how can he know you’re waiting for him down there? It’s a stray cat, Charles. It might not even be taught to love the owner. ”
Charles winced, “No, Erik can understand me. He doesn’t protest all along. He likes me to read Genetics thesis. He purrs when I pet him and keep him in bed.”
“For fuck’s sake, Charles,” Raven sighed with disbelief. “My point is, you can’t understand animals even you think you do. All you did is thinking for him, put your desperate self into it and made a delusional image for that stupid cat. Seriously, you’re desperate for someone -- ”
“Erik understands me even we can’t talk to each other. And you just hate him because his look isn’t appealing to you.” Charles said firmly. Now he turned back to Raven, his face was stern and he was so upset.
“What’s going on?”
There is a man looking over the fence between the tree and backyard. It was Hank, one of Charles’s neighbors. If he was not in the moment, Charles would wonder why Hank always showed up when Raven visited him but right now he was not in the mood for even greeting him.
It was Raven, now brightened up, who answered his question, “Charles’s cat is on the tree and Charles insists waiting for it until the world’s end but I tell him to get a life.”
Hank almost smiled with his lips curls but he decided to be reserved, politely he asked, “Well, in the case the cat’s stuck in the tree, you know. jump up but too frightened to climb down. It happened many times.”
Charles’s face was softened, “I hope it ended like that unless Erik had mastery in life skills. He was a stray cat before he was mine. I don’t want to approach him because he might think I’m threatening him, but thanks anyway.”
Behind him, Raven looked fed up but she didn’t say anything offensive this time. Hank looked subtle but didn’t leave. He stood behind fence, weighing each foot awkwardly.
“Why don’t you come up and have some tea? I have some after my friend left too early,” Charles invited.
The boy’s face lit up and he was too late to hide his eager look when he nodded slowly.
“I’ll go to walk him here,” Raven said quickly before Charles got up himself. Charles was confused by her action but didn’t refuse even Hank was his guest.
So they spent the afternoon unexpectedly under the balcony in the backyard. Raven tried to smooth the roughness between two of them by telling the jokes in her acting class that made Hank laugh too much. Charles only smiled and forgave her harsh excuse even his mind was clouded with dismay. An hour passed and Erik still purposely denied him.
3
Two boys in Hank’s age looked over the tree, “is that a cat?” one of them said loudly that made Charles turned to look. They were Alex and Sean, the other local boys who lived in a college dorm around. Both of them were Charles’s students in the freshmen. They got close to Charles and still hang around to fondly torment him with dirty jokes about girls and teased his old professor look.
Then Sean offered to help, “Do you want me to get him for you, prof?”
“No, it would frighten him. I don’t want to lose him if he leaps from the tree and free.”
“He can’t if we trap him at once,” Alex said, “Sean will get him down, then if he jumps down I will be here to catch him. He can’t get away that easy.”
Charles smiled tiredly, “Thanks but what’s the point to have a cat that’s terrified the owner. I don’t want to build a cage, I him to have a home.”
The boys look taken aback but resumed their casual look quick enough to say good luck to him and passed by.
“They will think you’re crazy,” Raven observed.
I don’t care, Charles thought but he was too tired to argue her.
4
Raven left by 5 p.m. and Hank, remembering he had to do some stuff at home excused himself too. Erik was now nowhere to be found when Charles looked up to the tree and didn’t see the black cat staring back at him.
It was his last chance to search for Erik but Charles couldn’t find him. The worst and most possible case was Erik finally, after all the week spending as his pet, decided that living with Charles was not for him and left him for good.
But Charles couldn’t bring himself to believe that all intimacy he and Erik had together was gone with a sudden act. If only he could think as Erik and see the reason of all this?
But seriously, how could he? Maybe Raven was right that Charles was so lonely and all was made up in his delusional mind. He was so long for a relationship but too scared to form any and Erik was right there for him to take care of even though he was just a cat.
My life probably lacks of meaningat all, Charles shut his eyes, as swimming into the thirtieth life crisis. It was all wrong, I should start get a life, as Raven said. I’d probably go out, doing something normal people do. Don’t think about my work or my cat—
Something popped out in his head and cut through all gibberish. Charles opened his eyes and squinted. The answer that Erik left him was always there all along. Charles rushed into the back door again and stumbled onto the backyard. The sun was already set and cast shadow of the tree across the house.
“I’m so sorry, my friend,” he was laughing, almost maniacally if someone caught him talking to an empty space like a mad man. “I think I know the reason why you behave strange this day. When I want to show you off to Moira, I said you’re my cat that I came to rescue and I know it’s not a humble conduct. I also told Raven that you understands and likes me with my self-centric nature. Blame my human nature, then. I’m so used to treating you as a pet, not as an equal term and I think that’s why you left me.”
Now, Charles couldn’t hold on a sob. This was crazy and at the same time, Charles thought furiously, the enlightenment through a soul-searching journey in the backyard, “but forgive me my friend, but I mean it when I said I want you to feel home. I see those people did to you and it was so unfair. You were hurt badly and I just, with you I could have someone to look after.
“It was me, always me who can’t stand being alone and treated you as a substitute for what I want myself to be. I just want to be loved and understood and that’s all, Erik, you know that.”
The wind that passed the leaves falling down on the ground and there was still no sign of Erik.
5
Charles woke up in the darkness, his throat dried and he tried to swallow it down. Then without opening his eyes, Charles noticed there was something moving around his room.
He must have frightened if Charles didn’t get familiar with Erik’s lurking habit in the night. When he hadn’t recovered from the wounds, Charles rarely got a full-night sleep when Erik walked around his room, whining and fussing over to leave as if he was trapped in here.
Now it was Erik who tried not to make a scene when he slowly moved in his bed. The paws took some weight onto Charles’s legs but he didn’t want to wake him and stayed there, curling into a dark fluffy ball and went to sleep next to him. Then he was silent.
Charles’s lips curled into a smile, “welcome back, Erik.” He said and fell to sleep a second after that.