Deadpool/Agent X - "Are You Drunk?"
“Are you drunk?”
“What’s it to you?” Alex slurred.
Wade shrugged. “Just wondering. Come on, Sandi’s paying me to get you back home.”
“Outlaw dumped me,” Alex moaned.
“So I’ve heard.” He groaned as he slung Alex’s arm over his shoulder to lead him out of the bar. “Guess she finally came to her senses. Classy girl like that.”
“You know her breasts weren’t real?” Alex lamented.
“Pretty things rarely are,” Wade told him as he chucked him into the passenger seat of his (totally not stolen) car.
Alex moaned. “Neither was her hair. She was all lies.”
“Why do I have to listen to your drunk ramblings?” Wade complained as he started driving. “You’re not even supposed to be able to get drunk.”
“I’m supposed to be dead too,” Alex added, melancholic.
“Wish you were,” Wade retorted.
“You’re supposed to be nice to heartbroken people.”
“I was agreeing with you.”
“What am i supposed to do now?”
Wade shrugged. “Get drunk and fuck someone.”
“Done the first part.” He jolted up in his seat and tossed Wade a flirty look. “I guess I’ll start on the second part.”
Wade’s eyes widened. “Not on me,” he protested.
Alex grinned. “It was your idea,” he purred. “Aren’t you curious?”
Wade had been a bit curious…