Chapter 2
It never should have happened. Missions never went sour. Maybe for normal agents... but he wasn't normal.
Nikolai made his way to the pre-determined extraction point one mile from Barton's property line, after a few minutes spent losing Hawkeye from his tail.
You only succeeded because of her. Now you're nothing. Nik gritted and teeth and shook his head. No. I'm the best goddamn agent HYDRA has. …I am...
Taking a deep breath, Nik pulled out a burner phone, dialing the number he wished he'd never have to use. The phone was answered before the first ring ended, and the voice on the other end was familiar – and just the voice he didn’t want to hear. "Sir?"
"Grand Duchess is down. Requesting immediate extraction."
"Sir, you specifically said–"
"Did I stutter, Agent Larson? "
"N-no, sir. Extraction on it's way."
Twenty minutes later, a rope ladder dropped down in front of Nik. He jumped, grabbing hold of a lower rung as a couple agents pulled him up and into the quinjet.
"Where's the Grand Duchess?" called Larson from across the way, his voice far too eager for Nik's liking. He suppressed the urge to jump up and strangle the bastard. It wasn't the first time he'd caught the lustful tone in the agent's voice.
For once, Nik found the strength to ignore him. "Return to base."
His orders were quickly obeyed, and the quinjet crew gave him a wide berth. Nik ignored them, sitting on the bench along the wall. He wouldn’t put his head in his hands, no matter how he felt; he refused to let the cannon-fodder see him in a less than perfect state.
Even staring blankly at the opposite wall, though, his mind tried to play tricks on him. The things he refused to think about kept crawling in from the edges.
Ana, crumpling to the ground. Ana, waking with a blank expression, so unnatural on a face that was always sharp and cunning. Ana, telling him to go.
Fuck. Telling him to go.
It’s back upon him before he can blink.
Nik watched in horror as the bullets ripped through his twin's body. He screamed out in agony as her body went limp and collapsed to the ground, her hand reaching uselessly towards him as she fell. Except – no, it wasn't Ana, it was Lillian, his Lilli, laying lifeless as her face veil flickered and seemed to disappear. "No. Please no," he whispered.
He didn't realize he was crying until a soft, familiar voice came from behind him. "Cut it out, Ivanov."
Nik whirled, knife at the ready and heart pounding – only to have that heart shatter. There his twin stood, arm wrapped around that disgusting grunt’s waist, Agent Larson. "Ana, what–"
"No one needs you, Nik.” She said it with a smile, one that spoke only of pity. There was no trace of affection in her eyes. "You're a failure, brother. You should go. Leave, and never come back."
~~~~~~~~~~
"Agent Ivanov, sir, we're landing." One of the techs, some bland-faced woman with a name Nik didn't bother to remember, was standing near him clutching a clipboard. He could never remember any of their names. He only remembered Larson because of the idiot's obsession with Ana.
He was barely off the quinjet ramp when he heard a familiar feminine voice. "Nikolai."
He suppressed the grin that was trying to make its way to the surface. "Lillian."
"Where's the Grand Duchess?" she asked. The reminder shot through him like lightning, shutting down the heated thoughts that Lilli always sparked in him. He gritted his teeth as he approached the eye-scanner, stooping a little in front of it. He stood up straight when the machine rang out: "Ivanov, Nikolai Y."
"Mission didn't go as planned. Ana chose to stay behind and break them down." His voice was utterly steady, even dismissive. If only that was true. Damn witch. He stood back as Lili stepped up to the scanner, then turned to him with an appraising look.
“Detka, no.” She ignored him, adamant that he needed to be examined at medical before debriefing. He couldn’t help the roll of his eyes, but he did see the logic behind it: he couldn't know what else the Maximoffs and Barton had done to him while he was unconscious.
"Apart from a bruise, Agent Ivanov, you are perfectly healthy," the doctor told him. Nodding, Nik tugged his shirt back on. He hadn't expected anything else.
"I told you," he muttered to Lilli. She swatted at his head, but he ducked away. "I’ve got to go debrief, but I'll meet you in a bit."
Lilli's grey eyes twinkled up at him."Oh, I don’t know about that. I’ve got so much paperwork to do…"
Nik slid a hand around her waist, turning and pushing her against the wall, his other arm bracing beside her head. Lilli only smiled up at him, tongue darting out to lick her bottom lip.
"Minx," he growled. "My quarters have a table. Do your paperwork there. And if you are wearing a little less when I get there..." He plucked at the soft, plain shirt she wore."You might even enjoy the consequences."
She blinked rapidly, glancing away, as if it would stop him from seeing the dark look in her eyes.
"Fine," she muttered, obviously trying for sullen, but the amused undercurrent was plain. "I suppose I’ll go to your quarters, then."
Nik just smirked, pushing away and heading for his debriefing. More like interrogation… The distraction of flirting with Lilli faded quickly, thoughts of the botched mission – Ana – filling his mind once more.
When he stepped foot in the conference room, Nik only expected Rumlow and Rollins. What he didn't expect was another man, younger. Early thirties, Nik guessed.
"Didn't expect you back so soon," Rumlow said as Rollins clapped Nik on the shoulder. Nik would have gladly spoken with his mentors if it wasn't for the unfamiliar face.
"No time for pleasantries. Report, Ivanoff." Could at least say my name right. Whatever. Might as well get this over with.
"The Maximoffs were more prepared than we expected. The Avengers have weeded out all trigger phrases. Anastasia chose to remain there and infiltrate."
"And you saw fit to abandon her?" The new man spoke again. The muscle in Nik's jaw tightened. Who the fuck does this guy think he is?
"I didn't abandon her, sir. She can hold her own." Nik fought to keep his temper in check. "My sister will break them down from the inside. Gain their trust. That’s what she’s good at."
The man’s mouth twisted into a knowing smirk that had Nik digging his fingers into his thighs to keep from punching it from his face. "I'm aware."
"With all due respect, go easy on him, Ward. Kid's worried about his sister," Rumlow said. Seriously, how is this guy even in charge? Nik surveyed the unknown man, some distant memory tugging at him.
"Not worried enough, obviously." The man – Ward – put his hands flat on the table, leaning forward and narrowing his eyes at Nik. Bah. As if Nik would find him threatening in the least.
Nik opened his mouth to respond, fury bubbling inside him, but Rollins nudged the table into him before he could speak. Nik cast a suspicious glance at the man. Rollins didn’t trip. Ever. But the point was made – Nik swallowed his irritation, for now, and recited the events of the mission in as dull a tone as he could muster.
"I see,” Ward said, when Nik fell silent After a long pause, the man continued. “You're dismissed, Ivanoff." Nik could hear the quiet anger seething in hiss voice. It made his fists itch to strike something. Who was he, to be angry with Nik that Ana was still at Barton’s farm – and without knowing the full truth? Nik was the only one who had a right to be hurt, to be angry. Nik took a deep breath, attempting to calm himself.
"Yes, sir," he managed to mutter, before stalking out of the conference room. At least I have something to look forward to.
~~~~~~~~~~
"What's going on, Nik?"
Nik sighed, laying his head back against the pillow, one arm draped over Lili’s bare shoulders. Sometimes he hated that she was so perceptive. "If I tell you, it stays in this room, krasivaya."
"Of course," she said, not even pretending offence. She rolled to her side and rested her chin in her hand, face utterly serious.
Nik took a deep breath."Wanda Maximoff... warped Ana's mind. The Ana I know, the Ana I love, is no longer there. She told me to leave her behind, Lilli!"
"It's not like that hasn't happened before. Ana's lagged behind in the past." Lili searched his eyes, concern plain in hers.
"You didn't see her. Her face was almost...innocent. I left behind a lost little girl, not an agent. And I did it anyway, I left. She told me to go and– and–"
Lilli laid a hand against his cheek and Nik turned into it, blinking away the sharp feeling in his eyes. Despite everything, her touch was a balm, and he felt muscles relax that he didn’t remember tensing.
"The Ana I know will work through it.” she said, offering him a smile. “You'll see. Have more faith, darling."
"I'm not so sure this time, Lili. Alaya Ved'ma was in her head. Who knows what she did in there?"
“Nothing you can do anything about right now. Go to sleep, Nikolai. Give her time. You can always gallop in like the rescuing hero, if it all goes wrong.” She suited her actions to her words, laying her head on his chest and giving an exaggerated snore.
“I guess,” Nik muttered. He shifted in the bed, closing his eyes, but despite the comfort of Lili in his arms, he didn’t sleep at all.
Russian Translations
Detka - Babe
Krasivaya - Beautiful
Alaya Ved'ma - Scarlet Witch