Assistant Director Maria "Badass" Hill
Assistant Director Maria Hill sighed as she cut the packing tape from the large box. It had been couriered over from Avengers Tower earlier that day, and she was entirely unsurprised when she removed the lid to find Sitwell inside, gagged and hogtied and padded with hundreds of Iron Man stressballs. Well, she'd warned Fury when he was sent in that it wasn't going to end well. Jasper was a good agent, but large personalities like Stark or even Barton ran right over him.
"Sir?" she said into her com, selecting Fury's channel. "I think the Avengers just fired Sitwell."
Fury sighed resignedly - he was about as surprised as she was - before saying something utterly preposterous.
"I'm sorry sir, you'll have to repeat that, I didn't quite catch it."
"I said congratulations Hill, you're the new handler for the Avengers. Good luck," he repeated, and then kicked her off the channel.
Well, shit.