Captain America/Iron Man - "I Did A Pregnancy Test"
“I did a pregnancy test.”
Steve blinked himself awake, to where Tony was hovering over him. “What?” Steve asked.
“A pregnancy test,” Tony whispered to him, eyes wide with fear.
“And?” Steve prompted.
Tony collapsed onto him. “We’re pregnant!” he moaned.
Steve patted him on the back reassuringly. “There, there.” He closed his eyes and tried to think. He was in fight mode in the moment, he needed to think logically. His heart was racing at the implications. “How are you pregnant?”
“When a daddy super-soldier loves a mummy-scientist-”
Steve made a noise. “How did you get pregnant?”
Tony rubbed his head against Steve’s chest. “I don’t know, maybe that time in the lab…”
Steve frowned to himself, and made Tony look at him. “Tony,” he said slowly. “What magic got you pregnant?”
“Magic?” Tony blinked at him.
“Tony.” Steve said. “You’re a guy.”
Tony frowned. “So?”
Steve sat up and pulled Tony into his lap. “You do realise you can’t get pregnant, right? Not without some outside force.”
Tony gave him a confused look. “But JARVIS said-”
“I may have been slightly misleading in my results,” the AI chimed in.
Tony’s head jerked. “What?”
“You have not slept in almost four days, or eaten in two. I was..concerned.”
Tony jumped off the bed. “So you told me I was pregnant??”
“It was a test of your wits. I’m afraid to say you failed. If you had been in your right mind, you would have noticed the error immediately.”
Tony gaped at the ceiling. Then he let out a high-pitched whine.
Steve tried to suppress a laugh.
Tony glared at him. “This was a set-up.”
Steve nodded solemnly. “So I see.”
Tony growled at him.
Steve ran a hand through Tony’s hair. “Maybe you should get some sleep,” he suggested. “So you won’t be fooled the next time JARVIS decides to mess with your head.”
Tony scowled and slipped into bed. “I hate all of you,” he mumbled.