Chapter 1
Clint flinched awake from another nightmare. Tonight had just not been a good night for him; this was the third nightmare in less than four hours. Clint thought of Natasha, of how when he had a nightmare (which was frequently), she would be there to shake him awake, to talk it through and to stop him from torturing himself with the past. But Natasha had been gone for the last three months on an undercover mission in Russia under orders to infiltrate, gather intelligence then burn a Hydra compound to the ground.
Clint accepted that he wasn’t going to sleep tonight. Sighing heavily, he rolled out of bed, got dressed and made his way to the lift.
“Where to Mr Barton?” asked Jarvis. The AI had taken a while for Clint to get used to: bar very few people, Clint wasn’t used to being helped.
“The range please Jarvis. Is there any news from Tasha?”
“She checked in with SHIELD about an hour ago Mr Barton. Apart from that, I know nothing sir.”
Clint sighed heavily. He hadn’t been allowed to talk to Tasha while she was on this mission, Fury had claimed something about the risk of compromising her being too high. Which Clint didn’t believe for a minute. It was probably more to do with the fact that Fury was still mad that Clint and Natasha got married without even telling him. Phil had only found out two months ago and because of his position within the agency, he was forced to tell Fury. Clint didn’t blame Phil of course, it was more than his job was worth to keep it from Fury. Which is why Clint and Natasha had kept it from him.
Clint rode the rest of the lift in uncomfortable silence.
Once Clint reached the right floor, he thanked Jarvis and got off. He got out his bow and arrows then started shooting. He didn’t stop until his arms ached. Then he started on a punching bag, beating all of his frustration into it. Then he completed the parkour course. Then he threw knives. Then he went to the sparring mats and pretended he was fighting Tasha. Then he collapsed, exhausted, and he slept.
Steve found Clint asleep on the sparring mats the next morning and woke him so he could struggle through the day. Then he could face his nightmares and escape to the training rooms again each night. And so Clint’s life carried on in this routine. Until one day it didn’t.
Clint was watching ‘The Breakfast Club’ with Steve in an attempt to help him get up to date with pop culture. Clint had seen it so many times that he could recite all the words but Steve was absorbed into the film, so much so that he didn’t notice when Clint’s phone started playing the itsy bitsy spider. This slightly panicked Clint as it was Tasha’s personalised ringtone. Of course he wasn’t going to reject her call, so he answered.
“Nat? Are you okay? Are you hurt? What’s up?”
“Barton shut up and listen. I’ve been compromised. They’re going to torture me but I can take it. I’m going in for more intel. If you’re not fast, they will kill me. I have a tracker in my molar implant but I’m not sure how long that will stay in my mouth. I love you.” Then Natasha hung up and Clint was left listening to an empty dial tone. It took him a minute to register what had just happened but as soon as he comprehended it, Clint was assembling the team and notifying SHIELD. While he didn’t doubt Natasha could take it, he didn’t want to risk anything.